Neurofucker Ch. 03

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"It should be OK," said Beau and, beckoning us to follow, moved away from the rock and approached the site's visitors.

When we came within shouting distance he called to them, waving his hook and tripping over a stone. Mary and I both held him as we walked. The hairy humanoids spun around and fixed their shining black eyes on us with convincingly bestial hostility. One opened its mouth to reveal fangs of concerning length, waved one arm as if to shoo us away, and in an accent similar to Beau's, only broader, answered, "Only ape avatars are allowed here, thou knows! Get thee gone, thou importunate ninny hammers!"

Close to the Dildo a group of five apes were conferring and I felt a chill. There was clearly going to be trouble with this lot, who clearly saw Beau and Mary, and possibly me, as unwelcome intruders. Beau smiled his innocent smile.

"Please just let us get to our transport and we'll be out of your way," he said affably, commendably concealing his fear.

"That's right," I added. "We don't want to spoil your fun, or whatever it is you get up to here."

As we neared them I became aware that one had broken away from the group and was now quite close to me. It really did look like some kind of missing link or primitive man.

"Hello," it said in a woman's voice. "What's your name then?"

She edged closer and sniffed. Another shuffled over and eyed me up and down. Before I could think to defend myself one had my legs in a firm grip and the other was pulling me down. I struggled against them, rolling helplessly in the dust, but they were remarkably strong. One straddled my chest, forcing me to inhale fumes from her filthy, hairy behind. The other set about yanking on my apehood as one would a subway strap until it was painfully sore. Beau would have come to my aid had he not been too busy contending with his own assailants.

"Look, please," he entreated, as a number of apes began pulling on his pirate outfit, forcing him to hop from side to side to avoid toppling over again. "Can't we come to some kind of amicable agreement?"

"Amicable nowt!" growled their apparent representative. "Efackers, this is a right twatty avatar ye got 'ere!"

I pummelled the back of the ape on my chest, but to no avail. Her weight was impossible to shift and was nearly suffocating me. Meanwhile the other was performing oral on me with all the delicacy one could expect from an ape. Five others had gathered round to watch. I noticed they were passing an object between them and each one seemed reluctant to hold it.

It was a pair of gardening shears.

I screamed. One who seemed to hold no qualms about using such a tool on a vulnerable gorilla grabbed them from the others, grinned at me and tested them, snicking at the air before my face with the sharp blades. I screamed again and fought even more desperately against my molesters.

Suddenly there was a piercing, shrill noise that filled the perpetual dawn of the barren landscape. The apes stopped their threats and molestations and turned to face the Dildo. Through their bent, hairy legs there shone a bright pink strobing light. I was quickly abandoned by my admirers and would be castrators. A few feet from where I lay I saw Beau once more on his back with his hook and peg flailing impotently. The Dildo was a bright pink throbbing obscenity that, nevertheless, seemed to be inspiring a religious devotion in the apes. They were kneeling before it, frozen in awe. In front of it stood the curvaceous silhouette of Mary, her arms outstretched, while her ecstatic prayer could just be discerned above the electronic shriek. I scrambled to my back paws and went to help Beau who was unable to stand by himself. We made no attempt to shout above the noise and agreed, with many wild gesticulations, that making for the Dildo as quickly as possible was our best plan. We hopped and shuffled between the supplicants, casting long shadows behind us in the almost blinding pink light from the Dildo. The knob was just as troublesome to find as before, but find it we eventually did and pulled the door open. I grabbed Mary's uplifted arm and hauled her in behind us. The apes were apparently far too in awe of the Dildo to detain us.

The interior, in contrast to before, was now so bright one had to close one's eyes firmly for a while before they became adjusted to the glare. Before I managed to open them I became aware that my body was different again. I felt my chest and hips and was profoundly relieved to find that my avatar had reverted to its default setting. I opened my eyes to see my gorgeous, brawny, dark skinned body complete with silk shirt and leather trousers. I threw my head back and laughed, but moaning from a few feet away sobered me quickly.

As my eyes adjusted further I found I was standing in a room larger than the Dildo could possibly contain. Everything was bathed in a bright, slowly strobing, pink light that hurt the eyes and colored all it touched to the extent that our surroundings seemed to be throbbing like tumescent flesh. Mary stood near to me, back in her robes, looking as divine and pure as ever. We were in a circular room dotted with odd bulbous growths on the wall, a large flat screen television set opposite the door we had entered and with a table in the centre full of multifarious, arcane devices whose functions one could merely guess at, save the black old fashioned dial telephone in the centre.

Beside the table stood a stocky, middle aged man in a long tartan coat and an even longer tartan woolly scarf. A look of absolute horror troubled his cherubic face. His spherical head bore three strands of jet black hair combed across his otherwise completely bald shining pate. However, his innocent features were unmistakable. It was Beau.

Mary and I went to console our friend. It was only Mary's look of admonition that stopped me from bursting into uncontrolled peals of laughter.

The floor lurched and I guessed that we were on our way again.

Copyright © Irma Cerrutti 2010

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