tagIncest/TabooMy Sister, Fiona Ch. 02: Susan's Story

My Sister, Fiona Ch. 02: Susan's Story

byGrandTeton©

Some of you may have noticed that the epilogue paragraphs of My Sister Fiona were not included in the re-posting. An anonymous commentator first suggested that further stories about how the characters other than Fiona progress through life might be interesting. This is Susan's story. It's not really an incest story, though incestuous elements show up as part of the context. The story is here because it fits with My Sister Fiona and I prefer to keep series stories in one category. I'd like to think that the story works better if you read My Sister Fiona first, but it's probably not necessary.

***

It had been a pretty rough semester for me. My best friend in all the world, Fiona Hamilton, had been attacked on campus. It had been shattering for her, and we all worked really hard to pull her out of it. Mostly, we succeeded. We all threw love at her in all the ways we could, and eventually she and Josh put it all together. They announced their engagement. We could all see that coming but it was just so good to see that they had recovered that far.

Mostly succeeded, you ask? Yeah, mostly. I don't think there's any way someone could ever forget, and not be marked by, that kind of experience. Fi was always a bright, bubbly girl. Some of that brightness has dimmed. We got most of it back, though. I hope there's a special corner of hell for the people who can even think of doing something like that.

Who are we? There's me, Susan Martin. There are Fi's parents. Josh, her boyfriend, who had as much to do with Fi getting over it as much as she did as anyone else, maybe more. Ron, Fi's brother, who put almost as much into it as Josh did, and Brianna, Fi's younger sister, who worked hard, too. There was Fi's doctor, her counsellor, the people at the university, a whole host of others, all working hard at proving to her how much she was loved. It took everyone. And it worked. Mostly.

Me, I'm about five six, not bad looking, a little on the curvaceous side of svelte, with a pretty fair chest. Let's say I've never had any complaints. I think I look good in a bikini. My hair is no great hell, a dark blonde that will likely go darker as I get older, but that's why God invented chemistry.

I was kind of stuck on Ron, more so as I watched the love he had - and showed, hard for a guy - for his sister. They were a loving family.

Bree was a couple of years younger than Fi. I'd known Bree all her life, but I got to know her even better when Fi had her problem. We were sort of the day shift, Bree and I, making sure that people who loved her were always with Fiona. Bree never actually said so, but there was no question in my mind that she was deeply in love with her brother. I couldn't bring myself to object. I was, too.

It came over me gradually. I'd always thought Ron was pretty hot, but he was a little older and Fi and I had always teased him. He had a girlfriend or two, but they hadn't ever lasted very long. We once asked if he wanted us to fix him up with George Masterson, the campus queen, who was so outrageously gay, hitting on all the stereotypes perfectly, that I thought myself that he was actually hetero and using his apparent homosexuality as a lure for those women who might feel the urge to "convert" him to the true way, or at least their way. There seemed to be a lot of them, though I had no urge myself. I never actually saw George with another guy. The few truly gay guys I'd come across were no different than the rest of us, maybe a little more generous and caring, though not always, just like anyone else. Not saints and not devils, just people.

Ron reacted quite calmly, politely declining our offer. I suppose if he was truly gay, and the way he looked at his sisters suggested the contrary, he wouldn't have gone out with George on a bet. Fair enough. Neither would I.

The excuse I made to myself the first time I kissed Ron was that I was upset by what had happened to Fi and I needed to reassure myself that there were caring and kind men out there as well as vicious rapists. That was garbage, of course. I wanted to kiss Ron, to share in the love that was flowing out of him as he strove to reduce his sisters' suffering. It was obvious that Fi was suffering. It wasn't as obvious that Bree was suffering too, horribly upset at what had happened to the big sister she loved with all her heart. Ron saw that from the start. Maybe that was when I began to love him and not just lust after him.

Ron had kissed me the "morning after", which was sweet and started little tingleys inside, though probably it was only because he'd already kissed Fi goodbye and Bree goodbye and thought I'd feel left out. I probably would have felt left out. Ron cared about stuff like that. He even made a kissy mouth at Josh, who smiled and took it in stride.

Ron kissed me again that night when he came in to relieve Bree and I. He'd kissed Fi hello and Bree, too. When it came to my turn I made a real Hollywood production out of it to try to make Fi laugh, but mostly to get a little more mileage out of what was supposed to be a chaste little kiss. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. It made me feel all jittery and I didn't get to sleep until late.

"Susan, should I be feeling all hot when my brother kisses me?" Oh God, there were two of us in the same boat!

"Well, your brother is a hot guy, Bree, and maybe that's it. I get hot and bothered kissing him, too."

"You put your back into it, Susan, I saw you. It should have been a hot kiss."

"Yeah, I tried. I really like your brother. I think Ron's more than just a hot guy. He's forever stuff."

"I think so too."

I could have done without that conversation. I was just starting to have feelings for the guy and now his sister claims to be having feelings that are much the same. There wouldn't have been any problem except that I had really good feelings about Bree - nothing sexual, though there likely would have been if I'd been inclined that way - and I really couldn't do anything to hurt her. Never could. On the other hand, she was his sister. Whatever she felt for Ron couldn't go anywhere, really. There was room for me.

The next morning when Ron came in to greet us, I met him with a steaming kiss. I put everything I had into it, lip action, tongue, suction. I'm sure I gave him an erection. Fi noticed the kiss, though not the erection, and seemed to be a little shocked. Do her good to get out of herself. Bree looked more shocked. I guess she noticed the erection. Ron's parents, fortunately, didn't notice and Josh was so far out of it we could have been having sex in front of him and he'd only have tried to get out of our way. So long as he didn't have to let go of Fi's hand. Or could have, given the way she was holding onto him.

Later on, after her mom threw us all out of Fi's room (except for Bree) so Fiona could get dressed to go home, I pulled Ron around a corner of the waiting area and tried again. I proceeded to kiss him thoroughly and this time he joined in with real enthusiasm. We were soon tongue-kissing and ignoring whatever else might have been happening around us. I dropped my hand to feel his erection. Oh my.

"Thought I could do that," I muttered, almost to myself, though I'm sure he heard me. "Ron, we're going to have to see how far this can go, one day, one day soon."

Ron brushed his hand across my breasts, to find, as anyone would have expected, that my nipples were sticking out hard enough he could feel their firmness even through what passed for my bra. It felt so good to feel his strength and heat.

"Oh God, that feels good, Ron. One day very soon, very, very soon."

Fortunately, perhaps, we were interrupted when Fi came out of her room and the rest of us were drafted into getting her things home. Bree and I distributed most of the masses of flowers she'd been sent to the other patients around the floor.

I arranged to sleep with Bree at her house once Fiona was home. I suppose I excused it by telling everyone I wanted to be there for Fi, but actually I was afraid to be alone. My mother likely knew. She was pretty good about things like that. There was always time to talk to me, and no pressure to talk until I was ready. What had happened to Fi left its mark on me, too, and just then it was biting pretty deep. That first night at supper in the Hamilton home we were crammed quite tightly around the dinner table. I know I pressed against Ron from time to time, but it wasn't sexual, really. It was a way to keep reminding myself that he was there. Josh was on my other side and I wouldn't have dared touch him. He was Fi's.

Sorting out who slept with whom, with several bodies too many for the house, got to be fun. I suggested I could sleep with Ron, but his mother said it would be fine if I slept with Bree. As it eventually developed, with a little midnight wandering, both of his sisters slept with Ron and Josh and I took one of the vacant beds. We weren't really interested in each other that way, but there was a lot of comfort in having a warm and loving man in my bed, even if he wasn't mine and never would be.

I had my things so I could get out to class. I gave everyone a kiss when I left, with a little extra effort in the one I gave Ron, not too heated, this time, but with a lot of love. I hope he remembers it with pleasure.

Fi was able to go to Ron's graduation. All of us made sure that she wasn't crowded or jostled. I saw fear creep into her eyes a couple of times, but then Josh or Bree were there for her right away, and her mom and dad. There was a lot of love for Fiona. Something I hoped for in my life, too. Fiona and I had both received all our credits for the year. Josh, too, though a couple were close. Bree did very well, as might have been expected of her. She was smart.

We were into the summer. Most of us had jobs of one kind or another. I was slinging hamburgers. All of our off hours were spent over at Fiona's. I'd shed my boyfriend back when he was getting antsy about all the time I spent at the Hamiltons'. I didn't help matters any by telling him how hot Ron was. Ron didn't have a steady girlfriend at the time, and actually hadn't gone out at all since the attack. None of us had, I don't think.

I was pretty desperate the day I seduced Ron. I don't suppose it was really a seduction. I was very direct. It wasn't that I needed sex or anything like that. I do have a high libido, but I could have had that dealt with by any number of guys. I wasn't a virgin and I wasn't attached to anyone in particular and I'd been a little wild for a while. Joe Henry had made it pretty clear that he wanted me. He was handsome enough.

It was more that I was desperate for Ron, for a guy who had that much love to give a girl. Even then I was pretty sure that Ron's love was focussed elsewhere, and that it was returned. I don't know that he knew it. More to the point, I guess, is that he probably knew it but hadn't let himself know. Guys do that to themselves, you know, though I have to admit that in Ron's case there was good reason for it. He was in love with his sister.

Ron was a good guy. I kind of hoped that if he rejected his love because it was the kind of love that transgressed all of the social rules and a few more, he might focus on me. Fi wanted me as a sister, sort of, the woman attached to her brother, but she didn't recognize that Ron's eyes were elsewhere. Her problems didn't leave her a lot of room to see outside herself just then, not as much as she usually did.

One afternoon in late May Bree and Fiona were doing something up in Fi's room. Ron and I were in the rec room, trying to pick out a movie for the evening. Fi's parents were at work. For a wonder Josh was off on some kind of errand and wouldn't be back before supper, either.

I was a little down.

"Ron, do you think I'm attractive?"

"Of course, Susan, you're a most attractive young woman. If I had a little black book, you'd be on the first page."

"Oh, you're nice. You may be lying, but it's nice to hear."

"Susan, what's got into you today? You know you're an attractive woman. You look good, you've got great legs, a lovely ass, a beautiful face and a fine chest. A very fine chest indeed." He was probably trying to leer just then, but he wasn't very good at it. He's actually too honest to do a good leer. "Besides that, you're a good person and fun to be around. You've been the best friend you could be for Fiona, and you've been great to the rest of us, too. How could you think any of us would think of you as less than attractive?"

"I don't know, maybe it's just the day. I keep wishing there was someone for me the way Josh is there for Fi. They're so tight."

"I can see that."

"Ron, do you ever think you could make love to me?" I really don't know where that came from. It was right out of the blue, and serious, not just a flirtation. I suppose I was making a last opportunity to get together with the guy that I knew I loved. By now I was sure. At the same time, I was pretty sure Ron had a different love. I suppose this was the only way to find out.

"I think so, Susan. You're certainly a woman a man could enjoy making love with. For me, I'm less certain. I don't like to get too close to a woman unless I have a real regard for her. It's sort of a test run for a long-term relationship, even marriage. I'm of an age when that is a real consideration for me. I don't think it is for you, yet. I do think you are a lovely sweet person."

As a matter of fact, Ron was wrong. I was looking ahead. Ron wouldn't be just a good time.

"Ron, do you think you could pretend, just for today? I know anything between us can't go anywhere. I'm pretty sure you haven't realized it, yet, but you're for someone else, and you're committed to her, and can never be for me. I can't fight that. I need to be held today, and loved, and I want us to make love once, to give me a memory I can treasure."

I had given up. I hadn't realized until I came on to him that I really didn't have a chance anymore. Ron wasn't going to let social conventions, the law or the prophets stand in his way now. God, she was a lucky girl.

"Susan, I don't have any commitments. I think you are special, but I agree you're not for me. We don't have that extra spark I've been looking for. Maybe I'll never find it."

"You've found it, Ron, you just don't know it yet." Sure he'd found his spark. I was telling him that, maybe even giving him the confidence he needed to blow it into flame. Didn't do me any good, but I could have him at least once, for the memories.

"Please, Ron, just this once, for the sake of our friendship. Let me carry the memory with me."

"All right, Susan. You're a beautiful woman, sweet and kind. You're a good friend. We can share ourselves, and make love. I do love you, though not in the way you want."

I pushed into him and we started to kiss, two hot and horny youngsters making love. Ron was so loving. He cared for me and for my pleasure, but I didn't have all of him. I could tell there was something missing. We made love twice that afternoon, sweet and loving. We didn't have a lifetime love, but we loved each other some, for sure, in other ways, and it was a lot more than a quick roll in the hay for both of us.

"You are a wonderful guy, Ron. That was so very good. It will be a wonderful memory. I love you, dear."

"Susan, it will be a fabulous memory for me, too. I do love you, sweetheart. I wish it was the kind of love that would last forever, instead of just this once. Somewhere there's a love for me that will be forever, and somewhere there's one for you, too. Until we find them, this will be the most marvellous time ever for each of us, I think."

"You're probably right, Ron, and it was marvellous, and I thank you. Your love is closer than you think. Take your blinders off, dear. My love is farther away."

I went over for Fi as much after as before. I think Ron and I were both a little sad that the last bit to make it right for us just wasn't there. Somehow Fi knew.

"Sorry, love," she told me.

It got to be pretty obvious a few weeks later that Ron had found his connection. Fi was pretty much over her problems, or at least as over as she would ever get. She and Josh had set a date for the next May. They'd still have a year of college to go, but both families were going to help out. Brianna left to finish her degree at a different college and Ron went off to get his master's. There really wasn't much around for me, and I got lonely.

When school started Joe Henry did more than make his interest obvious. He felt me up in front of everyone when we slow danced one night. I grabbed his ass and pulled his cheeks apart, feeling him up just as obviously. I ground my hips into him so hard that if we'd been naked we'd have been screwing. Good thing they kept that dance so dark. Afterwards I wouldn't go home with him.

It had been pretty heated but there wasn't much feeling and actually not much passion. Both of us were after some kind of conquest, or maybe it was domination. I don't know.

A couple of weeks later I decided I'd like a taste of the guy for real and would give in to his pressure. I made him find us a place since I was living at home and there was no way I was dragging some kind of shagging expert in front of my parents. They may have given up on their image of sweet little me but I wouldn't push their faces into it. Joe had a shared dorm room, and if we spent the time at it that I hoped for, that wouldn't do either. Eventually he broke down and rented a motel room for the night. Horny college kids were probably their best customers.

Joe didn't make a pretense out of our assignation by treating it as a real date. He picked me up at home and we drove straight to the motel. I watched his fit body and lusted after his ass as he went in to register. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, I supposed.

"Room 27, ground floor, around back," he announced when he came back. "You're Mrs. Jones."

"I thought you'd go for Smith."

"No, I used my real name. I don't have fake ID's. I'm having an assignation with a married woman. They don't care as long as they get paid in advance."

It was kind of strange. Once we were into the motel room, Mr. Henry and Mrs. Jones, no baggage, it was pretty clear what was going to happen. That's what we were there for, of course. Since neither of us had ever done something like this before, we stood around for a couple of minutes, not too clear who should be doing what, a little embarrassed with each other, to tell the truth. The bed dominated our thinking but we couldn't bring ourselves to mention it.

I turned toward Joe, probably intending to say something to break the mood, at the same time he stepped toward me. Without speaking, perhaps without even thinking, he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. He was heated. His tongue just touched my lips and then slid along my teeth. I opened for him, heating up as the extent of his ardour made itself clear. He may not have been in love with me, but he wanted me. That was clear enough. He kissed with the fervour of a pent-up lust, his tongue now deep in my mouth. I clutched him, one hand on his shoulders and one on his bum, pulling him into me. My tongue joined in the exchange of caresses, hot and urgent and strangely gentle. He dropped his hands to my rear, spreading his fingers across that resilient surface to force us together even more tightly. I could feel the strength of his erection. He certainly knew what he wanted, what he was going to get.

We kissed until we had to breathe.

"Wow, so that's what I've been missing," he exclaimed.

"We're pretty good together, aren't we," I replied.

"Oh baby, just wait. We are going to be so good together."

He leaned in and kissed me again, or I kissed him, or we kissed each other. It was a pretty even balance of whose heart was racing, whose blood was steaming, whose clothes were too tight or too hot. Just then neither of us wanted to leave that kiss to go farther.

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