My Mistress

"Here" She said when I stood up.

"Is this what I think it is?" I had to ask her. It was a small cookie. It looked home baked but she had pulled it out of a zip lock bag that had an industrial looking label. It looked like a warning label.

"It's what we talked about." She said, somewhat reservedly, almost embarrassed.

"I don't know if I should." I pondered. I wanted to, it was just different. It was outside of my comfort zone.

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I just thought..." She was struggling to stuff the one she had taken out for herself back into the bag.

"No. Don't be sorry. I just haven't. I've never, well, I've smoked, I just haven't... Is it good?"

"NO, don't worry about it." She said, she laid her hand out as if to take it back. I couldn't figure out what I was doing. What happened the bold woman that had been sitting in the car? I pressed the whole thing into my mouth and began chewing. She smiled at me.

"I was going to say you should start with half." She smiled at me.

"MOM GOWL!" I exclaimed with a full mouth. I struggled to get it swallowed. "Was that bad?"

"It's not bad." She smiled. She broke hers in half and munched on it.

The taste of the marijuana was a bit overpowering. It was as if someone had added Italian seasoning and cinnamon to a peanut butter cookie. I needed a drink to wash it down.

"Screw it." She said, having eaten the first half. She pushed the other half in her mouth. I just stared at her. She returned my stare in kind and our eyes focused together on that strange place in space between us. "Now there's no telling what's going to happen." She smiled at me.

"I hope so!" I said excitedly realizing it made no sense. She looked at me, her head tilting slightly to the side like a curious puppy. She was too cute. "Lets get a drink!" I said before she could ask what I'd meant. I took her by the arm and we walked side by side inside and established ourselves at our usual spot.

We sipped our first Skinny Girl margaritas and whispered in hushed tones as she described how she had gotten a prescription for marijuana from a crooked doctor. She told me about the place she buys it, a strange little fortress of a building in a not so great part of town. She told me how they had dark chocolate. I licked my lips at the thought.

It was an older guy tending bar. He was there from time to time and knew us well enough not to ask if we wanted a second cocktail. He served it to us just as I drained my first one.

"We should take it slow." She said.

"I don't feel anything." I told her. "I really didn't. I didn't even feel the Margarita yet.

"It takes a while when you eat it." She said.

We sat quietly for a minute. The pause seemed unnatural. "How are the puppies?" I asked her. She told me a story about the older one breaking out of the back yard and getting lost. I was staring fixatedly at Jeopardy on the television trying to figure out what they were doing. It seemed confusing.

I knew the tequila was working. Everything had taken on just a slightest soft focus.

At the same time, the bar seemed too clear. I noticed details I had never noticed before. I could smell the enchilada sauce and grilling meat and it made me slightly nauseous and hungry at the same time.

The world was one of those seek and find picture books where they miniaturize the world using thimbles for trash cans. It was intricate and alluring and yet confusing. I knew what a duck looked like, I knew what a duck was, and yet damned if I couldn't find a duck anywhere in the picture.

"Hey." She said.

I looked over at her. She had been staring at me. I had known she was doing it but only now looked over to acknowledge it. I loved her eyes, the way she looked at me, and her mouth, the way she smiled at me. I wanted to kiss her and wanted to tell her that but wasn't sure how to."

"That was really unfair of you." She said to me. The words suggested she was upset with me but her face and the look she gave me didn't give me that impression.

"How. I didn't mean to. What?" I felt so sorry. I felt sad.

She leaned towards me until I felt her breath on my cheek. I could smell her hair. She smelled of flowers and vanilla.

"I can't take my eyes off your breasts." She whispered. Do you know how hard it is not to reach over and touch you, to feel them in my hands."

I couldn't help it. I reached my arm around her, my hand falling on a bare shoulder. Off balance I have no idea how we didn't fall out of our barstools. I held her close to me. I stole the hug; I simply forced it on her. I held her too long. I didn't dare do more. Not here. Not yet.

Sitting back up properly we smiled at each other. The moment seemed to drag on for hours as I looked at the softness in her eyes wanting her. Her expression was almost sad. It was true. She wanted me. I wanted to give myself to her. I don't know where it came from; I don't know how this urge could come upon me so out of nowhere at my age. I realized the things I was thinking weren't being said and she had no idea what was going on in my mind. I wondered what was going on in hers.

I had a pickup line. I had used it my whole life, at least up until twenty years ago. The last time I had used it I used it on David. I didn't know if it was appropriate. I had used it mostly and drunken college guys. It always worked. I'd never needed another one.

"Do you want to see my breasts?" I asked her. I rolled my shoulders back and leaned back against the barstool. Looking down at myself it was the first time I realized I hadn't necessarily needed to ask. Through the thin white shirt, every curve of my chest, the shape and texture of my large nipples, the firm erectness of them, were clearly visible.

"You have no idea." She whispered at me. It was everything I could manage not to kiss her.

"Can we go?" I asked. "Some place?"

"Yes." She whispered. I had already dropped a twenty out of my purse on the bar.

Outside we agreed we couldn't drive. She lived close. I told her I thought she did but I wasn't sure.

As we walked around the corner of the shopping plaza and got to the sidewalk I had to ask her. "Is it bad that I want to hold your hand?"

"No." she said, taking mine in hers. "I feel like I am staggering."

"You're drink." I said. "Drunk." I giggled correcting myself.

"You're stoned!" she teased.

"You're pretty." I said. God, I sounded just like David when he was drunk.

We turned down a walkway into an apartment complex. I felt the buildings and trees close in around us and a sense of privacy told me it was okay. I pulled her to me. I was glad she had on the heels. I was glad she was taller than me.

It was soft and moist, kissing her, like placing a fresh peach between my lips.

An excitement penetrated me with her touch as if she was electric and I could feel the pulse pass between us where our flesh met. Her hand gripped my upper arm. She was strong, not man strong, rough and clumsy, it was firm and delicate. I know I moaned as we embarrassed.

"Oh my god." She said when finally our lips parted.

"Yes." I said. It was all I could manage.

"I have to tell you. I feel bad. I have to tell you. I'm not gay." She said.

I was confused. She was rejecting me and yet I felt her welcoming touch. Our lips had parted but our bodies had not. My hips pressed towards her desperately. "Oh." I muttered. "I'm sorry." I said. "I thought we were..." I couldn't finish the thought. "I'm sorry."

She was looking down at me. We were hidden beneath a tree, the sun was setting. The sky to my left was orange and to my right was purple. Part of me wanted to run away from her crying but the rest of me, the part that was still in charge, couldn't let go of her. "Oh, we are!" she spoke softly but firmly. She kissed me again then, guiding my drunken ass towards a staircase explained. "I just know everyone at the gym thinks I'm gay. No one ever asks. I like boys - I just like girls too. I guess I'm not particular." I was struck by the rich deep green all around me. It was really beautiful. I wanted to lie in the grass naked feeling the earth all around me. Fuck I was stoned. "Sometimes..." she continued. "I meet women, and I get very excited and I get carried away and I think everything is going well but they find out I'm not strictly a lesbian and they get upset. I know you are married. I didn't really know if you wanted something to happen or not. I've been trying to figure it out forever. When you showed up tonight I knew I had to try. I wish I had your tits. Honestly, if I tried to pull off that look no one would be able to tell."

I think I understood what she was saying but I wasn't sure. It was so funny. David had done the same thing. All those years ago he had me walking back to his house and he started talking about nonsense and got me confused. I was smiling thinking about how women talk about how clueless men are but we are no different. I laughed aloud and she stopped, looking at me again. She was confused.

"Kiss me again." I told her, I pulled her to me. I ran my hand up her leg. I felt the bare flesh of her firm leg and then the delicious curve of her ass. No wonder David begged me to wear dresses and skirts. It was fucking wonderful. She was fully dressed and yet my hand was tracing the outline of her panties, just inches from her womanhood. Her tongue danced in my mouth. Fuck womanhood. Why would I call it that? My fingers were close to her pussy. It was a luscious wet pussy. I imagined fine peach fuzz tickling my lip and I gripped her ass firmly. Her hand moved up my shirt and her fingers took my nipple. She was firm and yet delicate at the same time. I could have come if I let her continue.

"Are we close?" I asked her.

"Right there." She nodded at the balcony behind me. I moved toward the staircase without removing my hand from her ass. I resolved to wear more dresses.

WE entered her house to chaos. I had imagined collapsing instantly into our carnal desires but the minute the door opened her dogs accosted us. A girl that lives in the complex had walked them, she insisted. They would be fine. She filled two metal bowls with food and they turned their attention to the dry dog chow. She pushed me towards a door half hidden behind a dinette set. It had been years since I had been in an apartment. Shoved into the back room she closed the door behind us and I finally could kiss her again.

It was, in so many ways, familiar. It was discovering someone new, fulfilling a lustful desire for another person. As our lips pressed together in desperation her hands moved over and beneath my clothing. She tore my T-shirt free of my shoulders by lifting it over my head and when she lowered herself to her knees, suckling t my tits, caressing my belly, and tugging my stretch pants down my legs her touch was similar to that of David or to that of men before him. She would reveal an area of my body and then focus her attention caressing and kissing and licking at it satisfying me and increasing the ache and need I felt for more.

It was, in other ways entirely new. Her touch was more delicate. Her kiss, lip-gloss to lip-gloss was an entirely new sensation. Her hand, grasping at my breast was familiar, the pinch and scratch of her nails and the delicacy of the pressure as she pinched my nipple between her fingers was entirely new. Her mouth on my breast was warm and wet and no different from David's embrace. Her fingers, teasing at my clit and delicately parting the lips of my warm wet aching sex were an entirely new sensation and I moaned at her touch.

Undressing her was familiar as I fulfilled my lustful desire and unique as I now held a smooth soft breast rather than a strong haired chest. Her legs were delicate and trembled at my touch. Her ass was small and round in my hands, delicate grapefruit rather than a large cut of beef.

Yes, I touched it. I ran my fingers along her strong thighs until I touched her pussy. It was moist to the touched, heavy with that musky smell. But it frightened me. I knew I was to press my mouth to her, to taste her. I knew the pleasantness of a tongue on my own, I knew, to properly make love to her, I would have to press my tongue inside of her but as I reached the thin trail of dark hair that showed the way to the delicate mound I was scared and shied away. I was embarrassed. She sensed it.

"Come here." She said, rising me to my feet again. We kissed again. I tasted my own self on her lips. "Lie down." She said.

I assumed the position. On my back at the foot of the bed I was in the same position I had been the last time David had done the same thing to me. I was embarrassed again with myself, this time for comparing the two lovers. I felt her hands on my belly, on my thighs. I felt her breasts along my legs, that was something new. I felt her fingers, she slid them easily inside, they were so thin. I had worried, I don't know where these things come from, but I had worried about her nails inside the softest most delicate parts of me. It was a silly concern and again I was embarrassed with myself. Then she was there. I felt her tongue and the slipperiness of her lips on me. I was moaning. Her fingers did not probe me, she didn't fuck me, it was slighter, more delicate, as if she were a craftsperson sculpting soft clay. My moans became cries. The cries became muffled sobs and an orgasm, deep and firm like no other crashed down upon me the way you see waves crash down upon ships in those storm movies except that I had no Matt Damon hanging over a rail to pull me back on board.

She didn't stop. She moved me up onto the bed. My head was on a pillow and I was watching her. She laid my legs flat on the bed, pressing me to spread them. The awkwardness of it was erased as she again began to work me with delicate fingers, the new position had pressed me closed down on her and she now worked me in a more focused way and I felt her tongue and fingers with a depth I couldn't have imagines. I watched the crest of her head bob and occasionally, when she would look up got to glimpse her delicate eyes. Dark and brown they caused me to recall Bambi, except not a buck but a beautiful doe. Bambi had a girlfriend didn't her. Bambi is a girls name anyway. It was a lesbian movie! Maybe that's what I never got. I was getting it now. I understood how a woman could get fucked without a dick in the room. Fucked. "Fuck me." I said. "Fuck me, baby." I begged her. In saying it I made it true and I was grunting, my hips humping no different than if a sweaty man were mounting me.

This one wasn't as powerful as the first but instead fell over me in a series of punches to my lower abdomen. My gut flexed pressing my hips up and into her mouth.

"Stop." I begged.

"Oh god. Stop." I tried again. "I can't"

She was on her knees and her hand slapped at my cunt as she went at it, two fingers flexing and plunging and fucking. My knees raised, my thighs parted and on her knees she used both hands on me. She was inside of me and on my clit and it burned

"Stop." I said again. My hands reached reflexively above my head. They found a hold on a rail or a bar or something and I gripped it.

"Not again." I begged and it didn't matter because she wasn't going to stop and I wasn't going to make her.

This one was no wave but a slap on the ass. A firm full force slap to the ass that caused me not just to cry out but also to shriek.

There was no fear any longer.

There was no waiting; there was no catching my breath.

"Roll over" I told her. Firmly.

"Right on." She giggled.

Furiously I ate my first pussy.

I will not even suggest I did to her the things she had done to me. I had started tentatively. It was, and this is the best way to describe it, as bad as the first time I put a cock in my mouth.

I didn't know what to do with my teeth. I didn't know where I was supposed to lick or how. My fingers, trying to mimic what hers had done so expertly to me, fumbled about as if I was trying to play a guitar never having held one before.

She was patient. She let me try for a while then reassuringly guided me. "Relax," she coached me. "Think about what you like to have done to you. Just try to do that." She said encouragingly. "I little higher." She helped. I realized I was afraid to lick a pee place when for almost thirty years I had been shoving pee tubes into the back of my throat. "There!" she told me, letting me know I was in the right spot.

After some time I found a rhythm that allowed her to relax and finally she was moving her hips in time to the motions of my mouth. I was close. I listened, I watched, I learned what it took to make a woman come.

I had a whole new appreciation for my husband and his efforts.

When she was close, the moisture increased. God, it was everywhere. I kept doing what I was doing but did it just a little harder. She made a small sound. The smallest of gasps and I remembered my fingers, suddenly and without warning pressing two of them up inside of her. I timed it well. Her back arched and she made a sound somewhere between a birdcall and a dogs bark.

My tongue and my jaw ached.

I moved up beside her in the bed.

We pressed our mouths together, the smell of sex washing away in the lust of our kissed. Her fingers found me and mine stayed in her and in a somewhat awkward position where we both lay on our sides we kissed and raised our upper legs so that our fingers could touch what they needed to.

I felt the way she touched me and strove to repeat it.

"Yes. Like that." She said.

If she moved her finger faster I moved mine faster. When she moved it in circles I moved mine in circles. When she slipped it inside of me I did the same. She was panting, gasping for breath between kissed and I moved almost of too of her, my fingers working her tight little pussy as I kissed her firmly, I imagined I was the man and pressed my fingers into her by rocking my hips and she gripped at my ass the way I pulled at David's and I pressed my tongue into her open mouth.

Again, she came for me.

"Oh baby. That was wonderful." She smiled and whispered to me.

"Lay back." I told her. "I have a lot to learn."

I was much better this time. As her enjoyment mounted so too did my excitement and I cheated my left hand between myself and the mattress until my fingers were on my clit and this time as I licked her I touched my self and I learned. A large flap of flesh filled my mouth, not like a cock, but still and as I pressed it flat to the roof of my mouth against my teeth I had her rocking on the bed and pulling at my hair to press my face down and into her.

I didn't want to leave. She told me I had to. She pulled on shorts and a T-shirt. I looked at her nipples beneath the soft cloth and understood a little better why David so begged for me to go out looking like that. She strapped the dogs' leaches to their collars and we headed out on the short walk back to Julio's.

"I don't want to go." I told her as she pulled the door closed behind her."

"I don't want to be Debbie downer." She started. "But does your husband know? I guess that would be silly, I mean, it just happened. You had wanted this to happen though. Did you tell him you were going out on a date?"

"No." I said shyly.

"Do you plan to tell him?"

I had to think about that. I wasn't sure. "I don't know." I said. "No?" I suggested.

"Yeah, so." She paused. I thought maybe it was because the dog was taking a dump but that wasn't it. "Yeah, so. That makes this all, well, lets say, extra curricular. I can't keep you late. If you are out late, you get caught. Getting caught is bad. We have to be careful."

I hadn't even considered that this was extra curricular. By that she meant extra marital, and by that, I meant it was cheating. I needed a change of subject.