Myka's Tail Ch. 03

"I'll always dance with you," Kelli whispered in reply as we moved into the other's arms and began slowly swaying to the mellow sounds of another crooning saxophone.

It didn't take long before a lot of other couples were out on the floor with us, but Kelli and I let ourselves get lost in our togetherness. I always loved being able to just tune out everyone else but Kelli when we danced, and it is times like these that make up some of my fondest memories. One song led into another, and then another, and while I was happy to stay here with her, I looked over Kelli's shoulder back to our group and I was surprised beyond belief by what I saw. Ali, Jaz, and Matt were sitting at the table, talking quietly amongst themselves, but it was Jessica that really captured my attention.

She was staring at us with an intensity that I could almost feel from across the room, and the only word I could use to describe the look that I saw on her face was longing. I wasn't sure why I had noticed this now, but I knew that, as sure as I was standing here with Kelli, that I needed to go to Jessica.

"Hey babe," I whispered to Kelli as the current song we were dancing to was coming to a close. "Can you do me a favor and ask Ali to dance with you for the next couple?"

"I'm not sure she feels that way about us sweetie," Kelli replied in some confusion. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure, but Jessica needs me right now."

Kelli looked me in the eyes for a moment, and then looked over at Jessica, before she nodded and dragged me back to the table. Once there she went over, and to much protestation, dragged a mightily blushing Ali out onto the dance floor. I went to Jessica and did practically the same thing.

"Come on Jessica," I said as I pulled her up from her seat. "Come dance with me."

"What?!? What are you doing," she asked in a panic as I continued to drag her out so we could dance.

"I want to dance with you silly, so we're going out to dance," I insisted, and with the extra strength I had from my Neko side Jessica really stood no chance of pulling away. "Come on, it will be fun."

Jessica continued to hesitate as we finally got to a clear area to dance, but once there I spun around and pulled her into my arms and began moving to the music. She had finally resigned herself to my insistence that we dance together, but her movements and her posture were stiff and uncomfortable. I wondered for a moment if I had taken things a little too far, but my instincts pushed me relentlessly onward. I took a moment to glance over at Kelli and Ali while I thought about what I should do next, and my mind was made up for me.

"Hey," I said, and indicated the other pair with a nod of my head. "Take a look at them. It might seem strange, but my girlfriend is dancing with one of her girl friends. The world isn't ending."

"I know, but..." Jessica replied in a near whisper, and I finally felt her shoulders sag a bit in acceptance.

"But nothing. You're my friend, and you looked like you needed a dance."

And with that, she completely relaxed into my arms and laid her head on my shoulder while we moved in a slow swaying rhythm to the music. I kept silent for a few minutes so that Jessica would feel completely at ease, and then I turned my head and whispered in her ear.

"I saw you sitting over there and the look you were giving Kelli and I was pretty intense. What's wrong?"

Jessica mumbled something that I couldn't quite make out, and the tremble in her body was telling me that she was trying not to cry. What surprised me was the near overwhelming desire to bring her comfort that washed over me in a gentle wave, and I pulled her tighter against me.

"Listen Jessica, no one will hear you out here on the dance floor," I whispered. "Just turn your head and quietly tell me so that I can hear what you said."

Jessica then took a deep shuddering breath before whispering back, "I saw you both dancing there together and I realized that I want that."

She pulled back away from me for just a moment, and I realized from the look of horror on her face that she had not expected to say what she had. Just in case, I decided to hold her a bit tighter so she could not bolt.

"I'm so sorry," Jessica gasped, the mortification in her voice as clear as day. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Actually, you should have," I replied. "But why would you..."

And the sudden realization of why she wanted what Kelli and I had interrupted my thoughts completely. I silently thanked whatever power it was that had given me such insight and then I used our dance to steer Jessica over to a part of the floor with far fewer dancers.

"Ok. I'm going to talk for just a bit, and I want you to just answer with a nod or shake of your head, got it," and Jessica nodded to me in understanding.

"You didn't want what Kelli and I had because you specifically found one of us attractive. You wanted it because you find women in general attractive, right?"

Jessica hesitated for a moment, but then sighed and nodded her head in answer to my question.

"Have you always known you liked women," and she shook her head right before she buried her face in my shoulder and started to shake with barely repressed sobs. "You just realized it when you saw Kelli and me a while ago. Damn."

So I held Jessica tight and let her cry and vent all of the frustrated emotions that she must have been feeling while we finished up the dance. After the song was over I took her by the hand and led her gently towards the lady's room so that we could get her cleaned up. As we passed by our table I gave out a warning glare and a shake of my head to the other girls to let them know I had things in hand, as Jessica and I entered the bathroom. I took a seat on the counter and allowed her to clean up her face and feel presentable again before I took her hand.

"Listen, I have some understanding of how confused you are right now. When I kissed Kelli on New Year's and suddenly realized that I might be in love with my best friend, it was like downshifting one extra gear. Total surprise."

"Yeah, that is pretty much what it felt like out there," Jessica laughed, but I could still hear the tears in her voice. "I just don't know where this came from."

"Let me ask something. Have you dated boys, or men?"

"Well, yes. I've had a couple of steady boyfriends in high school, and I did date some during college," she affirmed.

"Ok. No delicate way to say this, but I can assume you have had sex with some of them," and Jessica again indicated that she had. "Now think. Really think about this. How was the intimate side of those relationships? I'm guessing you actually liked some of the men you dated, but did you have sex because you thought that you should? That it was the logical next step?"

The look on Jessica's face at that point told me all that I needed to know, but I knew that she needed to come to this conclusion herself. I watched as she placed her hands on the counter and hung her head in thought, her face scrunched up in concentration as her brain tried to catch up to her heart. I stayed silent, but placed my hand over hers in support.

"Looking back on things, I guess it was pretty clear. I loved some of the guys I was with as companions, I loved being with them. A couple of my boyfriends I was with because I felt I needed a boyfriend. They could have been anyone."

Jessica paused for a moment and wiped her eyes again, and I just nodded to her to let her know I was still listening.

"And you're right. Sex was something that I did because I expected it. Sometimes it felt good, but no better than if I spent a night alone with my fingers. I don't even know that I have ever really been so absolutely attracted to someone that I was consumed by irresistible lust for them, and god do I want to experience that. When I saw you two dancing there I just... I realized that I wanted to be there on that floor, dancing with someone I was in love with, body and soul, and now I just don't know what to do."

"That's easy silly," I replied and I pulled Jessica into a warm and comforting hug. "You go out, you find people you are attracted to, you go on dates, and the rest will work itself out. It's a pretty simple solution in theory. Damned hard in reality."

Jessica laughed at my answer and I felt good that my gifts had helped lead her to a somewhat better place, mentally and emotionally.

"God, Myka, I wouldn't even know where to start," she complained in a slightly joking manner, though it was clear she still wanted to cry. "I mean, I've never even been on a date with a woman. And do I start telling people that I'm gay now, or do I keep things secret? And what the fuck am I supposed to tell my parents?"

"Right now, choose carefully who you tell. You have to come to grips with it first, at least a little bit. Don't stack the possible misunderstanding, hate, and whatever else you will probably get from others in with your own feelings of confusion and doubt. It will only make you feel worse, and will hurt a lot more in the long run."

Jessica nodded her head and had to wipe a few more tears from her eyes, but I had more to say so I just gripped her hands and barreled on.

"It took Kelli and I a couple of weeks before we could comfortably engage in some of the little PDAs we often take for granted. Holding hands, heads on shoulders, the occasional peck on the lips or the cheek. It was Valentine's before we told our parents, and Kelli practically forced me to do that. Granted, we resolved things pretty quickly, but there were other factors at work that I may tell you about sometime, but time is your friend right now."

"How do I know who to tell, and when to tell," she asked with an innocent sincerity. "And where do I go to find out how to date a woman? God, it's like high school sex-ed all over again."

Jessica's comment about high school sent us both into a fit of giggles for a moment, and my instincts told me that she was going to be alright. I just had one other thing to do.

"For starters, I would tell Paul. And tell him sooner rather than later. Your brother is a complete gentleman and from what I saw when you talked with him a bit ago, he loves you to death. He will not only understand, but he will support you even if it means walking over hot coals and melted razor blades in bare feet."

"Yeah, he would. And you're right, I will probably tell him sooner than later."

"As for your parents, that will have to happen eventually. They are family and if you keep family in the dark too long then feelings will get hurt," and Jessica quietly acknowledged that I was right about this too. "But get right with yourself first before you drag them into it, then you can tell them from a position of strength."

"Yes ma'am," she affirmed and giggled at my irritated stare. I was not by any means a ma'am damnit.

"Now dating a woman; that is going to take practice, and it just so happens we have the perfect opportunity."

"You are not setting me up on a blind date Myka, not right now damnit," and my eyes widened with shock for a moment before I laughed away her suggestion.

"No," I giggled. "I'm not setting you up on a blind date. I'm setting you up with me. What are you doing tomorrow?"

The blank look on Jessica's face that slowly melted into a look of confusion before it morphed into a mask of angry determination nearly made me howl with laughter. I realized she didn't think I was serious.

"I'm can't go out with you. You're already with Kelli for god's sake," she nearly yelled.

"Why not," I responded with an overly confident nonchalance. "I am not interested in you romantically, and going on a date with me would be great practice with absolutely no downsides. We will have a wonderful time, you will see what it is like to be out with a woman, and Kelli will be free to go out with Paul, because she is dying to get to know him."

"Wait, what do you..." she began, and I could see the confusion settle in on her once again.

"Look Jessica, I am going to tell you some things and you need to keep an open mind to hear them. Can you do that?"

She nodded to me that she could, and I placed my hand on the side of her face so that her attention was completely on me.

"I can't go into all of the details, because that would just be dirty porno creepy, and because some of it involved Paul, and that would be his story to tell, not mine."

I paused to let that sink in, and then I took a deep breath and continued on with my story.

"Like I said out there a while ago, I did not realize that I was or could be in love with Kelli until midnight on New Year's. I was taken completely by surprise. But she had some friends she needed to say hi to, and I wanted to dance some so we split up for a couple hours."

"I found Paul there in the basement of your house, and he had been treated quite badly by a couple of, well I'll just say it, a couple of heartless bitches, and the same intuition that let me know I needed to talk to you tonight told me to talk to him. You still with me?"

She had moved to sit beside me on the counter and we held hands because both of us felt the need for mutual support.

"So, Paul and I talked, we danced, and he was a perfect gentleman. I restored his faith that there were women out there that could appreciate a nice guy, and he restored my faith that there were still good guys out there that could appreciate everything a girl had to offer, not just her tits and ass."

"I made it clear to him that I was not seeking a long term relationship, but that I did find him attractive, and we completely enjoyed the short time we had together. My feelings told me that I had helped pull Paul back from an emotional brink that would have crushed him, and left him a much lesser man, and I was thrilled that I could do that for him."

"So you two..." and Jessica's questioning face made me laugh yet again.

"Yes, we..." I replied in jest before continuing. "But that is not what was important. A few days later, as Kelli and I talked about our relationship we came to some conclusions. These were due to some things that I can't and won't explain right now, but that are related to what I am."

I indicated my ears and my tail for her so that my message would be clear, and then I rolled on with my impromptu bathroom confession.

"For whatever reason, there will be other people in my life that I will feel compelled to bring to my bed, other than Kelli. She knows this, and we both understand that they may share my body with her, but they will never have all of my heart. That is hers and hers alone. I think Paul is one of those I needed to be shared with."

"Hearing you say that is confusing as hell," Jessica replied, while shaking her head. "But strange as it is, when you say it, it makes a weird kind of sense."

"It does make sense, and I can assure you that even though it makes perfect sense, I am still bat-shit crazy."

The laughter was coming more frequently between us, and I could see the beginnings of a bond forming between Jessica and me. Like Ali, this was a bond of friendship rather than romance, and my heart soared with joy for my new friend.

"So Kelli and I came to a rather unconventional decision. When it was possible, I would share any extra bedmates I brought into our relationship. And that brings us to tomorrow."

"I think I see where this is going," she said, and jumped down to wash her face one more time. "So tomorrow I go out with you, for practice only right?"

"Yes, for practice only. Though I think we will hold hands and do other things that people who are attracted to each other do on a first date. And if you are good, you might get a good night kiss."

"And Paul will be going out with Kelli?"

I nodded to her before replying with a grin, "I hope so, but if he does, my guess is he won't make it home until sometime the next morning."

The shocked look on her face gave way to another fit of giggling and we both took a few more minutes so that Jessica could look presentable.

"And in that case, he most certainly will have had a goodnight kiss, or five," and both of us lost control and laughed out loud. "Now we better get out there before they send in the rescue squad to find us. Plus we can't miss your brother's second set. He seemed to think it was going to be spectacular."

Jessica was finally presentable, and was also in a much better state of mind as we made our way back to our group. I slid in next to Kelli, and put my arm around her, kissing her soundly just because I could, before I leaned over and leaned my head against hers.

"Jessica and I are going out on a date tomorrow," I whispered to her, and I was surprised that all I got from Kelli was a raised eyebrow. "You're ok with this? Before I tell you why?"

"First off sweetie, I saw how she looked at us just before you had us switch up dance partners, and even I could tell that something was up. I also felt your concern as you took her to the bathroom to freshen up. I figured that she might be somewhat confused, and unlike us, did not have the benefit of some well-placed magic to help things along."

"Is this going to be a sexual thing," Kelli asked after a moment's pause. "Or is my instinct that she just needs a push to get her heart and mind looking for the same thing what is going on?"

"Yeah, the latter is about the long and short of it. I'm not attracted to her like that, and I am not getting a feeling that she needs that kind of relationship with me, or us really. So it's just a date, to practice dating. The good news is you get to take Paul out tomorrow, if he wants to go," and I giggled a bit at the almost sinister grin that appeared on Kelli's face.

"You're right. That is something that I am looking forward to," she replied, and then her face took on a somewhat more serious look. "Are you sure you are ok with me doing that?"

I didn't answer Kelli right away, and I let my mind recall all of the talking she and I had done right after New Year's. We had talked about what my being the Aspect of Love would mean for us, and how we would deal with it. We both came to the conclusion that a complete sharing of everyone I would eventually get involved with was the only way to make things work. It was the most logical and elegant solution that we could come up with, but there is definitely a difference between theory and practice.

Now that we were rapidly approaching the practice part, I had to think on things for a minute before I could answer her. No matter how I looked at it, however, Kelli going on a date with Paul, and most likely taking him to bed, was more than ok with me. Just like going out with Jessica for her to practice felt right, so did both of us taking this next step with Paul.

"Yes," I answered, with a conviction that I now felt both intellectually and emotionally. "I can't explain it, but it feels right. And you should have a marvelous time both in and out of bed. Though I hope that you both will save some for me for after I get back."

I almost lost control at the shocked look on Kelli's face, and we both laughed together, realizing a new level of comfort and understanding in our growing relationship. We probably would have continued on with our little discussion if the lights in the Tavern hadn't chosen to dim at that moment. It appeared as if Paul and his group's second set was about to start so Kelli and I settled down and got ready for act two.

The bar didn't bother to announce the group this time, but let them just break into the first number of the second set, and as before, the mellow sounds had everyone there swaying to the music in no time. Yet again, I was impressed with how good these guys were even though they had only been playing together for a short time.

I had a warm feeling inside as I listened to the flow and movement of their music, and I was glad that the budding instincts and powers involved in my transformation had led me to Paul, and had pushed me to give him advice about being his own person. The beauty that was on display tonight was all their work, but I was content knowing that I had a small hand in moving them to this path.