My Transgender Neighbor

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"No, I just didn't know about Julie," I said thoughtfully.

"Oh, maybe it really is a church thing. Shouldn't have given her a hard time for it, then," Carter grimaced. "So what is your excuse then?"

"You know that bill they just passed? About transgender bathroom use?" I said. I'd been working myself up to the explanation before. I'd been afraid of giving it, actually. But once I started talking it came out easily enough. I explained how I disapproved of the legislation and was going to join the protest in front of the governor's mansion in the hopes he would veto it. Once I finished I watched his face. I wouldn't be surprised if he went on some kind of conservative tirade. I braced myself for it.

"I never figured you for the political type," he shrugged. "Seems like a good cause."

"Really? I'm kind of surprised you'd say that," I let out a deep breath.

"What the hell for? I'm a life-long Libertarian!" he announced proudly, and I just laughed. "What's so damned funny?"

"Zero taxes and zero discrimination, is that it?" I said when I finally got control of my chuckles.

"Damn right! The government needs to get its dumb ass out of the economy AND our private lives!" he said emphatically. I didn't quite agree with him on the economic part of it, but I wasn't about to get into a political argument with my boss, especially not when he just proved to be so chill about social issues.

"I knew I liked working for you for a reason," I said instead. It never hurt to kiss the boss's ass from time to time.

"What got you so motivated about this issue? I don't think you've ever asked for time off for a protest before."

"Uh," I mumbled. I hadn't expected that question. He had surprised me a couple of times already today, so I decided to go for it. "My next door neighbor is transgender. She's a good friend and I wanted to show my support."

"No shit?" he nodded thoughtfully.

"She's a really good person, and this new law is just plain hate. It makes me mad."

"The Christian Right," he rolled his eyes. "They couldn't win the fight against the gays and now they're looking for a new target."

"Something like that," I agreed. "Anyway, I'd better get going, she's supposed to be picking me up."

"She's coming here?" he perked up. "Is she a looker?"

"What?" The surprises just kept coming that day. "Yeah, she's pretty," was all I could manage.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" He stood up and grabbed me by the arm. I just sort of stumbled along as he hauled me out his door and down the hall to the main reception area. Sure enough, Caroline was there waiting for me.

"Hey, Mike!" she exclaimed happily in that wonderfully sexy, husky, deep voice of hers. She was dressed casually for the protest, in just jean shorts and sleeveless pink tee shirt. Her long, tanned legs were on full display, and the tee looked ready to rip around her more-than-generous bosom. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore only a hint of make up. She was stunning, and Carter squeezed my arm so hard I thought he'd leave his fingerprints on my skin even through my suit.

"Hey, Caroline!" I smiled back. I had to jerk my arm away from my boss to go over and give her a hug. She was just wearing her running shoes and wasn't taller than me like she was when she wore heels. It was a bit disappointing, but I couldn't blame her, not if we were going to be pacing the sidewalk all afternoon.

"Aren't you going to introduce me?" Carter inserted himself. He was a few inches shorter than me, shorter than Caroline too, not to mention twenty years older than either of us. He held out a hand and she shook it gracefully.

"Caroline, this my boss, William Carter," I nearly rolled my eyes. My boss was practically drooling.

"Nice to meet you, Mister Carter. Mike has told me a lot about you," Caroline smirked.

"Good things?" he shot me a dirty look.

"Mostly what a hard-ass you are," she giggled.

"Hey!" I protested. I liked Caroline a lot, but damn if I wanted her to get me in trouble with my boss! Or get me fired.

"And I was just starting to get to like you," Carter growled at me.

"Relax you two!" she laughed. "Mike has a lot of respect for you, that's obvious, Mister Carter."

"Call me Bill," he said. His hands cupped hers but she gracefully pulled it free.

"Sure, Bill, and it really was nice to meet you, but Mike and I need to get going," she said politely and grabbed my hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze and my heart jumped into my throat.

"I understand," Carter smiled and shook his head ruefully. "You two crazy kids have fun and give the governor what for, eh?"

"Oh he isn't going to know what hit him!" Caroline laughed.

"Mike, just a quick word," Carter said and tugged on my sleeve. Caroline nodded at me indulgently and I let my boss pull me back out of the lobby to the hall.

"What's up, Mister Carter?" I asked quietly.

"Are you two an item?" he asked me, his voice hushed.

"I.." I chewed my lower lip. "Yeah, kinda."

"What about Julie?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.

"She...well, she won't, you know. Not until we get married," I explained quickly.

"I didn't think I'd hired an idiot when you came on board," he snorted. "You figure out what, and who, you really want or I'm going to snatch that hot blonde away from you before you can blink twice," he said decisively. Carter was nothing if not decisive.

"Okay," I gulped. He made a grumpy sound and marched back to his office. I knew it wasn't right, to be dating one girl and having sex with another on the side, but I never expected to have to explain myself to my boss! I stood there for a minute, thinking. I loved Juile. I loved everything about her. Even her old-fashioned commitment to chastity was kind of endearing. I needed to end things with Caroline. It wasn't fair to string her along.

"What's wrong? Is Bill making you stay?" Caroline asked when I shuffled back into the lobby.

"No, just thinking," I said.

"Hey, we've got to get a move on," she said, and took my hand again. I couldn't do it, not then anyway. At any rate, the bathroom bill was bullshit. Even if I wasn't fucking Caroline three or four times a week, I'd still be against it. Hopefully afterwards I could let her down easy. And hopefully we could still be friends. That was important.

"Yeah, sorry! Let's go!" I said, and smiled as best I could.

* * * * *

"Oh shit, here they come," Caroline said, her voice tight. We'd barely been at the protest for ten minutes before three huge white buses had rolled by, each filled to capacity. Around us the trans-men and women and about a hundred supporters like me stopped shouting and looked south. A veritable herd of angry counter-protesters were marching toward us up the sidewalk and into the street. They brandished hateful signs and held up bibles as they started to shout.

I made sure I had a firm grip on Caroline's hand before I raised my sign and began to shout back at them. The mob swarmed us, pushing us together into a tight little knot. Only a handful of police had showed up for our rather modest and peaceful protest. The men in blue were nearly overwhelmed. They shouted at the church-goers to pull back.

The next half hour was kind of a blur. I shouted my voice hoarse as over and over again the hateful counter-protesters screamed at us. Finally more police showed up, as well as dozens of news crews, and thankfully, the LGBT groups mobilized the gays and lesbians and their allies to come to our defense. By the time the police finally got us organized into two clumps separated by portable, waist-high steel barriers and about two dozen men and women in uniform, our side had turned the tide in terms of numbers.

We chanted "End Hate!" and "Equal Rights for All!" until the church group finally seemed to loose its nerve. Love and acceptance seemed to be winning out over fear and hate. The whole time I didn't leave Caroline's side. She wasn't my transgender neighbor. She was a human being, and my friend.

"I think we're getting through," she shouted in my ear as a large group of the protesters broke off from the main group and started moving back toward the park where the buses were parked.

"Yeah!" I agreed. She looked up at me with a huge grin. I gave her shoulders a squeeze.

About two hours later, one of the reporters came over to our group and we huddled around to hear the petite Asian woman deliver the news.

"The governor has issued a statement just five minutes ago," she told us. She was speaking into her mic and the cameras were rolling. The tension was crazy. Trans men and women pressed in tight around me. Nobody made as sound.

"He's said that due to public outcry against the Bill 307, the so-called Bathroom Freedom Bill, he'll veto unless provisions protecting equal access to all citizens of the sate were guaranteed-" the poor woman barely was able to finish her sentence before everyone erupted in cheers.

"We did it!" I shouted happily. Caroline gave me a tight hug, looking up at me with tears in her huge blue eyes. I hugged her back before we both joined in the exultant screaming and sign-waving that ensued. It seemed to take the life out of the counter-protesters, and even more of them gave up the fight, shouting hateful epithets over their shoulders as they left.

"Should we get out of here?" Caroline stood on her tip toes to yell in my ear.

"Already?" I asked.

"Our work here is done and I want to get drunk!" she laughed.

"Let's go!" I smiled and hand in hand, we freed ourselves from the group. There were only a dozen or so anti-trans folks left, but we had to pass by them on our way back to Caroline's car.

"Keep the perverts out of our bathrooms!" a shrill woman shouted over my shoulder. Her voice was so high it almost made my ears bleed.

"Oh can it..." I said wearily and stopped dead. The woman's face was twisted in rage, but her eyes were wide and frozen in shock. The "God Hates Trans" sign fell from her hands onto the sidewalk.

"MIKE?" she screamed at me. The pretty little woman shook with rage. She was still wearing the conservative brown skirt suit she'd worn to work, but her long brown hair had come loose from its bun. Her face, which normally seemed so pretty, was red and blotched. She was as enraged as she was shocked. She wasn't the only one.

"Julie? What the fuck are you doing here with these assholes?" I demanded. I knew she was into her church...but not this!

"I'm standing up for decency!" she said, so full of self-righteous judgment that she almost stank of it. "These freaks need to realize they aren't wanted here, or anywhere good people live!"

"What the fuck?" I stood there, staring. It was like I'd never seen her before. I knew she was religious, but I never expected her to be so full of hate. It was clear she didn't just disapprove of transgender people, she hated them to her core.

"THIS is your girlfriend?" Caroline asked from my side. Her hand slipped from mine. I don't blame her, really.

"You know these...people?" Julie asked me. You couldn't miss the contempt in the way she said the word people. As if they weren't really people at all. I didn't dignify Julie's question with an answer. Instead I turned to Caroline to give her her answer.

"Not any more," I declared.

"I know you think you're doing the right thing, Mike," Julie said in that prim little way she did when she talked about Jesus. "But condoning sin plays into the Devil's hands. Do you really want all these people and more to go to Hell?"

"You..." I struggled with the right words. "Are fucking warped!"

"Please Mike! I don't want you to go to Hell, either!" she pleaded with me.

"Don't worry. If there is a God, he's not a hateful cunt like your friends here," I said. "I hope one day you wake up. And grow up."

"Grow up? You are a sinner Michael! God will judge you and you will burn!" she said. Her eyes were huge with zeal. I'd never seen anyone as ugly in all my life.

"I can't believe I used to think you were beautiful," is all I said. Caroline had taken a few steps back. She had her arms crossed over her chest and she stared down at the church folk while they did the same. "I'm so sorry," I said.

"Not your fault, Mike," she said tightly.

"Let's get out of here," I suggested. She only nodded, and the two of us walked back to her car in silence.

* * * * *

"So, are you still mad at me?" I asked as I climbed up the wooden steps to the landing between our apartments. Caroline stood at the top, leaning against the rail, apparently lost in thought. She hadn't spoken a word as she'd driven me back to my office to pick up my car.

"No," she said with a sigh. "It's not your fault your girlfriend is a bigot." She still looked more than a little angry. I had to tread carefully.

"Ex-girlfriend," I amended as I reached the top of the steps. "I had no idea she felt that way about things. I've been trying to avoid the subject of religion with her."

"I'd say smart, but it bit you in the ass, didn't it?" she chuckled despite herself.

"I'm used to that. I've always been an idiot with women. I should have just been dating you all along," I said truthfully.

"Don't. I'm not a consolation prize," she said tightly.

"Yeah," I winced. "I know you're not. You're more than that to me."

"Sure," she said flatly.

"Don't you believe me?"

"I really don't know. I should have never slept with you," she said again. "I just got caught up in the moment and you were horny. I took advantage of you."

"I wouldn't say that," I chuckled. "Sure I was horny and kind of desperate-"

"Thanks a lot!" she said sarcastically, but I could tell that it had hurt her.

"That's not what I meant!"

"Sure you'll fuck a tranny when you're desperate, but if your precious Julie had put out you wouldn't have given me the time of day!"

"Caroline," I started, but I couldn't deny it, really. If Julie and I had had a normal relationship, there is no way I would have risked that to cheat with Caroline.

"No, shut up! I don't want to talk about this any more!" she said, her voice cracking. She pushed herself away from the rail and made toward her apartment door.

"Caroline, I'm sorry!" I followed her, but all I got was her door slamming in my face. I stood there and stared at it. After about ten minutes I gave up hope that she'd open the door and let me explain myself. The distance between our apartments, a mere ten feet, had never seemed so vast. I tried watching TV, but even the news and their story of the governor's veto and our protest didn't cheer me up. When they played the footage of it and I saw myself waving and equality sign proudly in the air I turned off the TV in disgust.

"What the hell am I going to do?" I asked the black TV screen. I waited for almost an hour, but it didn't have any answers for me. My stomach suddenly offered it's own advice, growling loud enough I wouldn't have been surprised if Caroline had heard it over in her place. It was after eight and I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. I pulled out my phone and ordered a pizza, extra cheese, sausage, and olives, just like Caroline liked.

When I knocked on her door forty minutes later, I came armed with a huge New York style pie and a cold six pack of her favorite beer. On the third knock I saw the blinds open on the little window beside her door. She narrowed her eyes at me, but a moment later she opened up.

"I thought you might be hungry," I said. The smell of the pizza was driving me crazy.

"Yeah. I am, actually," she admitted. Her nose was practically twitching.

"I want to explain a few things to you," I said.

"Am I going to like what I hear?" she crossed her arms over her chest and arched an eyebrow at me.

"Probably not," I said. "But I owe you the truth."

"At least you're honest. I'll listen, but the price is that pizza and beer," she said with a little smirk.

"What, you're not even going to share?" I pouted a little.

"Of course, but if you piss me off and I kick you out in five minutes I'm keeping all of it!" she vowed, and stepped aside to let me in.

"I'll take what I can get," I mumbled as I followed her inside. She got us a couple of plates and napkins while I threw the pizza onto her coffee table and took a seat on her couch.

"That's the problem isn't it?" she said as she sat down at the other end. She looked at me carefully as she pulled out a slice and took a big bite.

"What do you mean?" I said. I was too hungry to say more, and stuffed my face with half a slice.

"I mean," she gulped her first bite down, then had another, before replying. "I mean just that. Sleeping with me was you taking what you could get, when you couldn't get what you really wanted."

"I seem to recall you putting the moves on me when I first met," I reminded her.

"I liked you," she blushed.

"And when I came over that night, the first night we made love, you didn't kick me out," I added.

"I was kind of hoping you'd break up with Julie after that," she said sadly. "Why didn't you?" Tears were in her eyes again, and she was barely keeping it together. I'd never felt like more of an asshole in all my life.

"If you want the honest answer it was because I was scared," I said.

"Of being called gay or something?" she asked derisively.

"Yes. And scared that I'd be making the wrong choice. I loved Julie for a long, long time. If I dumped her just to get laid..."

"So you'd rather just keeping fucking me on the side like your personal sex toy?" she rejoined.

"That was wrong of me," I admitted. "I just really enjoy spending time with you, Caroline."

"Even if we're just hanging out eating pizza and watching football?"

"Even then," I agreed. "But the sex is pretty awesome too," I chuckled.

"So I'm what, your fuck-buddy, then?" her chin came up. Even with the little bit of orange grease from the pizza dripping over her chin, she was gorgeous.

"Yeah, it worked out that way," I said. "But why would someone like you want to date someone like me?"

"Why wouldn't a trans woman want to date you?" she threw the crust of her slice back into the box, her hand shaking in rage. "We trans women can't date straight men?"

"Huh? That's not what I meant at all!" I raised my hands in defense. "I meant why would a girl as smart and beautiful and, let's face it, as fucking perfect as you want a date a loser like me?"

"What?" she gasped. "You're not a loser!"

"I don't know. It took me two years to get one date with a girl," I said bitterly. "I had to wear down her resistance."

"Jesus, you're not serious are you?" she crossed her arms again and shot me a suspicious look.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I guess I have doubts sometimes."

"Well cut that shit out. You're good-looking and a hell of a nice guy. But insecurity is a huge fucking turn off!" she declared. She popped open a can of beer and drained half of it before tearing into another slice of pizza. I ate and drank, numb, as I mulled over what she'd said. She'd been after me since that night I'd found her tossing out one of her dates wearing only her underwear. Did she really want me? I felt like she was out of my league.

"So you think I'm handsome?" I asked.

"You know you are," she said around a mouthful of pizza.

"You think I'm hot," I pressed, smiling a little. My pride was swelling, and it wasn't the only thing.

"Don't push it, bub," she winked

"Oh don't lie to me!" I drained my beer and slammed the empty can down onto the coffee table. "I remember you ripping off my clothes like you couldn't wait to see me naked."

"I was horny," she blushed, and set her beer down. She turned on the couch, facing me and pulling her bare feet under her bottom.

"Yes you were. And you sucked my cock like you were going to die if you didn't get it all in your mouth," I added.