My Life Ch. 02

I lost myself in the kiss and was surprised when I realized that my hands were running through his wet hair. I felt his hands around my waist and it sent chills of pleasure through my body.

Kyle stepped back and looked down, "Someone's a little excited," he commented.

I looked down at my bikini top and wanted to die of embarrassment. My nipples, which are freakishly large, were standing straight out and were hard enough to cut diamonds. I felt his hand under my chin, raising my gaze to his.

"Don't be embarrassed. You have no idea how much I love that," he said. He then reached up and took hold of the string that kept my top in place. "May I?" he asked, looking directly at me.

A thousand thoughts ran through my mind at the same time and I couldn't focus on one of them. But the tingle that I had felt in my stomach had flared into a small fire. It felt incredible and I didn't want that feeling to go away. I nodded shyly and bit my lip.

The next thing I felt was a tug at my back as he pulled on the string, leaving my top hanging loosely from my neck. He then pulled on the string behind my neck and top fell into my lap, exposing my breast to the warm air. My heart was beating like I was sprinting a marathon and I felt a little dizzy. I suddenly remembered that we were in his back yard and I looked to each side of the yard to see if anyone could see me.

"Don't worry about anyone seeing us. No one can see back here," he assured me.

I was still blushing bright red when I looked back at Kyle, "Sorry, I know they're small. I'm afraid that's as big as they're going to get. I'll have to plastic surgery someday if I want nicer boobs," I knew I was babbling, but I was so nervous and I tend to talk a lot when I'm nervous.

"Don't you dare do that, Jillian," Kyle said forcefully, "these are perfect."

Kyle leaned down and kissed my left nipple. I giggled nervously as I watched. He then moved to the right and placed another light kiss on it. But then he surprised me and took both of my breasts in his hands and sucked my nipple into his mouth. I put my hands on his shoulders to support myself. The sensation was more intense than anything I'd ever felt and I heard myself moan. I hadn't meant to, and the sound was different than anything I had ever heard before.

My nipples are one of the most sensitive things about me. Even the lightest touches can send me through the roof, and Kyle's touches weren't light. It was driving absolutely crazy. I could feel that familiar warmth building in my pussy and was surprised how fast it was building. I knew that feeling from being with Brooklyn, but it usually took a lot of kissing and touching to get me where I was now, and Kyle had only been at it for a couple of minutes.

Kyle paused for a moment, "You are a sensitive one aren't you?"

"I can't help it," I said in more of an exhaled whisper.

Kyle stood back up and kissed my lips again and then went back down to my neck. The sensations were too much and I clutched Kyle's head tightly and tried not to lose myself in his kisses. I had had more than one passionate kissing session with Brooklyn but this was so much better. I felt so small in his arms but so protected at the same time. And feeling his hardened muscles under my fingers just added to the overwhelming sensations.

Kyle pulled away slightly, "do you trust me?" he asked.

I felt like putty in his hands and as long as the sensations continued I didn't care what he did, "yes," I said almost out of breath.

I felt a tug under my bottom and realized Kyle had just removed my last bit of clothing. I yelped in surprise but the sound died away as his mouth came back to mine. I enjoyed a deep kiss for several minutes, pulling away on occasion to sneak in a deep breath. I just couldn't seem to get enough air.

Kyle broke the kiss and pulled away slightly. He looked down at my waist and smiled, "you are perfect," he said. I attempted to cover myself with my hands but his caught my wrists and pulled my arms to my sides. "You will not try to cover yourself, Jillian. Understood?"

It's hard to describe what I felt in that moment. Up until now Kyle had never told me to do anything, but what he had just said was a command, not a request, and something different, hard to describe, began to burn in my chest. I relaxed my arms and let him take a long look at me, trying not to look like the awkward teenager that I felt like.

"You got used to wearing just your bikini around me. Now I want you to get used to this," he said, motioning to my now naked form.

My breath caught in my throat at just the thought, "but what if someone sees me?"

"They won't. I think you'll find that you'll like this more than you think. From here on out, as long as we're alone, you will not wear any clothes in the house or in the back yard."

"What about you, are you going to go around starkers, too?"

"I'm guessing that means naked," he said.

I nodded, diverting my eyes from his gaze.

"It doesn't work like that."

It was silent for almost a couple of minutes and I finally had to look up. Kyle had stepped just out of arms reach and was looking at me thoughtfully, but a look of uncertainty crossed his features.

"What's wrong, Kyle?" I asked, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious. I started to cross my arms in front of my chest but stopped when I remembered what Kyle had just told me.

Kyle shook his head but was quiet for another minute before finally breaking the silence, "I'm not sure this is such a good idea."

Hearing that felt like a bucket of ice water had just been dumped over my head. Here I was completely naked sitting on the side of a pool and being rejected after he was the one that initiated everything. I got out of the pool and sprinted toward the house before the stupid waterworks started. I could already feel my eyes stinging. I should've known he didn't want to be with a skinny little girl like me. I had just been deluding myself. But the stupid prat didn't need to see me naked and then decide to I wasn't worth it.

I ran into the garage, not caring about the water dripping onto the floor. I was in the garage pulling my wetsuit on when I heard him barge through the door.

"Wait Jillian, let me explain. I didn't mean—"

"—you fucking wanker!" I yelled out, pushing my bike towards the door. "I can't believe I let myself think..." I didn't want to finish that sentence. I was out the side door, on my bike and to the street before I heard Kyle yell my name. I didn't turn back.

The tears started as soon as I was a block away and didn't stop until I was safely inside of my house. Well, they didn't even stop then but I was blubbering as badly. I had been such a stupid girl. I let Maximus into the house and we went straight to my room where I locked the door and closed the blinds to the window. I took off my wetsuit and kicked it into the corner of the room before pulling open my clothes drawer and pulling out a pair of old boxer shorts I had stolen from one of my brother's years ago. They were way too large but that made them comfy. I pulled on an old white tee shirt and climbed onto my bed, grabbing the library book out of my backpack as I did.

I read for a couple of hours, trying to lose myself into the life of Holly Sikes when I remembered that I needed to call Brooklyn. I went to my desk and fired up my laptop and opened the Skype program. It rang at least a dozen times before a sleepy, bedraggled redhead filled the screen.

"Jamiee, is that you?" she asked squinting blearily at her screen.

I sniffled and nodded.

"Are you crying? What's wrong baby girl?"

"Everything's a bloody mess here," I said, wiping my eyes with my forearm.

"What happened? You were so excited to go home."

"My parents left the day after I got home for some stupid business trip of dad's and then I made complete fool of myself in front of shit-for-brains bloke that lives a few blocks away. So now I'm home alone and miserable."

Brooklyn's nose wrinkled upwards, "A bloke... was he cute?"

"Brooke, what's that matter? The git made me feel like an idiot."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just surprised you've been talking to the opposite sex. I was starting to wonder if you were all lesbian."

"Well maybe I might be after today. Are you going to be my official girlfriend?"

Brooklyn laughed and even though I didn't want to feel better, the familiar laugh was soothing, "You don't mean that, Jamiee."

"Yes I do. Let's just make it official and then I can just tell everyone that I'm taken."

"Oh, so you want me to be your girl so you won't have to deal with one boy that made you feel bad?" Brooklyn's brow rose as she spoke and made me wish she was close enough to touch.

"That would be a perk, but no. I'd want to be with you because I love you."

Brooklyn's features softened, "I love you too little girl, but we better have this conversation when you're not so down."

I shrugged but didn't argue. She was right and I knew it. We had talked about this before but we had always decided that it wasn't what we wanted. We both wanted to have sex with a boy to make sure that it wasn't better or that we weren't going to be missing out on something.

"What did the prat do? I want to know what happened."

I explained everything that had happened over the last few days up to how I had bolted out of his garage and come crying home.

Brooklyn's eyes widened in surprise, "Wow Jamiee, you go girl. How old did you say he was?"

"Thirty-one,"

"Well there you go, silly."

"What do you mean?"

"Jamiee, he's almost twice your age. He knows your parents. He knows your brothers. If something bad happened your family would hate this guy forever."

I didn't say anything. I was still stinging and didn't want to feel even a little ounce of sympathy.

"I can't believe you were naked in front of him and he was able to stop himself."

I sniffed a couple of times and wiped my eyes again, "I think that's why he stopped. He saw this scrawny little girl and was like, forget it, I want a real woman."

Brooklyn's jaw clinched and she shot me an angry look, "Now you're being stupid. I don't know why you are so insecure about your body. But it hurts me when you talk about yourself like that because I think you're beautiful and I chose you."

I hadn't ever thought about it like that, and it made me feel even worse, but I wasn't ready to concede just yet, "You didn't choose me, you've been stuck with me as your roommate since we were kids," I said petulantly.

Brooklyn looked hurt at my comment and I felt immediately worse, "I'm sorry Brooke. I didn't mean it. You're everything to me."

"...I love you, little girl, no matter what. But you can be so naïve sometimes. Don't you see? Kyle isn't just some high school bloke. Kyle's a real man. He's not going to be happy just snogging you and touching your private bits. He's looking for real sex and he knows he shouldn't with someone half his age."

Deep down I knew Brooke was right, but it didn't make the hurt go away.

"The fact that he got you naked and almost kept going should tell you that he's into you."

I sighed and sank back into my chair. I felt defeated and a little tired from all the crying.

"Is that a hickey on your neck?" I heard Brooke ask.

That got my attention. I sat up straight and grabbed my neck. I then pushed the button to flip the camera so that I could see myself in the monitor. I craned my neck and saw immediately what Brooke had just seen.

"Oh my..." I trailed off.

"Let me see. Turn the camera back."

Reluctantly I hit the button and saw Brooke's eye's squinting into her monitor.

"That's not a small one, girly-girl. That's a serious hickey. How long were you two snogging?"

"I don't know, it didn't feel like very long," I said, self-consciously touching my neck with my fingertips.

"Jamiee, I'm pretty sure this guy likes you. He just doesn't want to hurt you."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"That depends," said Brooklyn.

"On?"

"You... what do you want to do?"

I sat and thought about that for a longtime before answering, "I know what I want. I'm just embarrassed about it."

Brooklyn was about to answer when I saw a light come on over her head and then her mother's voice in the background. Only seconds later I saw her mum in the monitor.

"Ah Jamiee darlin', how are you dearie?"

"I'm fine mum," I always called her mum since I saw her more than my own mother sometimes.

"You look like ya been cryin'. Are ya sure you're alright?"

I nodded, "Just teenage boy problems," I confessed.

Brooklyn's mum suddenly smiled and she looked ecstatic about something, "That's actually quite a relief ta know you're interested the boys. I was beginin' ta worry that I was goin' ta' have to plan a weddin for the two of you."

"Mum!" cried Brooklyn. I covered my eyes in embarrassment, and shook my head.

"What? Did you two think I di'nt know? Please. I only heard you countless times in here at night."

"How come you never said anything?" asked Brooklyn. I could tell she was as embarrassed and exasperated as I was about knowing that her mum had heard us having sex in her house.

"I almost did several times, but yer father tol me to let it go because at least you weren't goin ta get each other preggers. Besides, we were pretty sure you were having sex like rabbits at school. Well, if there is such a thing as gay bunnies."

I moaned and knocked my forehead against my desk several times. I didn't dare look at the screen but I couldn't stop the laugh that suddenly escaped me. Pretty soon I was laughing uncontrollably and my sides began to hurt.

"I can't believe you knew all this time," I managed to say between laughing fits. "I think this might be the most embarrassing day of my life."

"Aye, I suppose I shouldn't tell you aboot seein yer bare arses—"

"—Mum! Please!" yelled Brooklyn.

"Oh awrite, but we love ya dear Jamiee. And there be worse things than havin ya as a daughter-in-law."

I was speechless for a second about that one but eventually found my voice, "thanks mum. I love you, too."

I watched Brooklyn's mum leave the room and then Brooke's face filled the screen again, "I don't know what to say about what just happened," she said. "Let's talk later, Jamiee. I need to think about this for a while."

I nodded in agreement. I wanted to do curl up in my bed and do the same.

"But I want you to go talk to your man," said Brooklyn.

I sputtered but couldn't manage to put together a complete sentence.

"I'm serious luv. If it's not too late go over there and have a good talk with him. Whatever happens I guarantee you'll feel better. And then we can talk about mum knowing about us."

"Alright, I'll think about it, but...Brooke...I love you no matter what," and I meant it.

She smiled and it made my heart warm slightly, "I know. I love you back. Licking your pussy is just an added perk."

I couldn't help but laugh again as I clicked the button to close Skype.

This day couldn't possible get any crazier, could it?

"What should I do, Maximus?" I asked my dog who was curled up comfortably on my bed. He lifted his head and I could tell he was wagging his stubbed off little tail.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I better do it before I lose my nerve. Come on boy," I commanded. Maximus jumped off of the bed and onto the floor and followed me into the garage, where I put plenty of food out for him to eat.

I looked at my Luminox watch, a ridiculously large thing that Brandon had given me a few years ago, and saw that it was only eight o'clock, still time to head over to Kyle's and put things right.

The sun was setting so people probably wouldn't notice me riding my bike through the streets. I decided just to wear what I had on, so I headed towards Kyle's house, thinking of what I might say or how I might start a conversation.

I let myself into the garage and put my bike in its usual spot. I walked into the house and called Kyle's name. I heard some noise from upstairs and so I walked to the stairs and met him coming down.

"Jamiee, thank god. I am so sorry about this afternoon," he said and I could tell he meant every word.

"I don't mind if you call me Jillian," I started in a small voice. "And I'm sorry to. I was being silly and let myself get caught up thinking you really liked me. But I felt bad for just—"

"—don't apologize, little one. Can we sit down and talk? I need to tell you something important to me."

I nodded and started toward the couch in the family room off of the kitchen. He had called me little one, I thought as I walked to the couch. Normally that would get someone a punch in the gob, but for some reason I liked it when Kyle said those kinds of things to me.

I sat on the couch adjacent to the one Kyle normally sat on. I wasn't feeling particularly close to him at the moment. He brought a couple of drinks from the refrigerator and took his usual seat.

"Did I leave those?" he asked when had noticed the red marks on my neck.

I nodded and blushed like usual.

"Oh man, where to begin... Jillian, I really do like you. But like I said the other day, I'm nervous as hell that if I have any involvement with you it's just going to end badly."

"I know," I admitted. "I understand that. I really do. Is it about my brothers finding out, or my parents?"

"Partially," Kyle admitted. "But mainly it's about you. I've been trying so hard to be a better man this last year because I was a serious mess in the past. I was addicted to sex and let things—no, that's not right. I pushed things way too far.

"I want to have a good relationship with someone, but in the past I've always pushed those relationships to be mostly physical."

"Isn't that part of a relationship?" I asked, confused.

Kyle nodded, "Yes, of course. But I've learned that those passions have to be restrained in order for there to be love. I mean it might start with lust and be very physical, but the emotional side has to develop, too. If it doesn't it just all falls apart."

"That makes sense," I agreed, "but what do you mean that you pushed things too far?"

Kyle was quiet for a long moment, "Have you ever heard of vanilla sex or bdsm?"

I shook my head.

"Vanilla sex is just like it sounds; it's plain Jane regular sex. Missionary position every time and nothing too exciting. How about bdsm, have you heard of that?"

I nodded, "You mean like whips and chains kind of stuff? We're you into that kind of thing?"

Kyle smiled and gave me a kind-of-sort-of look, "That can be part of it, but there's a lot more to it than that, and yes, I was very much into it."

"Oh," was all I could think to say. But my mind was whirling a hundred miles an hour. I knew a lot more about bdsm than I was letting on, not that I had any experience with it. But I had read thousands of stories online and fantasized about it several times a day for over a year.

"You see, you're so innocent and pure that I feel like I'm corrupting you just by talking to you. I can't be responsible for that. I just can't... that's why I backed off at the pool. You are like heroin to me and I want to take you and train your body and mind to my every desire, but I just can't mess with you like that."

Several minutes passed as we both processed this and I think Kyle thought I was going to leave at any moment, but I was actually just trying to get up my courage to tell him something I had never even told Brooklyn.

"What if I want you to," I finally said in almost a whisper.

"What?" said Kyle, his head snapping up suddenly.

"What if I want you to do that to me," I said a little louder, trying to put some speck of confidence in my words.

Kyle looked at me like I had just grown another head, "you don't know what you're asking for, Jillian."