My Sister, Fiona Ch. 02: Susan's Story

"But that's not true!"

"I insist."

"Excuse me." That was a voice from the back of the bus, a tall, thin guy with a kind of studious air. He seemed to have been on the tour a couple of times before, though with four two-hour tours a day it was hard to keep everybody straight. "I'm a doctoral student at the university here, and my researches show that the guide is completely correct."

I wasn't sure if I was going to puke or not. The fat guy sat down again, grimacing, outfaced by serious credentials, an absolutely solid confidence and a male.

When the tour was over I had to thank the tall guy.

"Well, I've learned as a teacher that if you say anything with the appropriate air of confidence people tend to believe you. You seemed to have a pretty good grip on your facts."

"Thanks anyway. So tell me, what actually is your thesis topic?" I was kind of hanging on to him because he reminded me of someone, or maybe he was someone I knew. I couldn't quite place him.

He grinned, a funny little grin that meant he was sharing a joke with me.

"Early Spanish colonial policy in the New Mexico lands."

The little grin had tipped me off.

"Well, thank you, Jim." It had been a year and a half since I met him at Fi's wedding. There was no reason to expect to ever see him again. We dropped back into our little banter as if it had been yesterday. There had been nothing much more than that between us, not even a parting kiss, but he was so comfortable to be with. I told myself that it was just that he was a touch of home, and I was a touch homesick.

"Let me buy you a coffee," I offered. "There's an hour before the next tour."

"Okay." No foolishness about letting him, the dominant male, buy. Probably he was as cash strapped as I was. At least I was getting paid regularly.

Jim had the right idea about coffee. Like me, he didn't go in for fancy lattés. He probably couldn't afford them any more than I could.

"So what were you doing on the tour?"

"I'm a history nut. I like to know the history about wherever I happen to be. I took the tour the first time because I wanted to get a feel for the city. Then I took it a second time because you seemed to know an awful lot about the city's past. Then I took it a third time because it was you."

"Why'd you step in with that fat tourist?"

"Partly because I didn't want you to be pushed around by an ignoramus and partly because I didn't want the tour messed up for the rest of them." He grinned that secret little grin again. I loved it. "I'd have done the same for any pretty girl."

"Next time, I'll just tell them my boyfriend said so." His eyes got a little touch of fear before he laughed to dispel it.

"That should work."

We laughed a lot and shared some reminiscences about the wedding, and home. Jim was a couple of years older than Josh, two years and three months, I think, and he'd gone away to college, so while we knew a few of the same people and a lot of the same places. we didn't have too many memories in common.

"Have you heard from Fi and Josh?" he asked.

"No, but I'm not too sure she has my address, and we've both always been terrible correspondents."

"Mom tells me they're expecting."

"Wonderful. Do you know the due date?"

"Not really. Sometime between now and the spring I expect."

"Fat lot of good you are."

"I'm only partly here when I'm working on the thesis. It's why I can't have any serious relationships. I told you that." He had, at the wedding.

"Look, I've got to run. They're loading the next tour. Here's my number if you ever want to get together."

He didn't look like he wanted to give me his, so I ran out to get on board before they left without me. I was pleased to have seen him and a little sad that he didn't seem to want to see me again. It had been a good time, though, so I decided to accept it for that. I was pleased to hear Fi and Josh were making a baby now that they'd graduated. Jim had said that in what was for him an interesting role reversal, Fi was working for their father's company and Josh was working for Fi's dad. I didn't have Fi's current address so I sent a message to Mom asking her to pass on my congratulations and best wishes.

I had my first (and only) experience as part of a three-way a few weeks after I moved to Riverton. I'd gone out with Jerrold a couple of times, and we'd ended up in the sack at his place the second time. It had been decent sex, nothing starry, but he was an all right guy. Jerry was a couple of years younger than I was, about twenty, maybe twenty-one. He roomed with a guy, Troy or something, his age, who was out chasing his own pussy the night we got it on. Must have caught it since he never showed up and we spent a couple of hours in bed.

What happened is that Jerry and I went to a movie on the third date, but since we knew we'd end up in bed again, we slipped out on a sloppy ending and beetled off to his place. I wasn't into bringing guys home. My apartment wasn't all that big even though I managed without sharing it. Both of us were breathing a little heavy owing to some of the handiwork we'd been practising in the dark. Jerry had a fairly prominent erection and my nipples were working on driving holes in my bra, once I got it fastened again.

When we ambled into his apartment, my hand in his pants feeling up a delicious bum, and his hand in mine doing the same (it had been a bit of a job to get the door open), it turned out that his roommate was home, not out the way Jerry had told me. I wasn't all that sure later that Jerry hadn't known Troy would be home, but I didn't think it at the time. All I could think of was that I wasn't going to get laid, and by that time my pussy was wet and I was crying for it inside.

Jerry could feel my reaction (remember where his hand was) and Troy could see we weren't best pleased, me especially. Jerry at least had the presence of mind to introduce us to each other. The problem was that they only had one bedroom, which they shared. The other room had a couch, sort of, some battered monstrosity that would break your back if you tried to have sex on it, or even sleep on it, or so it seemed.

"Sorry if I'm in your way," Troy said. "My date bailed on me. Said she was called in on an emergency."

"It's all right, nothing you could do," Jerry answered. I didn't say anything.

"I can let you have the bedroom for an hour if you like." I wasn't really up to screwing Jerry with his roommate listening in, but Jerry was doing strange things with his hand, the one under my panties, and I was pretty hot. His other hand was playing with my breasts, right in front of Troy. I was too busy massaging Jerry's rump and fingering his erection to be too upset. I did notice that Troy was getting hard.

"Okay, we'll try to keep it down."

We almost ran for the bedroom. I had my slacks off and was unbuttoning my blouse almost before Jerry closed the door. He tripped on his pants as he was heading for the bed but caught himself on the dresser before our night of passion had a premature ending. His erection might have done damage to the floor that his landlord couldn't repair. Besides, I wanted the benefit of that erection, not some unfeeling floor or piece of furniture.

We squirmed onto the bed together, our naked bodies flush to each other. Jerry checked to see how wet I was and decided we'd had enough foreplay. I was pretty wet, and agreed with his decision even though my nipples felt a touch left out. He knelt between my splayed thighs and slid right in, all the way in one smooth thrust. He found a way to play with my nipples at the same time as he was kissing me and fucking me hard. I got right up on the edge, but Jerry had been too anxious and he shot his load into me before I could get off. He pulled out and I got up on hands and knees to try to get him up to finish the job. He tasted of me and of his cum, which wasn't a bad combination.

So there I was on my hands and knees, mouth and hands trying to bring Jerry back to life, when this cock slides in from behind, filling me again, deeper penetration than Jerry had managed from the front. I didn't even think about it, I was so eager for my own climax. I hadn't heard the bedroom door open and had no idea whose cock it was. All I cared about just then was that it was a warm and filling cock quite able to start me back up on the road.

As it turned out, even with Troy hammering into me from behind while he was playing with my breasts and I was bringing Jerry back to life, getting the odd feel from him, too, I couldn't quite make it over the edge before Troy fired off. It was a lovely feeling, filling up with a man's ejaculate, and it made me warm and gooey, but I was still on the edge.

It hadn't taken Troy all that long. Maybe he'd been anticipating too much, too. Fortunately Jerry had a quick recovery time, one of the reasons I'd agreed to go out with him a third time, and he pulled me down on him as soon as Troy finished. With my juices and Jerry's cum and then Troy's, it seemed to me to be getting a little sloppy in there, but actually their members pushed a lot of the extra outside, so I was getting messy but could still feel. Jerry was pushing up as I was pushing down and his fingers massaged my breasts and tweaked my nipples. I might not have gone anywhere if I hadn't been so ready from the two previous fuckings, but I came, and came hard, and I think that my muscles gripping him in the throes of my orgasm brought Jerry off, too.

After that, we switched beds since there was too much mess in Jerry's bed for us to be comfortable. This time I rode Troy while sucking off Jerry again. Jerry was coming back to life quite satisfactorily - I don't know why I thought another time with him was so necessary, but I was in a haze of sexual satisfaction with one cock banging me hard and another in my mouth and just wanted more. Troy brought me off again before he came, so I was in afterglow and just totally relaxed when Jerry had me for the third time. I wasn't thinking of anything at all, just feeling completely satisfied for the first time in ages.

We'd messed up Troy's bed, too, so when it was his turn, he bundled me over their old couch and pounded into me until he came. I probably came, too, but it's hard to tell sometimes when your neural receptors are all on overload.

"That's all for me," Jerry gasped.

"Me too," Troy panted.

I spent a little time finding my things. My panties were soaked, but that was from before we started. I tucked them into a pocket. As I was going out the door, I heard Jerry.

"Wow, man, that was awesome. We have so got to do that again." He was talking to Troy.

I wasn't all that surprised. Most men are pretty self-centred when it comes to sex. I didn't have any complaints. I was really well-satisfied. My hormones were settled and my nerves quiescent. It hadn't been about me, but then it hadn't been about them, either. Kind of empty and impersonal when you got down to it. Awesome, even so.

Was this what I was doing with my life? Sensation without feeling? That couldn't be what had to be. I'd had Ron to thank for showing me that. Maybe the next time I could find someone I'd share more with than just a sweaty body. That was what I wanted, more. Jerry and Troy had been the episode I needed to have to realize that it was up to me, not some mysterious white knight, to look for and find the kind of relationship I wanted, one in which the physical relationship wasn't all there was. I knew I'd have to work at it. Was I worthy of being loved? I thought I probably was, but I'd have to work at that, too.

Getting emails from Fi and Bree telling me how wonderful life was for them didn't help, but I suppose they fueled my resolve. The evidence was in front of me that it could be done.

How it was to be done was a more difficult question.

I seemed to be running into all sorts of variations in my relationships. I'd been going out with Ryan for three or four weeks, now, a couple of times a week, and we'd sleep with each other Friday or Saturday. It was sort of comfort food. He wasn't very good but he was undemanding. The cold had killed the tour business and I didn't have enough stamps for unemployment insurance, so I did odd jobs here and there, some paid and some not. I was clearing the leaves off Mrs. Kittelson's lawn when I first came across him.

I was moderately impressed. He had an air of confidence and looked all right. He wasn't drop dead gorgeous, but there was a certain something about him. He helped me bag the leaves, always a plus, and asked me out. I agreed. I just told Mrs. Kittelson that I was done and we went off to coffee. I'd walked over but Ryan had a car so he could get back and forth to class. He was graduating that year and would probably go into his dad's business. He seemed a little surprised that Mrs. Kittelson hadn't paid me.

"Don't you work for pay?"

"When I can get it. Mrs. Kittelson needs the job done, she doesn't have any money, I don't have anything else to do this afternoon. I get some exercise and she gets her lawn raked plus has the enjoyment of watching me work. Seems fair to me."

We had a sort of comfortable relationship, just that we had a partner when we wanted one and didn't when we wanted to be alone. I was pretty sure he went out with other women. I didn't mind. If he found someone else he fit with better he'd go off with her. I hadn't married him and I had no intention of doing so. The sex was recreational or therapeutic or something, a little proof that I wasn't alone in the world.

I hadn't known Ryan belonged to a club, sort of a fraternity but with no official presence on campus. He explained that it was a bunch of guys, eight or ten, who had been together since first year and sort of hung around together and shared everything. They had a party now and then. As a matter of fact, they were having a party Saturday night. Would I go with him? I didn't have anything else going. I might be a little tired, since Saturday seemed to be a day for odd jobs that I could do, but I'd make the effort. Ryan seemed to think that it was really important; he wanted to show his friends his new girlfriend and share with them the way they'd shared with him in the past. I could do that.

As it turned out, I couldn't do that. I was really surprised when we showed up at the club and I was the only woman there. Initially I just supposed that the others were late. I sat around talking and joking with the guys. They appeared to be good sorts. Eventually there were eight of them there, plus Ryan, and whoever acted as head clubbie or whatever they called their version of a Grand Master announced it was sharing time. Ryan had explained that the whole club was about sharing and "sharing time" was what brought them all together.

I figured sharing time was one of those tell a tall story and share an experience times, or maybe, though I didn't think it fit the moderately well off image they all projected, a time to share the wealth.

"Ryan has brought the gift for sharing tonight," the head clubbie announced. I looked at him. I couldn't see that he had anything special with him, and he didn't seem to be about to launch into a tall tale, or even a modestly true story. Truth to tell, he looked a little embarrassed. However, he stood up. It was some kind of rote piece, like a catechism.

"We are about sharing. We meet once a month or when a brother has sharing."

"Sharing brings us together and keeps us together," came the response from the room.

"Tonight I have sharing. I ask my brothers to approve my sharing." They all took a good hard look at him and then a good hard look at me. There seemed to be a little wolfishness out there. I still didn't know what was being shared, or why the quasi-religious choruses. It was getting a little creepy.

"Susan, stand up, please." Maybe I was being initiated into membership in the group, though Ryan hadn't spoken of this and as far as anyone had said it was only guys.

"Do you approve my sharing?" he asked the assembled group.

"We approve."

"Susan, do you want to take your clothes off yourself, or would you rather the group did it? It's usually much more erotic when the group does it, one piece at a time, with a caress to match from a different man every few seconds. It tends to really get the blood roiling."

"Ryan, are you trying to tell me that you are sharing me with this group? Without asking? Without telling me in advance?"

"Yes, it's my turn, so it's my girlfriend we share tonight. You'll like it."

"No, I won't, and I'm not staying." There was a low murmur among the other members of the group, but no one moved to intervene. Seems that it was up to Ryan to make sure the sacrifice was voluntary. Under other circumstances it was just possible that I might have agreed. I like to think not, but there have been times when the thought of having nine cocks one after the other and then maybe some or all of them again might really have turned me on. However, Ryan had brought me along as some kind of a goodie box to be shared out, and I wasn't having that.

"I'll be going now. I do want you all to know that among my acquaintances are some very large, very protective men. If any of you lay a hand on me, you'll regret it for the rest of your short lives."

"Sharing is to be willing," the head clubbie informed me. "Unwilling sharing is not sharing. Ryan has erred. We bid you good night." It was fairly pompous, but I heard him calling Ryan "a stupid ass", which seemed to augur well for his humanity. Me, I just got gone as fast as I could and never saw Ryan again. As I said, some girls might like that if properly prepared, or even just drunk out of their skulls. Maybe even me, if I'd been cajoled a bit. I was lonelier than I'd thought.

It bothered me for a long time that if someone had known to approach me in the right way, I might just have let that happen. That wasn't what I wanted in life. But I might have done it. That scared me.

I suppose it was a week or so before Christmas, a few days before I took some time to myself and went home for Christmas. Ron and Bree weren't going to be home this year. Fi was getting near term and might even have the baby over Christmas. I needed some family time.

When the phone rang I jumped.

"Hello?"

"Susan? It's Jim. Jim Talbot. I just broke the back of my thesis. It's all downhill from here, just revision after revision, but it's done." He sounded really happy.

"Congratulations, I guess." I supposed I should be happy for him, but Jim had made it pretty clear he wasn't interested in me, or anything except that damned thesis.

"I just wanted to share with somebody, and you're the best somebody I could think of to share this with. Can I take you out for a coffee?"

"I'm not really into guys just now, Jim."

"Some bad experiences, eh? Look, I'll get my buddy Beatrice to come along."

"If you've got her, you don't need me to celebrate with."

"Well, I promise not to make boy-girl stuff. That wasn't really what I had in mind. I really wanted a friend to share a little joy with. Beatrice is something different. I'll tell you about it. Is it all right to pick you up in half an hour, say?"

"Yeah, okay." The joy bubbling out of him was too hard to resist. Maybe Jim had been so wrapped up in his thesis that he didn't even have any other friends. I owed him a little for that business with the tour. Happiness shared is happiness increased. I could do that for Jim.

He came to the door with a small woman, both of them wrapped up against the cold. I had a parka on, too, one I'd found at the goodwill in the summer, long enough to keep my legs warm, filled with heat-saving down. I sometimes wore it in my apartment when the landlord was being especially stingy with the heat. I'd worn it to bed once and had a really good night's sleep even though the water in the glass on the window had frozen.