My Poor Brother

My younger brother Jeff and I have always had a rocky relationship. He's really only my step-brother and I am ten years older than he is. When he was 20, I got divorced and moved back in with him and our mother. That's when things came to a head.

He did a lot of things that really irked me. One of these involved the stupid ping pong paddles. I know this shouldn't be a big deal, but I got tired of finding them all over the house. One day I was in the basement and I found a ping pong paddle in the dryer. It really pissed me off bad.

I went upstairs to confront him about it. As I went looking for him I saw him leaving the bathroom. He had just taken a shower and (as I found out later) he thought he was the only one home. He was buck naked and headed for his room and didn't see me behind him.

As he was walking, he stepped on something and bent over to take care of his foot. I could see his freshly-showered sack just swinging and swaying there as he was messing with his foot. I couldn't resist...

I took that ping pong paddle and swatted his balls hard. He screamed like a little girl and ran to his room. I got a good laugh out of it at the time but I ended up having a scene with mother.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time. You know, make the punishment fit the crime," I said.

"You could have hurt him bad!" she said.

"Yeah, well, there's not much there to damage," I said. Mother wanted to laugh, I'm sure, but she fought it off. "Please tell me you didn't go in there and check 'em out," I said.

"Yes, I did look. His little nuts are swollen some but they'll be okay."

"Did you make sure his little weenie is okay, too?" I taunted.

In a harsh whisper she said, "Now cut that out! I don't want you teasing him about the size of his penis! Besides, when did you ever see it?"

"Today! Duh! He was stark raving nekkid when he was strolling down the hall. How else do you think I was able to get such a clean shot at him?" I said.

After that, I decided it was my mission in life to totally humiliate him. After all, that's an older sister's mission in life, right?

I figured that I would wait until the time was right. It wasn't enough to shame him with just me and mother around. I wanted an audience. I got my chance at Halloween a month later.

Aunt Debbie came down for a visit and brought her daughter Janet with her. One of Aunt Debbie's old classmates came over to see her. That meant Jeff was in the house with five females. I figured that was a good time for "the unveiling" as I'd begun calling it.

Being lazy, Jeff slept late every day. This was another thing that irked me. (I'm a nurse and I have to work for a living. It really pissed me off that he was getting a free ride.) By the time he decided to get up and take a shower, it was usually around noon or later. This particular day he went into the bathroom to take his shower. Knowing he would come out wrapped only in a towel, I set it up so that everyone else would be in the hallway. I used the pretense that the cracks in the ceiling were bothering me and asking them if they thought something should be done.

While we were standing there, Jeff came out in his towel and didn't seem put off by all these women standing around. However, when that towel "mysteriously" snagged on a protruding nail exposing him in front of all these women all hell broke loose (for him, anyway).

Amid howls of laughter, he ran to his room and slammed the door. After that, he couldn't look any of us in the eye for a few days. Hey, it's not my fault there was a nail sticking out that no one noticed before! Or was it?

Not long after that, he broke his right leg in a motorcycle accident and had to have surgery to fix it. Broken leg or not, I knew that there was an opportunity here if I could just figure out what it was. It didn't take me long to figure it out.

He was laid up in the hospital bed recovering from surgery and very woozy. He would try to talk but he was so doped up on painkillers that he just mumbled a lot. I conned one of my co-workers into going in and shaving his groin area. I played it off like he might have to have another surgery and I didn't want to do it myself.

It just so happens that the woman I conned into it was a middle-aged and homely woman named Marion.

There Jeff was, totally helpless, and this beastly-looking woman came in and began to shave him. He tried to protest, but once his pain meds kicked in he was sound asleep. Marion is a no-nonsense kind of gal and very professional. When she was done, he was clean as a whistle.

Once she was finished and left, I took a moment to admire her handiwork. Then, I set my plan into motion. Two girls he was friends with had been waiting for a chance to see him and that's exactly what I had in mind...

When they came in, they were of course concerned about his leg. I very carefully lifted the sheet so that they could see his surgically-repaired leg. I also "accidentally" let them see something else, something that had been freshly shaved.

They were smiling and laughing and trying hard to pretend that they were just happy to see he was going to be all right. As they were leaving, I heard one say to the other, "Did you see what I saw?"

Mother and Aunt Debbie paid a visit and I made sure they got an eyeful, too. Some ladies from the neighborhood did, too.

At last, I felt like I had evened the score. But, it felt too good to stop...