Nev and Max (A Love Story) Ch. 04

***Sorry chapter 3 was so short guys, it looked a lot longer in Word. When I realized that, I got right on writing chapter 4. So here it is. My holiday gift to you. A well-deserved break from your family, holiday, and election stress. Enjoy!***

Nev was looking at himself in the bathroom mirror of the hospital after washing Max's cum out of his mouth and down the sink. He felt a little bad. Not because of the blow job, they had both wanted that, but because Max was hurt and things had turned sexual way too fast. He had heard about the honeymoon phase where couples who had recently gotten together did it every chance they got but feelings here were more than just a spur of the moment thing. Nev should have had more control. He was not a teenager with raging hormones.

He wiped his mouth on his shirt sleeve and his wet hands on his pants and walked out. Max was still lying in bed and had pulled the blankets up to his waist since he had taken his gown completely off. Nev knew he was completely naked because the gown was now lying on the floor.

Nev could have made some sexual remark about Max being ready for "round 2" but in the spirit of keeping it in his pants, he said "I can get the nurse to bring you a clean one if you want".

Max watched Nev scoop the gown up off the floor and wondered if his moods had shifted again as they so often did. Then again he could use a new gown that hadn't been slept in a day and a half.

"Yeah, that would be nice." Max said, testing the waters.

Nev saw the worried look on Max's face and smiled sweetly and walked over to the bed. He sat down on the side and gently ran his fingers through Max's hair.

"There isn't any reason to worry. I know how I typically act after we are," Nev seemed to be searching for an appropriate word, "intimate, but I am tired of lying to myself and running away from my feelings. I love you Max."

Max was tearing up. His vision was cloudy with tears before they spilled over and ran down his face. He ran a hand around to the back of Nev's neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

"I love you too. I always have and always will."

***

It became apparent to Max very quickly that Nev was not as keen on coming out as he had led him to believe. Honestly it was like nothing had changed. Nev wasn't cold to him somedays out of show anymore, he was just distant. They would stay in the same room more often now, but with the way he acted some days, Max would just as happily room with a camera man.

Max didn't want to admit to himself that it had all been about the chase. The fact that he could never have Nev was what made him want him so much. But now that they were "together", he just didn't feel the same way about Nev. At least when Nev denied feelings for him, every day was something for Max to anticipate.

It had been a few months since the hospital. Since Nev had blown his mind by finally admitting feeling for him after years of giving him the run around. Things had happened so fast Max felt as if he were caught in a whirlwind that had thrown him out just now on this other side of reality where everything he thought he wanted was nothing more than a twisted form of The Christmas Carol where the Ghost of relationships future showed Max what it would be like to be in a relationship with Nev.

Except Max was beginning to realize now that he could never truly be in a loving relationship with Nev. Nev, as hard as he was trying to be this openly gay guy, just couldn't do it. He was still going to be that frat boy who would sleep with any female to momentarily force away the thoughts of being with another man. Namely Max.

Max had no doubts that he was the only man Nev had ever fantasized about. This is something Nev had told him during one of the few times they had sex over the past few months, but it wasn't something that needed to be said. Max knew that his pushing the subject is the only thing that had finally led Nev to think this is what he really wanted.

Now what was there to do? How was he just supposed to end a relationship he had worked so many years to get?

Nev had gone down to the lobby to get them both a coffee before filming started. This was the last episode they would be filming for this season and Max was so relieved the hustle and bustle of filming would be over for a few months. But the thought of having alone time with Nev without a crowd of people was terrifying. Another nail in the coffin of their relationship. Being terrified of being forced to spend alone time with your significant other is not normal.

Max, still in the bed, took the pillow next to him and held it tightly down over his own face. Maybe he could just smother himself and he wouldn't have to deal with any of it.

Max heard Nev fighting to get the door open with a coffee in each hand so he took the pillow from his face. Sweet release would have to wait, coffee was here.

"Last day of school! Summer break is here!" Nev said jokingly as he danced over to the side of the bed. He was in a good mood today. Which was good, because the days he was in a good mood seemed to go so smoothly.

Maybe his cheerful demeanor had something to do with the legendary head Max had given him last night.

He pushed that aside. It didn't change things in the long run.

They talked to the girl they were doing the episode on, told her they would meet her later that day, quickly packed up and got on the road.

Nev and Max being the big stars of the show traveled everywhere in their own SUV. Which afforded them plenty of alone time to talk, as if they wouldn't be getting plenty of that in the months to come.

The little bit filming they did in the car was done in the first few moments of the trip so not even the somewhat professional air they had to have about them whilst on camera was gone and there was nothing but blank space. And unlike before, the air wasn't electric. There wasn't a feeling that anything could happen. Just the awkward silence that comes towards the end of a relationship. Where you know you need to bring it up but don't know what to say. Then even when you know what to say, speaking the words into existence makes it real. The other person hears and feels the words, and the end begins. The tears, the hurtful words, the slamming of doors and the refused calls.

How is a person expected to start a conversation like that? One that is going to hurt you and the person you care about?

Maybe this wasn't the best time to bring up anything. The destination was only a few hours away, and they did have to finish this episode, which would not end today, but tomorrow.

It was just postponing the inevitable but that was favorable to the alternative.

Max pulled out his phone and began to look for a place they could go after meeting the girl to do their "research". He couldn't believe after seasons of literally showing people what they do to find these people out, that they wouldn't just do it themselves. He guessed living in a fantasy land was better than confronting a person for who they actually are.

The parallel he was drawing here was incredible. Max had spent so many years chasing this dream of being in a relationship with Nev and just like the 3 seasons worth of star crossed lovers they had introduced to one another, the relationship fell apart soon after seeing the other person for who they truly are.

"What are you smiling about?" Nev asked, thinking Max had seen something funny while scrolling through his phone. No such luck. Just a hysterical man laughing at the train wreck that was his love life.

"Nothing, just thinking." Max said without thinking about how it would automatically draw a response of "about what?" from Nev.

Bring it up or lie? Ah, what the hell. Might as well tell him. Might as well get it out in the open. Get the ball in the air and into his court.

"Well... its just that I just realized you are my catfish." Max said cautiously looking over at Nev to see his reaction. He was confused, curious, and obviously a little nervous about what this meant and where Max was going.

Max cleared his throat and continued, " I just had this image of you and me in my head for years, and when you build something up like that you are bound to be..."

He couldn't say the word disappointed because he only halfheartedly meant it. Max was more disappointed in himself than he was disappointed with Nev.

Nev was nodding but staring blankly ahead at the road. His right hand was gripping the steering wheel.

"This just isn't what I imagined it would be is all." Max said defeated.

"So, you aren't happy?" Nev asked slowly, though it came out as more of a statement than a question.

Max started to speak, but Nev cut him off with an irritated tone, "This is what you wanted. You are the one who talked me into this. How can you tell me after all this time and after finally getting what you want that you aren't happy?"

His tone had gone from irritated to almost yelling there at the end. Yup, should have just kept his stupid mouth shut and brought this up later but Max's middle name might as well be "can't leave well enough alone".

"I think we should talk about this later. We do have to spend the rest of the day and tomorrow together working so... Just sorry I brought it up. Let's just drop it."

Immediately Nev retorted with, "Well I can't just forget that you casually brought up how you aren't happy with me. I don't know how you expect me to just go on about my day like this isn't a big deal."

Max tried to reassure him but before he could say anything Nev continued on with tears filling his eyes. Now he wasn't staring blankly ahead but yelling at him with tears streaming down his face.

"I finally put myself out there for you and you are telling me that it isn't good enough! Don't tell me that this isn't a big deal!" He looked back at the road and in a quiet voice said, "I told you I love you."

Max was crying at this point too. Max had never yelled at him like that, and he had never heard Nev hurt as much as he did with that last sentence.

He wanted to say something but he didn't know what, if anything could console Nev right now. So there he sat staring out the window with a hand to his mouth trying to stifle the sobs that were trying to make him spiral out into full blown ugly crying.

Nev was leaned towards his window, blankly staring at the road again and softly crying.

There was nothing more to say for now. No point in adding to the hurt.

The crying slowly stopped from both sides and when they arrived at their destination they both checked their faces in their mirrors to make sure they weren't too red from crying. That would cause people to ask questions.

They exited the car without looking at each other. The producer yelled at them both about their depressed demeanors and told them to put whatever happened aside and get themselves together.

They put on happy faces and pretended to like each other while they had to. Once off camera, they got as far away from each other as they could.

When they had finally dragged themselves through filming for the day, they headed for the hotel. Once in the car, Max spoke the first words that weren't fake and forced since they exited the car earlier.

"Can we room together so we can actually talk?"

Nev took a slow deep breath and said, "Yeah, I guess. Don't know what else there is to say."

"Could you not do that?"

"What"

"You are starting to shut down and shut me out. You said you wouldn't do that again."

Nev opened his mouth to retort but growled instead and slammed the car into gear and sped off.

Max was unable to control the slight chuckle at Nev's over dramatic flair and that made Nev even angrier.

Before he could say anything Max cut him off by saying, " You know, speeding off doesn't do much if the person you are trying to get away from is in the car with you."

He smirked at Nev who only glared back at him and then went back to staring at the road ahead.

"Let's just wait and fight in the hotel room shall we?" Nev said and with that turned the radio up so to the point that having a conversation was impossible.

It didn't matter what station it was on or what song was playing. Neither of them were really listening to it anyway. Just trying to drown out their own thoughts.

At the hotel, the walk to the room was like walking to the gallows. Putting the key in the door was like stepping up to the noose. Stepping through the door was having the floor fall out from under your feet.

Nev wandered over to the bed and sat down on the edge. He looked over towards the window avoiding looking at Max.

Max stood there in the middle of the room not really knowing what to do. He was staring at Nev and willing him to look at him.

When that failed, he walked over to the "office" set up in the corner of the room and pulled the chair in front of Nev. Sitting face to face, Nev tried to move away but Max put his hands over Nev's which were resting on his lap. There was no pressure necessary to keep him from moving. Touching was enough to overwhelming Nev's senses.

With that Nev began to cry. Full blown, let it all go, sobbing. He bent forward towards Max and caught his face on his shoulder. Max slid over to the bed and held Nev.

Max whispered pleadingly, "Please, please, let's talk about this. I'm not saying it's over. I'm not."

Nev sat up and managed to choke out between sobs, "Then what are you saying? Please explain it to me because it sounds like it's over."

Max took his hands and said, "It just feels like you are still holding back. Like you are still afraid of what people will think of you and me."

"I don't feel like I can have a real, loving relationship with you. And that is what I had pictured for us since college. I love you, but I don't think you really truly love me."

The last few words came slowly as he had to fight to get them past the lump forming in his throat. And though he had been trying to be the strong one for once, he couldn't hold back the flood of tears.

Nev pulled Max to him so that his head was on his chest. He ran his fingers through his amazing grey hair and wondered how many more times he would have that luxury. He put his face down into his hair, "I'm trying. I know I'm difficult but I'm trying to be the man you deserve."

"I love you. I'm sorry it took so long for me to admit that. I don't know why you stayed by my side as long as you have but I'm so happy you did. I don't know what I would do if you weren't there for me."

Max lifted his head to look at Nev, but Nev met him with a kiss. That kiss turned in several that became hungrier each time. Nev ran his fingers into Max's hair and Max did the same to Nev both trying to draw the other closer and deeper into the kiss though that was quite impossible.

The two were already lost in one another, fueled by this hunger, this need to be closer to one another. At least in sex there was nothing but the good. That's what they both needed, and at least in sex, were willing to give themselves over completely to one another. Satiating the hunger of their lover even if that meant destroying themselves.

Nev fell back and Max eagerly followed. They broke off kissing just long enough to pull off their shirts and then snapped back together like magnets.

Max trailed kisses down his jawline, down his neck then buried his face in the thick hair on Nev's chest. This only lasted for a second before he moved lower, shifting in the bed and unfastening Nev's belt and pants. He grabbed pants and boxers and slid them down together as to not waste time.

His erection sprang out which Nev began to work whilst watching Max wiggle out of his own pants and boxers.

Max placed a knee on the bed between Nev's legs and went back in for more kisses that slowly followed the same path down as before, this time teasing him even more by kissing his pelvic bones.

Nev had stopped stroking himself when Max got down there thinking he would go right in for the kill, but this teasing made droplets of precum form. Max noticed this when he took Nev's cock in his hand ran his tongue from the very base up to the tip which he rolled over with his tongue first and then closed his lips just slightly below the head and gently sucked while lifting his head up. Max went back down to the base and with his free hand, massaged Nev's balls while running his tongue back up to the tip. He made eye contact with Nev as he reached the tip. Max winked and flicked his tongue over that sensitive spot and Nev's eyes rolled back.

With this Max stopped massaging his balls and brought out that hand for the real gameplay. Max went as deep as he could leaving as much saliva as he could manage to give his hand some lubrication. Once everything was moving smoothly, his hand was working like an extension of his mouth.

Very quickly Nev was on the verge of cumming, but Max had other plans. Max left a very upset Nev to find the lube in his bag. The look Nev was giving him made him chuckle.

"You're cute when you're mad." Max said as he climbing back into bed and on top of Nev. He grabbed both their cocks with one hand and stroked both of them together. They locked back into a kiss.

Nev took the small lube bottle from Max's hand and squirted a bit on their cocks. This change in lubrication made a world of difference. It made what already felt amazing feel 10 times better. And of course this was lubing Nev up so he could fuck Max senseless for teasing him.

When Max seemed to be really enjoying himself, Nev grabbed a handful of hair and forced his way on top of Max. Nev grabbed the bottle of lube to add a little more for good measure.

Max wasn't used to being on his back. It was much easier to do this with him on his stomach, but with Nev being the one on charge if this is how he wanted to do it, this is how they would do it.

Max had his knees up which was very emasculating but not anymorso than getting fucked in the ass.

So he looked lovingly up at Nev who was smiling and licked his lips because he was now the one in control. Nev lightly teased his entrance before sticking it in. Max had spit in his hand and was now stroking his cock.

Nev entered Max, slowly at first but quickly found a steady stroke. Nev now loved watching the look on Max's face change from pain to pleasure in a matter of seconds.

Nev wrapped his arm around Max's legs so he could lift him up a bit and get a faster stroke. This allowed Nev to fuck him just a little bit harder and faster which is what he deserved for teasing him and leaving him so close without cumming. Nev was not quite so cruel though. Not letting someone cum is absolute torture. So when Max began to tumble over the edge Nev watched lovingly as Max's eyes rolled back, he moaned louder than he already had been moaning and his cum shot onto his hairless chest.

Nev allowed himself to fall over the edge as well now cumming inside Max and slowly pulling out. Nev collapsed beside Max and they bathed in the afterglow for a few moments.

Max excused himself to go clean up and Nev soon heard what sounded like a bath running.

When there had been plenty of time for cleanup to have happened, and the water was still running, he poked his head in to see what was going on.

Max was indeed in a bath. A bath that was absolutely full of bubbles. Where they had all come from he had no idea.

"Come have a bath with me." He said smiling and sitting back with both arms outstretched on the sides of the tub as if the bath were some kind of luxury that he was generous enough to have offered.

Nev smiled. At least for the moment Max seemed happy and everything was ok. So he slowly walked over to the tub and stepped in.

He sank down into the hot, bubbly water. Max's smile was just as warm and inviting. He moved in for a kiss and Max moved forward to meet him. Max broke away from the kiss and turned around so that he could lean against Nev.