Naked Celebrities for Nude Day

"What's so hard to believe, Kanye, I not only write my own songs but also I sing my own lyrics," said Taylor in defense of her winning the Grammy Award. "There's not a country western singer that hasn't asked me to write a song for them. They all know that I'm talented and am worthy of the Grammy. Why was that so hard for you to understand?"

"It was a crappy thing to do," said Lady Gaga. "If you did that to me, Kanye, I'd kick you in the balls."

"He doesn't have any balls," said Miley Cyrus.

"I have balls," said Kanye. "Wanna see them?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Show us your balls, then, if you have a set," said Cristina Aguilera. "I dare you. I double dare you. Go ahead, show us your balls, Kanye."

"I'll show you my balls, if you show me your tits."

"You wanna see my tits?" Cristina looked from Kanye to her big boobs and back to Kanye. Being that it's Nude Day," said Cristina lowering her gown to waist high, "I'll show you my tits, but you'd better be a man and show me your balls, after I show you my breasts."

As soon as Cristina exposed her big boobs, Kanye stood, unzip himself, and released his cock and balls from his pants to show everyone seated at the table his package. Then, he reached over and grabbed a handful of Cristina Aguilera's breast.

"Hey, Kanye," she said with a laugh. "My tits aren't a Grammy Award that you're grabbing but my breasts," she said pulling away from his grope, while laughing.

"They both feel the same to me, very hard and cold," said Kanye with a laugh and an insensitive shrug, after making a derogatory comment about Cristina's silicone breasts and feeling a handful.

"Too bad we can't say the same about your cock," said Cristina making all the ladies laugh at Kanye. "Definitely not very hard, your cock is small and soft. How do you fuck anything with that little thing. Doesn't it just fall out of the hole?"

"Maybe my cock would fall out of your canyon sized pussy, Christina, but I've had no complaints about me satisfying women."

"You need to grow a set," said Adele. "My little Yorkshire terrier has a bigger cock than you do."

"I think he has a cute, little cock," said Fergie reaching out her hand to grab a handful of Kanye's cock.

"Hey, give me a turn," said Taylor, leaning over to take Kanye's cock in her hand, in the way that he grabbed the Grammy from her. Then, when she leaned forward to take his cock in her mouth, he reached down her gown to cup her small breast and finger her hard nipple.

"This is supposed to be about world hunger and not about sex," said Katy Perry with a shock and offended look.

"I guess we're all starving for sex," said Christina. "Give me some of that cock, Kanye."

The next table over sat Jessica Simpson with Britney Spears, Khloe and Kim Kardashian, Justin Bieber, Paris Hilton, Rhiana, Chris Brown, and Lindsay Lohan.

"Just wondering," said Justin. "How many of you ladies are wearing panties?"

"Panties? Why do you ask?" Chris Brown looked at Justin, as if he was a pervert. "Do you have a panty fetish?" Chris looked at Justin and summed him up with a stare. "Are you wearing panties, Justin?" He shot Justin a look, as if he was going to shot him. "You look like a little pervert to me. Are you a little perv, Justin?"

"Yeah, I wear panties sometimes. So?" Justin puffed out his chest, as if he was normal and almost proud of wearing panties. "Depending on my creative mood, the silky material of panty gets my juices flowing. Wearing panties helps me to think," he said with a laugh, while taking a nervous sip of his drink. "What's wrong with that? I don't see anything wrong with that. A lot of men wear panties. Right?"

Ignoring his panty confession, no one answered him.

"I never wear panties," said Britney.

"Panties leave an ugly panty line. I never wear them either," said Kim.

"Me neither," said Khloe. Panties make me feel so restrictive, especially, when my man is ready to take me. I'd rather he'd just lift up my skirt and bend me over than have to fool with taking off my panty, too."

"I don't wear panties, unless I'm wearing pants and/or have my period," said Paris.

"I'm not wearing panties now, but I usually do. Panties make me feel sexy," said Rhiana.

"Whore," said Chris Brown under his breath.

"What did you just call me?" Rhiana looked hard at Chris Brown. "Did you just call me a whore?"

"Do you mean did I call you a whore, after you made the nude video of yourself and posted it on YouTube or because you reported me to the police for keeping you, as my woman, in her place," said Chris.

"Your woman? You don't own me, Chris. My bodyguard is right outside the door," she said motioning to the door, "and I have a taser in my purse. I'll fry your ignorant, black ass, if you say another derogatory thing about me. You can't hurt me no more. I'm no longer afraid of you."

"I never posted a nude video of myself, Chris," said Lindsay Lohan rubbing his thigh. "Now that I'm clean and sober, I'm a good girl," she said wetting her lips with her tongue, while reaching her hand up to feel Chris's cock through his pants.

"You'd fuck a pole if someone gave you enough drugs," said Chris. "Besides, you'd rather be licking on Rhiana than sucking on me."

"Probably, no doubt, and sadly, I would," said Lindsay moving her hand away from the bulge in his pants and looking at Rhiana with sadness.

The next table over sat Jay Z with his wife, Beyonce, Ice T with his wife, Coco, Snoop Dog, Jennifer Hudson, Cee Lo Green with his rented white cat, and Janet Jackson.

"Hey, Ice," said Snoop Dog. "What size bra does your woman wear?" Snoop Dog leered at Coco's massive tits down her open top. "Damn, those tits are huge."

"Don't be offending my woman and disrespecting me like that, Dog. I'll bust a cap in your ass," said Ice. "Besides, Coco is sitting right next to you. Ask her yourself, if you dare, but don't be surprised if she busts you one in the nose for being out of line."

"I meant no offense, Ice," said Snoop, while reaching behind Coco to feel her huge backside, without anyone seeing his hand and without anyone knowing he was feeling Coco's huge ass but for Coco.

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to Coco," said Ice.

"My apologies Coco, but I'm never seen tits as big as your tits. Besides, if you weren't looking for someone to comment on what you're wearing or, in your case, not wearing, and all that you're showing, you'd wear a sweatshirt, instead of that low cut gown that shows so much of your wonderful womanhood." Snoop paused before speaking again. He wiggled around in his chair, as if he was chair dancing before his rapping. "Are they real? Can I have a feel?"

"You have a point there, Dog. Coco should be knowing what's up, if she's showing her pups," said Ice suddenly rapping with Snoop Dog. "Give Dog a feel of your big boobs, Coco, to show him that they're real."

"He's already been feeling my ass, Ice, to see if that's real, too," said Coco with a laugh, while looking from her husband to Snoop. "Maybe if I pass some gas, he won't think my ass is such a big deal," laughed Coco trying join in the sudden rap fest.

"Dog, you're a dirty dog, but I'm gonna do you a solid," he said whispering to his wife. "Do a brother a favor and pull one of your boobs out, Coco, for him to touch."

"Being that it's Nude Day and in the spirit of getting naked, you have ten seconds, Snoop," said Coco reaching inside her gown and flopping out one of her big knockers.

"Ten seconds? Ain't no brother that can properly feel a tit in no ten seconds, that is, unless you were sucking on my cock," said Snoop.

"I'm not going to suck your cock, Snoop," said Coco with a nervous little laugh, while turning to her husband. "Ice, Snoop wants me to suck his cock, while he feels my breast."

"Sure, that will be okay, Coco," said Ice, "so long as he doesn't cum in your mouth and so long as I can watch. Don't you be shooting your love juice in my wife's mouth, Snoop. I mean that," said Ice pointing his index finger at Snoop Dog, as if it was a loaded gun. "I don't mind her sucking on you a little bit, but that's as far as it goes. If you have the urge to cum, pull your cock out of Coco's mouth and grab a napkin or grab a hold of Lindsay Lohan, Brittney Spears, or Kim Kardashian over there. They'll blow you. They've blown everyone. Besides, Lindsay looks like she can use some protein."

"Okay, Ice. Thanks," he said bumping fists with his brother from another mother.

"Wait. Hold on," said Coco shooting her man a suspiciously jealous look "How do you know that Paris Hilton, Brittney Spears, and Kim Kardashian blows everyone?"

"That's common knowledge, Coco," said Ice slow to answer with a sudden look of nervousness. "Everyone knows those three women are ho's."

"Have they blown you, too?"

"Listen, Coco, I'm not going to lie to you. It was a few years ago and I was drunk. I didn't--"

"You didn't what? You didn't know your cock was in their mouths and they were sucking on you?" She looked from her husband to Snoop Dog. "Take out your cock, Snoop, and I'll suck you now that my husband has confessed to cheating on me with those three cunts," said Coco.

Snoop released his package and as soon as he did, Coco leaned her head in Snoop's lap to take him in her mouth. With her hand around his cock and his hand feeling her big boob, she was sucking him, really sucking him, now.

"Let me know, when you're going to cum, Snoop," said Coco removing Dog's cock from her mouth long enough to speak. "I don't want you cumming in my mouth."

"Don't worry, Coco. I promise not to cum in your mouth. Just suck. Don't talk."

With a heavy hand pressing her dyed blonde, pretty head down, within just a matter of minutes, Snoop unloaded a huge amount of cum in Coco's mouth and she spit all that he gave her in her napkin and tossed it under the next table over. Not knowing that Coco had just blown Snoop Dog and that Coco had spit his huge volume of cum in her napkin, when Cameron Diaz reached down to grab her lipstick from her purse, she found the discarded napkin of Snoop Dog's cum. As if in a remake of 'There's Something About Mary', Cameron thought Snoop's love juice was hair gel.

"Ooh, just what I need. Hair gel," said Cameron scooping the cum up in her hand and wiping it through her hair.

"Thank you, Coco, for letting me to feel your tit, while giving me a blowjob and allowing me to cum in your mouth," said Snoop, the last part in a whisper, while still grabbing her massive ass and touching, feeling, fondling, and caressing her massive breast and fingering her big nipple.

"That's enough, Snoop. You're giving my ass and breast rashes by rubbing on them like that," she said looking down at her breast.

"You're a lucky man, Ice, a lucky man to have a woman like her. She's a great little cocksucker."

"Thanks, Dog. Coming from anyone but you, I'd be insulted but with all the women you've been with, you know a good cocksucker, when you have one sucking your cock. That compliment means a lot to me."

The next table over sat Gene Simmons with his wife, Shannon Tweed, Stevie Nicks, Steven Tyler, Mick Jagger, Elton John, David Bowie, and Stevie Wonder. A table full of aging rock stars, all horny men with two hot blondes, one could only imagine their conversation.

"What kind of car do you drive, Elton?" Gene Simmons waited for the aging rock star to finish chewing his food to answer him.

"I have quite a few cars, actually, but my favorite cars are the old English cars, Rolls, Bentley, Aston Martins, and Jaguar. Proper cars they were, before they were taken over by VW, BMW, and Ford. Now, they're all a plastic mess, I'm afraid."

"Ice T has a couple of Bentley's and a Rolls," said Gene. "And Kim Kardashian just bought her boyfriend, Kanye West, a $750,000 Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4."

"I still cherish my older handmade, hand crafted cars, before they gave way to mass production and were ruined by VW, BMW, and Ford," said Elton.

I agree that the new ones aren't nearly the same and don't have close to the handmade level they once had," said Ice T leaning in his chair to be a part of the car conversation at the next table. "What they lose in quality and craftsmanship, they gain in speed and technology. I just love cars."

"Aston Martin's are my favorite cars," said Mick Jagger. "I've been driving one, since the '60's. Even though they're owned by Ford now, I still think, even the new ones, are a proper English car, that is, except for some of the cheap hardware they mix and match from their other less expensive models."

"The Americans have always been stingy penny pinchers putting quantity over quality. German cars, Porsches, Audis, and Mercedes are my weakness," said David Bowie" Iman loves her little custom made Audi TT."

"Where is Iman?" Shannon looked at David with curiosity. "Is she here?"

"She's on a photo shoot in South Africa," said David. "Actually, her photo shoot ties into this movie, somewhat. Because she's so thin, they are using her as the African spokesperson for world hunger."

"How nice," said Stevie Nicks.

"What about you, Gene? What kind of car do you drive," said Steven Tyler.

"Even though I own a lot of cars, they're just transportation for me. I'm usually driven around in a limousine, instead of driving myself. When I must drive, I drive whichever car my family leaves me," he said with a laugh. "I do have a particular fondness for my Ranger Rovers, not that I've ever gone off road in a vehicle, but they are the perfect truck for going anywhere in any weather."

"I like driving the Rolls Royce that Oprah bought me for appearing on her show," said Stevie Wonder. "Now, that's a beautiful car, even if it was made in Germany by VW."

"Ditto that about the Rolls," said Ice. "I just bought a white one. I love the thing. It rides better than my Bentleys."

"No offense, Stevie, but how can you drive? You're blind," said Gene Simmons waving his hand across Stevie's sunglasses, "aren't you?"

"I had a custom race track built for me. The walls are all cushioned and we mounted special fabricated cushions around the car. My co-driver grabs the wheel, if I head for the wall," said Stevie. "Besides, much like Al Pucino, when he made that movie, Scent of a Woman, and played blind, Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade, he drove that Ferrari through the streets with the help of his co-pilot. I don't have to see where I'm going to drive. I can literally feel my way around the track, especially when driving my Ferrari 458, it has such wonderful road feel."

The next table over sat Bruce Willis and his date, Ashton Kutcher and his date, Demi Moore and her date, and David and Victoria Beckham. No one was talking, not even about world hunger, that is, until Victoria Beckham spoke, after having seen some of the African models leaving the sound stage.

"Do I look fat in this dress?" She looked from the bone thin models to emaciated looking Demi Moore for her opinion.

"Fat? A pound away from being an Auschwitz prisoner, you're a literal bone, Victoria. I wish I were as thin as you are. You make me feel fat," she said looking at Victoria with jealousy. "That dress looks, as if it was made for you," said Demi to Victoria, before turning to Ashton. "Do I look fat in this dress?"

"Fat? You look sexy," said Ashton reaching beneath the table and under her dress to grab a handful of Demi's naked pussy.

"Thank you, but after comparing myself to some of the malnourished people I've seen here tonight, I feel fat, especially when comparing myself to Victoria," said Demi.

Ashton looked from Demi to Victoria and studied her. Always so rudely outspoken, always freely insulting people, never able to think before blurting out his stupidity, he appeared as if he wanted to say something to Victoria. For the first time, by the look of consternation on his face, obviously, he wrestled with his thoughts and then he said what he was thinking anyway.

"You're not anorexic," said Ashton, "are you?"

"Anorexic? No, I'm English," said Victoria.

"No, what I meant was--"

"Please don't educate her," said David leaning into Ashton to say in a hushed whisper. "I like keeping her in the dark about such things. Young, dumb, and full of my cum," he said in a laugh. "In such an unaware state of mind, her eyes are closed to all of my sordid indiscretions."

"I see," said Ashton rolling his eyes. "I need to get you two on Punked," he said with a laugh.

Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal, Mike Tyson, Michael Jordan, the Williams sisters, Venus and Serena, and Danica Patrick and her husband, physical therapist, Paul Edward Hospenthal, all sat at the next table.

"Don't touch me. I despise you. You sicken me," said Danica recoiling from his touch, when her husband put his arm around her shoulder. "Please go sit at another table. I saw a table in the corner filled with young women under the age of 18-years-old, where you can sit and inappropriately touch them."

"Very funny, Danica," said her husband. "I told you that I didn't have sex with that 16-year-old girl."

"Yeah, well, with you being 46-years-old and with me just turning 30-years-old, now that the world knows your preference for underage woman, I wonder if I'm actually too old for you. My psychiatrist told me the reason why I agreed to do commercials for the web site, Go Daddy, is only because of the name. Apparently, I'm still searching for my Daddy, which is, obviously, why I married you, a dirty, old man."

"Do you want me to take him out, Danica," said Mike Tyson. "'Cause I can take him out with one punch," said Iron Mike staring at her husband, as if he wanted to kill him.

"Thank you, Mike, I know you can take him out with one punch, but no thank you."

"I need some air," she said winking and nodding her head at Mike Tyson, while making eyes with Michael Jordon.

Both men escorted Danica outside to the balcony. Tyson sat on a bench, while Danica, with her ass in the air, leaned forward unzipped him, pulled out his cock, and started stroking him, before sucking him. Better than the blowjob she gave Mario Andretti and Roger Penske, Danica was sucking Mike Tyson's cock, as if he had the power to put her in an Indy car.

"Just wanting to be in the spirit of things, I'd never do this, if it wasn't Nude Day," she said to Mike Tyson, as she continued sucking him, while Michael Jordan raised her evening gown, pulled down her panties, and took her from behind.

Maybe it was because of John Travolta laundering his dirty laundry with George Clooney, or Katie Holmes outing Cameron Diaz's affair with her husband, but there was suddenly an atmosphere of angry sexuality in the room. Certainly, it didn't help matters, when Christina Aguilera exposed her breasts to Kanye West, and Taylor Swift groped his cock, before sucking him. It only made matters worse, when Coco blew Snoop Dog in public, after her husband, Ice, confessed his brief affair with Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Kim Kardashian. Perhaps, Danica Patrick sucking Mike Tyson and fucking Michael Jordan was the last straw. Yet, whatever it was, the subject matter of the film changed from a documentary of world hunger to a pornographic film about celebrities having a sexual orgy. Every table had some kind of sexual interaction happening.

"I still love you, Brad," said Jennifer Aniston, while kissing and kissing him. When he started feeling her breasts and fingering her nipples, she unzipped him, pulled out his cock, and started giving him a hand job, before she fell to her knees between his legs to give him a blowjob. "I'm not a frigid bitch, anymore, Brad," she said removing his cock from her mouth to speak, before sucking him again. "And you can cum in my mouth. I swallow now," she said looking up at her ex-husband.

Paying no never mind to what her husband was doing with Jennifer, Angelina had sexual thoughts of her own.