My Telija Ch. 03

"Vendish?" Jordan sat up, his fingers slipping through the damp ends of my hair.

"They will find him Jordan. I don't pretend to know what is going on, but my instincts lead me to believe, we have been fooled all along where your father is concerned. Do you believe after meeting Guardwin; that any son of his would just leave his mate behind? No. Jameen was a role model to our kind. He was a strong warrior yes, but his heart was bigger than any others. He longed to find his mate, to have wee ones of his own, and to think for a second that he would willingly walk away from all of that is insane.

He was my best friend Jordan. I knew him better than anyone alive and when he disappeared it took everything I had not to lose my mind. The first time I ever saw you, I broke down. You look so much like him, it's eerie, even more so as a babe. Those big teal eyes stared at me and I wondered, why? Why would he leave something so precious, so beautiful that it makes my heart ache? The answer I believe we both know to be, is that he wouldn't, not if he could help it." I swallowed back tears.

"Then why has no one gone after him before? Why did you not try to find him Ven?" Jordan grit his teeth, his grief exhausting him thoroughly.

"We did try, year after year. We looked everywhere, sent scouts all over the world, but nothing ever turned up. It was as if he vanished," I sighed, working the back of his neck in a gentle massage.

"He's back though?" He looked uneasy and I couldn't blame him.

"It would seem so" I brushed some hair off his neck, he needed to relax, he was so tense I could feel him about ready to snap. "Turn around, lean against me."

He raised a brow, but did as I told him. His back melted into my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair, starting at his forehead and sweeping it back to his neck. I took my time, rubbing the pads of my fingers against his scalp, feeling his head wobble underneath my hands as his muscles began to ease.

I lowered my hands to his neck, kneading his muscles all the way down to his shoulders. His breathing was evening out, his head went back to lie under my chin, and he shut his eyes. I took great pride in the fact that I was comforting him, being able to take care of my mate as he should be. I bent my head to the side of his neck and kissed him slowly. My kiss was tender and sensual, not aggressive.

In his state, he was not ready for what a mating truly involved, but I would give him what he needed. He needed to be loved, to know that he was important, and that his pleasure gave me pleasure.

"Will you let me touch you Telija?" I brought my hand over his shoulder, gliding it down his chest.

Jordan stretched against me like a cat and bared his neck further, allowing me access to his delicious collarbone, "Yes." It was barely a breath, but I heard his reply.

My other hand slipped around his slim waist, moving over every curve and inch of his stomach. It was flat and smooth, boyish, but not. His body was something to explore, he was a man yes, but I preferred his smaller figure to my more dominant one. Everything about him in my embrace fit perfectly as he was my other half.

His breath rushed out of him as both my hands stopped over his small pink nipples, teasing them with my larger fingers. I rubbed the hardened nubs in circles, leisurely deepening my touch into his skin until he whimpered. The water rippled as he rubbed against me, his backside working my lap intensively. Jordan had my member hard between his cheeks, trapping it between our warm bodies, surrounded by the water.

My palms lay flat, traveling to lower territory on his body, and bypassing his erection. I teased him just a little, sliding my hands up and down his thighs until he pouted with a huff. I chuckled giving his shoulder a soft kiss before he leaned back and settled down.

"I want to touch you there my love, but I don't want you angry with me for taking advantage of your grief. Never would I do such a thing and I only want to help ease your pain. Mates enjoy close contact when they are upset, because it comforts them. Do you understand?"

His small hand grabbed my own off his leg, pressing onto his erection and squeezing. My palm now held him tightly and he sighed, ending in a shudder, "I won't hate you Ven. I just...I need this right now okay? Just please..."

I kissed his neck, sucking lightly, while I started to stroke him. His member was perfect, the swollen head peaking out over my fist, disappearing as I pulled up. The tempo with my hand was unhurried, feeling him out for any sign of distress. Jordan just sat there, content and practically purring against my chest.

"Is this alright my love?" I murmured against his skin.

"So good...," He spoke softly and surprised me by draping his open legs over mine, tilting his head back over my shoulder.

Squeezing gently, I twisted my hand around his shaft, quickening my pace a little. His chest began to rise and fall faster, his slender fingers digging into my arms. What's more is his power started to manifest, the water around us glowing a clear blue with his rapture. I ground my own length into his slick backside, feeling him roll his hips back to me. He was close to bursting and was frenzied in his need for release. My own needs could be held off, because this was for my mate, for his comfort not mine.

He came with a wordless exclamation, his mouth formed in a perfect 'o'. His eyes glittered with passion and his grip on my arms released, his hands falling into the water while tiny tremors ran their course. I rubbed Jordan's arms, keeping him from slinking into the fading glow of water surrounding us.

"Telija? Are you feeling better?" I asked after some minutes had ticked by.

"Yeah, thanks," He ducked his face away from me and untangled his legs from mine. Rising out of the water, he almost tripped trying to get out the bath, in his hurry to get away from me. I will not deny that it hurt my heart. I had tried my best to make him comfortable around me, and had failed miserably.

He looked around and yanked a towel from the rack, wrapping it around himself, and fleeing from the bathroom. I sat there in the water, trying to think of what to do next, but every possible task escaped me. He didn't want me. It was only this connection we shared causing him to do so. Yes, I understood his trauma and what today had been like for him, but I couldn't shake this growing doubt inside of me.

Was there something wrong with me? Was I doing this mating incorrectly? I hung my head, watching my inky hair wisp through the water around me. Thinking of mates brought my Mother and Father to mind. They were the epitome of a perfect pair and I envied that with all my heart. I wanted to come home after my duties with the warriors to see Jordan waiting for me. I wanted to share in his growth as a Fae and be there to soothe his troubles away, but in this moment, I couldn't see it.

Everything about our beginning had been horrible for him and I couldn't blame him for not wanting a reminder of it. I was currently that reminder to him and I turned my head away from the open door to hide my unshed tears. I sighed and wiped my face, then got out of the bath. Drying myself I looked out the window, to see Fae Court Guards in place around the house. Guardwin and the others were most definitely here.

Jordan would not be up for their company tonight, but I might as well make an appearance. I needed to find out what else had happened and if there was anything I needed to do. I slipped on some black linen pants and a red tunic, slicking my hair back with a leather chord. Rummaging through my wardrobe, I came across a gold tunic that Jordan could wear to sleep in.

I walked into my bed chamber to find Jordan sitting at the table by the fire with Rosie holding a bowl out to him. Rosie, Mother bless her, was the head Dwarf of my household. Like all Dwarfs, she cared for the needs of all occupants of the house, not because they were made too, but because they loved too. It gave a Dwarf great pleasure to care for others and the entire species were very much appreciated and adored among the Fae.

Rosie tried again to push the bowl of soup across the table, her nose barely level with the wood slab. Her fiery red ringlets glinted next to the glowing hearth and her cerulean eyes shone with love for her newest house member. She was the definition of a mother hen and I bit back a smile when she put her hand on her hip and screwed up her button nose.

"Ya gots ta' eat wee one, a full belly equals a happy heart," She pushed the bowl back towards my mate, who slumped in his chair and pushed the bowl back to her.

"Oh thas' it! Ya either eat it, or I feed ya me self. I'm not about to get blamed for ya starvin' to death. What would ya mate say about that? Prolly throw me in a pit somewhere's an let the Yukah feed on me bones. I like me bones, thank ya very much." She narrowed her eyes, her loving sparkle still there, and pushed the bowl back to him.

"Fine," Jordan sighed. He picked up the spoon and slowly dipped it in the bowl. My mate turned back to Rosie. "Are you really gonna stand there and watch me eat."

"Every last bite," She nodded and climbed onto the chair next to him. "So, I think ya wonderin' what I am, yea?"

Jordan took a spoonful to his lips and closed his eyes, savoring the taste of Rosie's legendary cooking. He opened his eyes with a small grin and nodded, "I guess I just thought you were a...um...little person?"

Rosie's shrill laughter lit up the room, "Little person eh? Well that would be correct, but it ain't all I am. I'm a Dwarf and the woman of the house. So if ya ever need a thing, you let me know." She wiggled in her chair, sitting up proudly and I smiled, crossing my arms and leaning against the door.

"A Dwarf? So you're not Fae then?" Jordan took another bite of soup.

"Of course I'm Fae, silly wee one. All of us here is Fae, there is just different kinds. To say you is Fae, is like saying you were human, many types of humans, but all human. Ya understand what I'm sayin?" She smoothed her colorful patchwork skirt.

"I think so. I remember Vendish saying something about there being twelve types of Fae," He broke a piece of bread away from the loaf on the table.

"Aye, twelve in all, but a lot of mixed breeding and new lines...But that's a conversation for another time. Eat ya food and we'll get ya to bed. Ya look tired," She patted his hand with her tiny one and hopped off her chair.

"Hey Rosie?" Jordan turned in his seat and I slipped against the wall just inside the bathroom.

"Yea?"

"Can I ask you something?" His voice was hushed.

"Anything wee one."

"Do you think...I mean...Do you really believe he did it?" Jordan's voice trembled and I palmed the wall to keep from running to him.

"Does me think ya Father a muderer?" Her tone was even. "No. I don't."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. At least I wasn't the only one who felt that way. Jameen was a touchy subject to bring up in the Court and I kept my opinions to myself.

"Ya Father was a brilliant man. Kind and charitable he was, and never for a second have I thought he left because he wanted to."

"Do you think he felt her go? I mean, did it hurt him?" Jordan started to cry, I could hear it in his voice, but I stood still because he needed to talk to her. Rosie was good like that; getting others to tell her things, and making them feel at ease.

"I have no doubt that ya Father felt every last second of her passin'. Mates are connected by the soul and when one is ripped away, the other knows it. He's most likely mad with grief, but don't let that make ya mind up about him. He'd never hurt us or you."

"You need some sleep Jordan. Finish up and climb on in," I heard the rustle of my heavy covers, followed by the clink of a spoon and bowl.

"Where's Vendish?" Jordan asked.

I exhaled and grabbed the gold tunic off the counter, "Right here. I was just finishing up and finding you something to wear to bed. Here." I approached the massive bed, sticking the garment out to him awkwardly.

"Uh thanks," He gave me a funny look and slipped the tunic over his head, pulling the towel out from underneath. I turned away because he looked exsquisite in gold, and the blue embroidery brought out his eyes.

"It's nothing. Rosie...would you mind staying with Jordan while I'm gone?" I eyed her and the tiny woman rolled her eyes.

"Not a problem Vendish, don't be gone to long. It's yamate's first night and all," She scowled at me, making me very aware of the scolding I would receive later.

"He'll...uh...be fine," I didn't meet his eye, but I could see him slipping out of bed. "I have to go."

Oh Mother! I wanted to touch him so badly, to hold him in our bed, to let him sleep cuddled against me. But the truth was, he was already stressed out, and he didn't need me as much as I had hoped. I was doomed.

A hand startled me and I looked into questioning teal eyes, "Where are you going?"

I sighed, stepping a pace back from him, "I have things to attend to. The leaders are here and I am sure they'll want a word with me."

He frowned, noticing I distanced myself, and wrapped his arms around his chest, "Yeah sure. Whatever."

"Okay! What is goin on now? Ya two are mates, not whiny little babes. You are not going anywhere," She pointed a finger at me. "I'll tell the King o' Fae me self, that ya couldn't make it. So sit ya arse down and get comfortable." Her tiny hand patted the space on the other side of the bed from Jordan.

Only my closest of friends would ever dare talk to me like that, and Rosie was part of that group unfortunately. Well, maybe just in this moment it was unfortunate, for I had no escape from this awkward entrapment.

"Rosie, the King is waiting..." I tried and she rounded the bed and smacked my legs with a rag until I backed up onto the bed. Jordan started to laugh, the sound like a drug to me. I stared at him and still he giggled, until he too was propped against the intricately carved headboard.

"No more I say! Another peep Vendish and I will cut off ya hair while ya sleep. Ya understand ya foolish man?" Her accent thickening as she scolded me. I nodded, pulling the covers over my legs in protection. "Good. I'll tell Guardwin that the both of ya's was too tired to come to the table. Ah! Not a word..." She backed out of the room as I opened my mouth to respond.

She slammed the door shut and I heard her little boots run down the hall at full speed. For a small woman, she was eerily fast. I folded my hands in my lap and looked into the fire. I couldn't look at him right now. I didn't feel like being rejected in this moment. Suddenly I was not a man, a warrior, or a prince. No. I felt like I was a teenager waiting for the other boy to crush my heart and pull back from my first kiss in horror.

"What's wrong with you? You're acting weird..." Jordan whispered, he clutched the covers to him, almost as if he was embarrassed. Why would he be ashamed? I was the one who did something wrong. Didn't I? Oh...What do I do?

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was," Finally I looked at him, only to see his face hidden in his hands, his knees drawn up. See? I couldn't even say anything right! He just cried at the drop of a hat.

"I don't know what to do for you Jordan...I am so sorry that I am not what you wanted, I am sorry that you have had the worst day of your life, and I guess tomorrow you will want to move in with Guardwin at the palace. I understand now..." Sucking in a deep breath, I moved off the bed and grabbed a small blanket from the side table.

"What?" He screeched and shot up to his knees, tears wet on his face. "You're leaving me?"

"Isn't that why you are so upset? Because I touched you in your time of need? I knew I shouldn't have done it, oh Great Mother Jordan forgive me," I dropped to my knees and cried. "I am a terrible person, I have failed you my Telija!"

He scrambled off the bed, his bare legs a blur as he shot towards me. Jordan landed with a thud on his knees in front of me, his arms locking around my neck as he crawled into my lap. "You can't leave me, please. I'm sorry I ran out earlier. It's just that I'm so lost here Ven. When you made me feel the way you did, it was so much. I thought I was going to explode out of my skin and it scared me to death how much I liked it. I felt guilty that there I was getting off with you when my mother just died. You did nothing wrong, it was me, it was all me."

"Do you want to know what the worst part is?" He quivered in my lap, our eyes finally meeting. "After I thought about her death a little more, I wondered why I was so upset. Why am I mourning for someone that didn't even want to look at me, or touch me, someone who acted like I was the plague? Sure she called and gave me the rare pat on the back, but it was just to survive. Aunt Kim was more of a mother to me, than my own ever was. I am the terrible person, not you, because I'm almost relieved that she's done suffering. Never again will I have to look into her lifeless face and think...Is this all my fault? Does she even care that I'm here? Does she love me at all? So you see Vendish, it's me you do want to be with. You deserve better than me..."

~~~Jordan~~~

I was going to be sick. He looked back at me with his unnatural green eyes and I just knew that he was going to reject me. How could he not? Here I was telling him that I'm pretty sure I was glad my Mother was dead and hoping there was a small part of him that wanted to still be my mate. Yeah right Jordan. Now you're just fucking nuts. He probably had a perfect upbringing and would think all Mother's were worthy of love. Mine though had had her very soul sucked away from her, resulting in the neglect of her own child.

It was selfish of me to say such things, but it was the way I felt, and people grieve in different ways. Honestly, I would be more upset if he told me to leave him, than about my Mother passing. This bond between us pulled me to him in ways that I couldn't understand and I knew with certainty that if I left, I might as well just throw myself off a cliff. Love was not on the menu right now, there was no way I could commit myself with those words yet, but it was pretty clear we belonged together.

The fact that I had made the Prince of Fae cry, broke me inside, and I felt my new friends slithering to the surface. My skin was hot and my body shook, the emotions rising to the forefront. Maybe that was what triggered my other half, anger, or sadness...Something brought them out, and I needed to figure it out fast before I accidentally pulled some voodoo power out on Ven. That was the last thing I needed right now.

"You don't want to leave?" He gulped, a large hand palming the small of my back.

Sweat broke out on my forehead and my hands ached to roam his body, to feel his heart beat so it would calm my own, "No. Please don't go Ven. I need you here with me. I can't do this on my own."

"Telija..." He pulled my face to his and kissed me. It wasn't sweet or gentle. It was full of fire, sending heat throughout my entire body. Vendish pulled my body tight against his when I opened my mouth to let him in. His tongue lapped at mine, sucking it into his mouth, before letting me take over. I craved him something fierce, tasting him for all he was worth, letting his all natural sugary flavor roll across my taste buds. His hands gripped me harder, making sure I didn't escape, while his mouth made love to mine.

My back felt cool, almost wet, a fine mist spraying from all directions, but I didn't care about that now. My powers would have to wait, because Vendish was all I wanted in this moment. He made me feel better, my heart ached less, the void being filled with his arms around me. Someone cared for me, he cared so much, that he cried because he touched me. I made him feel like a failure, worthless, and it was time I made up for that. He had done nothing but guide me softly all day, taking into account all my needs, and protecting me from everything he could. I just wanted him near me, forever?