Never My Love

As always, this story is pure and total fiction so; remember that anything CAN and usually DOES happen in a fictional story. One more thing, this story is dedicated to two of the kindest, most sincere people that I know, and I won't mention their full names because they know who I'm talking about, don't you, Peter and Trish? LOL!

As far as everyone else is concerned, I hope that God blesses you each and every one, especially the kind folks I just mentioned. One more thing, all of the characters mentioned in this story are purely fictional. Oh, and please don't forget to vote...

MoogPlayer

P.S. This particular story is a long one, the longest one I've ever written, my books included, so; be prepared to sit down and stay a while once you start reading this.

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"Fate is the one thing that can not be willed, changed, or controlled; it can only be accepted..."

Aristophanes

450 B.C. - 388 B.C.

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"Oh, my goodness," she suddenly gasped, "Forgive me for not recognizing you."

"Don't worry about it," I coldly replied, "People seldom do these days."

"Oh, no, please," she apologetically said, "That's not what I meant."

"Is that right," I mordantly asked her, "Then tell me, what did you mean?"

~~~~~~

Chapter One

Hi, my name is Jacob Benson, but my friends and family members all call me Jake. I stand about six feet, two inches tall, weigh somewhere in the neighborhood of two hundred and fifteen, to two hundred and twenty pounds; I have sky blue eyes, and my long dark brown, almost black, hair is beginning to get a little grey at my temples.

I retired from the music industry a few years ago after almost thirty years of playing rock and roll. I'm fifty-three, going on fifty-four years old, but what you're about to read began right before I graduated high school.

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I grew up in a small town that I won't even bother mentioning the name of, but if it's a location that you want, suffice it to say that it is about fifty miles south of Houston, Texas, down on the coast of the Gulf of Mexico.

I have two female siblings, twin sisters, named Leah and Laura, who are almost two years younger than me. I love them both dearly and I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to either of them, hence the reason things happened to me the way they did.

My Mom and Dad are both very hard working people; Dad, whose name is Jack, was a U.S. Marshall, and Mom, whose name is Naomi, was a Professor at a Junior College not too far from home.

I was a pretty normal kid growing up, with the exception that Mom put me behind a piano when I was five, which, is part of what this story is about, but I'll tell you more about that in a little while.

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Around the age of eleven or twelve was when I began to look at girls differently. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't an idiot, and I knew all about the birds and the bees; but I just felt like there were more important things that I needed to be doing with myself at that time in my life.

I'd played at more than several piano recitals by that time, and I knew then that being a professional musician was what I wanted to do with my life. Believe it or not, both of my parents supported me in my decision as well. Hell, Mom not only had a beautiful singing voice, but also minored in voice when she was in college. Therefore, she helped me find a voice teacher, because she told me that she thought I had what it took to maybe one day sing and play professionally.

Don't get me wrong, I had no delusions of grandeur, because even as young as I was at the time, I knew that music wasn't an easy profession to break into, regardless of how good I, or anyone else thought I was. But still, I studied very hard throughout school, and learned to play and sing every piece of music that was placed in front of me, as well as every piece of music that I could get my hands on.

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When I got to high school I studied very hard. My band teacher and my choir teacher both encouraged me to do the very best that I could. However, it never fails that once a guy turns fourteen or fifteen, he begins to stray from his studies because of the fact that when his hormones start kicking in, he develops a tendency of trying to attract members of the opposite sex; and I was no exception.

In my case, it was a girl named Robyn Beryl that I had the hots for. She was in the same grade as me, and had transferred in from another school district at the start of my ninth grade, or freshman year in high school; not to mention that was as beautiful as could be. She had long, honey blonde hair that fell to just past her waist, and bright blue eyes along with a body to die for, or so I thought, even though we were only fourteen, going on fifteen at the time.

Needless to say, every guy in our school went batshit the moment they first laid eyes on her, too; and like before, I was no exception. But, I was very surprised to find out that she and I shared four out of six of my classes together that year so; I made certain that I introduced myself to her at the earliest given opportunity.

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Because we had so many classes together, Robyn and I quickly became good friends, or so I thought; and it took hardly any time at all before I realized that I was absolutely crazy about her. However, because I was really shy around girls back then, I was also too embarrassed to ask her out. Little did I realize that I would've had better luck jumping off the long end of a short pier where dating Robyn was concerned?

So, during my freshman year in high school, I sat watching from a distance while other guys asked her out on dates, which, she'd accepted. I couldn't tell her that I'd fallen in love with her, because I was certain that she would've laughed in my face, just like rest of my classmates would've done. I didn't think that I was ugly, but I also didn't think I was worthy of someone as beautiful as Robyn either, or should I say that, because of her lack of interest, I was made to feel that way.

After finally realizing that it was hopeless, I resigned myself to the fact that Robyn and I would never be anything more than just friends, regardless of how badly it hurt just being near her. So, for the rest of the time I was in high school, I simply kept my nose to the grindstone and worked hard to keep my grades up.

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It was during my senior year in high school that my life took an extremely, as well as exceptionally different turn. My twin sisters were now sophomores, and of course, were very popular among the people that I attended high school with. All my life, their little female friends always went on and on to Leah and Laura about what a hunk they thought I was. Of course, when they were little, I though it was cute, but now that my sisters' friends had started growing up and were no longer little girls, I was of a different opinion.

Still though, I'd known these little cuties for practically all of my life, and for me to make a play for any of them would've not only infuriated both of my sisters, but it also would've made me feel like I was more or less robbing the cradle. Besides, my heart still belonged to Robyn Beryl and always would as far as I was concerned. Little did I realize what lay in wait for me on the not too distant horizon?

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What I'm about to tell you is what drastically, as well as permanently, changed the way I looked at life. One afternoon in March of that year, right before Spring Break, I was in the band hall, which adjoined the theater. These two dumb asses that I went to school with, Ricky Morris, and Teeter Johnston, were both hiding up in the Spotlight Booth of the theater smoking a joint. However, they got careless and accidentally lit fire to the rack of extra gel lenses for the spotlight, and from there the fire very quickly got out of control.

The fire bells immediately went off, and people began to flee from the building. However, I knew that both of my sisters had Drama Class at that time and were somewhere in the theater; and because I didn't see them among those who were leaving the building, I suddenly became very afraid. Several people tried to stop me from going back into what was now a fiery, out of control, inferno, but my sisters were in there and I wasn't about to let anything happen to either one of them.

I grabbed and ripped a loose piece of canvas that had been placed on walls of the band hall, for the purposes of soundproofing the room, which was right next door to the theater, and then away I went in search of them. Before I even got to the door, I saw Leah coming out of the building coughing her head off and screaming at the top of her lungs.

I quickly took her by the shoulders and asked, "Where's Laura, where is she?"

"You've got to help her, Jake," Leah cried, coughing, "She's trapped in the girl's dressing room."

"You stay out here," I told her, "I'm going in after her."

"Please hurry, Jake," my sister cried, "Hurry, before it's too late."

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I ran into the building that had now become way beyond a very dangerous place to be. Everywhere I looked I saw that the fire was rapidly consuming everything in sight. Flaming pieces of blazing ceiling tiles were crashing down all around me, every bit of it on fire. The whole ceiling of the theater was now a blinding sheet of flame, as the fire began to swiftly creep not only down the walls, but also across the wooden floor of the stage, drawing ever nearer as the seconds ticked swiftly away.

I knew that I was going to have to find my sister quickly, or else she would die; and that was something that was totally unacceptable to me, even if I had to give my own life in order to save hers.

"God," I silently but quickly prayed, "Please give me the strength to find my little sister. I can't leave here without her, I just can't, please, Lord, help me find her"

"LAURA," I began to yell, "WHERE ARE YOU? LAURA!!!! IT'S ME, JAKE. WHERE ARE YOU, BABY GIRL? LAURA!!!! LAURA, WHERE ARE YOU?"

Suddenly from behind me, I heard a very terrified, as well as very familiar female voice screaming, "JAKE!!! JAKE!!! WE'RE IN HERE!!! PLEASE HELP US...JAKE!!!!"

I still had sense enough to know where I was, and I knew that Laura's voice was coming from the female dressing room, and with as much power and strength that I could muster, I kicked the door as hard as I could, making it fly open to reveal my sister, Laura, and one of her female classmates, a girl named Teri Palmer, huddling beneath a table inside the girls dressing room, with fear clearly written across their pretty little faces.

"COME WITH ME, NOW," I shouted, pulling both of them from beneath the table where they'd been hiding, underneath the canvas cloth that I was using to cover myself with. We still weren't out of danger yet, because once we were all three together, and as I began leading them out of the building, we had to dodge the pieces of ceiling that were falling onto the ground in every direction we looked, making a fiery maze between where we were and the door that we were trying desperately to get to...

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By this time the fire department had arrived, and firemen who were wearing flame retardant clothing, now stood all around us, helping to lead the three of us to the door and then from the building. Laura and her friend made it out untouched, but right before I breached the threshold of the door, a huge piece of the flaming ceiling came crashing down on top of me, which not only knocked the small piece of canvas off of me, but also landed directly on top of the exposed skin of my left side.

The moment I hit the ground, I felt strong blasts of cold water on me coming from every direction, extinguishing the flames that felt hot upon my skin. Unfortunately I still received second and third degree burns to the left side of my face, neck and arm, as well as halfway down my torso. The only thing I knew to do was to cover my eyes with my hands the moment the ceiling came crashing down on me, and the last thing I remembered hearing, were the sounds of sirens as the emergency vehicles began arriving on the scene...

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GALVESTON BURN CENTER

GALVESTON, TEXAS

8 HOURS LATER

I woke to the sounds of machines whirring and beeping all around me. I didn't know where I was, but I was aware of the fact that my both of my eyes were completely bandaged, and I couldn't see a thing.

"Where am I?" I fearfully asked, trying to keep from panicking, "What's happening?"

"It's okay, baby, you're in the hospital," I heard my mother sniffling; "Thank God you're alive."

"Where are Leah and Laura?" I asked, still afraid, "Are they okay?"

"We're right here, Jake," Leah cried, taking my left hand and holding it to her face, "You were so brave, big brother, and I love you so much."

"Would someone mind telling me how I got here?" I asked, "The last thing I remember is trying to get out of the theater at school, and it was burning all around me."

"You saved mine and Teri Palmer's lives, Jake," Laura wept, firmly holding onto my right hand and kissing it, making it damp with her tears, "You pushed us out of that burning building before you...." and then she began to cry so hard that she couldn't continue.

"You saved your sisters' lives, Jake," I heard my Dad tell me in a shaky voice, gently taking my left hand from Leah's grasp, "And I can't begin to tell you how proud of you that I am, son."

"I had to save them," I nonchalantly replied, "They're not only my sisters, but they're also my responsibility. Besides; there was no way in hell that I was about to let anything happen to either one of them."

"You're such a good boy, Jake," Mom sniffled, gently taking my hand from my father's grip, "You've always been a good boy, baby."

"Am I going to be alright?" I asked, feeling better because I now knew that my sisters were okay, "The whole left side of my body feels like it's numb."

"The doctor told us that you received second and third degree burns to over thirty percent of your body, son," Dad said, "But she also told us that you're going to live, and that's what's most important."

"Am I blind?" I asked, beginning to panic again, "Tell me that I'm going to be able to see again...please..."

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"The reason that we covered your eyes with bandages is because we wanted to make sure that you didn't receive any ocular injuries," a female doctor, told me later that day, "I'm going to remove the bandages from your eyes the first thing tomorrow morning, okay?"

"So, I'm not going to be blind, then?" I asked, "Please, tell me the truth, Doctor."

"No," she said, a smile on her face evident by the sound of her voice, making me feel much better just then, "You're not going to be blind, Mister Benson."

"Please," I chuckled, "My name is Jake, and not Mister Benson."

"Okay, then," she slightly chuckled, "You're not going to be blind, Jake. The bandages were just a precautionary measure."

"Whew," I smiled, very relieved, "I was really scared for a minute there, Doc."

"Come on now," she gently replied, "From what I've heard about you, you're not afraid of anything."

"I don't know where you got your information from," I replied, "But whoever told you that is full of shit clear to their ears."

"Fair enough, but there is something you need to be made aware of though," she told me, making certain that I understood her "You're going to have some very nasty scars, Jake so; you'd better prepare yourself for it right now."

"Please tell me that I'm not going to look like a monster, Doc," I anxiously replied, "Okay?"

"You don't look like a monster," she very calmly answered, "But you definitely need to understand that you have been burned and that..."

"If I look like a monster, then I don't want to see my face, and that's final, Doc," I adamantly interrupted her, becoming more than just a little upset the process, "People will turn away from me because I look gross, and I'll never be able to play music anywhere, ever again."

"Please try to relax, sweetie," she softly told me, "I'll be able to fix it with plastic surgery, Jake; I promise you, okay?"

"I'm sorry Doctor, uh...," I said, "Damn, I don't even know your last name."

"It's Matthews," she smiled, taking my hand, "My name is Doctor Ashlyn Matthews; but you can call me just plain old Ashlyn, okay, Jake?"

"Thank you, Ashlyn," I smiled, "I'll bet you're as pretty as you sound."

"Jacob Daniel Benson," Mom playfully scolded me, having just come back into my room, "You're supposed to be hurt so; stop flirting with the pretty Doctor."

"Ah," I grinned, "So you are as pretty as you sound, huh?"

"I want you to try and get some rest," Doctor Ashlyn smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow; okay, Tiger?"

"Okay," I said, "But can I have some aspirin, or something? My whole body hurts."

"I'll bet it does," she softly replied, gently patting my right hand, "I'll go get something for you from the nurse's station, and then I'll bring it right back in. How will that be?"

"That'll be great," I smiled, "Thanks, Doc."

"You're welcome, Jake," she softly replied, as she gently patted my right hand again, "I'll be back in here with some pain medication for you in a few minutes," and then I heard my door close.

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Ashlyn returned a few moments later, and while she was injecting the medication into my IV port, she told me, "You're going to feel something in a minute, Jake, and it's probably going burn for maybe a couple of seconds at the very most; but you won't feel anything after that, I promise," and no sooner had she told me that when I began to feel a slight stinging where the IV needle made contact with my skin.

A few moments later I felt like I was floating on a cloud; and in doing so, I smiled, and told Doctor Matthews, "I don' know what it was that you gave me, but I feel real good right now."

"I gave you some Demerol," she grinned, "Not only will it help your pain, but it will also help you get some rest until I come back tomorrow."

"Mmm, this feels real good," I smiled, "Thanks Doc, I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome, sweetie," she smiled, gently patting my right hand one last time, "I'll be back tomorrow so, in the mean time, I want you to try and get some rest, okay?" and then she left me to enjoy the buzz I was getting from the medicine she'd given me, of course I wasn't about to tell her that though.

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"Jeez, Jake," Leah teased, waiting until Mom and Dad had followed Doctor Matthews out into the hall before she started in on me, "Here you are in the hospital, you're hurt, and you're still being a horn dog. You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

"She's right, Big Brother," Laura giggled along, "You really ought to be ashamed."

"Horse shit," I laughed, "I got burned saving both of your dumb asses so; you two bitches need to leave me alone."

"Oh yeah," Leah snottily replied, "You need to watch your language and quit being such a hateful fucker, you asshole."

"She's right," Laura also curtly said, "Watch your language, shit head."

"I think all three of you need to watch your language," I heard Mom suddenly scolding us; "And you girls need to be nicer to your brother...both of you."

"Yeah," I laughed, sticking my tongue out at where I thought my sisters were standing, "Mom's right so; there."

"You listen to me, Jake," Mom teased, "One of the few places that you haven't been burned is on your little ass; but if you don't knock this crap off right now, don't think for a second that I won't set it on fire with a belt, hurt or not."

"Yes, Mommy," I softly chuckled, "I love you."

"I love you, too," she chuckled, "But you're still being a little shit because of the way that medicine has got you feeling so; stop it."

"Okay," I grinned, "I'll be good...for now."

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The next morning I woke up feeling very sore, not to mention the fact that the whole left side of my body, from the waist up, felt like it was on fire. I called the nurse in who told me that she would immediately let the doctor know that I was awake, and that in the mean time, someone would be in shortly to feed me my breakfast.