Nature or Nurture Ch. 43-44

Chapter 43

They sit at the kitchen table, not with a bottle of wine, that won't set Vincent drunk, his body burns the stuff off almost instantly. He is expertly downing a bottle of scotch instead, a present from an admirer.

'You have done that before, Vincent,' Mina observes as she sees him go through half a bottle in less than ten minutes. Starting to feel the first haze of drunkenness, Vincent realizes that she is right. In the life he remembers, he has never been drunk, and he certainly hasn't tried getting in that state as quickly as possible.

This is something this body has done before with such regularity that is has become ingrained, a habit that has survived the trauma of his resurrection. He now recognizes the symptoms of getting drunk, also not a new experience to this body.

'Prepare to meet Heathcliff tonight, Mina, my past seems to get closer to me as I start feeling the alcohol.'

'That can only be a good thing, Vincent, Heathcliff and me were colleagues, until I killed him that is, but I never felt the slightest attraction to him.'

For some ten minutes more, they don't speak, as Vincent lets the contents of the whole bottle disappear. When he is done, Mina asks, 'And, does it suffice? I believe you have one more in the house?'

Vincent tries to think, but there is a distinct haze settling over his feelings and his thoughts, especially his thoughts seem to strand every time he wants to finish one. It is a familiar feeling to him, but somehow slightly different. Probably because he is not drinking to forget his own misery, but rather to bring someone else's to the front.

Watching Vincent's yellow eyes trying to focus on her, Mina gets a feeling the moment is here, and indeed Vincent says, 'It's enough, actually a bit too far already, I cannot think properly, I'm in the state I used to drink myself in to forget my troubles, not to help someone else bring hers out and listen to them.

But I suppose that is the best stage for you to feed, I suspect this body burns it away quite quickly, I'll be in the perfect mood soon.'

He hands his arm to Mina, feeling nice and fuzzy about everything, looking forward to sharing intimate thoughts with a good friend rather than to the exciting process of her feeding. But Mina is not yet drunk, and she finds the prospect of biting Vincent and tasting his blood once more very exciting.

'You can bite my neck if you want to,' he offers, seeing her excitement through his haze, 'I'm so drunk, I can't imagine it would turn me on too much. I'm bent on sharing this pleasant fuzziness with you, not on ravaging you.'

It is just too tempting, they're still at the kitchen table, and Vincent is lame with booze, he is not going to turn into the creature and make love to her roughly.

She walks around the table and sits on his lap, astride, and still he does not give a single hint of finding that exciting. His yellow eyes watch her, but there is no heat in them, just sincere concern, whatever lust he feels for her, it is now drowned in a whole bottle of scotch.

Allowing herself to feel some heat, she unbuttons the top of his smart shirt, until his throat is bared, and his collarbones, for she is not going to bite him where it shows. She wants to hold him and smell him as she feeds, but she doesn't want to all the world to see the proof.

Smelling his white skin, tasting it with decided heat now, she still doesn't feel the slightest reaction from him, he is insensibly drunk, and eager to share that state with her. She doesn't strike, but rather slides her canines into the base of his neck slowly, lovingly, anticipating the first taste of that heady blood.

He barely reacts to the slight sting of her teeth, but as she fills her mouth with his blood, her sucking causes him some passion after all, for he clutches her against him and groans in bliss. Even in a drunken haze he seems to feel that, that was not what they had in mind.

But his blood totally overcomes her, so hot, so strong, and now it is absolutely laden with spirits, her heat doesn't stand a chance, she just wants to go on drinking it forever.

Vincent cannot protect himself from being sucked dry anymore, he is dead drunk and in absolute bliss, he'll let himself be drained and enjoy it.

And Mina is getting drunk as well, a feeling she hasn't known for years, on top of the enticing taste of Vincent's mind-turning blood, she's losing it, she cannot stop. Not at first that is, and for who knows how long she clings to her friend's chest and sucks his blood from two tiny holes in his solid neck.

Fortunately the habit of taking a limited amount of blood is already strong with her, and the alcohol cannot cause her to sink into a stupor when the blood itself is so stimulating. She has a flash of insight and quickly releases her dear friend, carefully licking the bite marks until they stop bleeding, not wanting to ruin his shirt by letting it get stained with blood.

Then reality hits her through her spirits-induced daze, and her head clears instantly, Vincent may be dead or dying, she may have taken more blood than he can spare. His arms still clutch her, and she wants to rest her head against his chest, but not yet, first she needs to check whether she hasn't inadvertently drained him beyond his capacity, he may be dying.

Looking up, she sees his white face, that's his usual colour, not lack of blood, but his eyes are closed and he seems unconscious at least. His pulse, she needs to check his pulse, and two fingers in his neck confirm he is at least still alive. Thank goodness!

As she sits up, still straddling him, she can feel him start to move beneath her, he's waking up a little, obviously excited, though she most certainly isn't anymore, she doesn't even feel the effect of the spirits anymore, why wasn't she more careful with Vincent's life? Feeding on a drunk person is dangerous!

Two strong arms pull her in once more, but she's back to reality, and she takes his smooth jaws in a firm grip.

'Are you all right, Vincent?'

His eyes, a fiery yellow, there is passion in them but it's still Vincent, not the beast as far as she can tell, and they still have trouble focussing as he replies giddily, 'Never better, I feel very, very good. A bit heated, though, can I have a kiss?'

She is so glad he is all right, though not very bright, but that is to be expected when he's dead drunk, that she gives him what he asks for, and still holding his jaws she kisses him deeply, until he lets go and asks demurely, 'Can you pull back the fangs? They're quite sharp.'

Right. Apparently the spirits still have a chance, if she forgot to pull back the canines, that has never happened before.

They finish that kiss, there is heat in it, but Mina doesn't have the urge to ravage him, she's way too drunk for that anyway, and they soon break it off and just sit together.

'I'm still incredibly drunk, Mina, everything is spinning, I'm afraid I'll fall off this chair. Can we sit somewhere more comfortable? Did it work for you?'

Feeling a bit guilty over his dizziness, afraid it is her fault, Mina manages to get Vincent to her own bed, where she sits next to him and answers his question.

'I don't know yet, Vincent, I couldn't stop sucking, the alcohol took my will, and yours, you may just be weak with blood-loss. Will you please talk to me, see if you are all right?'

'I'm just drunk, Mina, and a bit too heated. I'm quiet because I'm working very hard to keep the beast down, he's rather insistent. Maybe the bed wasn't the best place to move to, believe me I'm not feeling weak at all, don't touch the scar on my face or you'll be facing him. I have no doubt you can handle him, but I'll be suffering the pain tomorrow, and Victor's challenge, and he's already got his new sword.

And I would hate to have you look at me as an attacker.'

That last sounds really sweet, no sign of the beast there. It is difficult not to touch him, part of her wants to so badly, but she is actually quite sure their time will come, and it is not now, not befuddled with alcohol, his blood already coursing through her veins.

So she addresses the beast directly, though his connection to the real world, Vincent's eyes.

'Be patient, wild one,' she tells those yellow orbs, 'our time will come, but there will be no spirits between us, and both our partners will know about it and approve. I want you as much as you might want me.'

And to Vincent himself.

'And don't think I'm coming at him through you, if it turns out to be you that time in the future, I will be just as pleased.'

'We're one and the same, Mina,' Vincent observes, 'he lives what I live, and vice versa. How are you feeling now?'

'Exactly in the right mood, actually,' she replies, 'giddy, drunk, and very ready to spill my guts to anyone willing to hear me out.'

'Same here,' he replies, 'I'm no longer hazy or befuddled, just very right with the world and ready to hear everything you want to share.'

By now, they can hold each other without danger, and Vincent asks, 'Did you just say you were scared and filled with regrets when you were in his service?'

'Whenever I was not hunting, all the time,' she replies, 'weren't you?'

Vincent shakes his head.

'As far as I remember, no, I wasn't scared, I was incredibly angry, suffused with rage. Or with lust, that one time I dreamt of having perverse sex with Cathy. I even felt a very strong possessive yearning for her that I was convinced was love. I hadn't a clue what love was, then.'

'I'm just starting to get to know it, my parent's didn't love one another, not that I ever saw, and my father certainly didn't love Peter and me. My mother may have loved us, but not as I have come to know love here, Victor's, yours and Adison's, and Catherine's.'

'But you loved your brother, didn't you? And he loved you? Catherine mentioned he told you stories.'

'Yes, I always knew that kind of love, you're right, but once I became a vampire it lost all its meaning. When I was hunting, I felt hunger and lust and satisfaction. When I was in the presence of the master I felt fear, and when I was alone I sometimes felt regret for what I did, but had I refused I would have been severely punished, despite being non-expendable. The master had ways of punishing that hurt a lot but didn't show at all.'

That memory is painful, and the booze enables Mina to finally talk about the pain and the humiliation she suffered despite being a cruel, pitiless predator, and once she cries, it becomes easier to tell Vincent more and more of her inner pain.

How she found out that her brother had died in Africa, her own hurt put aside to comfort her mother, but also how she remembered into the smallest detail the people she had devoured, pregnant women, vulnerable young men, children of all ages, begging her for mercy, or accepting their fate in stunned silence.

'At such a time I didn't feel a thing, I played with them like a cat plays with its food, I was a beast, without conscience, and a predator, for I killed more than I needed to survive, I liked killing for its own sake, for the chase, the excitement.

But now I remember their faces, their desperation, the lives I stole from them, there were so many, Vincent, so many.'

It is so good to finally let it out, and to someone who has felt the rage and the madness himself, who knows he has done despicable things, and has had to accept that knowledge.

To Vincent it also feels very good to be drunk with Mina, she is clearly very comfortable with him after having shared so many of her darkest memories and thoughts. He kisses her again and asks, 'How does it feel to have my blood in your veins, combined with a load of spirits?'

Mina smiles.

'To spill my heart's contents, perfect.'

Then she elaborates.

'To have a huge trip, less perfect, the spirits counteract the effect of your blood, dampening the high, and your blood counteracts the spirits. Frankly I think it's a waste of your blood, the high is so much better pure, and it is incredibly dangerous to feed this way, for the spirits took my self-control and I nearly forgot to stop. You could have died.'

This thought upsets her, another effect of the booze of course, usually Mina is very stable. But comfort is near in Vincent's arms.

'So next time you want to get drunk we get Victor to drink a bottle of wine? Saves on the booze, and he's great fun when he's drunk, he gets very affectionate.'

'He does?' Mina is pleased to hear this, and Vincent adds, 'Just set an alarm on, how much is safe for Victor, five minutes?'

'He'll survive five minutes, easily. I may do that some day. Or I may ask you to keep an eye on the clock for us.'

'Which of course I would be happy to do for you.'

The effect of the booze now starts to wear a little thin in Vincent, which is not a problem for they did what he thought Mina needed, give her a chance to unload some of her past. But it makes holding her this intimately a bit too enticing, and he tries to put a little more distance between the two of them.

At the same time, the spirits also fade from Mina's system, but the effect on her is totally opposite, for now she experiences the usual high that Vincent's blood gives her, a high that may last for hours. And she finds out how much of his blood she has had, for this is the strongest rush she has had so far, and it is making her very heated and eager to make love.

When Vincent tries to remove himself from behind her, her body protests hugely, she wants him closer, not further away, she wants him to dominate her, to unleash his inner beast on her, right now.

Realizing what is happening, Vincent feels trapped, had he known how fast the spirits would leave his blood, or how much of his blood she'd had, he would have preferred to stay in the kitchen.

He really wants things to happen between them, but his best friend doesn't, so it is not going to, but he doesn't want to be coarse or mean to a woman he really likes either.

And that proves to be his undoing, for this is one strong lady, and she is on top of him in a second, and still he doesn't resist, how can he, that would be humiliating to her. Maybe he can still get away with a few kisses, he has no problem with that.

Mina is now totally out of her mind on his blood, he should be feeling weak having given her so much of it, but he isn't, his can feel his own excitement rising, this is very heady, such strength, such fervour. Still not resisting, but thinking feverishly of a way to refrain from hurting his friend by sleeping with his girl, Vincent's mind is not doing its job. He can only think of using force, and that is not acceptable, besides, his own feelings do not cooperate, he's just a man, and he has allowed himself all kinds of freedom with Mina these last few hours.

She kisses him now, and he kisses back, that is not the way to stop this, her hands in his hair, she is not going to...

She is.

The last thing Vincent has any influence over himself, is his hand trying to stop Mina from touching the scar on his right temple, but she is much quicker, and she lovingly traces it from front to back, and around, and around.

The creature takes over, and all Vincent can do is watch and hope this doesn't end in a drama. Whenever he tries to control this side of him as he has done all night, if it does escape, there is no stopping it. Victor is going to be devastated, and Vincent will not be able to enjoy this moment because of that, he has wanted this since the night Mina saved him after being shot, but not like this.

Strangely, Mina is not happy with the situation either, it's like assaulting a beloved friend, and not being able to stop it. She can feel him respond, but his heart is not in it, and her control is totally undermined by a huge overdose of Vincent's blood.

She doesn't want this, she wants him to want it, too, and making love with his blood already inside her is like a day after the fair, she wants to ride him as she bites him, and only then release the creature.

But her own creature is on the loose now, she is only now learning how strong Vincent's blood really is when she is not recovering from a serious wound, all the energy going towards her passion, setting her on fire, she'll be wiser from now on.

Meanwhile, she has Vincent under her, returning her kiss though obviously not happy about it. Mina knows exactly how to release the creature, and as she runs her hands through his hair he realizes she knows. The thing in control of her, her lust?, ignores his dismay, this is so unfair, he'll hate her for it.

At least her hand is tender, not just efficient. Her fingers trace the large scar lovingly, following the curves from front to back. What is going to happen now?

As Vincent's body is taken over by his violent side, Mina notices he no longer checks his strength, she is lifted bodily, and deposited on the bed, not roughly, but with great determination. Having gotten what it wanted, the thing riding her is quiet, but taking back control is no use, she's in stronger hands now.

The creature sits on top of her, as she was on top of his mild side moments ago. He is very heavy, and she cannot move a muscle, quite a pleasant experience actually, for she does not fear him, she wants him, it's just that Vincent objects to this.

He even looks different, his presence is overpowering, and not as Heathcliff's was, Heathcliff was all rage and he inspired fear, this man is in charge, and totally self-confident, Mina can understand why Adison loves him so.

Now she is being kissed passionately, he seems a lot more tender than Vincent has described him, this is no beast, and no monster. But he is immensely strong, and very overwhelming, and she gives herself up to the demands of her body, if she is going to get it rough, she will enjoy it, for it will not happen again, her chances at ever doing this with Vincent's support will be gone.

After the kiss she expects him to rip off their clothes, but nothing of the sort happens. The intense yellow gaze fixates her, an elegant hand holds her her cheek and the huskiest voice ever says, 'That is as far as we'll go, you just told me we'd wait until we had consent of both our partners as well as a lack of spirits between us. I'll be waiting for you, my life belongs to Adison, but I'm looking forward to a bit of fireworks. Mind you give a little more spice than this!'

And Vincent is back.

'What just happened?' he seems totally confused.

Mina is already pleading forgiveness.

'I'm so sorry, Vincent, I don't know what came over me. I watched it happen, but something just took over. I'm so glad your violent side was totally self-controlled. He told me this was not what we had agreed upon. Did you hear that? Will you ever find it in you to forgive me?'

'I remember now, things got out of hand. How much of my blood did you get to lose control so badly? I don't feel any different. Of course I'll forgive you, Mina, look what you've given me: apparently my violent side has more self-control than I have. That knowledge is the best gift anyone has ever given me.'

'He said his life belongs to Adison,' Mina is truly affected, she can still hear that husky voice say those moving words.

Vincent nods, and says, voice audibly affected now.

'It does. Ever since she accepted me when I was all alone and in such agony, my life and my heart have been hers.'

He softens that statement by adding, 'It helps that we found out later we truly like one another.'

'Oh Vincent, I'm so very sorry for what I did! I hope I can still face you tomorrow, I'm so ashamed. To lose control like that.'

'Don't beat yourself up over it, Mina. You're only just getting to know yourself, and you're doing really well. Look at me, I've apparently wronged myself for nearly two years, thinking I was still capable of violence, and now I find out I was wrong all this time. Adison did tell me he was sweet, she has loved him from the start.