Neglected

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komrad1156
komrad1156
3,773 Followers

"It is," he told her. "I have one more semester left. I know I said I was a junior but I got 10 elective credits for OCS I wasn't aware of and if I take 17 credits, I'll be done just before the winter holidays."

"What will the shoe store do without you?" she teased. She was aware she felt sad when it hit her he wouldn't be around any more another four months or so.

"Yeah, it's gonna be tough. No doubt about that. All I can do is train my replacement and hope for the best, right?" he said very seriously.

Shandy laughed politely then said, "Why the military, Dustin?"

"Well, that's where my real story begins, I suppose. Are you sure you want to hear it?"

"I'm sure," she told him. "I just never pictured you wearing a uniform. I guess I assumed you'd be more the kind of guy who'd play in a rock band and have groupies following him or something."

He smiled back and said, "No, no groupies. I can't sing or play an instrument, either, so no band."

He sighed then said, "Where to begin? I don't really know my dad. He's been in and out of prison all my life."

"Oh, my goodness. Dustin, I'm so sorry," she said with genuine concern.

"It's okay. That's all I've ever known. He's an alcoholic and an addict and he's either in trouble for possession or distribution or holding up a store for money or..."

Shandy reached out and took his hand, not because he seemed sad or upset, but because she genuinely hurt for him.

He kept talking. "My mom is a mess, too. She's been married three times and lived with so many guys over the years I lost track. I don't have brothers or sisters, and not really having a family that was close, I've always wanted to feel like I was part of something, you know? Something bigger than myself. A...brotherhood. Someplace where people really cared about each other."

He paused to take a bite and a sip of coffee then continued. "I'm not religious or I suppose I'd belong to a church or synagogue or something. Anyway, I had two teachers that were life changers along the way. The first was in fourth grade and the other in junior high. They both took a personal interest in me and encouraged me and complimented me on my ability to learn and helped me understand that, well, persistence is the key to being successful. I had no role models at home and they filled that gap."

Dustin looked up and saw Shandy's eyes filled with tears.

"Hey, what's that all about?" he asked trying to let her know things were fine.

"You are just so amazing, Dustin. I...I think that might have broken me and I know it would break most kids. I'm just so impressed at your strength and resilience. You're so kind and polite and obviously very dedicated. I really had no idea about any of this."

"How could you?" he said being serious for a moment. "I'm not sharing this to garner sympathy, Shandy. It's just my life story and I shared it because...because well, I really like you. A lot. Maybe more than I should, but that's how I feel." He smiled then said, "Well, that's some of how I feel about you."

Shandy was still holding his hand when she realized her heart was beating very fast and very hard. She looked at their hands and slowly pulled hers back.

"Dustin? Remember when you told me if I was 10-15 years younger—and single—you wouldn't be interested in me? What did you mean by that?" she asked without any hint of demand. She just wanted to understand.

"I don't have anything against girls my age, I just don't have any interest in them as far as a potential long-term relationship. I've liked women who are older than me for several years now and...well, I've liked you for several months."

"But...why me? I...I don't understand," she said wanting to know more.

"Let's start with the obvious, okay? We have to be attracted to someone—physically—for there to be any kind of further relationship, right? The other person doesn't have to be drop-dead gorgeous, we just have to find them attractive. In your case, I just happen to think you are that beautiful, but the attraction is just the opening move in the relationship game. Which isn't really a game, of course."

"Thank you," Shandy said. "But I still don't know why you...what...like me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he countered politely. "You're not only gorgeous, you're smart, funny, and I love being around you. In fact, I'd like to be around you even more because that's the only way we can really get to know each other."

"Dustin, I...I don't know. This has been so nice, but...well, you can't just say the age difference doesn't matter. It does. I can't be younger and you can't be older so..."

He reached for her hand then said, "Hmmm. Someone wasn't listening, was she?" He was smiling and being very friendly. "Did you miss the part that said I prefer women who aren't my age?"

"No, I heard you," she said. "But it's not like I'm 4-5 years older, Dustin. I'm..."

"Amazing?" he said. "Beautiful? Incredible? Did I say amazing?"

Shandy laughed then said, "I just don't see where this could go. That's all."

"Okay, so now we're getting somewhere!" he said enthusiastically.

"We are?"

"Uh-huh. The problem isn't that you don't want to spend time with me, it's that you just can't see where this is going. So what you need to do is spend more time with me and I'll show you. A lot more time, by the way. Then you'll have your answer and we'll be able to get passed all this preliminary stuff and on to the important things."

Shandy sighed then said, "You're not only persistent, you'll actually kind of charming."

"I can't help it," Dustin said with exaggerated modestly. "That's just how I am."

"I have to admit I'm more than a little interested about this military thing. I suppose we could spend some more time talking about that," she offered.

Eager to spend any more time with her he could, Dustin pressed on. "I have what's called a flight school guarantee meaning that after I finish the next school required of all Marine Corps officers, I'm guaranteed going to flight school. There's no guarantee I'll graduate, but they will send me to Pensacola."

"Florida?" Shandy said almost excitedly. "Where it's warm?"

"And where they have beautiful beaches." Dustin smiled then said, "Uh-huh. I can see us laying out on the beach sipping mai tais or margaritas."

"Oh, you can, can you?" she said as though he was getting way ahead of himself. "I'm still married, you know."

"True, but you won't be by then. Well, actually you will. You'll be married to me, so I stand corrected. No wait, I'm sitting so..."

Shandy laughed again and found herself enjoying his humor and his company.

"You know what's really pleasant on a beautiful summer day like today?" she said.

"I can think of quite a few things," he said. "Did you have something specific in mind?"

"I do. How about taking a ride on one of the ferries—just because?"

"Maybe head up to San Juan and just knock around?" Dustin suggested.

"I think I might actually enjoy that," Shandy said. "The ferry ride, that is."

"Let's finish our sinfully-good pastries then go take a ferry ride."

"Hmmm. Now why didn't I think of that?" Shandy said with a very happy smile.

When they were leaving, Dustin said, "Not that I'm embarrassed of my amazing car, but it might be a little easier to talk if we took yours."

"Good point," Shandy said. "And when it does warm up, we can turn on the AC."

Neither of them bothered trying to talk on the way back to her place, but they did look at each other once during the ride and start laughing when they knew communicating was pretty much hopeless.

They went inside mainly so Shandy could use the bathroom although she said she was thinking about changing.

"It's up to you," he told her. "But it does get chilly out on the water even during the summer."

"Ah, yes it does. Another good point," she told him. "Okay, I guess I'll stick with this. Be right back, okay?" she said before disappearing upstairs.

She peed, freshened up her makeup, then brushed out her hair again. Still unwilling to admit she wanted to look nice for Dustin, she told herself it was just a matter of looking her best, even when she pulled the drawstrings on her sweater open just a bit more before heading back downstairs.

"All set!" she said when she came back downstairs. Her purse was sitting next to him on the couch and when she went to grab it, Dustin gently grabbed her arm.

"What?" she said with a smile.

"This," he said before pulling her very gently toward him and kissing her softly on the lips.

"Dustin, what..." she tried to say before she found herself kissing him back.

When it ended a couple of seconds later she said in an almost hollow voice, "I didn't see that coming."

"It wasn't such a terrible surprise, was it?" he asked quietly as she slowly stood up with her purse in hand.

She didn't look at him as she said, "No. No it wasn't." She fidgeted with her purse then looked down at him and said, "We should probably get going, don't you think?"

"Yeah, right. We should get going," Dustin said standing up next to her.

"Thank you for the pastries this morning, by the way. They were really, really good."

"You're welcome," he told her. He reached up and softly brushed her hair back then said, "I very much enjoyed spending time with you."

Shandy looked briefly into his eyes the quickly turned away before saying, "Me, too."

They exited through the garage and when they got to her car Shandy said, "Why don't you drive?"

"Are you sure?" he asked as she handed him the keys.

"You have insurance, right?"

"Of course, but probably not enough to cover this car."

"I trust you," she said sweetly.

Dustin went around and opened her door and Shandy thanked him. Her head was still spinning from the kiss which only made things worse after the pastry shop where she'd experienced so many new and powerful emotions. A part of her was wishing she'd decided to stay home and another part of her really wanted to be with him. As he got in the car on the driver's side she found herself wishing he would reach over and take her hand or maybe even kiss her again. Rather than say how she was feeling, she only smiled then explained a couple of things about all the panels and gauges.

"Yeah, this looks more like an airplane cockpit than a car." He smiled at her then said, "Well, any car I've ever driven anyway."

Shandy had an endless list of questions about this OCS thing he'd been to and what it was all about. She'd accepted his decision to be a Marine and his dream to be a pilot, but she had no idea what the training was like or what it was all for. Dustin patiently explained everything in a simple, easy way that helped her understand what he'd gone through and what was ahead.

"So you're not a Marine yet, right?" she asked.

"No, and I can refuse my commission all the way up until I raise my right hand after graduation. That's the beauty of this program. There's no commitment after OCS."

"But you're definitely accepting this commission thing," she said as a statement of fact.

"Unless something changes dramatically like my health or something I can't anticipate," he told her. "But barring something like that, yes, I very much want to do that."

"It's the belonging aspect, isn't it?" she inquired trying to put the pieces together.

"That's a huge part of it. The other is a more practical consideration." He looked over at her and asked, "Do you remember when you asked what I planned to do with a degree in history?"

"Oh, yes. I do remember that. It seems like a tough major to find a job in."

"It is. But the military just requires a bachelor's degree. The major isn't important. I love studying history because it involves real people and actual events. So I'm studying what I want now and I'll be doing what I want next year," he explained. He smiled at her then said, "And I'm with the person I want to be with right now."

When he reached for her hand, Shandy offered it freely.

Dustin smiled at her then said, "Good call on changing cars. It would have been hard to talk in mine."

Shandy laughed then said, "No offense but more like impossible."

"I'll be able to afford a real car once I'm on active duty," he said just as a statement of fact.

"Dustin? Is it true most military people live on food stamps?" She had no idea at all and had heard that more than once.

"No, no one lives on food stamps," he explained. "However, some of the junior enlisted folks with children qualify for some level of assistance."

"What does 'junior enlisted' mean?" she asked apologizing for being so clueless.

"It's okay. Most people, especially around here, don't know anyone in the military and haven't served so how could one expect to know?" He explained the rank structure in a quick, easy way and it made a lot more sense to her.

"So you get this 'base pay' then flight pay, money for food and a house to live in?" she asked still a little confused.

"Essentially. You can live on base or rent or buy off base and they either give you the place on base rent free or pay your expenses off base. Well, most of them, that is."

Shandy didn't care about money for money's sake. She really was just interested in understanding how things worked. She now knew he wanted to fly jets but would be okay flying helicopters and that aviators basically got stationed in either Miramar, California or in some place called Cherry Point, North Carolina. Unless the got sent to Okinawa, Japan or...to war.

"I've been up to Canada and driven through Oregon down to California and over to Idaho, but that's it. I've never really traveled before."

"Does it appeal to you?" Dustin asked her.

"I think I could get used to it," she said with a smile. "How often do you get transferred? Or is that even the right word?"

He told her it was about every 3-5 years with some exceptions which depended on too many things to list especially since he didn't know all of those exceptions yet.

They talked the rest of the way to the city of Anacortes where they'd catch the ferry over to the San Juan islands. As the drove, they discussed growing up, talked about best friends, best memories, worst experiences, heartbreaks, and even touched on politics a little bit.

Shandy thought back to being Dustin's age and realized she couldn't have discussed any of the deeper topics they touched on let along the way Dustin did so quite effortlessly. She was all about boys and music and fashion and makeup and he was so...intelligent. Everything reminded him of some parallel in history somewhere and he had this uncanny ability to make the past come alive as he described an event.

She had to admit she hadn't even heard of most of the people or places he was describing and for the first time felt like he was the older person explaining things she should already know but didn't.

By the time they got in line for the ferry, her entire outlook had changed. She'd gone from having these feelings of simple curiosity to a very deep, very real sense of admiration and respect for this much younger man. A man who made her feel safe and secure and...and cared about; things she was so desperately hungry to feel but had never anticipated feeling with him.

"Looks like plenty of other people have the same idea," Dustin said as they looked at the sea of cars ahead of them.

"We have all day, right?" she said sweetly.

He smiled at her and raised her hand up and kissed the back of it. "Yes, we do."

Their turn finally came and Dustin pulled up the ramp and followed the cues and parked exactly where he'd been instructed to. He turned off the engine then said, "Do you want to walk around?"

"In a minute, okay?" she said as she sat there looking at him. "I'm kind of enjoying the quiet right now. And the company."

"Come here," Dustin said but not in a demanding way.

Shandy's heart was pounding as she leaned over and accepted his kiss. Like her, he had very soft, very full, and very kissable lips. She let go of his hand and put it on his face as he kissed her. Less than a minute passed as they explored one another's lips and tongues without a word being said.

Finally Shandy told him, "Maybe we should go walk around now."

"I agree," Dustin said. "I'll get your door for you, okay?"

He went to get out, but she grabbed his hand and said, "Dustin? I'm really glad you're persistent."

He smiled as she let go of his hand. He opened her door and helped her out then looked it.

"You wanna go up on top or look over the rail?" he asked.

"You choose," she said. "I'll follow you wherever you go."

Both of them understood the unspoken meaning in her words and Dustin put his arm around her shoulder and Shandy put hers around his lower back as he led her upstairs where they could get something to drink and see the entire harbor.

"I thought we'd have lunch on the island, if that's okay," Dustin said.

"It's very okay," she told him. "Just no more pastry, okay?"

Her smile made him very happy and he leaned over and kissed her again. "Nothing sweet. I promise."

Shandy pulled him close and said, "That was awfully sweet."

"You mean this?" he said before kissing her again.

"Uh-huh. That," she told him very quietly.

They spent some time 'up top' then went down and walked around the outer perimeter watching the seagulls and the ferry's wake behind them.

"It's kind of like nothing else even exists except for you and me and this place," Shandy said as they stood along the rail.

Dustin brushed her pretty hair back then said, "Nothing else matters, does it?" before kissing her again.

"No, and that's what scares me," Shandy told him honestly.

She turned around and looked at the water and he put his arms around her waist.

"Tell me what you're afraid of."

"I'm not sure I can," she said.

"It isn't me, is it?"

"No, of course not. You're...you're amazing."

"Yeah, I kinda am, aren't I?"

She playfully elbowed him then said, "I guess I'm worried about..." She turned around and put her hands Dustin's chest then said, "I need some time. That's all. Just a little time to think things through."

"Take all you need," he told her.

He waited for a second then said, "You know this whole confidence and persistence thing is a front, right?"

"Oh?" she said ready to listen.

"It's my defense against the way life often throws shitty things at us. There are no guarantees in life. None. Well, excluding the pleasant topic of death. That's a guarantee. But love, happiness, our health, the people we care about. It can all be gone in an instant." He gently touched her face and said, "I try to never be negative, morbid, or macabre, but everything we love and care about can be taken away in the blink of an eye."

"I know," Shandy said. "I remember watching a video of people out on the beach before a tsunami hit. A mom, a dad, kids, a dog. All happy, laughing, and playing and then, just like you said, in an instant...gone. All of them. I had to turn it off because it was too hard to watch." She put her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder.

"It's too hard because it reminds us how those people are no different than us," he said as he stroked her hair.

"Exactly. At some level, we're like ants or bugs that can be squashed without warning."

"That's why I try to be positive. I want to live and love and experience everything I can every minute of every day—for that very reason. That's why I want to be with you, Shandy. I want as much time as I can have with you to get to know you and share my life with you."

She looked up at him and said, "You're not like anyone I've ever met before, Dustin. You're passionate, honest to a fault, and as smart as anyone I know. You're also intense and yet very sweet and well, a lot of fun to be with."

"So why are you afraid?"

komrad1156
komrad1156
3,773 Followers