Naughty Andy

Chapter 1

Lightly bearded Ted Brough, dressed in a faded red polo shirt draped over the belt-line of near indestructible faded jeans that topped scruffy soft lace-ups, stopped his Jeep Grand Cherokee on the roadside at the edge of town.

The aggressive leader and two irate followers dragged a severely beaten guy from the vehicle.

Two centuries ago, victim Andy Briggs may have been tarred and feathered before being run out of town in disgrace as an alternative to being shot dead or hung from the limb of a tree.

But this was the more civilised and law-enforced 21st century.

Ted said, voice rasping in anger, "Hold him up, keep him still"

The head of semi-conscious Andy Briggs lay slumped on his chest as he was propped up firmly.

Ted kicked the rampant fornicator in the groin with such force that the two henchmen men holding the victim staggered backwards.

"Let him drop and let's go," Ted said, spitting on the groaning victim being run out of town.

Earlier that day, Ted had found the bruising of a suspected 'love bite' on the neck of his wife and mother of two.

Under the threat of being punched in the stomach, she confessed that she'd had sex with the recently-appointed replacement security guy at the civic art gallery.

Furious, Ted snarled that she meant she'd been raped. He'd press the Police to lay charges and the scumbag would end up rotting in jail.

But his wife wept that she'd consented to sex.

Momentarily dumbstruck, Ted then demanded had she'd turned loco or had been drugged.

His church-going wife denied that foul play had been involved and turned his face livid when weeping it had been a magical encounter.

She confessed that a number of her female friends had said this new guy in town performed sex with the skill of an attentive artist imbued with romantic over-tones, or words to that effect.

Ted demanded the names of other women who'd fallen under the hypnotic charms of this foul interlope. His tearful wife provided the names of five women who'd confessed over coffee after their book club meeting of being expertly seduced by this guy Briggs.

Three of those fallen women were the wives of Ted's friends.

It was Saturday, and Ted successfully called two out of three of those similarly wronged cronies to an emergency meeting within the hour at a cafe where he broke the disturbing news.

Ted's pals were angry, disgusted that their wives could fall so easily to a preying seducer but the urging of enraged Ben the plumber, "Let's string him up," got no support.

Ted, who'd being humiliated plus astonished by the sluttish outbreak of his wife, said they must act calmly, and warned they must use restraint. At best, the worst they could do without being severely punished under law would be to apprehend the guy quietly, without being observed.

Then they could beat him up and dump him at the edge of town after warning him he should flee the wrath of other murderous husbands.

After dumping Andy Briggs, the guys drove back to a pub feeling justice had been done, more or less, but remained angry that their wives had fallen to mass hysteria over some cock and bull story about receiving an amazing experience from a self-appointed cock-shafting guru who surely was a complete fake.

Meanwhile, back at the dumping place, Andy Briggs, who was in intense pain but believed no bones were broken and he'd escaped suffering serious internal injuries. The battered guy, in severe pain, rolled over gravel beside the sealed roadway and slid virtually concealed into a storm water drain where he fell unconscious, oblivious to his body's attempt to heal itself.

Understandably, err perhaps, Andy provably consider he'd been an innocent victim illegally violated by jealous hooligans. All he'd done was make friends with women who felt they were somewhat neglected, and under encouragement he'd given them a brief experience of the quality of a sexual encounter that they really desired and deserved.

He could have had those men arrested and punished by the full extent of the law, although there was the question of where did that leave him? He'd committed no crime as adultery was not a crime in their country. He'd chosen consenting married women to avoid the risk of 'soiling' innocent unmarried adult women, assuming that some still exist. However, his male accusers would have demanded severe punishment of the offenderl

Andy groaned himself awake not long after dawn next morning. After checking that he could freely moving all limbs and gingerly touching his painful groin with the most pain centred on his enlarged and inflamed testicles, he leant to one side and urinated, intermittently and with significant discomfort.

He lay back thinking, what now?

"Those jerks, they've severely disrupted my very enjoyable way of life."

He groaned as he sat up and heard the sound of a passing vehicle skidding in metal on the side of the roadway. He turned and saw a van had stopped and then caught the sight of a female hurrying toward him.

He shuddered, believing she'd call the cops thinking he'd been a hit and run victim and he'd then potentially he'd be really in a fix."

"Hi sir, are you injured? Good gracious, it's you Mr Briggs!"

"Oh, Mrs... Mrs... of the book club."

"Mrs Armstrong but Lillian to you. Here let me get you into my vehicle and off to hospital."

"No, not the hospital."

"Why ever not?"

"Um, I don't wish to point fingers but a vigilante group of irate husbands did this to me. They have attempted to run me out of town and threatened real bodily harm if I attempt to return."

"Omigod, this is a matter for the police."

"Waste of time Lillian. I'm unable to identify my attackers."

"Unable or unwilling," she scowled.

Andy managed a weak smile and said she was on to him. He urged her to use her ample brain.

"Let's concentrate on what is the best outcome for me."

She frowned and then said, "Yes, I see what you mean. Your life in our community is over, or almost. First, let me get you home when I can clean you up and nurse you."

"But what about your husband? In due course, he'll hear the blasphemy about me, the ugly way people can bend the truth. The truth is I was assisting women, not harming them."

"I agree with that point of view. I, too, almost tumbled to your deliverance, the message that sex can remain a wonderful instrument of personal enjoyment to life even into old age. But come on, let's get you into my van. I've completed delivering flowers to regular outlets and don't worry about my husband, he left two days ago on a two-week business trip far from here."

* * *

As Lillian assisted the victim of that cowardly attack (depending on one's point of view) into the master bedroom, Andy with great difficulty to walk stopped, and with his face wrinkled in pain said, "No, not here; that's the marital bed."

"Yes, where nothing much happens these days," Lillian smiled. "You'll sleep with me here where I can keep an eye on you but you'll have to move to the guest room the moment you begin to feel frisky again."

"Ha, when will that be, sometime next year?"

"Nature will determine when you are ready to once again spread your sexual wings, so to speak."

"That's brilliant, Lillian," Andy said, beginning to laugh but that changed into a cough and he thrust a hand over his genitals as if protectively.

Lillian got him on to the bed and undressed him and when removing his underpants gasped, when viewing the ugly mass of red and purple bruising.

"Rest while I phone a friend who is a hospital nurse and ask her for advice."

Lillian returned with a cup of heavily sugared tea and told Andy to sip it slowly.

"It's over-sugared."

"Janice told me to give you that and no food in the meantime. She's on her way over here."

"She may be professionally-required to report my case."

"Why, I told her you've been kicked by a horse and we laughed when she called it a dead-eyed dick kick."

Andy groaned, and sipped tea.

Janice arrived and Lillian introduced them.

"You'll be a sorry fellow suffering a kick like that, Andy. Well let's see it," she said, and pulled back the bed covers.

"Good god," she exclaimed, removing the ice-packs.

"What?" called Lillian and the victim almost together.

"You pack more than a handful down there," said the 30-year-old married nurse. "Otherwise, what I see is the regular result for chaps receiving a kick in the nuts in a bar-room brawl or a misplaced kick in a football game."

Andy and Lillian looked relieved.

"The pain should have eased with 24-hours," Lillian said and the swelling should have noticeably decreased. If not, you'll need to be seen by a doctor to check for the possibly of internal bleeding or some sort of internal malfunction but it should be nothing serious if attended to promptly. In the meantime, continue with those pain-killers Lillian, adhering strictly to directions on the packet."

"Thanks Janice," Andy said gratefully and she said it had almost been worth making the call just to see a beautiful example of a splendid cock, although abnormally swollen.

"I'll pay..."

"No fee required. I've done this as a favour for my favourite neighbour."

Lillian took Janice to the kitchen for coffee and later when she returned, she found Andy asleep.

He awoke just before 4 pm, he consumed a plateful of chicken broth and after an hour chatting, slipped off to sleep again and was still asleep when Lillian slipped in beside him at 9:30.

Andy made good recovery progress over the next three days and when Lilliam came to bed that night, dressed in one of her floral nightdresses, he said brightly, "Take that thing off and let my see your body as nature intended."

"No, and anyway I'm overweight."

"That's better than being scrawny. You have large breasts that should be admired."

"Omigod, no one has spoken to me like this in years."

"Strip off and climb in and allow me to doodle my hands over you."

"Whoa, you sound as if you need to shift to the guest room where you can tug your dick back into working order. I'll change the sheets daily to deal with any deposits."

He ignored that and instead challenged, "Have you ever had a cock in your mouth, Lillian?"

"Omigod, I can now understand how that group at the book club became raunchy after attending your advance session on sexuality after your initial address as a guest speaker on stimulating fiction writing hopefuls."

"And yet you failed to attend the advanced session," Andy said, eyeing her thatch over her pussy as she climbed in beside him, nude.

"Yes, because I didn't think I should risk being tempted to commit adultery with you and anyway I'm only doing what you have suggested as I don't believe you're up to shafting just yet."

He said that was correct but repeated his earlier question, "Lillian, have you ever had a man's erection in your mouth?"

There was silence.

"Lillian," he said, saying her name in a persuasive tone.

"I'm thinking about when I lost my oral virginity all those years back."

"Oh, I wouldn't rush you and, I lack erection capability at present."

Lillian said softly, "I'm now thinking this is a perfect situation where I could put my mouth to excellent use."

Naughty Andy beamed, guessing that Lillian would be sucking his cock into her mouth within a minute or two. He believed that some oral massaging could persuade his dick to rise to the occasion.

Within three days, Lilliam and Andy were fucking like honeymooners.

Then, their intimacy was shattered.

Lillian was cleaning up after breakfast and looking down the track giving access to the road, when she spotted a slowly-approaching vehicle and then identified it as a Jeep.

Andy was in the bathroom shaving his groin.

Lillian called nervously, "That Ted Brough you told me about, did you say he drove a big red Jeep."

"Yeah."

"This is probably hime driving up the track with one guy beside him. Word may have got to them that someone saw me rescue an injured drunk from the roadside drain and he's combing the countryside to find where you may be holed up."

"Grab your stuff, I'm bringing you're the keys to my van. Slip out the backdoor and over to the barn, you'll be out of sight of them because of this sprawling house, but hurry."

"Open the rear doors of the barn and drive out and close the doors to avoid raising suspicion in case they search out-buildings looking for you."

"Quietly drive down hill on that track that eventually will swing to a gate on the eastern boundary. Unlock the gate with the key that's attached to the ignition key-ring, drive through and lock the gate, again to avoid suspicion of that ape that someone might have driven off furtively right under their noses."

"Leave my van at the bus station, dropping the keys under the passenger side mat."

Impressed, Andy said, "You sound well-versed in this nifty escape."

"I've used this sneaky escape route a few times when giving favours to one or two of our randy male neighbours when my husband was arriving home unexpectedly."

Andy hurriedly stuffed two trash bags with his meagre possessions, fighting to curb rising panic.

A few days earlier, Lillian had visited his former rental apartment, paid off his rental commitment and collected his possessions. She'd also delivered his letter terminating his employment and had collected his termination pay in the accordance with his resignation letter instructions.

"I'm surprised to learn that I was not your first adulterous conquest."

Embarrassed, Lillian confessed that she liked to give the impression she was an honourable woman and loving wife.

They kissed deeply and he fled.

Andy phoned Lillian later that day on his bus ride to a new city more than 200 miles to the north and learned how she'd dealt with that hooligan.

The asshole Ted Brough, as she called him, arrived with an accomplice, to find her cradling a shotgun. He demanded to search the property for the fugitive Andy Brough.

She said sure but they wouldn't find him and he'd gone south three days ago after she's found him injured on the roadside and had taken him home to attend to him medically.

Lillian said she assumed that the nurse Janice had unwisely told a girlfriend about the guy with the blue balls and that information had filtered down to that asshole Brough. So, she told them to go ahead and make a thorough search but take nothing otherwise she'd use her gun loaded with buckshot to pepper their arses.

They found nothing of course and when asked where was her vehicle, Lillian said it was in the city for two days having its transmission attended to.

Andy asked, "And they didn't hurt you?"

"No and being armed, I was not even frightened. To tell the truth, it can be rather boring living on the farm long periods alone when you husband in away so often. I've hadn't had so much fun for ages since meeting up with you. I'm reminded of the best sex I've ever had, as my well-worked over pussy remains rather tender."

"Andy, and I'll say this: Never before have I been tended to so sensitively and tenderly as the time I'd spent with you and awash in so much semen. I used to think that stuff was so messy. You had me feeling I was blessed being coated in the result of your attentive hard work with me. I also adored you calling me a gusher with so much respect."

Andy was deeply moved by such a telephonic valediction and all he could do was to sob, "Thanks for those beautiful words, darling Lillian."

That of course left her in tears and wailing in despair that they should have met in their late teens.

Chapter 2

Andy Briggs, who chose to live an economic and rather nomad life, was far from being penniless, having been left two substantial cash inheritances in recent years from expired grandparents on either side.

Because he still suffered a physical misfortune, he chose to book into a hotel for a week at his new chosen destination of Glengarry, a thriving city far from its namesake where its original settlers had emigrated from.

The receptionist thought he looked poorly (actually from a recovery period partly stymied by an over-abundance of sexual activity) and the muscle tighteness and pain between his legs still impeded a free walking gait.

She asked politely, "Good afternoon sir, are you injured or suffer a physical disability. I need to ask as you probably need to avoid stairs."

Remembering he had arrived in Glengarry with its Scottish name, he replied, "Aye lassie, I'm recovering from a hefty kick in the nuts."

The young woman froze in embarrassment momentarily and then, observing training procedure, she said, "Just a moment, sir" and called her supervisor who swept into reception ready to fight tooth and nail and clout the villain with a heavy hairbrush in defence of her staff member.

But all appeared peaceful.

"Fenella?"

"This gentleman has been kicked in the nuts Mrs Cullen, meaning testicles I believe and, I don't know how to handle this from here."

"Take a break, dearie. I'll handle this," said the seasoned day reception manager confidently.

"Sir, where did this happen, outside at the entrance arrival point and one of our footmen put the boot in?"

"Put what in?"

"The boot man, what else did you think?"

"Look, I arrived from the bus depot in a taxi and the guys in uniform at the entrance ignored me as they were squatting in a tight bunch sharing a joint."

"Omigod," though Trish Cullen, with visions of a Sunday newspaper exposé of a nasty sensational beat-up of an arriving guest at Glengarry Royal Hotel by porters, parking attendants and concierge staff gambling, smoking pot and fornicating, flashed before her eyes.

She knew this upcoming complaint had to be nipped in the bud, one way or the other.

She broke into a sweat but continued remarkably calmly.

"Sir, although I'm an executive manager, I shall book you in and take you to your room myself as you have established yourself as a distinguished guest."

"Cripes," thought Andy, it appeared to be was a classy hotel but if he were considered distinguished, they must get heaps if riff-raff as guests, probably low-level staff on company accounts.

"Cor it's hot in here sir, er Mr Briggs. I must go and cool off."

"Nah Trish, I'd like to chat. Why not hitch up your dress and stand over by the window you have opened. I must say the the partial sighting of an attractive length of female leg is unlikely to have me fleeting to the hills."

Omigod, thought Trish. The guy was entering immediate negotiations whereas she'd thought it would take her at least an hour of plying him with drinks to get him sprawling out on his bed and undressing her.

"About this unfortunate incident you experienced on arrival to be kicked in the balls."

Andy thought he could use this mistaken belief that he'd been assaulted by staff to his advantage.

He lied, "Trish, as I left the taxi I tripped and fell against one of your female parking attendants. She toppled and one of the shoes on her flying feet as she crashed to the pavement caught me in the groin. She wasn't hurt apart from being winded but I was hurt err terribly."

"I need to see evidence of that," Trish said, following item 28: 42b in the hotel's mandatory guide on staff behaviour and procedures.

Andy blithely dropped pants and underpants and Trish gasped, aware that what she was seeing amounted to a good handful and a half.

"Yes sir..."

"Call me Andy, please."

"Yes Andy, most impressive and I can see ample evidence of developing bruising (actually disappearing bruising) and extensive skin and flesh impact of contusion."

"Um, Andy. Will you be able to regain erections soon?"

"It's difficult to know, dear Trish. Why not take it in hand for your personal and professional assessment?"