My Irina Ch. 02

Jamie was tall and rangy, with wavy brown hair and an impish grin that seemed to make most women want to melt--or just lie down on their backs--while Barbie had black hair and dark eyes and almost impossibly high cheekbones, and a fabulous figure.

We met Jamie and Barbie at a party in November, at the Douglas/Zeta-Jones house, and were astonished when Barbie called a couple of weeks later to invite us to a small dinner party they were having. From there our relationship turned into a real friendship: Irina and I got over our initial sense of awe, and our amazement that two international celebrities would be the least bit interested in us, and began to enjoy their company.

It certainly helped that Barbie was from a farm in southern Ohio, where her real name was Jane Ann Stassky, and Jamie had grown up on a ranch in Texas--neither of them was LA-born and raised, and they were both pretty cynical about the overwhelming media coverage they constantly received. We went out to dinner with them, or sailed on their enormous sailboat (which Jamie had named the "Sweet Barbie"), or helicoptered out to Catalina Island for picnics with the twins. Barbie and Jamie didn't have any children, and they seemed to really enjoy being around Lily and Earl (at least for a few hours at a time).

Irina asked me several times why I thought they liked us. "I mean, they could have literally anybody in the world for friends--Julia Roberts, Arnold Schwarzenegger, probably even the president! What do they see in us?"

"I don't know for sure, honey, but I imagine they like the fact that we don't swoon all over them--we probably seem to them like a couple of reasonably level-headed, down to earth people, not all caught up in the Hollywood scene. And I'll bet they don't get a lot of that, surrounded by all the movie types and the media all the time.

"And then there's your looks." Irina regarded me blankly.

"Oh come on, Irina, haven't you noticed how Jamie looks at you?"

"Tom--he's married to Barbie! Why on earth would he bother looking at me that way?"

I laughed. "You're kidding, right? Okay, here are three reasons.

"One, you are breathtakingly gorgeous. Yes, Barbie's a beautiful movie star and all, but she doesn't have anything on you. The sight of you in that bikini you wore the last time we were out on their boat would have given the Pope a hard-on. And Jamie hardly took his eyes off you for four hours.

"Two--Jamie's a man. It doesn't matter that he has a beautiful woman; all men at least fantasize about other women, especially ones who look like you, and who are so much fun to be around.

"And three--you know he's a pussyhound, right?"

She looked at me, surprised. "Really? Who did you hear that from?"

"From Angela, and then from about six other people. They all say that he fucks around behind Barbie's back--always discreetly, never any long-term thing, but that he's dipped his wick quite a few places it doesn't belong."

"That's awful! Does she know about it?"

I shrugged. "I have no idea. Hard to believe she doesn't know anything, but...I don't know. Maybe they have an understanding, or maybe he just manages to keep the wool pulled over her eyes."

I pulled her close to me. "Not our business, in any case. They're our friends, but it's not something we've ever seen directly. And who knows? Maybe it's all just rumors. But I have to say, Irina--the way Jamie gazes at you, and the way he flirts with you--I believe it. I think there's something to it."

She scoffed at me, but I could see she was thinking about what I'd said. Then she kissed me and said, "well, it's a good thing I'm impervious to his charms, I guess.

"I mean, even if he is the Sexiest Man Alive, and even if there isn't a woman in the world who wouldn't drop her panties for him..."

She saw the look on my face, probably a cross between upset and amused, and she laughed with delight.

"You've got nothing to worry about, Tom." She kissed me on the nose. "He's way too sexy for me--I like my men thoroughly ordinary, nothing special, just like you, honey."

I growled at her. "I'll show you thoroughly ordinary!" I grabbed her and put her over my shoulder, Irina shrieking in surprise, and then I carried her straight down the hall into our bedroom and locked the door.

She was beating on my shoulders with her fists, not very hard, crying out "stop it, you brute!" and laughing.

****************

Jamie and Barbie didn't become our closest friends, but they seemed to enjoy our company and we saw a lot of them. We went to their formal New Year's Eve party, one of the hottest tickets in Hollywood. It was for about 150 people at their amazing modern house overlooking the ocean, and just about everybody there was somebody you've heard of or seen in the movies (except us).

When Irina and I arrived, all dolled-up and a little nervous, Barbie met us at the door with a big smile and a kiss for each of us. As she led us through the house she whispered, "will you both plan to stay over tonight, after the party breaks up? Jamie and I would love it if you'd hang around so the four of us can visit a little."

Stunned and flattered, we said we'd be delighted. It was our habit to have Elaine sleep in the spare bedroom next to the twins whenever we were planning to be out late, so there wouldn't be any problem about our not coming home until the next day. I stepped back outside for a moment and told Jayson he had the rest of the night off--to which he responded with a big grin and a tip of the cap.

The party was amazing. For me and Irina it was like a stroll through the pages of People magazine--we just watched, a bit starstruck, and enjoyed the champagne and the incredible food, chatting from time to time with a few people whom we'd gotten to know.

When the party wound down, around 2 am, and the last of the guests had left, Jamie grinned at us and said, "at last!" and led us to the comfortable patio that overlooked the swimming pool, with the dark Pacific in the distance beneath the stars. What a view!

He disappeared for a minute and returned with four champagne flutes filled to the brim, a final drink for the evening.

"To good friends!" he said, and we all drank, with us returning the toast by thanking them for an extraordinary evening.

Barbie rolled her eyes. "It's work," she said; and when Irina looked confused she added, "this is one of the things Jamie and I have to do from time to time--entertain the big people in the industry, put on a show, let everyone bask in everyone else's attention.

"But it's not what we do for fun."

Jamie added, "we'd much rather be off by ourselves, or with a couple of people we really like, like you guys."

We were touched, and said that we felt the same way. We chatted idly about the party and the people, and after a few minutes I began to feel incredibly mellow--and a little strange.

"I may have had a bit too much champagne," I said, and Jamie glanced at Barbie and grinned.

"Or something," he said. We continued to talk, and as I watched, dreamily, Barbie slid over next to Jamie on the couch and began to slide her hand under his open shirt, rubbing his chest. Before long they were trading open-mouthed kisses, right in front of us, and his arm was around her shoulder with one hand caressing her breast.

I looked over at Irina, expecting her to be embarrassed, and saw to my surprise that she was watching them with total absorption, a look of arousal on her face.

Jamie caught my confused look and smiled. "Ecstasy, man. Just a little X to top off the night."

"What does it do?" I asked. I realized that I should have been worried or concerned, but I wasn't. Just mellow, and sensual-feeling--aware of the light breeze on my face and the feeling of the sofa beneath me.

"Irina," Barbie said softly, "why don't you go sit on Tom's lap?"

Irina floated over to me, settled on my lap, looked at me with sleepy eyes and stuck her tongue right down my throat! I was shocked, but I realized right away that she was extremely turned-on.

We necked for a while, watching as Barbie and Jamie continued to fondle one another. Her hand slid over the bulge in his pants, while his hands caressed her breasts and teased her nipples through her flowing blouse.

Normally Irina would have been crimson with embarrassment, and I probably would have gotten up to leave the room. But the Ecstasy affected both of us, and for ten or fifteen minutes she and I continued to kiss as we watched Jamie and Barbie. Before long her blouse was off and her husband's big hands were caressing her gorgeous breasts, while she moaned or kissed him deeply.

When she started to fish his erect cock out of his pants, however, my dreamy arousal began to be overcome by discomfort. His dick stood up proud and tall while Barbie stroked it; then, licking her lips, she took it into her mouth, and I heard Irina gasp in excitement as she stared at them. After watching them for a minute or so I gently stood up, holding Irina, and said, "I think maybe it's time for us to turn in. Shall we head to the guest bedroom?"

Jamie pulled his lips away from Barbie's nipple; he looked disappointed but said only, "sure, man--but you're welcome to stay here a little longer."

I just shook my head and led Irina from the room. She was looking back, rapt, as Barbie lowered her head again to Jamie's straining dick and took it back in her mouth. I think she might have sat there all night and watched them if I hadn't led her away.

We were barely behind the closed door of the guest bedroom before Irina grabbed me and pulled my hands onto her ass. She was incredibly aroused, but in a kind of slow-motion way, the result of the Ecstasy and all the champagne.

We pulled off our clothes and devoured one another on the bed. It was very intense but very mellow too, unlike any sex we'd ever had before. I was rock hard, but in no hurry to slide my dick into her. Everything felt good: touching her hair, feeling the cool sheets beneath me, licking her nipples while she gasped and moaned.

We probably played together for nearly an hour before we came together to fuck, side-by-side, slowly, deliciously. Neither of us rushed towards an orgasm; I just slid in and out gently, feeling aroused but relaxed, as we kissed and touched and licked one another. We actually fell asleep that way, eventually--I don't remember if either one of us actually came.

When we awoke, around 11 the next morning, the house was quiet. Irina and I got dressed and decided just to leave, without disturbing our hosts. She wrote them a note of thanks as I called Jayson to pick us up.

All that afternoon we were quiet and thoughtful--I figured Irina was reflecting on the previous night's adventure, as was I. We finally talked about it that night after the kids were in bed.

"I guess it was, I don't know, fun--kind of exciting." Irina's voice sounded doubtful.

"You don't seem like you really believe that," I suggested.

"Well, the ... making love with you was delicious," she said, flashing me her beautiful smile. "So sensual, so relaxed. I never knew that that's what Ecstasy did."

But then she said, "but I don't know about what Jamie did."

"You mean the Ecstasy in our drinks?"

"Yes, that--without asking us or telling us. But also what he and Barbie started to do right in front of us."

I had wondered whether they'd been leading up to some sort of group sex or swinging, but I kept silent. It didn't matter, though, because Irina had been wondering the same thing.

"Do you think they were going to ... I don't know, ask us to swap or something?"

"It crossed my mind," I said. "How would you have felt about that?"

"If it hadn't been for the drug, the very idea would have made me jump up and storm right out of there. But I was feeling so mellow...

"I honestly don't know, Tom. If you hadn't led me off to the bedroom..."

We talked about it for a long while. In the end we agreed we weren't mad at Jamie and Barbie--exactly--but we were quite sure that extramarital sex wasn't anything we wanted to be part of.

****************

We had another adventure with Jamie and Barbie a few months later, on a 60-foot yacht in the Aegean. As you can imagine, it's almost impossible for them to get privacy on vacation without incredibly elaborate planning. They wanted to spend two weeks cruising the Aegean, and Jamie's assistant had done the research and located the boat they wanted.

But to conceal their plans they asked us to rent it under our names. They worked out involved plans to get there, and then they'd have the boat for the two weeks and we'd fly in to join them for the second week. (I was busy with Rick's and my start-up at that moment and couldn't afford more than a week away.)

In the end Jamie and Barbie's press people leaked the story that they were hiking in the Himalayas. They actually flew to New Delhi, then got on a chartered plane that was supposed to take them up to Nepal. After it took off, the pilot got revised instructions to fly to Istanbul--where they separated, donned disguises, and traveled separately to a small city on the east coast of Greece, where the boat picked them up.

What a lot of trouble! Irina and I were delighted not to have to go through such nonsense just to go away on a trip. But it worked--no one knew where "Jambie" really were.

When it was time for Irina and me to meet them we left Athens in a hired speedboat whose driver thought he was taking us to Santorini. Instead, we met up at a pre-arranged location with the yacht's dinghy, transferred to that, and were taken to the yacht.

When we came aboard, on a blindingly bright, sunny April afternoon, Jamie and Barbie were nowhere to be seen. The mate led us to our cabin, showed us all the amenities--it was amazingly luxurious--and told us that lunch would be served on deck in twenty minutes.

"Can you believe this, Tom?" Irina swirled around the cabin, marveling at the beautiful wood, the enormous bed, the mirrors, the decoration. It felt like a five-star hotel. The bathroom even had a sunken tub.

We quickly unpacked, pulled on our swimsuits and headed on deck--where the shock of the vacation greeted us. Irina was ahead of me on the stairway, and before I emerged I heard her gasp, "Jamie! My god!"

I came up behind her to see Jamie Breland stark naked, holding out a glass of champagne to Irina.

"Greetings!" he cried, utterly unabashed. "So glad you've made it. Here, have something to drink."

She was staring at his body, and I couldn't help doing the same. For one thing, he had a deep all-over tan; clearly he'd been naked for several days. And his body was impressive: strong, lean and muscular, with a well-defined six-pack, strong arms and legs, and his fat, impressive cock lolling between his thighs.

Irina turned around to me, her face bright red. "Tom, I'm sorry! I swear, I didn't mean to...."

"It's all right, honey," I said to her. And to Jamie, "buddy, I don't think we're quite ready for this."

"Are you sure, Tom? It feels so comfortable, so free out here like this." We turned towards the bow to see Barbie approaching, equally naked, equally tanned--and just as gorgeous. Her perfect breasts swayed as she moved, and the view of her carefully trimmed pubic hair between those shapely thighs was incredibly sexy.

Irina and I both stared at her for a moment; and then the spell broke and my wife buried her face in my shoulder. Again I said, "Barbie, Jamie--we're just not ready for this--sorry. We'll go back downstairs."

They looked at each other, exchanging some sort of meaningful glance, and Barbie quickly replied, "no, don't, Tom! Sorry! We'll get our suits on, wait just a moment." She moved to a nearby chair, picked up Jamie's trunks and tossed them to him, then quickly slipped into her own tiny bikini.

"There!" she said, when they were both covered up. "How's that?" Their suits were both very small, but at least they were decent. Irina and I smiled a bit wanly, and we joined them at the table near the stern, shaded by a canopy, where a luxurious lunch buffet had been set out.

"We are SO sorry," Jamie said with a smile, looking not the least bit sorry. "We almost never have this amount of privacy, and when we do it's such a pleasure not to have to wear clothes. Didn't mean to catch you by surprise!"

We told them it was fine, no big deal, don't say another word about it--though I could tell that Irina was really shaken. Later in the cabin she said, "I was so...I don't know, freaked out, Tom! I mean, there he is, the World's Sexiest Man, and I'm standing six feet from him, and he's stark naked!"

"And he's got one hell of a body too, don't you think?"

Irina blushed, looking sheepishly at me. "Yes, I guess he does. And Barbie--my God! Like Aphrodite in a Renaissance painting or something!"

"Yes, they are quite a pair. Jamie and Barbie, I mean! Not Barbie's..."

Irina whirled, saw the grin on my face, and threw a towel at me. "Oh, you! You are incorrigible, Tom Lawrence!"

We spent the afternoon napping, tired from a day and half of travel, and joined Jamie and Barbie on deck at sunset for dinner. We feasted on fish caught by the crew from the Aegean, on local produce, and had several glasses of champagne. Actually we began with ouzo, but Irina and I had to confess it tasted like antifreeze to us!

The evening was relaxing and delightful. We talked, laughed, drank until we were a bit tipsy, and watched the sky turn to a deep midnight blue and the millions of stars appear. It was magical.

Barbie said, "listen, we're both sorry about before. It wasn't fair to warn you that we wouldn't be wearing anything."

We both insisted it was no big deal; and she continued. "Are you sure you don't want to try it? There's no one for fifty miles in any direction except the crew, and they're used to it. We're all friends, and it just feels so great to have the sun and the breeze on your body...."

I sat quietly and let Irina reply. She looked thoughtful.

"Actually, Barbie, I sort of expected that you and I might go topless--we are in Europe, after all, and I know most women do that at the beach here." From the corner of my eye I noticed Jamie's face widen into a big grin.

"But I'm just ... I don't know. I just don't feel comfortable without something on."

"That's fine, Irina, really." Barbie was smiling reassuringly. "Bikini bottoms it is. And I'll make sure Mr. Stud over there--" she jerked her thumb at Jamie, "keeps something on as well. Though knowing him I imagine it will be a thong!"

"Just one thing, though," Jamie added. "We're still going to swim naked--Barbie and I, I mean. It just feels too damn good to do it without a suit. I hope you'll feel comfortable joining us, but whatever you like.

"But I promise we'll pull our suits back on when we're on board, okay?"

Irina and I looked at one another and reluctantly agreed.

****************

So Irina and I, at our insistence, avoided a week of complete nudity on a yacht with the world's sexiest couple. But not by much--Barbie's bikini bottoms were not much bigger than a pair of lacy panties, and Jamie did indeed spend the week in a thong that did little more than cover his cock and balls, with a thin string in back that left his ass completely exposed.

Irina's bikini bottoms were a bit more discreet but they still left a great deal of her gorgeous body on view for me and Jamie to enjoy. I was the most conservative, since I hadn't brought any tiny bathing suits, and Barbie enjoyed teasing me about my baggy trunks.

For parts of the week our near-nakedness seemed natural and comfortable, not sexually charged at all. The sun and the breeze DID feel great, especially early or late in the day when it wasn't quite so hot. Irina and I felt free, relaxed, and we had a marvelous time eating, talking, sometimes reading, and taking luxurious afternoon siestas that almost always included a lengthy session of lovemaking. Sex in the afternoon, on a quiet, rocking boat, with the light streaming in through a porthole--what in the world can be better than that?