My One Big Affair Ch. 02

"I bet she's meeting her lover!"

I felt nervous walking into the bar of the luxurious hotel Inn on the Park. I always feel a little jittery when entering a bar or restaurant alone. I feel people staring and that makes me ill at ease. But today I didn't feel just a little jittery I was almost shaking with nerves as I, panicking a little, hurriedly scanned the room for Jack.

Driving along Oxford Street in the cab I'd had doubts. Both as to whether I should go through with it and as to if Jack would? Would he at the last moment have a change of heart, lose his nerve, decide to stay faithful? Would I really be able to carry it off? What would it be like as we ate lunch, as we went to the room, as we undressed and as we made love? Would his and my concerns and guilt over what we were doing get the better of us and prevent us going further? Would it, I thought my heart dropping seemingly into my shoes, be like the time in the car? And most of all in some ways what would it be like being naked, well as good as I smiled thinking if the suspender belt and stockings I was wearing, in bed with a man other than my husband?

We'd agreed that he'd book a room and that we'd have lunch. We'd also agreed that at the end of lunch we'd decide if were actually going to go to the room.

"There mustn't be any pressure," Jack had said as I lay in his arms in the back of his car my bare breasts in his hands as we'd made the arrangements. "It has to be Cat, because you really want to. Because your heart, body and mind are all comfortable about it" he'd gone on.

"Jack" I said fairly sharply. "The way you're making my mind, body and heart feel at the moment I could do it now."

"No darling, we mustn't." He'd retorted as he slid his hand right up my leg and onto my bare pussy saying. "Must we?" posing the unanswerable question.

His smile from the table in a corner by a window overlooking Hyde Park sent a shiver of expectancy through me and at the same time reassured me. I walked across to him and felt wonderful as he slid his arm lightly around my waist and kissed me on the cheek. Such a simple gesture but one that most of the time is taboo for those engaged in an affair. He was wearing a beige, linen jacket with thin, black trousers and a white shirt open at the neck. He looked fantastic and the sight of him as he stood up literally did take my breath away; God I so wanted him.

He ordered the drinks and we chatted rather nervously and hesitantly. Despite that the mere fact of being together as a couple in public was marvellous. Smiling knowingly at each other, touching hands or arms, trailing fingertips across the back of the others wrist. Simple gestures but, in this our first real taste of being a couple, so meaningful and wonderful

Lunch passed by in a fog of indecision.

As we ordered I felt that things were going wrong. We couldn't recreate the normal chatty, relaxed and gregarious mood of the dog walking. During the starter I felt a little better, but Jack seemed to be quieter than normal and, rather worryingly, kept glancing around the room just in case, I assumed, someone he knew might be there. That brought home the dangers to me and I too started looking around in case a business colleague of Richard's entered.

As the lovely wine did it's magic with the lamb main course I did relax a little. I pressed back against his foot under the table and as the waiter cleared the table I felt able to unashamedly let him hold my hand in public for the first time.

But still nothing was said or hinted at by either of us as to what was to happen after the meal. The bedroom or back on the tube!

"Just coffee for me please," I replied.

"Maybe a brandy or something," Jack suggested.

"No I don't think so I've had rather a lot of wine."

Leaning forward and placing his mouth quite close to my ear as he squeezed my hand he said.

"Well we can always order it from the room can't we? Shall we go?"

It hit me then. The full enormity struck me. All that he and I had done in those woods and in our cars overwhelmed me. I had a moment of panic as the thought of committing adultery came into my mind. A huge doubt and a major degree of concern flooded my brain as the image of having sex with another woman's lifetime partner came into it. But feeling his hand squeezing mine and looking up and seeing the sheer look of love in his eyes told me finally that it was the right thing for us to do and it was something we simply had to do.

I leaned over to him and rather melodramatically whispered.

"Yes Jack please take me there and make love to me right now."