My Initiation

"And it's permanent?"

"You know the answer to that," I said.

"Do you feel... different?"

I looked closer at Beth and pondered it. She was gorgeous. Her eyes were engaging and beautiful. She wasn't captain of the cheerleading team, but instead she was always on the field or the court as the star, whether scoring goals or baskets. She was still a bit of a socially awkward nerd despite her athleticism, so she wasn't the most popular girl in school, but I had always thought she was the hottest. Many men had fucked her, and they all raved about not just her body, but also her skills and great personality. She really was the total package. The top she was wearing at that moment was not designed to show cleavage, but her breasts were large enough to force the issue. She had left off her bra, and she kept leaning down slightly, "accidentally" showing me most or all of her breasts. She had on her finest jeans to showcase her athletic ass. Her long black hair was styled nicely. She had paid attention to detail preparing for my visit.

Yet I felt no attraction for her. Something was definitely changing. I could tell she was beautiful; that part of my reasoning was left intact. But my hormones didn't respond to her like they normally did. As if to emphasize that, she reached across and rubbed my cock through my pants. Nothing. She cried softly. I noticed her father out of the corner of my eye and was relieved when Beth removed her hand from my crotch. But then I looked closer. I noticed Mr. Sandborn was quite fit considering he was pushing 50. He had some gray hair, but it made him look more mature to go with his good looks and nice build. I certainly had never noticed before. My eyes drifted to his crotch. He was wearing baggy shorts as he mowed the grass, but as he moved, the fabric folded and creased in different places, revealing the true contours and size of what was beneath. He was packing something big. Finally, my cock began to grow, but it wasn't because of Beth. I was embarrassed, and I muttered something about being sorry and bolted off.

Men traditionally got a week off of work or school after their Initiation. The next day was Sunday, and I spent it alone at home. I felt no anger like I thought I would. Instead I spent a lot of time touching myself, not getting off, just stroking gently and admiring. I spent more time looking in the mirror, appreciating my body and the hard work that went into making it look so good. I never really stopped to appreciate it before; I just made it look good so I could make other people like me.

I shaved down there, all around, for the first time, and I loved how my genitalia looked larger and more clean and enjoyable now. Most men did this I heard, but I had never bothered. Not only did it look good, it felt incredible. I loved how the smooth, bare flesh felt as I explored with my touch.

I knew what I had to do. There was only one person that would understand. As if my new urges weren't enough, the change also spiked your hormones for about a week, and I was feeling the effects. I needed some release. I sent the message from the chip inside my head to the display and gave it instructions. Lamar's face appeared a few seconds later. He appeared to be in his living room on a couch. He asked how I was doing. "It's happening for sure. I'd like to see you, what do you think?"

He smiled. "I was hoping you'd reach out to me. You want to come now?" I nodded. "Address on screen. I'll be here."

I parked a few blocks away from the high rise building Lamar lived in. I was in stealth mode. Being Initiated by a black man was thought by society to be more degrading, but at least it was out of my control. But voluntarily seeking out and having relations with a black man was very taboo and could really hurt my chances for promotions at work, ruin my social circles, and in general taint me forever. "Going black" was a kink, and one best kept to yourself. I thought this was blatantly unfair, but again, I didn't make the rules. It also seemed inexplicable given the fact that most black women chose white men as mates, and society accepted the women fine. But there was a darker reason lurking beneath that acceptance. Black was being bred out of the gene pool, and the black women that chose white mates were doing their part.

Fortunately, housing wasn't that segregated. I blended in well among the various inhabitants that I saw in the lobby and near the elevators. Lamar lived somewhere among the middle floors in a modest one-bedroom place. The building was quite dilapidated. Lamar had a good job, but the real estate market was tight due to overpopulation and diminishing housing resources.

I gave a soft knock as to not draw attention to myself. Lamar barely opened the door and motioned me in, sensitive to the situation and reserving his greeting until behind closed doors. Once in, I quickly took in my surroundings. While the building was old, he had gone to some trouble to ensure his place was tidy and modern, and I felt right at home. He put his arm on my shoulder and gave me a warm smile. "I'm glad you came," he said. "Can I get you a beer?"

"Definitely," I said. I was nervous, and the drink would help.

We settled on his couch. "Why don't we catch up a bit. It's been so long since I've seen you," I said.

We put down two beers each as we caught up. I hadn't seen Lamar for almost four years, and he told me about his other high school and brought me up to speed on his job. We did college on our own time these days, with a full time job commencing immediately with rare exception. We were workers for the State first to contribute to productivity, and we were students second to improve ourselves for better work.

Lamar's exit from my neighborhood was pretty rough it turns out. His was the only minority family in our entire building. He had no idea who donated the eggs and had been his biological mother, but two black men had raised him, and at least he was in a two-parent household. "You have no idea how much your friendship meant, you reaching across racial lines like that," he said.

"I didn't even think about that. We were younger," I replied. I could tell he meant it, and I realized I was looking into his eyes and connecting, as if this was a date. He was handsome and had a great build, and I knew I was attracted to him. I had always known he looked good, but it didn't move me before. Now I was drawn to him. I felt my cock jerk a little in my pants. I wasn't hard, but it was swelling and noticeable against my tight clothes. I didn't even realize until now I had my hand on his shoulder. We were sitting side by side on the couch, but I was turned to him, my knee pressed against his thigh.

There was a pause in the conversation after the last remarks, and I realized I was looking between his legs. He had been wearing a robe since I arrived, and it was parted and showing most of his legs. There was a shadow, and I peered to the side without realizing it to try to see into it and find his penis. He laughed.

"What are you looking for?" he teased playfully. Apparently small talk was over.

I paused for a while, not wanting to rush the sex talk or the act itself. Then I went on the offensive. "So, I mean, are you primarily a top? I guess so since you're a Volunteer."

"Yeah," he said.

This was an important and common question. With adult society almost all gay now, coupling was not an issue. We dated, we loved, we did what any couple would do. But sexual compatibility was a whole different thing, and many struggled. I had read that years ago when people were gay only naturally, most leaned towards the bottom. But something in the way the program in the chip acted on your brain, most men adopted the traditional role of their heterosexual past, which meant basically they did the insertion and weren't comfortable receiving anal. These men were versatile only to the extent it had to be done to make the relationship work.

He continued since I wasn't speaking up about my own desires. "Did you detect that I was a little bi-curious even before the Change?"

"No!" I said, genuinely surprised.

He nodded. "Don't get me wrong, I loved women too, and had a few of them back in the day. But it was you who first made me think."

"No way," I said.

"Maybe it was because you were a good friend. You were also so damn cute. But I definitely remember, back when I barely understand any of these urges, I definitely wanted to fuck you." I knew I was turning red; I couldn't help it. But this was the new me, and I was flattered knowing I had turned him on. "I am about eighty twenty," he continued, meaning eighty percent top. "I actually only practice as a top. I only got fucked once, which was my Initiation," he said. "And he was tiny." He laughed. "I can't imagine what you went through."

"You're a big boy," I assured him, smiling. "I'm good now, but I was sore even through this morning."

The reminder of my Initiation, which as it was for everyone was against my will, darkened the mood for a moment. "How are you, are you okay?"

That was an open-ended question. I knew what he meant. Was I upbeat or depressed? Did he have to hurt me then, and did I still hurt now? Was I angry with him? "I'm good," I said, and gave him a sincere smile. "It had to be done. I'm not angry at anyone now. And by the way, it's working. I'm very turned on by you," I said.

"Can you be more specific? I'd receive for you," he said. "In fact, I'd bottom for you, but probably nobody else. You're not just another guy. I think I'd even like it, and you deserve it if it's what you want."

I knew he was putting himself out there now. But I also knew he was an alpha male, and a natural top. But I decided to play off this a bit. "Well, I don't know. Let's see it, show me your butt," I said. "I only saw your front the other day."

Lamar paused just for a second, then seemed very happy at the idea of showing his body. I remained on the couch to observe, and he stood in front of me, then faced away. He hiked his robe up over his butt, leaning over just slightly. The ass in front of me was perhaps as good as it could get. He was very fit like me, and that combined with his exotic, dark complexion appealed to me greatly. "Very nice," I said. "Turn, please."

He faced me and stepped forward into my personal space, his crotch only a foot or so away. I looked up at him and grinned, then eagerly pulled the drawstring to his robe and watched it fall open and to the sides.

The unit in front of me gave off a sense of immense power and manhood. He was so big, even when he wasn't aroused. The area was heavily manicured, shaved bare to emphasize his size. There was no stubble. He had even shaved since he fucked me two days before. I felt so lucky to have this opportunity to enjoy it. I'm not sure how I hadn't noticed during my Initiation, but Lamar was uncircumcised. He was starting to swell, but his penis still hung down and was flaccid. The foreskin completely covered the large head. This was definitely a sign of being in the lower class. In our society, it was a sign of humanity's primitive beginnings. But I loved it and thought it was a beautiful work of art. It only made me want to fuck him more. The same cock that had already bred me was still intact as nature had intended.

I couldn't hide my enthusiasm as I reached out and gently clasped the shaft. It was so warm and full. He filled my hand with extra length on top of and below my grip, and he wasn't even hard. I pumped it gently twice, enjoying the feel of the extra skin sliding up and down the shaft. Then I pushed my grip to the base, retracting his foreskin and exposing the brown head. I was suddenly hungry for him. This urge was almost uncontrollable. I leaned down, opening wide to take the head into my mouth. I slid down the shaft greedily, moving my hand at the right time to take as much into my mouth as possible. Already there was too much length for me to handle, and I couldn't get him all the way in. I held him there for a few seconds, and each beat of his heart pumped more blood into the hardening shaft.

I cupped his balls with the other hand as I slid my grip up and down. He rested his hand on my head and moaned his approval. In four strokes, he was up. The head was spongy and the skin to the shaft soft, but I felt the rock hard member beneath. His erection quality was superb. His balls felt heavy in my hand compared with what I was used to. It was more evidence of his potency. His smell was neutral with a slight must to it. I had no idea what that smell even really was until I had Lamar in my mouth, then it all made sense. My lips smacked as I let the unit flop out of my mouth. I smiled at him. I suddenly felt very aware of my butt. I clenched the muscles guarding my hole, and I felt something tingle inside me. Perhaps it was an itch, created by my subconscious mind as it dealt with new cravings and sensed nearby what would satisfy them. I felt empty. I desperately needed him inside me.

Lamar didn't say anything. He was being respectful and letting me sort things out in my head at my own pace. But everything was clear now, and I understood my purpose. I was both surprised and happy. "I didn't know for sure until you whipped it out, but now I am a hundred percent sure of my desires." Lamar was smiling and letting me finish, but he already knew. "I want to submit to you. Will you fuck me again?" I hated labels. But I was definitely a bottom.

Lamar adjusted his shoulders a bit, and the over-sized robe slid off. He was completely naked now, and I enjoyed seeing his entire muscular frame, including his flat stomach and those broad shoulders. "Bedroom," he said. I nodded.

I already had my shoes off, and the rest of my clothes came off quickly. I really wanted to be naked, but it still felt weird. We had been friends growing up, not lovers. The only time we had seen each other naked, we were being forced. I was being forced. He wanted to fuck me. But Lamar's encouragement helped, especially when my briefs came off. "Nice look," he said when he saw that I had shaved it bare.

"It looked so good on you, I had to try," I said.

Lamar steered me to the bed. I was an inexperienced lover, at least with men, so he took charge. He said he wanted to pamper me a bit since I didn't get any foreplay at my Initiation. I was face down on the bed, and Lamar spent a few minutes giving me a nice massage, starting with my tense shoulders, then moving to the lower back. He skipped my butt, opting for my legs before finally massaging my cheeks. His compliments about my body, in particular my butt, really helped. None of my female lovers from high school had objectified me this way, and it felt great since the words were positive.

He pulled the cheeks apart a couple times, and I knew he was examining my nest between them. But he made no move to take it to the next level. "Turn over," he said. He added a large pillow under my tush, and I spread my legs slightly, ready for him to fuck me. But Lamar was going to make me wait.

He smiled as he stayed to my side and gripped my cock and began pumping it slowly. I was already semi-hard, and his stroking got me to full mast in seconds. "I really like your dick," he said. "Nice look and a great size."

"Not quite as big as yours," I said.

He laughed. "This is actually the biggest one besides my own that I've touched. You're bigger than any men I've been with, even the black guys."

"Don't be racist," I joked.

I moaned as Lamar transferred my penis to his other hand and used the first to cup my balls gently. I relaxed my head on the other pillow. Clearly he was in no rush. Finally, the hand on my balls began to explore lower, finger tips pressing against my perineum. I spread my legs and lifted them, bending them back at the knee. I felt my hole exposed to cool air, completely spread for him. I reached between my legs and pushed his hand gently lower, smiling. I felt a finger press against the hole. My body tingled in response. My cock jerked and hardened a bit more. He left it there, teasing me, smiling. Then it was gone, and Lamar pulled a bottle of lube from his bedside drawer. He put a couple drops of the thick liquid on his middle finger, then returned it to between my legs. It was cool at first, and I felt him slowly working the pad of the finger in a circular motion to warm the gel and spread it.

I felt the forward pressure. He stopped when he felt my tight muscles, the tip already in a bit. He paused, then I felt myself relax, and he pushed the entire digit in my butt. I grunted and closed tight around him.

"So tight," he said. "That's what did it for me yesterday. I could barely hold my load from the first thrust." His finger began to slowly tunnel in and out. Today was very different from yesterday, I could already tell. My muscles relaxed quickly, and the probing felt very good. "You're learning. You opened for me and didn't fight it."

I nodded. "I'm very willing today, that's for sure." A few minutes went by as Lamar let me get used to penetration on my own terms this time. I appreciated that so much. After a while, I was dying to have more size. He added more lube, and this time inserted two fingers in me and stroked my rock hard cock again with his free hand. Precome appeared at the tip. He curled his fingers a bit, going for my prostate maybe, and then to my surprise he lowered his head and took my cock in his mouth. I almost spewed my load right there! I could have released if I'd wanted to, and I was grateful that I had good control over my ejaculation. He just gave me two bobs of the head, then looked up and smiled. "I almost came," I said. I love how this feels."

"Do you want more?" he asked.

I gazed from his confident smile down to the beautiful hunk of meat between his legs. I reached over and clasped the hard member again. "I want this," I said.

"Perfect. Do you want to ride me to start, so you can control the insertion? I'm going to take my time and fuck you right."

I did, and soon Lamar was on his back, with me in control this time. I took the bottle of lube and applied it generously to his entire length. I climbed aboard, straddling the powerful man and feeling his thick unit pressed against the bottom side of mine, our balls intermingling. I knew the slippery gel was spreading to my cheeks and all over, but neither of us cared. I was dying to fuck him, but once I was on top and knew I was going to get what I wanted, I wasn't in a rush. I took my time running my hands along his chest and muscles, looking into his handsome face. None of this stuff would have meant anything to me days before, yet today I noticed.

I hadn't considered how I might ride someone's cock before and wasn't sure of the position, but the correct way to do it turned out to be instinctual. Instead of lifting my whole body up to the top of his long penis, I adjusted my body forward and reached around to clasp the large unit just behind the head. God, he felt huge. I was impressed I was able to take him the day before. Were it not for that, I would have been very apprehensive. I only had to lift the member slightly, angled towards my front, and I pushed my butt back to meet him.

It was cool to see his face this time while he entered me instead of me being bent over and helpless. I fitted him at my entrance and pushed back. Unlike the day before, this time I was a little warmed up, and the tip slipped right in and began to open my muscles. It would still take some work to get around the impossibly large head though. I rocked back and forth, similar to how he did when he took my virginity. On the fifth or so push back, the head was almost in. I stopped this time and waited a few seconds, then bore down hard and pushed, opening around him fully. Stretching. Burning as my ass protested. But it wasn't as bad as last time. I was learning, and I knew I could do this. He moaned, his cock-head fully enveloped and squeezed by the tightest part of me.