Navy Nurse Ch. 16

At the next weekly luncheon date after her date with Hank Doran, when Diana met with Makayla Brown, her best friend, and classmate at the School of Nursing of the University of Michigan, she had lots of happy information to impart. She described all the details of her spectacular date with Hank Doran. She listed all the attributes she discerned in him. Finally, she listed her hopes and dreams of establishing a serious relationship with him.

For Makayla, this exuberant account by Diana of her aspirations for Hank Doran seemed eerily like a case of déjà vu, when compared to Diana's previous infatuation with Brad Winters.

Makayla responded, "Look, Diana, you have to see that you're jumping the gun on envisioning 'mistletoes and reindeers'* (*air quotes) in the possibility that you and Hank might become an item. You really should tamp down your expectations of a future liaison with Hank, until you have some concrete evidence that you are genuinely in a relationship with him. Surely, I don't have to remind you that you were almost ready to marry Brad Winters after only one real date, and of course, it all came to naught."

"That's not fair to compare. As you know, Brad died in a car accident before we could establish a significant relationship."

Makayla snorted as she replied. "Oh my, but aren't we guilty of selective memory? As I recall from what you have told me, Brad died in a car crash, as he was coming to Ann Arbor to submit to a paternity test. You had intimated to him that if the paternity test showed that he was not the father of your baby, you would abandon your desire to form a relationship with him. With Hank Doran, you're even in a worse position since you know with absolute certainty that he is not the father of Laura."

Diana responded, "I think that we have apples to oranges debate. In the case of Brad, we were probably going to enter into a relationship, but he was involved in a motor vehicle accident where he killed a man. At that point, he thought he was unworthy of me, and so thought he was doing the noble thing by releasing me from any possible commitment. I pointed out the possibility that he might be the father of my baby, and for that reason, we should not abandon hope that we could still be a couple. So he agreed to submit to a paternity test, but as you know, he died in a second accident. Notwithstanding, what I had told Brad to convince him to take the DNA test, I believe even if the test had been negative, I could have convinced him that we do have a future, and I would wait for him as he served out his prison sentence. Besides, as I told you at the time, I had the strongest premonition that he was indeed the father.

"As for Hank, it is entirely a different matter. He knows that he is not the father, and he wondered why I did not get an abortion. His only concern was why I did not make an effort to try and ascertain the sire of my baby. I think nowadays most men are not concerned about the past sexual history of their current girlfriend or their wife. However, if their girlfriend or wife has a child or children from a previous lover or husband, then there exists potential subconscious jealousy in the mind of the man. He might be plagued with uncertainty and doubts as to how much he is loved by his girlfriend or wife, vis à vis the father of her child or children. In my case, neither Hank nor any future boyfriend or husband I may acquire, can legitimately or even emotionally, maintain such a similar negative feeling in his mind. Yes, I'm an unmarried mother with a child born illegitimately. Still, Laura is not a 'love child'* (*air quotes) as it is generally understood in modern jargon. I would venture to say that I'm in the same position in regard, as a single female who has custody of her nephew or niece, because of the inability or the impossibility of her sibling, and or the other responsible parent to raise the child in question.

"Finally Makayla, I appreciate your concern that I seem to have overreacted in proclaiming my heartfelt love for Brad, and now for Hank, before establishing a solid history of intimacy with either of them to justify my expressed apparent euphoria. All I can say is that I'm not fragile; I do not break. Yes, Brad's death was an unbelievably painful shock that was hard to accept, but I was able to move on. If nothing comes of my anticipated relationship with Hank Doran, no doubt I'll be dismayed, but I won't be devastated.

"I think, Makayla, what you don't understand is my perception of myself. My two sisters are genuinely gorgeous. Compared to them, I had developed a feeling of inadequacy throughout the time I was growing up. As a result, I lacked self-confidence in my sexual appeal or allure. I was reticent in getting sexually active, and that, in turn, reinforced the idea that I was not appealing to the opposite sex. I welcomed your friendship, Makayla, because you seemed to be the kind of fun woman I wanted to emulate. I believe that knowing that you had already participated in the Frat party charity gangbang orgy in the year previously, was the tipping point for me to consent to participate in the same event in the last school year.

"As I had already told you, Makayla, that orgy was the first time that I had experienced vaginal sexual intercourse. And on that occasion of my actual first-time sex, I fucked 101 different men. Discounting the fact that I got pregnant as a result of that orgy, I knew that aside from a couple of exceptions, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. That led me to question myself as to what kind of woman I aspired to be. I believe that I desired to become a superwoman as dictated by today's society. You know, the kind with an exciting career, a wonderful husband and a passel of adorable children. But given the promiscuous nature of the beginning of my sexual lifestyle, I'm regarded as a slut and a bimbo. And given the fact I had no shame in enjoying the sex, I had come to believe I was, in fact, one, because I couldn't shake my lusty nature. I honestly did not think I could remain faithful and exclusive in any relationship. So I thought that I was precluded from attracting a decent man, and therefore I cannot become a superwoman.

"Still, as a politically conservative woman, despite my Democrat parents, I admire most Kellyanne Conway, the senior counselor for President Trump. That woman was thirty-four years old when she got married and has since given birth to four children. Despite the typically enormous demands of motherhood, Ms. Conway has risen to the status of being one of the most successful professional women in the country, as evidence by her high profile position with President Trump's administration.

"Naturally, I have not envisioned that I would achieve such a high profile successful public career as Ms. Conway, but I believe I'm in the same league as her. I'm going to become an officer of the United States Navy, which I daresay is even superior in the social hierarchy than a mere attorney, which Ms. Conway was upon completion of her education. So, although I aspire to be a woman of substance in the mold of Ms. Conway, I feared that my slutty nature would do me in.

"However, I've changed my mind as a result of having known first Brad Winters, and now Hank Doran. Had he lived, I do not doubt that he would have become a successful lawyer even though he would have had to do some prison time. As for Hank, I have every confidence that he will become a fabulous chemical engineer. In a nutshell, these are terrific men. Therefore I know I would have been faithful to in Brad's case and can be in Hank's case. Again, Makayla, if nothing comes from my association with Hank, I won't despair. There are lots of other fish in the sea, and I now know I can catch and keep a worthwhile one."

In answer to Diana's lengthy explanation of her sentiments, Makayla answered, "Wow, you sure have a great head on your shoulders, Diana, and you certainly know your own mind. You said you want to emulate my fun nature, but I marvel at your intellect. You are, without a doubt, the most impressive female friend I've ever had, and I confess that knowing you has influenced me to become a better woman. However, I do advise that you need not be so serious and over analyze all of your sexual experiences. Even your heroine, as you said, did not get married until she was thirty-four. So you have lots of time to cat around and sample the various fish in the sea before finally settling on the best catch of the day."

They both laughed at the banal use of the fish metaphor. Diana promised to Makayla that she would not give away her heart on Hank's string unless and until there was a serious, mutually established exclusive commitment.

Alas! Hank Doran did not call. As the days passed with no word from Hank, Diana started to imagine a déjà vu feeling.

'Surely,' she thought, 'Lightning cannot strike twice! Surely Hank has not died as a result of a motor vehicle accident, and that's why I haven't heard from him.'

It didn't help that the University of Michigan is a large institution of higher learning. The fact that Hank and she were students in different faculties made the possibility of their seeing each other remote. Simply passing each other during their regular student activity while attending the school did not transpire.

Naturally, in the ensuing weekly luncheon dates, Makayla Brown had to endure Diana's enunciated despair and fretfulness at the lack of communication from Hank.

Finally, losing all patience with Diana's constant whining, Makayla exclaimed, "Enough already! Stop bitching about your situation! Why the fuck don't you just call him and find out where you stand. You do have his number, don't you?"

"Yes, certainly. I captured it on my iPhone when he called me to ask me out to the basketball game."

"OK, then. Just call him!"

"OK, I will."

"Good!"

Diana duly called Hank Doran, and the ensuing conversation transpired as follows,

"Hello."

"Hank?"

"Yes."

"This is Diana."

"Oh?"

"Diana Van Buren. You know, I'm a nursing student. You asked me out, and we went to a basketball game against Purdue about a month ago."

"Yes, of course, Diana. So what can I do for you?"

"Well, I was wondering since I haven't heard from you, whether you are bogged down in your studies. I can appreciate that chemical engineering can be a very intense discipline, that doesn't allow much free time."

"No, not to worry. I'm on top of my school work, and have no problems in that regard."

"Well, OK, then. So I'm calling to wonder if you would be interested in seeing me again."

"And why would you think that?"

"Well, I thought we had a good time together in our previous date. We did have sex, and in some respects, it could be considered extraordinary sex. So I think it would be normal for me to expect that you would contact me for another date."

"Well, Diana, here's the deal. I, of course, expected to fuck you when I asked you out since you're a slut, a skank who has no problem in submitting to a gangbang, fucking at least seventy-five guys. And you even got pregnant as a result. Even porn stars or professional prostitutes in their every day working life don't do that many men in such a short period."

"So you have no interest in me as a person?"

"You got that right, honey! I do have a steady girlfriend, who couldn't come to the game, and that is why I asked you out instead."

Summoning as much personal dignity as she could muster for a mature response, Diana replied, "I completely understand your viewpoint. I do apologize for bothering you. You need not worry that I'll be troubling you ever again."

Diana thereupon hung up and broke out into an agonizing prolonged dispiriting crying jag. She was aware that the consensus of those who were privy to the exact nature of her sexual proclivities and past activities would condemn her for her lewd behavior. But in the case of Hank Doran who was the overseer of the Frat's charity gangbang, one would think that he would have a more nonjudgmental and even a grateful attitude towards herself, and the other girls who had agreed to submit to the gangbang in the name of charity.

The Frat's charity party, with the gangbang aspect naturally swept under the rug, was a massive success for the Frat and garnered very favorable goodwill. As Hank Doran was the acknowledged Frat director who was responsible for making the charity party happen, he was accordingly recognized as a Big Man on the Campus. And of course, he was enjoying all the perks associated with such distinction, and that in turn made Diana's distress more bitter.

Aside from that date with Hank in January, Diana had no other partners or opportunities for sex for the balance of her junior year. She filled in the time by studying diligently, and ended up as the student nurse with the highest GPA amongst the junior year students of the School of Nursing at the University of Michigan. Her other preoccupation in life was being a mother to her baby. Since her parents had hired Astrid Haagensen as a nanny, raising Laura was a joy, not a drudgery.

During the summer recess, she found employment with a walk-in clinic treating patients, who had no medical insurance. That experience proved to be invaluable to supplement her academic studies at the University. In addition, that employment provided a humorous incident that she had thereafter always relished in recounting. A man staggered into the clinic one day in great distress. He had trouble breathing, and was gasping for air. Recognizing immediately that the man was suffering a severe and critical asthma attack, Diana was able to pull the doctor away from his current attention to treat the man. Providing an oxygen breathing treatment, that no doubt saved his life, the man recovered and was charged by the clinic one hundred dollars for the service.

What made this incident memorable was that the man returned to the clinic about a month later, and provided a box of chocolates to Diana and the staff of the clinic, as a thank you. He advised, " You might not remember me, but a month ago I was here and you undoubtedly saved my life from a very serious asthma attack. As I was in between jobs I had no medical insurance, and so you charged me one hundred dollars, which I deemed with relief was a very generous bill indeed.

"Now, and I assure you, that this is no lie, about two weeks later, my pet cat was suffering respiratory distress quite similar to mine. So I rushed my cat to the veterinarian, and similar treatment was applied to rescue my cat from its suffering. My cat recovered and the veterinarian charged me two hundred and forty dollars for the services rendered. This struck me as a telling indication as to the pecking order of my place in society."

Diana laughed wholeheartedly at that anecdote for its incredible dichotomy. All of her extraneous activity went a long way to mollify her lack of sexual activity as well as soften her despair at contemplating the utter disdain for her as a person, that Hank Doran had articulated. Considering her attraction to him, his cruel dismissal of her upset all of her dreams. That, though made her determine, that if nothing else, she could focus on becoming the best goddamned nurse that the Navy had ever commissioned.

When Diana started her senior year, there was still no sex in the offing for her. Curiously enough, her best friend Makayla Brown was likewise bereft of sexual intimacy from any male admirers, since almost all of her fuck buddies had graduated from the University, and were no longer available. At least Makayla had the solace of looking forward to the potential of incidental sex when she would act as the hostess for the current year's Frat charity gangbang. To positively ensure that she would at least be engaged in oral sex, she got Hank Doran to agree, that she would be one of the hostesses responsible for prepping the ticket-holding donors before they were to engage in sex with the volunteer girls. Thus, she was relieved of being the timekeeper and gatekeeper as in her previous stint as a hostess. Makayla advised Diana, that Barbara Spencer would do those duties in her stead. She quipped, "That's the reward for that bitch for besting me last year."

That November, on the morning of the orgy, Dianna received a phone call from someone not listed by the caller ID. Expecting a telemarketer she answered anyway, and the conversation ensued as follows, "Hello."

"Hello, Diana. Diana Van Buren?"

Recognizing the voice, she answered, "Hank? Is that you, Hank Doran?"

"Yes, it is, and I'm pleased to realize you had recognized me."

"I'm sure you're aware that you have a uniquely distinctive voice. I would recognize it forever unless I happen to meet another man with a similar sounding voice. Anyway, how did you get my number? Considering our last conversation, I would have thought you would have lost my number just like I've lost yours."

"I asked Makayla Brown for it."

"I should have guessed it. Oh wait! Does this call have something to do with tonight's affair at the Frat House? That is euphemistically called the Frat's Charity dance and party, which happens to include some special entertainment? The latter part, of course, is known only to a relatively select few."

"You're right on the money. It just so happens that one of the volunteers had to cancel as she suffered an attack of appendicitis and had to have her appendix removed by surgery earlier this morning. So naturally, she's out of commission as far as tonight is concerned."

"I get it! Let me guess. So, as a slut and a skank, you would have imagined me as an ideal candidate to replace the unfortunate slut and skank who is at present unable to fuck at least seventy-five guys."

"I do apologize for the harsh language I used in disparaging you last time we spoke, and in contrast, I am aware of the solid qualities that make you an impressive woman. The trouble was that we had too good a time on our date. I didn't want to raise your expectations, and I also did not want to be tempted to pursue you. I do have a steady girlfriend, and we have been dating during my entire time at U of M. We're not officially engaged yet, but I plan to propose this Christmas."

Ignoring his blatant ignoble cheating on his girlfriend, and apparent fiancée to be, Diana was somewhat mollified by this clarification of his previous brutally dismissive language. Still, she recalled that Makayla had previously advised that she had also fucked Hank in the past, presumably when he was involved with that serious girlfriend, so she wasn't entirely convinced of his sincerity. Therefore she replied somewhat cagily, "Don't sweat it, Hank. I may be a slut and a skank, but I'm not dumb. I can appreciate that lots of men can't stomach a promiscuous woman, so it's on me to convince a potential serious boyfriend that I would not wander. I thank you for your explanation as I realize now I had no chance with you in any case. Mind you I understand you've had a round with Makayla was well. So I guess your girlfriend is most accommodating. "

Hank ignored Diana's barb, and instead cut to the chase, "So can you do it, Diana? Sorry for the short notice, but you can understand it was an unforeseen setback for the logistics of the party's special entertainment."

"Well, you know I'm in my senior year, so I won't be around next year to act as a hostess. My understanding is that a volunteer must agree to act as a hostess the following year, and that was the reason I wasn't considered a candidate for this year's orgy."

"No problem. I'm sure next year's director will work it out and recruit a hostess. I'm thinking since the girl you're replacing is in her freshman year, she would be asked to act as hostess and probably offered volunteer and hostess for her junior and senior years."