Naked In the Snowbyurbanslut©
This is a completely true story without any exaggerations or embellishments. And I guess the only reason I am sharing it here is, today I drove along the interstate, right past the spot where this happened some years back. I have told it to a few friends and ex-lovers who always get a kick out of the story. And it does not have any information that could identify me, so why the heck not? I have changed some minor details for what they call "plausible deniability", just in case.
Anyway, most of you must have read my story Naked Delhi Daredevilry. Without going into too much personal detail, let me say that the story has a small autobiographical element to it. I have a thing for taking risks related to being naked outdoors. There are some personal episodes related to that obsession of mine, and its repercussions which will go to the grave with me. But this episode is, well, fairly benign.
A few years ago, I was in the United States on one of my many work-related trips. The month was December. I had a bunch of meetings to attend all over the midwest and the north-east so to save my company money, I had decided to rent a car and drive from meeting to meeting over the course of two weeks. On that day, I had finished a meeting in Columbus, Ohio and was on my way to Pittsburgh, where the next meeting was. The meeting in Columbus had gone very well, so I was in high spirits. And the high spirits might have made me foolhardy.
Like I said, the month was December. The month when it gets really cold in that part of the country. And a month when the amount of snowfall really varies from year to year. That wasn't exactly a blizzard-filled December like this last one (2009) was, but there was enough snow to make everything look white. People were talking of a possible white Christmas. It was the middle of the afternoon and about an hour out of Columbus, I had stopped at a tiny diner for a filling late lunch and taken a big cup of coffee to drink while I was driving. The food was yummy, the coffee was perfectly brewed, and I was generally in a great mood, singing along to oldies on the radio as I drove east along I-70.
And then it started snowing. Not a blizzard, but some serious snowfall. The roads were perfectly clean, thanks to the efficient salt-trucks that keep plying on the interstates in winter. There was very little traffic that day. So the driving conditions weren't hazardous and even with very little experience of driving in the snow, I felt no discomfort going at 70 mph.
The countryside, already covered with snow, looked beautiful, with only the odd house sticking out. The heavy snowfall made it all look even prettier. The snowflakes crashed against my windshield and were harmless swept away by my wipers. And even as I drove, I loved how amazingly gorgeous everything looked. I felt like I was inside one of those small glass things that you shake and it feels like it's snowing inside. What are those things called? Snow globes? Yeah, I felt like I was inside a snow globe.
And then I hit a stretch where there were no more houses or farms. Just woods. Tall naked snow-sprayed trees on both sides of the freeway. And a bee that had been buzzing in my bonnet since the start of this December roadtrip, reappeared. And it started playing with my head, tempting me.
You see, for a while now, I had wondered how it would feel to be naked outdoors in snow. How the snow would feel against my naked body. How my body would react to the cold. How would it feel to have a snowflake melt on my nipples? On my butt? And maybe other places? Obviously, my stay in the US was always work-related so I never got a remotely appropriate opportunity to try it out. Until now. The voice in my head kept saying - go ahead. Pull over. Walk into the wood. Get naked. And live out the fantasy.
And my high spirits, combined with the indescribable satisfaction from a hearty meal, half a liter of coffee, and the upbeat oldies music made me think - yeah, what the heck? I have taken worse risks before. This is pretty safe.
So I waited until there were no vehicle before or after me as far as the eye could see. And then slowed my car down, and pulled over on the shoulder of the road. I took the coffee cup and downed it all down my throat. Then looked in the rear-view mirror and waiter for the approaching cars and trucks to pass by. And then grabbed my thick woolen overcoat, my cap, and my gloves, my cellphone, my keys, and got out of the car. Locked the car, put on all the woolens, and started walking towards the treeline.
The snow on the ground was about 6 inches thick, so I was glad I was wearing my heavy boots. A few friends, veterans of midwestern winters, had made fun of me when i bought those boots. You only need such heavy boots if you go skiing, they said. In the cities, the curbs are always cleaned, and using these boots would be an overkill they said. But as I trudged along the snow-covered countryside and past the tall naked trees, I commended myself for being over-cautious.
I walked inwards carefully, trying to make sure I wouldn't slip. But there was really no reason to worry, with those boots on. After a while, I stopped focusing on my walking and started focusing on the heavy snow which was spraying against my face. It felt so wonderful. I am a Bombay girl at heart and nothing will compare to the sheer pleasure of getting soaked in the first rainshower in June. But this was pretty nice too. Snow, despite being made up of water, is dry, and even though it moistens you wherever it touches, it still leaves you unsoaked.
After about ten minutes of walking, I was a little breathless. Walking in heavy snow, with heavy boots, can be a bit tiring. I stopped and looked around. I was far enough from the freeway that I couldn't see it. All around me were naked trees and white snow. And a few feet away, I spotted a thicket of small evergreen shrubs, which stood out like a light-green oasis in the middle of all the white.
I also realized that I was feeling a bit warm, and my palms were a little sweaty. Maybe because of the mild workout of walking in the snow, and my excitement mixed with nervousness. I took off my gloves and put them in the pocket of my overcoat. I then stretched my bare palm forward and felt the heavily falling snowflakes (well not that heavy, because the trees although naked, did stop some of it from hitting me) hit my palm and melt. I felt like a little girl experiencing snow for the first time.
Now then, I said to myself. Time to go through with "the project". The shrubs seemed like a good place to act as my clothes-rack. I walked over to it, took my coat off, and put it on the shrub. Then I took off my cap and put it on top of the coat. Then I looked around carefully to make sure absolutely no one was around and took off my sweater, which I was wearing over a button down shirt. I wasn't too surprised when i did not feel too cold without my sweater. It's a phenomenon many of you who grew up in the tropics like me, but visited temperate regions later in life, must also be surprised by. In the winter, especially early on like December, when it is actually snowing, it does not really feel as cold as when it is not snowing. Of course, if there is wind accompanying the snow, yeah, it's biting cold.
But that day, there was no wind. Just snow. And it didn't feel as cold. I don't know the exact physics behind it. Maybe the clouds enclose the land and trap in the heat, or some such bull. Plus there is a lot of residual body heat, so it takes time to really feel cold. Whatever. I'm not sure. All I know is, although it was snowing, so it must have been 0 celsius, to me it felt like it was about 10 celsius. I scanned my surroundings again, and took off my shirt. Another scan and off came the bra, leaving me topless.
And then I stood there, leaving back slightly as the snowflakes hit me chest and boobs. Oh yes, it did feel magical, sending tiny shivers all over my body with every snowflake hitting my body and melting. I grabbed my boobs (which are, well, big!) and sort of bent them upwards, and a few flakes would, now and then hit my nipples, making me feel even more tingly. This was fun! I stood like that, boobs in my hand, torso arched backwards, letting the snow hit my boobs. And I started feeling a little colder than I had been. Better hurry up with the rest of it, I thought.
I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, and putting my thumbs inside my panties, lowered both of them down together. I tried to get my jeans off my leg. But then, problem. My heavy boots seemed like too snug a fit with the jeans' legs. The jeans wouldn't just slide off. They needed some coaxing. I put my left hand on top of the coat-covered shrub, bent my left leg in the knee and raised my ankle to I could pull the jeans off. In that awkward posture, I chuckled at how I would look to someone walking by - bare-ass naked, contorting her body to get the jeans off. It was a bit of a struggle, but I finally got them off and deposited them on the shrub.
And there I stood, completely naked in falling snow, with only my boots on. I was feeling chillier, so I decided to get on with it before I started feeling well and truly cold. Fully naked, I walked deeper into the woods, for a couple of more minutes, until I came to a small clearing. Just what I wanted. I stepped into it, for my body to enjoy the showering snowflakes, unhindered by trees. The flakes hit my hair, my face, my shoulders, and occasionally my boobs, back, and my butt. But as someone who has walked around naked in a windless snowfall will tell you, my lower body wasn't getting much of it.
So I got down on my hands and knees, wincing as my knees and fingers sank into the cold snow. The snow hit my back and my ass. But I gotta tell ya, that part, kinda disappointing. Snow on the ass, not much fun. My hands and knees were feeling cold so I got up and stood straight. There was still snow stuck to my hands. I looked at my right hand, and then slowly lowered it and touched myself. Yes. Right there!
OHHH!!! Bliss!! Slightly painful, but bliss. Ever had an ice cube rubbed on your clit? I have, and this felt way nicer. I wanted to carry out more more experiments with the snow down there, but my fingers were getting really cold. So I walked back to the shrub, picked up my gloves and put them on. Then I remembered reading that most of the body heat leaves through the head, so I put my cap back on, covering my head and ears. And I walked back to the clearing, completely naked except for boots, gloves, and cap. Hehe, just that descriptions feels so naughty.
I went back, scooped up some snow in my gloved fingers, and, well, did stuff there. This might seem weird coming from a writer like me who goes into really graphic lurid details in her stories, but I don't feel comfortable describing in too much detail what I did to myself down there. Suffice it to say, it was exhilarating. Then, when that area started feeling numb, another though popped into my head. And acquiescing to the thought right away, I sat down, bare-assed, on the snow.
Oooh!! The snow, and well, some slush, filled my asscrack, pushed against my pussy and my clit. And although it was too cold to stay like that for more than a couple of seconds, it felt goooooood. I got up. All this playing with myself in the snow was now starting to make me feel quite cold. I could see goosebumps, shivered a little, and felt my teeth chattering. I walked back to the shrub, picked up the thick overcoat and put it on. A couple of minutes standing there in my overcoat, gloves and cap, and that warmed me up sufficiently.
What else, I wondered. Complete nudity? Getting even the boots off? Nah. That would be REALLY stupid, and an invitation to frostbite. What then? Hmmm. My hands were in my coat pockets, and my left hand was on top of my cigarette pack. That gave me an idea. A small task for myself. I take my coat off, get naked, light a cigarette, and start walking naked inwards. Walk until the cigarette finishes. Well, to be honest, until the cigarette finishes, or until I start feeling very cold, whichever comes first. Then, turn back, get dressed, go back to the car, and drive to Pittsburgh.
So I took out a cigarette, took my gloves off, lit it, held it between my lips. Took off the overcoat. Decided to keep my cap on. Then I took out my cellphone, held it in the other hand. And headed out for my merry walk, stark naked except for my head and feet, with a cigarette in my hand. I smoked and walked. And I walked pretty briskly, now having gotten quite used to walking in the snow. I walked, feeling the snow flakes gently hit my naked body, admiring the pristine whiteness all around. Ten minutes went by, the cigarette was finished, and I realized, I had been walking so briskly, I was a little breathless. And, it struck me, I was not feeling very cold. Maybe the brisk walk and the effort needed to trudge through the snow warmed me up. I bent down, put off the cigarette in the snow, and decided to walk a little more.
I walked for a few more minutes, and then felt a slight chilliness returning. I had been walking for a good fifteen minutes , so it would take the same time to get back. I better turn around if I want to reach before I get a frostbite, I decided. I turned around, and started walking briskly, raising my knees high to get the blood circulating again.
Now, the terrain was not completely flat. It was bumpy. So the line of sight was limited until the next bump. If it had been all flat, I could have seen up to a longer distance, and not been as taken aback as I was. When it happened.
I had been walking back five minutes, when I thought I heard something and stopped. Holy fuck! Voices! Male voices! Not too far away, and in the front. Any minute now, and they would see me. I desperately looked around for a place to hide. But all I could see around me was think naked leafless trees. I panicked. My heart raced. And I feared the worst, as I stood rooted to the spot, with my mind blank.
And the men came into view. Two men. A few feet away from me. They saw me and I saw them. Both of them were wearing identical coats and hats. They looked a little surprised when they saw me, but not too much. I on the other hand was petrified, and started wondering if I had finally gone too far. Instinctively, I covered my pussy with one hand, and my breasts with the other. This was my worst nightmare come true.
Because standing in front of me were two cops. Well, later I learnt they were not exactly "cops", but Ohio state troopers. But still, law enforcement personnel had caught me, red-handed and bare-assed, streaking naked in a foreign country where I was on a temporary business visa.
No matter what fantasies I had ever had in the past about getting caught by cops, and then being forced into sex with them, they were far away from my mind. Instead, my mind was filled with dread. Dread of the worst case scenario.
"Umm...ma'am, is this yours?" the older of the two cops said. It took me a few seconds to register his question and then I looked at his hand. In it was my overcoat.
"Umm...yes." I said, feeling blood rush to my face.
"Please put it on." he said and threw the coat in my direction. It landed a foot away from me. I quickly picked it up, put it on, and buttoned it up.
"Thank you." I said, feeling a little more normal, now that I was not naked. I had no idea what to say or do next. I could not bring myself to look them in the eye.
"There is no one else with you, right?" the older man asked. I shook my head without looking at him. "Guess not, because we saw only one set of prints in the snow, but just making sure."
"Those are your clothes back there, right?" the other man, a younger one, maybe my age, said. I nodded. "Let's go there, and you can get dressed up."
The two men turned around and started walking. I meekly followed them, naked under my overcoat, my hands in my pocket. They were talking among themselves in hushed tones, and once in a while, I heard them chuckle. Then the older man slowed down until he was next to me.
"You feelin' okay, ma'am? If your fingers are cold, you can have my gloves." he said politely.
"Thanks, but I'm fine." I said.
"Please, I insist." he said, taking off his gloves and handing them to me. I took them, thanked him and put them on. They were too big for my hands.
He picked up his pace, caught up with his colleague and the three of us walked in the 2-1 formation until we reached the shrubs where my other clothes were kept.
"We'll give you some privacy." the younger man said, and both the men turned their backs on me and started walking towards the freeway. Like gentlemen, they kept their backs turned, as I took off the coat and started putting my clothes back on. This time I had no choice but to take my boots off, to get my jeans back on. Fully dressed, I walked up and joined them.
"Now. You okay? Feeling any frostbite? Shivering? Goosebumps?" the older man asked, taking his gloves from me and putting them back on.
"No, I'm fine." I said, still unable to look him in the eye. The man had after all, just seen me buck naked.
"How are your extremities? Fingers? Toes? All fine?"
"Ma'am, have you had anything alcoholic to drink in the last few hours?" the younger man asked.
"What?" I said, surprised, looking him in the eye at last. "No! Of course not!"
"Have you smoked any marijuana?"
"Can I give you a small sobriety test?"
"Sure." I said.
He asked me to extend my arms and then touch my nose with my right index finger. I did that. He then asked me to recite A-Z backwards. I did that. Then a couple of other things which I did easily.
"Okay, you don't seem intoxicated." the older man said. "Now, going by your accent, and the fact that you started the backwards alphabet with zed and not zee, I am guessing you are probably not a citizen of this country, correct?"
"You are here on some sort of a visa."
I nodded again.
"Will you excuse us as we talk about this a little, please?" he said, and walked several yards away with his colleague. I started fearing the worst, and started shivering, more out of nervousness than the cold. The two men talked for about five minutes, and then beckoned me over.
"Am I in trouble?" I asked.
"Well, fortunately for you, not really." the older man said with a friendly smile. "The Ohio law on public indecency or indecent exposure defines it as a punishable act if you recklessly and intentionally expose your private parts to others. Since you were all alone out there until we came by, and you were clearly not aware of our presence, and covered up as soon as we got there, you are technically not guilty of indecent exposure. If you had been, it could have had a severe impact on your visa. But in our eyes, you can not be charged with it."
"Oh thank god!" I said, feeling very relieved.
"Now, walking around naked in this weather is, well, for the lack of a better word, unusual. So we can use it as probable cause to search your vehicle for drugs." he said and paused.
"Oh, sure, you can search my car." I said at once. "All I have are tobacco cigarettes."
"Well, my colleague and I are satisfied that you are not under any sort of intoxication. So we don't need to search your car. Now, is your car in working condition?" he asked.
"Yes, it is." I said.
"Okay. The only reason we stopped was, we saw the car on the side of the road and thought maybe it had broken down. Then we followed your tracks in the snow. Then we saw the clothes, and well..... anyway." he said, clearing his throat. "You are free to go."
"Oh, okay. Thank you." I said.
"Can I give you some advice though?"
"Look, I understand the urge to, you know, do something like this. I have skinny-dipped a lot in my day." he smiled. "But really, in the snow? Out here?"