My Only Talent Ch. 35

Big Bones walked out the door and down the hallway where I knew Cisco had already scrambled the video cam. He made his way down one level and out to the pool area, where Suzanne and Lou Baby had recently played their little sun tan oil scene for the weekend condo couples. We had a perfect view out the big picture window that overlooked the pool. Big Bones was recognizable, especially in ESU's backyard. Several bikini-clad women immediately asked him to take selfies with them, and he obliged them. As they tweeted and instagrammed and snapchatted, more people arrived, including TMZ. No one was paying any attention to us. Hooray.

I began to relax a little bit. Then I got tense, thinking about what was about to happen to Suzanne. At least it wouldn't be televised. I remembered the old Texas governor who infamously advised to "just relax and enjoy it". Tell my stomach that. It was doing flips and flops, and it wasn't because I was hungry. I couldn't relax, but maybe I could enjoy it, at least my part of it.

Suzanne was now overdue. My blood pressure went up even higher. I began checking my phone every minute. Kevin, Ralph, and Husky avoided looking at me.

My phone suddenly went ping. A text, from Suzanne: "MIKE AWOKE AND IS ASKING FOR ME! On my way to San Antonio. More when I know. S."

Suddenly my ears were roaring and my heartbeat sounded just like when I finished that marathon. The lights got brighter, and I couldn't breathe right. I hadn't felt like this since I hit my head on the net support pole on the tennis courts of the old country club. I swayed and fought to stay standing. Was I the guy that said she had an 'unconditional release' from our relationship if Mike recovered? Big of me, but now I was going to die! I needed to sit down, but I was afraid to move at all. I just knew she was going to leave me forever, for a cripple!

Another text pinged in on my phone. It was from Cisco. "I am okay with this. Go for it!"

What the hell? I don't give a flying fuck what Cisco thinks! He is okay with me losing Suzanne! Screw that. Wait a minute, how the fuck does he know? Suzanne didn't include him in her message. I had already typed "FU"... to respond to him before I remembered his SMS hack. He was replying to something he had already seen, but I hadn't.

A text popped up from Mei Ling. "Robbie, Suzanne texted me she is going to SA. I am going to take her place for the surprise party! See you soon."

So THAT was what Cisco was okay with, eh? I'm not sure I can even get it up for Mei Ling if I lose Suzanne. What the hell is happening to me? That means I do love Suzanne. A lot of good it will do me! I want to die, and now!

Husky walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Robbie, your face turned completely grey! Are you okay?"

No, I am not okay. I may never be again.

He tried to catch my eye. "Are you really on board with what is about to happen to Suzanne?"

I was not sure I could speak. I squeaked. "No, but it's not what you think."

He looked really worried.

I choked. "Suzanne had to go to San Antonio at the last minute."

His face fell. "Why?"

"Mike woke up."

He looked confused. "Who the hell is Mike?"

I choked again. "Suzanne's first love. He got hurt in a wreck. He has been in a coma for two years. I thought he would never wake up." I forced out more. "She is on her way to San Antonio to see him." I actually sobbed.

"Jeesh, Robbie, That's not good." What amazing insight. He was Stanford graduate school material for sure!

He looked sad. Was he commiserating with me, or thinking about missing his shot at Suzanne?

"I guess you just have to wait and see, huh?"

Yep. If I didn't die of a broken heart in the interim. "But the party is not cancelled." I tried to smile. "Mei Ling wants to take her place!"

He looked worried again. "You mean the girl Cisco dates? I heard she was the female Bruce Lee. I heard she could kill you three ways with one hand!"

I looked up at him. "Well, I guess you better do your best to please her, then, shouldn't you?"

He got a faraway look in his eyes. "What about you?"

"I'm out, buddy. I can't think about anything but Suzanne right now!"

"Well, maybe what you need is something to take your mind off Suzanne. Mei Ling is might be perfect for that."

Mei Ling was hot, and I occasionally had some amazing dreams about her, and I had a pretty good idea she was my kind of girl. But my heart and mind were not my own right now. I wanted to get in my car and drive until it didn't hurt anymore. But that would take a lot more than one tank of gas.

Another text from Mei Ling: "I'll be there in 30 minutes, boys!??"

I didn't want to watch, so I didn't want to stay. Was that being rude to Mei Ling? Did I care?

Another text pinged. It was probably Suzanne telling me to lose her number for good.

Nope. It was from Lara. "Just heard about Suzanne and Mike. How are you taking it?"

"What is the emoticon for clinical depression?" She probably knew it.

She took several minutes to respond, but then she shocked me. "Snap out of it, Robbie, don't be a punk. This is Texas. Mike was QB1. You know the unwritten rules. He can't lose his starting job to an injury. If he recovers he gets to play again. And you have to keep playing your best for the team."

I just sat there. I read it again. I was completely numbed. I couldn't respond.

She called and I picked up the phone and held it to my ear. "Robbie, you are either a top or you're not! I want you to make sure that Mei Ling gets the nastiest gang bang and the toughest kind treatment of you ever gave me. That's what she craves. Otherwise, maybe you can crawl back and be my little bitch! Maybe THAT is what YOU really WANT! And you can leave Nora to me to, if you can't handle it!"

I felt a white-hot poker stuck in my gut. Pain like I had never experienced before. I was losing it all. It was over. They say contemplating your execution clears and focuses the mind. And death was certainly at my doorstep. I needed help. My last appointment with Asa had already happened. The only shrink I had left to consult was my Mom. Just like that first day of school that scared me so badly that I didn't want to go. Work through all the possibilities, Robbie. What was the worst that could happen to me? How could I deal with it?

Well, I could lose Suzanne, Lara, and Nora, drop out of school and kill myself. That's the plan! That's exactly what I felt like doing. From the highest high to the lowest low, all in two quick semesters at ESU. It would be best if I did it before Millie and Jay got married in July. Don't want to rain on their parade, you know. The sooner the better, I guess. What's the best way?

Believe it or not, a GANTT chart appeared in my mind, just like in Engineering 101. Like project "Spank Lara", but this one was project "Die Robbie"! How many days before the July 4th wedding should my funeral be? How many days between my death and the funeral? What was the indicated calendar date for me to die? This was not nearly as much fun as "Spank Lara" had been.

What was the next worst outcome. I could lose all three girls, drop out of school, but not die? Not much of an improvement. What's that minimax algorithm thing again? Choose the least worst alternative? Keep looking.

I could lose Suzanne, and Lara, who would never respect me again for being a wimp, drop out of school, and somehow keep Nora. Nope. Not realistic at all.

Lose Suzanne, Lara, and stay in school, and keep Nora. Possible, maybe.

Lose Suzanne, but keep Lara and Nora and stay in school. Maybe that's what Lara was telling me I should do.

Lose Suzanne for a while, keep Lara and Nora, stay in school, and have Suzanne come back to me when she sees that I am better for her than Mike? That sounds a lot better.

As above but make Suzanne crawl and beg for me to take her back, when she realizes she would never be happy with Mike? Yeah. I like that one best of all so far.

That white-hot poker of pain inside me expanded and grew into a giant white pillow of heat, anger, and cruelty that filled my gut. My id ruled me. I felt a hotshot of testosterone flood my system. I would decide what happened!

Lara had waited a long time for me to speak. "I will deal with you later, slut! You are mine! To do with as a please! Never forget that! While I am fucking Mei Ling like she has never had it, you can wish it was you."

Lara drew in a big breath. "Yes, Master!" and hung up.

My heart was beating like a trip hammer. I felt my chest and shoulders swell up. I stood taller. I was excessively hetero-normative and damned proud of it!

A text pinged in. It was a picture of Lara, naked and on her knees in her apartment, wearing only that tight little smile I loved so much. Suddenly I was hard as a rock. Where the hell was Mei Ling?

The doorbell rang. Kevin opened it. He was expecting Suzanne. I'm not even sure he had ever met Mei Ling, although he might have seen her at some parties. He looked shocked. So did Ralph.

Mei Ling looked around and smiled. 'What's going on at the pool?"

I was back on my game. "Just a little diversion. Nothing to worry about. Your full attention is required here."

I made the formal introductions. I finished with Kevin, our host. "Gentlemen, Mei Ling is our slut for the evening."

I pushed her down to her knees.

She had her Vietcong Full Metal Jacket movie hooker outfit on. "Hi, GI! Suckey Fuckey?" She had that magic little smile down pat already.