My Only Talent Ch. 18



Both girls gave me hell, but my stomach was growling again and I went back after the movie and got two scoops in a cone, telling them if they didn't want to wait they could walk. The both razzed me about my sweet tooth on the way home. When we got back to Alley's driveway, she said "Robbie, I need to tell you something, and Nora, I want you to hear it too."

I had heard that tone before from multiple females. To me it meant 'turn off the engine we are going to be here for a while' so I did just that. Nora and I both turned toward the back seat expectantly, but I could not even guess what Alley had on her mind.

"I wanted to apologize, Robbie, for the way I acted toward you in high school. I was chasing you, but for all the wrong reasons, and I now realize you had no interest in me at all, sexually, so I just made you feel uncomfortable."

I got some sort of simultaneous Suzie blip from both of them, sort of the baby version of the way it was when Lara and Suzanne got all fired up and their signals resonated and beat together. Was this mild signal empathy and shared feelings and the other strong one shared passion and ecstasy? I then spoke without thinking, my usual modus operandi.

"Actually, Alley, I always thought you were nice looking and smart, I was just put off by how aggressive you were, plus I didn't really think I was the man of your dreams either."

She laughed, a sad little burst. "I'll be honest. I was just horny as I could be all the time in high school. I wanted to jump everything in pants. I had it so bad that I actually asked my mother, God forbid, for advice about it. She told me to wait as long as I could until I found 'someone special' but that if I just couldn't wait, I should try to seduce you. I had told her you were one of few guys who hadn't screwed Suzie, and she said you would not gossip and tell everyone if I did go all the way with you. That's why I was so aggressive. You were the only real option!"

That explained a lot. But wait a minute. "It wasn't that I didn't find you attractive Alley, absent all the aggressiveness, but I never 'went all the way' with anybody in high school!

She looked shocked. "Debbie Grossman said she was going to do you after the junior prom, and afterward she said it was fantastic! What about Cecille Dunlavy?"

"Nope. We had some nice make out sessions, but that was it. I promised my parents and grandparents that I would remain celibate until my 18th birthday, and I did."

"But your birthday was after graduation! So even if you found me attractive, you would not have... you mean I never had a chance to get you?"

"Not back then."

She was silent for a minute, and then her face contorted. "My fucking mother! She's besties with your Mom. She must have known about your promise. That's why she sicced me on you! She knew you were safe target that I couldn't hit! That manipulative bitch!"

I suddenly thought of something. "While we're playing truth or dare here, Alley, what about that time at the country club that you lost the top of your suit? Did you do that on purpose?"

She turned so red that it was obvious even with just the light from her porch lantern coming into the car. "That was an accident! But it got me hot as can be, and it freaked my Mom right out, too. In fact, that gives me an idea...."

She opened the car door and I got out so I could walk her to her front door. I paused and she hugged me. "Robbie, if I ask you a big favor will you please help me out with something?"

"Maybe, but I need to know what it is."

"I need to think about it a little more, but Sunday night, right after Thanksgiving, I may want you to take me out somewhere!"

I got back in the car, and Nora tickled me and said "My my, another fit bird that wants to nest with you! I tickled her back and soon found my hands cupping her breasts. We had one quick wonderful kiss, and then she shut herself and me down completely.

"No, I mustn't! Let's please go back to your house."

When we got back my Dad and Eldee were waiting up for us. Nora bid everyone good night and Eldee started up the stairs with her. Nora turned to my dad and asked "Is she allowed to sleep upstairs in a bedroom?"

He laughed. "Eldee and all of our dogs pretty much have the run of the place. She seems to have decided to herd you and guard you, Nora, and I'm not sure we could stop her if we wanted to."

Nora ruffled Eldee's ears. "I would love to have you with me old girl! Let's go." They disappeared up the stairs. I suppose I would have to tell Nora how Eldee and all our dogs were trained, and what they were capable of. Nora may have been the safest young lady in Texas that night.

I spent a few minutes talking to my Dad about Alley, and her mother. He laughed. "That sounds just like something Alley's mother would do. She sometimes prefers manipulation over honesty. That may backfire on her."

We talked a little more about my experiences at ESU, and I told him about my growing appetite and growling stomach. He said he had the same problem when his talent was 'growing' and his college basketball coach made him drink chocolate milkshakes with raw eggs in them to keep him from losing weight. Damn that sounded good right about now! But I went up the stairs and was asleep in my old bed in less than a minute.

I was determined to sleep in, but I woke at my normal time, with my normal hunger. I smelled bacon downstairs and something else new and enticing. I put on my cold weather running gear, brushed my teeth, and made my way to the kitchen. Nora, Grandma, and my Mom all three had their heads together over a cookbook, in deep discussion. Eldee was happily liggen on the floor between them; wagging her stub of a cropped tail (which she seldom did) and watching me approach. The other dogs were once again circling the fence line warily.

Grandma was in control of the kitchen this morning. "Get yourself some bacon and eggs, Robbie, and we'll have something new coming out of the oven in just a minute to finish your hunger off. Nora is teaching us how to make proper scones, and we're using the last of the garden blackberries up in the process."

They didn't have to tell me twice, and that explained the wonderful new smell. In a few minutes, Nora served me two hot scones, full of blackberries and pecans, with a little butter. I'd never tasted the like. My dad was not far behind me and was just as impressed as I was with the fare. He was off to meet with a client for the morning, and the kitchen crew left on their shopping trip, leaving me to clean up the kitchen. Eldee seemed offended at not being chosen to go shopping so she hung out with me, not doubt her distant second choice. She sat in the driveway and sniffed the air while I used the running path around the pond, putting in five miles, and then doing a mile sprint, and another mile of jogging to cool down. It felt great, but toward the end I got a hint of that same unhappy Suzie that I heard last night, only weaker. The three younger dogs were stationed at the perimeter fence, watching a grey Volkswagen sedan parked on the road near the neighbor's place. Maybe they had company visiting for Thanksgiving too.

I went back into the kitchen, already hungry, and found a big Tupperware container of incredibly dense fudge and brownies labeled "Robbie" in my grandmother's hand. They were the perfect emergency stash for my sugar cravings. I went back upstairs and took a shower, putting on some regular clothes just in time to help unload the stuff when the cooking party returned from the shopping excursion, which was substantial, and then was informed that lunch would be out, not in, and that I was coming along, or going hungry.

My mom announced her intentions. "First stop is to buy you some new pants Robbie. Your old ones are all too loose at the waist and too tight in the butt and thighs."

"Well I have been running a lot more since I got to ESU, Mom!"

"That would explain your waist and thighs perhaps, but not your burgeoning bubble butt! What have you actually been doing?"

Nora sniggered from the back seat, and then said in her cutting English schoolgirl accent "Perhaps lots of 'traveling lunges', Master Robbie?"

Luckily we had arrived at the mall, forestalling further such conversation. A few horrible childhood memories were resurrected while I tried on enough pants of various varieties to convince my mother than no standard sizes, which my existing pants all were, could hope to fit me properly anymore. When the salespeople threw up their hands, my mother was undeterred. "Nordie's" she declared, and we walked all the way to the other end of the mall to the store. The guy in the men's department took one look and immediately understood the problem, although his eyes seemed to linger on my ass a little longer than I liked. He asked us to wait and called out a guy in his sixties who was a real live tailor, not a clerk. He took some measurements, and asked me to come back in two hours for a fitting. That sounded like our cue for lunch, and I was already starving.

My mother would never be caught dead in a food court, so we left the mall and headed further south on Preston to Whole Foods, were we raided the salad bar. It was a step up from the dorm serving lines, albeit more expensive, and weighing your plate was different touch. Back to Nordstrom's, and a second fitting, and this had the tailor muttering about another two hour wait. Nora and my Grandma headed for Williams-Sonoma, and my mom made a beeline for the women's department, leaving me to my own devices for two hours. I had actually never been to this mall before, so a quick look around was in order. I began using the old 'follow the right hand wall' plan to try to cover everything, and realized that even after my morning run I still craved more exercise. I also found another ice cream place and took the edge off my nascent after lunch hunger. As I began to see how many attractive women were walking around this place, I realized that I craved something else, too. I wanted to keep my no masturbation policy in effect, but in the present situation I had no real date prospects lined up, and I really wanted someone besides myself to comment positively on the size of my first ejaculation in a while.

I got to the end of long hallway and sat on the only bench that was available, deciding to lurk and listen for Suzie signals. The logistics were not favorable, as I had to be back to meet my Mom in about an hour and forty minutes. I was outside a dress shop that catered to upscale professional women, usually in their thirties or forties. I knew that girls my age generally considered it a store for their mothers and not for them, but given my recent MILF and even GILF sensitivities that was not necessarily a bad thing. The first woman to emerge reminded me of Mrs. Douglass, my thirty-something and widowed first sex teacher, and that reminder caused a very predictable circulatory reaction. I would have to stay seated for a while. The woman clicked by proudly on her medium heels, but sadly sent no Suzie for me.

I remembered my Mom's rejoinder about not having any one night stands, but what about one hour zipless fucks? What if the woman wanted exactly the same thing that I did? Was my Suzie receiver good enough to gauge the risk of such an encounter? I knew I could probably screen out the next Melanie, but could I tell enough to assess the STD risk of a merely promiscuous woman? All else being equal, I seriously questioned if an older woman who would pick up an eighteen year old guy at the mall two days before Thanksgiving really qualified as a low risk kind of sex partner.


Sarah was very unhappy. Robbie was finally alone in the mall, but he was way down at the end of a long corridor, and she didn't want to approach such that he might recognize her, even in this wig and glasses, and she couldn't be sure that she had not worn this same outfit to Rhetoric & Composition once, and that it might trigger his recall. He was just sitting on that bench. Was he waiting for someone? Another lover?


A nice looking woman in her forties emerged from the dress shop, smiled, and even sent some Suzie for me, but as she strutted by I noticed a big engagement ring and wedding band on her finger. I didn't need any special talent to figure her out.

One of the salesgirls came out, sat on the other end of the bench a moment, and said "Doing a little MILF watching perhaps?"

She sent no Suzie, and stank of tobacco, so I assumed she was on her way to a smoke break. Somehow she got under my skin a little bit. I looked her up and down, and replied "You don't seem the type for that, but each to his own."

"I didn't mean me, you idiot, I meant you ogling the customers!"

"Well, the last two were pretty nice looking, and THEY smelled good."

Her face turned hard as stone, and she stood up and walked toward the nearest exit. On her way she stopped and talked briefly to a security guard, who gave me a dirty look as she continued on her way out to smoke. Perhaps they were cigarette buddies, but he did not join her outside. Instead, he started toward me. Oh boy. Well, at least it would keep me from thinking about sex for a while, and I could try out some of the stuff Kevin had passed on from his father. I turned on the audio recording app in my phone, with the little special feature from my hacker friend Cisco that saved the recording to the phone company voicemail server every few seconds, and spotted at least two security cameras that should be covering me.

The guard had a body like "Paul Blair: Mall Cop" and a face like Barney Fife. "Time for you to move on out of the mall, boy!" he said loudly.

I hoped Kevin's dad knew his stuff. "Sir, are you a sworn peace officer operating under color of your authority?" I knew he wasn't, because a real cop would have handled the situation a lot better, even if I was actually loitering.

I could tell he had never been asked that question. I was not even sure he knew what I meant, which was a formal way to say 'you are just a rent a cop'. I deliberately skipped the next logical part about him potentially being an authorized agent of the mall's owners, and went right on, loudly enough for the recording, "I'll take your silence as a "NO". Are you making a citizen's arrest, and prepared to take on all legal liability that entails?"

This time he did open his mouth, but nothing came out.

"I'll take that as a "NO" also. Are you attempting to kidnap me, Sir?"

He found his voice. "I am the guy that's going to beat your ass is you don't move on, shit head!"

"I don't think such profanity it appropriate, and I am sure your employer would not approve. On what basis are you asking me to leave?"

"I'm not asking, shithead, I'm telling. You are loitering and I am throwing your ass out of here!"

I looked at his name tag, "Well, Jerry, are you prepared to tell the REAL police how you know I'm loitering? Because I have two very recent merchant receipts in my pocket, and I am sure several cameras recorded me trying on clothes and making those other purchases. And there are at least three witnesses and two cameras watching us right now. So I am afraid you would end up apologizing to me, and maybe losing your job. Is that what you want?"

He smiled. "Those cameras don't have audio, dumbass. As far as they can tell, I am just asking you to leave on the basis of a complaint from a woman who works in a store here. When you made a verbal threat towards me, I was forced to defend myself, all in policy, plus I get to enjoy messing up your face!"

He suddenly drew a little collapsible baton, and took a stance like he was going to hit me with it. I didn't have time to think, but it triggered the reflexes I developed when playing doubles tennis, to make sure my partner's racket didn't hit me in the face. I ducked, sidestepped, and took two steps back, watching him warily. Unfortunately, I didn't have a tennis racquet to block his next swing with. He lunged toward me, but tripped on the bench and went down in a heap.

For the benefit of the witnesses, and my recorder, I loudly said "Would someone please call the cops? I am afraid this nut is going to cause me serious bodily injury!" I took several more steps back. The cameras would clearly show that he was pursuing me, not responding to a threat, and the audio recording should seal the deal.

"What's the problem here, Jerry?"

This guy looked like the supervisor, or sergeant, or whatever you call him. I couldn't tell how much he had seen, but I did sense that he wasn't Jerry's biggest fan.

"No problem, Sir. I just tripped over the bench."

The supervisor looked at me, then back to Jerry. I shrugged, and said. "I'm sure you will check the security tapes as a matter of course. That should tell you all you need to know." Jerry looked very nervous at this. By this time the stinky smoking salesgirl had returned, perhaps to gloat. I showed her that the recording app was running on my phone. "This young lady may be able to shed some light, too." I did not tell her when I had started the recording.

She spoke to the supervisor, and he asked her a couple of questions, and then turned toward me. "Sorry for the misunderstanding, Sir."

I got back to meet my Mom at Nordstrom's with about two minutes to spare. Grandma was waiting for me.

"Your mom and Nora went off looking for something upstairs. They'll be back in few minutes. Meanwhile, I wanted to ask you about your 'birder' girlfriend, and Nora. Do they know each other?"

"I don' think so. My birder girl got a job offer in England, so she is heading out right after graduation in May to take a job as some sort of entry level museum curator, apparently quite a rare starting position in her field. Suzanne, Nora's friend that I have been dating since September, knows about the other girl."

She looked at me sideways. "How did strip birding go?"

"I learned a lot, grandma. Be sure to pass along my special thanks again to the Hocheim's. Their place is fantastic. I don't think I will even forget my first Whooping Crane, nor my first Black Legged Kittiwake. Very memorable, but I'm not planning to change majors to Ornithology."

"Does she know you really liked her?"

"Grandma, I can honestly say she will always remember that I worshipped her when we were together." Grandma smiled.

Nora returned with my Mom, who took me back to the tailor again. She had ordered four pairs of pants altered for me: grey, navy, and two in khaki. I could sense some Christmas presents coming, too. I thought my long ordeal was over, but then she insisted that I select two suits, since my current ones were several years old and wouldn't fit either. The tailor said he now had my measurements on file, and he could alter them and have them ready for pick up tomorrow after 4. They were a considerable upgrade from my current suits, which were both 2 for 1 JC Penney specials that weren't exactly top of the line to begin with. I had to admire his salesmanship as he reminded my mother that now that since my measurements were on file, she could order any clothing from their store for me and they could alter it and ship it to me with almost no effort on her part.

The rest of the afternoon was taken up with cooking and planning for cooking. Mom, Grandma, and Nora scheduled themselves like surgeons, with Eldee guarding Nora at all times, and my Dad and I were like operating room technicians, responding to their demands to fetch, peel, chop, boil, and anything else they demanded. All of the ovens were in play, and most of the stove burners. Nora was fascinated by the tamale making process, and I was getting hungry anticipating dinner tomorrow night. But there was light at the end of the cooking tunnel, as my Dad and I were detailed to go pick up my cousins at the airport. Before we left, I spent a few minutes alone with Nora, telling her about the dogs, and warning her about not discussing anyone's 'talents' around my cousins when they arrived, and I told her why. She looked sober and said that she understood. I kissed her, and she kissed me back. She also told me that we had a date with Alley for the Sunday night after Thanksgiving: Alley was going on a little 'adventure' and we were going to be her wingmen.

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