My Uncovered Secrets

I believe most people could understand that a dreadful experience in their youth could create a deep and lasting influence on the ability to express their sexuality. Fewer would believe that those scars could be remedied by an unplanned event, and result in a dramatic improvement in self esteem. This is a story that details just such an event, and hopefully provides a wee bit of interest while doing so. Please bear with me through some of the initial background, because unless you understand the circumstances, it is difficult to comprehend the changes that occurred. My mind opened to the beauty of nudity, the diversity of body types, and I realized that sex really was meant to be exciting and lovely.

To give a little background, I grew up in the outskirts of a northern Midwest City in a relatively conservative middle class family. I think that most people would have considered this to be a pretty normal childhood. I was always quite active and participated in sports such as cross-country, soccer, and was even on the cheerleading squad for my high school. I realize now that I may have been somewhat sheltered in my experience with boys at the time. I had a number of dates, but never had gone beyond some "feeling through the clothes".

I won't go into details, but through no fault of my own, an incident occurred that caused me to fully loose confidence in myself, and feel that nudity and sex were wrong. While I had been eighteen at the time, my first experience with a boy had been very unsatisfactory, and I felt used and ashamed. I was so withdrawn after that incident, I was known as "Frosty" during the final months of my senior year in high school. At the time, wearing a two piece bathing suit would have been impossible, much less anything "sexy". After finishing high school, I went on to a well known college in the upper Midwest.

When I began my studies in college, I thoroughly enjoyed my classes, but still was having trouble dealing with guys. My roommates told me that I was unusually cute, but my self confidence was near zero. While I had a number of guys ask me out on dates, I just couldn't relax, and always felt that they were really just trying to get into my clothes. When I look back at photos from that time, I think that I probably wore the most conservative dress of anyone on campus.

Finally my life began to change. I happened to meet a guy named Ben in my music composition class. We talked several times before he ever even suggested that we have a cup of coffee together. He was a couple years older, and definitely had the looks that made every girl in the room take notice, yet he did not even seem to give the slightest hint that his motives were anything but one of being friendly. He exuded self-confidence, something that at the time I was completely lacking. He was taking the music class simply for interest, as he was finishing school in some exotic computer related major.

What began as a simple acquaintance, gradually developed into a friendship, and I put the first tiny amount of trust in a guy that I had for years. I suddenly began to have fun. We went to football games, took walks, and would have late night pizza. He had not immediately gone for my pants, and eventually I even explained to him what had happened to me. I even found myself yearning to be hugged and cuddled by him.

Ben was not your usual guy. I later learned that he had initially been a star swimmer on a collegiate team at another university. After a year, his interest in swimming had diminished, and he was unsure of his plans to continue school. He happened to take a course in computer science where the professor identified that he had a very rare talent in a very complicated area. Ben had a unique ability to break complicated cipher codes of intricate computer programming. When it became apparent how good Ben was in this developing area, a few calls were made and he was later offered a scholarship to the highly competitive university where we met, studying in a very special program.

While I was finishing my college degree, Ben completed some post-graduate work. We were married soon after my graduation. Ben began working as an independent consultant to several large software and internet security companies. I was working as a consultant to several advertising companies writing "jingles" or finding appropriate music for the advertisements. Most of Ben's work was done from of our home or office computer, but occasionally he would have to travel for some time for specific jobs. It was only much later that I learned a limited amount about a relationship with a company that he would only name as "Blue Eagle". He said that most of the information regarding them was top secret, but if they called, he had to leave whatever he was doing in order to concentrate on that project. He would sometimes be gone for up to a couple weeks with very little notice. Now that I have filled you in on this background, I think that I can finally begin to relate some of the more interesting details.

Ben had been out of town on several important jobs recently, and we were looking forward to some together time. While I considered our sex life as good, I will admit that my previous experience made it difficult to fully relax and let go. It would seem that when we were intimate, there was still some hesitancy on my part. Ben was extremely understanding and more than tolerant of my feelings. Looking back, I still dressed very conservatively, particularly for a woman with a good figure.

Then a special call came. I knew it was something important because Ben took the call in his study. I could hear him getting some details. He later mentioned that he was glad that the other party understood that he would be more productive if he was able to spend some down time with me. He said that he would ask me to come, but regardless of the answer, Ben would be on the special flight tomorrow night.

A few minutes later Ben asked me if I would be interested in going on a special trip with him. This trip would involve going to an unknown location for up to two weeks, but all information about it would need to be kept secret from friends, family and work. He would see me when he was not working, but it would likely be in at a rather isolated site. He did mention that it would be warm and sunny, which made it sound wonderful in the midst of a Minnesota winter. I had little time to pack, but he told me just to throw a swim suit, shirt, shorts, and a few basics in a bag because there would be few people to meet and no one to tell about it.

The next evening we were driving to the airport when I realized that we were not going to the usual commercial site, but instead had gone to a smaller private airport. When we arrived, a small unmarked Lear jet was waiting and the crew brought us on board. Soon we took off into the night, not knowing exactly where we were heading. Ben and I were the only initial passengers, and he briefly explained that we would be going to a remote military base where he would be working with a few special experts on breaking some highly sensitive intelligence gained from some captured computer equipment. He told me that the recent trips he made had been very stressful for many of the members of this team. Thus, in the interest of retaining key members of this select crew, the organizers had decided that this time spouses would be invited under the guarantee of complete secrecy.

About this time, our plane landed. Another couple came on board, and introduced themselves as Peter and Kate. I was guessing that we were in California at the time, but the sky remained dark outside the plane. We refueled, and were soon airborne again. After a short while, one of the crew brought back some snacks, drinks, and blankets, while telling us that we still had about a six hour flight remaining. When the plane landed, it was still somewhat dark. Emerging from the air conditioned plane, I could feel warm tropical air and hear the ocean in the distance. What a change from February weather in the Midwest!

We were driven to a relatively remote area of the base, and brought to an area that looked to be a group of condo type buildings surrounding a swimming pool, patio, and beautiful tropical plants. Each couple had a three room suite. Ben briefly spoke to the arrival agent, and was told that he would need to report in about four hours for the beginning of his sessions. I was told that a breakfast buffet would be delivered in the morning to the community area of quarters. I would then be able to meet some of the other spouses. We were instructed however, that since this was a top secret project, we could not leave the area or call to our homes in order in insure its complete secrecy.

Ben told me to sleep as late as I wanted, and then to enjoy meeting some of the other participants. He said that he would call me later in the day to let me know what time to expect him that evening. We both dropped off to sleep, and when I awakened, it was actually afternoon. After cleaning up, I went down to the community area, where I found a delightful buffet of salads, fruit, and sandwich meats. I ate some lunch, and was later joined by Kate. We found that other than an early morning delivery of food, our area was isolated from all outsiders, making the area exceptionally private.

We discussed the beauty of the location and were able to get to know each other better. Kate and I also introduced ourselves to several other ladies. Eva was a very distinguished appearing woman that appeared to be in her late thirties. She informed us that she now lived in the United Kingdom. She had spent considerable time in Belgium while growing up, as her father's business was headquartered there. The others included Megan, Keiko, and Greta.

Megan, from Australia, was young and very fit appearing. Keiko was Japanese, and spoke somewhat limited English. She was rather shy, but obviously wanted to be included in the group. The ladies also told me of the final member of the group named Greta, who had originally lived in Denmark but was married to an American. She had apparently already gone to her room, still adjusting to the time change.

It turned out that most of the others had arrived a day earlier, and had already spent some time by the pool. Kate said that she would love to meet me for a late afternoon swim, and we decided to meet at the pool in thirty minutes. I went back to our suite, changed into my old black conservative swimsuit, and walked down to meet her. Before I left, I took a brief look at myself in the mirror and realized the swimsuit was rather dowdy, but it was all that I had available.

When Kate joined me, I could see a bit of bewilderment in her eyes as she looked at my outfit. She was wearing a bikini that showed her nicely proportioned body. Kate was a bit taller than I, and was what I would guess a medium "B" cup, with slightly wider hips. While not extraordinary, she looked very good in her outfit, and would have turned a few heads at the beach. I was well aware of a slightly awkward feeling, and I mentioned that when we had to leave from Minnesota under urgent circumstances, I had not been able to find anything except this old swimsuit. She later smiled and offered to loan me a bikini so that I could get some sun and be more comfortable tomorrow.

That evening, Ben came back looking absolutely exhausted. Certainly he was jet lagged, but it was obvious that he had also had been working very hard. We literally ate, and lay down on the bed to talk about the day's events. Before I could even tell him about the day, he was fast asleep.

I was not sleepy yet, so I decided to try on the bikini before going to bed. I went into the bathroom so that I wouldn't disturb him and pulled out the suit that Kate had loaned me. I stripped off my clothes, and began to pull it on. It was a typical triangular cupped top with a string side-closing bottom, which actually allowed me to adjust for the differences in our body size. I am a 34 C, so when I put the top on, there was some noticeably exposed cleavage. The bottom showed my flat abdomen, and accentuated the roundness of my buttocks. When I looked in the mirror, the image was one that made me feel a little proud of my shape and not ashamed to show off to the ladies. I went to bed thinking that maybe I would be able to show off a bit, yet still be in a very safe environment.

The next morning when I awakened, Ben had already gone to work on the project. He left me a note stating that he hoped that I would have a great day relaxing, and that he was looking forward to spending some intimate time with me tonight. I went down and happened to meet Kate for breakfast, and we made arrangements to go to the pool later in the morning. After I put on my "loaner" bikini, I took a quick peek at myself before going down to the pool. I honestly felt good about the way that I looked.

When I arrived at the pool, I took my things over to a lounge where I saw Kate had dropped some of her accessories. I pulled my long t-shirt cover-up off and sat down to begin putting some sunscreen on.

"Wow, you clean up pretty good", I heard Kate say as she walked up from behind me. "The suit really looks like it was made for you, and certainly beats that black blanket you were wearing yesterday". I smiled and thanked her for the compliment.

Eva soon arrived, and put some of her things a few feet away. She was wearing a robe like cover, and with her back to me, she loosened it and placed it with some towels. Then she turned and walked over to talk to us. My eyes opened wide in shock, as she was topless, and had minimal evidence of tan lines. As she strolled over, her 38 D breasts lightly bounced and swayed, her sizable nipples protruding. She stood very comfortably in front of us wearing just a black monokini bottom. We were conversing when I saw that Megan had also come to the pool area. Just as casually, Megan doffed her cover showing that she was also topless, and had an even briefer bottom. Her body was petite, but had the well toned musculature of a trained athlete. Her breasts were certainly no more than a B cup, but they suited her trim body perfectly.

Eva and Megan later walked back to their lounges which were far enough away that Kate and I could speak without being overheard. I could tell that Kate was certainly aware of the subtle suggestion for removing our tops. I had never considered going topless in public before, given my prior background.

Finally, Kate broke the silence, and spoke. "I guess the European influence makes it a bit more acceptable to be that way. I've done it in my backyard a few times, but have never been topless in public. I guess this may be the place to try it, huh? After all, it's just a group of women." With that, she reached behind her and unsnapped the clasp of her top and tossed it in a pile near her feet. I looked over at her very white breasts, and noticed that her nipples were quite erect. She gave me a look like "you're up next", but instead I rolled over on my stomach. That tactic would give me a minute to think about it.

A few minutes later, Kate asked me if I would like her to put some sunscreen on my back so that I wouldn't burn. I handed her the sunscreen, and she began rubbing it into my back and thighs. As she got close to my shoulder blades, she untied the string closures on my top and continued to rub the lotion into my skin. When she was finished, she returned to her chaise lounge and began to rub the sunscreen into her pale breasts. I understood the hint, but it also allowed me some time to get my nerve up, or tie my top back up if I decided not to join the group.

After a while, I took a deep breath and rolled back over. My C-cup breasts now came out for display. I saw Kate look over at my chest and smile. I got out the sunscreen and slowly began rubbing it into my soft breasts just like it was something that I did all the time. My breasts have what Ben calls "puffies", unusually prominent areola surrounding the nipples that become erect rather easily. In response to the gentle massage of lotion into my breasts, the nipples responded by jutting out even further. I blushed as I saw Kate glancing over my way. Finally, I just closed my eyes and pretended to relax. In reality, I felt a tingle in my crotch as I knew I was exposing myself as I had never before done.

As lunchtime neared, Eva came over and invited us to join them. Keiko had also come to the pool area, and seeing that all the women had removed their tops, she slipped hers off also. She had small breasts, probably only an A cup, and her nipples were a darker pigmentation standing out on her cream colored skin. She sat down eagerly trying to be a member of the group.

After lunch, which was "done topless", we swam, sunned, and conversed. In fact, it was one of the most relaxing times that I had experienced in years. Without staring, I did enjoy looking at the variety of breast shapes, sizes and nipple types on the women. At least in my experience, it was a rare opportunity to casually look at naked women, and I finally understood the beauty of the unclothed figure. Eventually the group began to break up to go back to our rooms.

Just before we split up, Greta walked down and introduced herself to the group. She was a rather stunning blond with blue eyes that could be seen from some distance. Looking at the relaxed near-naked group, she apologized for not having been able to join us, but she said that she had not been feeling well. She then said that she hoped that we would be able to include her tomorrow. I put my t-shirt on, not even bothering with the swimsuit top and walked the short distance back to my room. When I checked for messages, I found that Ben had called to say that he would meet me for a light dinner in about two hours.

In the room, I pulled off the t-shirt and took a quick glance at myself as I stood in front of the mirror. Gradually I slipped off the bottoms, now staring at my naked figure. I had a noticeable tan line from the day's sun, further accentuating the small amount of covering I had worn. Looking at myself, I had the first real positive feeling about my body being attractive and sexy I had felt since my terrible experience. I could hardly wait for Ben to look at me and make love to me. I felt a tingling in my groin, and when I felt myself, I noticed that I was very moist. Probably because of my earlier experience, masturbating is a relatively infrequent event for me, but I began to stroke my labia with gusto, eventually ending with a satisfying orgasm.

When Ben arrived, he seemed tired but upbeat about making some progress in his work. We had a glass of wine and ate some wonderful curried chicken and salad, and then I sent him off to take a shower. I told him briefly how much I had enjoyed meeting some of the women today, but had not yet mentioned going topless. While he was showering, I told him that when he finished he could apply some moisturizer to my skin. When he emerged from the bathroom, he simply had a towel wrapped around him. I had taken my top off, and stood with my back to him. I was purposefully just wearing a pair of running shorts while facing away from him and slowly combing my shoulder length dark blond hair. When I knew I had his full attention, I slipped my shorts off before turning around so that he would get the full effect of the tan line on my butt.

I heard a low whistle, and knew that I had his attention. Smiling, I turned around so that he could see my slightly tanned breasts and the pale area of skin that framed my light brown triangle of pubic hair. I thought that his eyes would practically pop out, not to mention the bulge that had formed under his towel.

"You went topless?" he exclaimed, still looking awe struck.

"You aren't angry with me, are you?" I replied. With that I walked over to him and loosened his towel so that his erection was fully exposed. "I mean, all of the ladies were that way, so I wanted to be part of the group".