Never My Love

~~~~~~

"Oh my," Doctor Deborah Mesner smiled, after meeting my sisters, "What a wonderful surprise. It's such a pleasure to meet you two...I saw the both of you at the wedding, but I had no idea that you girls were related to Jake."

"Aren't they simply adorable, dear?" Harry grinned, and then turned to Ash and asked, "Do you have anything on the boards for this afternoon, Ashlyn?"

"No sir," she softly smiled, "At least not unless anything has been posted in the past thirty minutes."

"Good," Harry smiled, receiving a knowing look from Deborah, "Would the four of you like to have dinner with us this evening?"

"Regrettably, I've got band practice this evening, and won't be able to make it," I graciously smiled, "But that doesn't mean that Ash and the girls can't come. How would that be?"

"That would be wonderful," Deborah warmly replied, "Would seven o'clock be too early?"

"Not at all," Ashlyn excitedly smiled, "We'll see you then."

"Take the rest of the day off, Ash," Harry smiled, "That way you'll have enough time to be able to spend a little time with Jake before the three of you come over tonight."

"Thank you both," Ashlyn softly replied, giving Harry and Deborah both a familial hug, "We look forward to it."

"How wonderful," Deborah sweetly grinned, "And be sure to dress casually..."

~~~~~~

I drove my Corvette back to the house while the girls rode in the Jag with Ash in order to be able to talk to the girls and give them a history of Deborah and Harry Mesner, as Ash later told me.

"The Mesners seem like very nice people," Leah commented, on the way home, as Ash later told me.

"They really are, Lee-Lee," Ash sadly smiled, "Deborah had a twin sister who was killed in an accident when the train she was a passenger on derailed. Ever since then, she said that she feels like a big part of her is missing. I know that of all people, you girls can understand what that might feel like."

"How terrible," Leah sadly replied, reaching up from the back seat and placing her hand upon Laura's shoulder, as Laura grabbed Leah's hand, "I don't even want to think about it..."

~~~~~~

Once we all got home, I made certain that everything was ready for rehearsal that night, as we only had a few days left until the we played at the Music festival. While Ashlyn and the girls were out by the pool, I suddenly got an idea for a song, and after picking up my guitar, I hammered out the chords that began to take shape until I'd completed what I'd started.

After I'd written down the melody and had hummed it through until I was satisfied with it, I began the process of writing suitable lyrics that would go well with the driving rock tune that started it all.

Until now, most of the stuff that I'd written had been the slow, ballad type of stuff that is commonly sung with the piano as the accompanying instrument. However, my rock and roll influences were very evident in this song, not to mention the lyrical content. It was a song about a guy (me) who had gladly risked his life to save someone close to him (my little sister); and then feeling like an outcast until he met someone (Ashlyn) who not only healed his broken heart and weary soul, but ended up becoming the woman of his dreams.

I know that I've spoken about what happened to me already, but what I didn't talk about was how I still had those terrible scars when I received my diploma at my high school graduation. Everyone in my class still remembers me having the scars when I walked across the stage, because I was already out of high school before Ashlyn performed the plastic surgeries that really began to make a difference in how I looked. In other words, no one got to see my "new face" because the really important surgeries hadn't taken place until right after I'd graduated high school; because Ashlyn wanted to wait until I had healed a little bit more before she began the reconstructive surgeries that made me look the way I do now.

When I'd finished writing the song, as well as after having sung it through a few more times, I took my guitar out to the pool so that Ashlyn and my sisters could be the first to hear it; and to say that I was excited would be a very large understatement. Besides, this was the first time I'd written about my experiences concerning the fire, the scars it left upon me, and last but certainly not least, the feelings I'd experienced as a result of it.

As I look back now, I realize that by writing that particular song, I was taking the first step when it came to dealing with the demons that the fire had left in its wake. I also realized that once I'd completely ridded myself of the painful memories of that day that happened so long ago, not only would I be totally free, but in my mind; I would become the man that my beautiful Ashlyn told me that I already was as far as she was concerned....Hence the reason I named the song, "Out of The Fire"...

~~~~~~

Chapter Twenty

"Hey, ladies," I widely grinned, holding my guitar in one hand, and my chord chart and lyric sheet in the other, "I just wrote this new song and I want your opinion."

"Then sit down and play it for us, baby," Ashlyn excitedly smiled, pulling a chair out for me to sit down in, "If it's anything like the last one you wrote, it's going to be a good one."

"I heard that," Leah grinned, "Jake is a great songwriter, even if he is my big brother."

"So, tell us," Laura asked, "What's this song about?"

"I'll tell you what," I knowingly smiled, "Why don't I play it for you, and then you can tell me what it's about, okay?"

"You've got a deal, Big Brother," she giggled, "Play it!"

I began the song with singing the first verse at a nice semi-fast rhythm, and then as it began to build exponentially, I went into the first chorus while the three of them listened closely, then I played the second verse, followed by the second chorus, and then after playing the next verse where Keith would be playing a smoking lead line, I hit the bridge, exploding into the last chorus, repeating the last line of the chorus three more times until the song came to an end.

Leah squealed as she jumped up and hugged my neck, telling how good she thought the song was. Ashlyn had a very warm and tender smile on her face because, as she later told me; she knew that I was on the road to becoming healed. Laura, on the other hand, simply stood up, gently took my guitar out of my hands and handed it to Ashlyn, and then with huge tears pouring down her pretty little cheeks, she sat in my lap and threw her arms around me and cried, "I never really thanked you for saving my life, Jake...so; thank you, from the bottom of my heart, Big Brother. I love you so much," and then she tucked her beautiful little face into my chest and continued to weep.

"Shh," I tenderly soothed her, "It's okay, baby girl; you don't have to thank me for that. You're my baby sister...I had to save you because I love you; and I can't imagine my life without you in it. Besides, I know that you would've done the same thing for me, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would've," she sniffled, "I'm not brave like you are, and even though I would have been scared to death, I still would've done the same thing for you."

"I'll let you in on a little secret, Laura honey," I quietly soothed her; "I'm not as brave as you think I am. I was terrified when I went in there, but I knew that I had to get you out and so I went in there anyway."

"You're not afraid of anything, Jake," Laura sniffled, "You've always been here for me and Lee-Lee...all our lives."

"That's what people who love and care about each other are supposed to do, sweetie," I softly replied, wiping her tears with the handkerchief I pulled from my back pocket, "But I think you should know that there are a bunch of things that I'm very afraid of."

"That's a load of crap," she softly smiled, "Name one thing that you're afraid of."

"Alright, I'll tell you," I replied, gently pulling her back away from me so that I could look into her eyes, "I'm terrified of the thought of something bad happening to you, Lee-Lee, Ashlyn, and let's not forget about Mom and Dad."

"I guess I can understand that," she said, "But I still think you're one of the bravest guys I've ever known..."

~~~~~~

My band mates began arriving at the house around six o'clock that evening, and of course Ash, Leah and Laura were still there getting ready to go to Harry and Deborah Mesner's house for dinner. Of course both of my sisters had gone "Gah-Gah" over Keith and Rob ever since they'd met them at the party the past weekend; and I could tell that the guys were attracted to my sisters as well. I had no problem with it, hell, my sisters are both beautiful so; what guy wouldn't find them attractive?

However, I could also tell that both Rob and Keith didn't feel comfortable enough to get my permission to ask Leah or Laura out on a date, and although I thought that it was funny as hell, I began to develop a deep respect for Keith and Rob that lasts to this day. Still though, I could tell that Leah had the hots for Keith, and being the outspoken person that she is, she would not be deterred.

"Jake," she said, pulling me into the kitchen for the purposes of privacy, "I really like Keith, and I can tell that he likes me too."

"Yeah, so," I knowingly grinned, "What am I supposed to do about it?"

"He wants to ask me out, but he's afraid of pissing you off," she flatly said, "Tell him that it's alright if he wants to take me out on a date...please?"

Both of my sisters knew that I could never deny them anything they'd ever asked of me, so, I looked at her, and still wanting to mess with her a little bit, I grinned and asked her, "Did he actually say that he wanted to ask you out, Lee-Lee?"

"No, not in so many words," she said, "But I can still tell that he wants to...call it woman's intuition."

"Oh, alright," I sighed, "I'll talk to him, okay?"

"Good," Laura said, suddenly popping into the kitchen, having heard the conversation Id been having with Leah, "Because I want you to talk to Rob for me...please, Big Brother, please?"

"Aw hell," I groaned, both of them squealing because they knew I'd given in, "I'll talk to them the first chance I get...but you two had better be on your best behavior around those guys. They're good friends of mine as well as an integral part of this band. Do I make myself clear?"

"You worry too much, Jake," Leah, giggled, kissing my cheek.

"She's right," Laura grinned, kissing my other cheek, "Oh, and don't let those two go anywhere just in case you guys get done practicing before we get back this evening, okay?"

"Get the hell outta here," I teased, kissing both of their pretty cheeks, "Harry and Deborah are expecting you guys to be there before long..."

~~~~~~

After Ashlyn had taken my sisters with her to the Mesner's house, everyone was set up and ready to begin rehearsals. I remembered that I'd been elected earlier to write some original music to play at the festival, and in doing so, I presented copies of my new song to every member of the band.

"Holy shit, Jake," Camryn grinned after reading the lyrics, "This is some pretty powerful stuff. I think we ought to open our show with this one," and then looking around the room, she asked, "What do guys think?"

"I don't know," Jessie teased, "We haven't heard it yet...Jake."

"If you're waiting on me then you're backing up, girlie," I chuckled, picking up my guitar, "Here we go," and then I began to play it, immediately garnering the attention of every single member of the band from the first note I played.

When I was done, the room became as silent as a tomb, until Joanie, who stood up and began to clap her hands together, caused everyone else in the room to do the same thing; and it was at that moment that I could feel not only the respect that my peers were showing me, but also the same love for me that I had for them.

"That's definitely a number one song, Jake," Jessie said, after the applause had stopped, "But I'm curious about what inspired you to write it."

"I guess I never told you guys," I quietly said, "Did I?"

"Told us what, bro," Rob compassionately asked, "What're you talking about, Jake?"

Then suddenly I remembered how neither Ashlyn nor my little sisters had relayed much of my being burned when asked about it, making me choose to do the same.

"I got burned in a barbequing accident," I lied, "Someone accidentally knocked over the barbeque pit while I was grilling and my face got burned a little; it was no big deal, really. Ashlyn fixed it for me."

"It doesn't matter," Camryn smiled, "This is still a damned good song, and I can't wait to learn it..."

~~~~~~

It took the rest of my band mates no more than five minutes to learn my new song, "Out of the Fire," before they had it down perfectly. Of course I knew that they would because of the fact that they were all so brilliant, and when we took a short break, Camryn surprised all with a bit of news that only added to the adrenalin that was already pumping through or veins.

"I've got some news," Camryn smiled, "Guess who's going to be the headline act at the Music Festival?"

"I don't know," I grinned, "Who is it?"

"Rick Wakeman," she excitedly replied, "And guess what else?"

"Come on, Cam," Jessie giggled, "You're killing us with all of this guessing stuff. Damn, girl...just tell us."

"Alright, I'll yell you," Camryn excitedly smiled, "There's an audition on Thursday afternoon starting at two-thirty, and whoever passes the audition gets to open for him."

"By "him" do you mean Rick Wakeman?" I asked grinning.

"Of course, ya big doofus," Camryn teased, "Who the hell else did you think I was talking about, Jake? Damn...remind me to tell Ashlyn that she should've fixed your brain when she fixed your face."

"Bite me," I laughed, "Miss Smart Ass."

"Uh huh," she knowingly grinned, "If Ashlyn wasn't such a sweetheart, and I didn't love her so much, I would've bitten you a long time ago, handsome."

"Thanks, Cam," I humbly smiled, my face turning bright red, "That was really sweet of you to say."

"Oh, my God, look at him blush," Janie loudly giggled, "Isn't that just absolutely adorable?"

"Come on, you two," Keith said, in my defense, "Why don't you leave the man alone and stop being such mean bitches all the time?" making the room overflow with laughter.

"So, do you guys want to audition?" I asked, "I'm up for it if everybody else is."

"Hell yeah," Camryn smiled, "Besides, there are going to be A and R representatives there from five different record labels; and the winner also gets a whole hour to play at the festival on the Friday when they open for Rick Wakeman the following Saturday night."

Needless to say, we all agreed, and therefore took the rest of the evening to get all of our originals listed in the order we wanted to play them in. It had a total of sixteen originals with three or four cover tunes mixed in, which more than wrapped up an hour's time slot.

Still though, as a keyboard player, I was simply beside myself at the possibility of being able to open for someone who had basically been like a mentor of sorts to me as a young student of rock and roll. It made me realize in the back of my mind, that I was going to have to keep a tight reign on my emotions when it came time for Covenant to audition, or I might screw up and spoil it for my peers, who'd become like a family to me so; therefore, failure was not an option for me...

~~~~~~

Ashlyn arrived home with Leah and Laura about thirty minutes before practice was over, getting there just in time to hear us play the new song I'd written, "Out of the Fire," one last time before we stopped for the night.

"Oh, my God, you guys," she excitedly grinned, "That sounded absolutely fantastic, really."

"I agree," Leah said, smiling brightly at Keith, "That sounds like something you'd hear on the radio."

"It sure does," Laura replied; her eyes fixed on Rob, "I think you guys should get a record deal."

"Thanks, Leah," Keith smiled, winking at her, "But that's easier said than done."

"Maybe not," Rob softly replied, looking at me with his face burning a bright red color because my sister, Laura, simply couldn't take her eyes off of him, "Tell them what we're going to do this coming Thursday afternoon, Jake."

With that in mind, I informed Ashlyn and my sisters of the up and coming audition, as well as the reasons behind it, and also who was going to be the headline act at the festival on Saturday.

"Oh, wow," Ash happily smiled, hugging me while she sweetly kissed my lips, "And if there are going to be people from five different record labels in attendance, I'll bet you any amount of money in the world that you guys will get at least two, maybe even three offers on a record deal."

"Wouldn't that be nice?" I smiled, and then suddenly remembering my earlier promise to Leah and Laura before they went to Harry and Deborah Mesner's house, I looked at Keith and Rob and told them, "I need to talk to you guys about something before you leave, if you don't mind."

"Sure, Jake," Keith smiled, "Whatever you need, Bro."

"Uh oh," Rob said, "We're not in trouble, are we?"

"Not at all," I chuckled, "Hang out for a few minutes; it's dark outside; and I need to walk Jessie and Janie to their van, and Camryn, to her car..."

~~~~~~

After I made sure that Jessie and Janie were in their vehicle, Joanie had already left with Randy; I walked with Camryn to make sure that she got into her car safely, as it was parked about half a block away.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you earlier, Jake," Camryn quietly said, "But there's something that I need to tell you, and I don't want you to take it the wrong way, okay?"

"Of course not," I smiled, "What is it, Cam?"

"Well, it's no secret that I think you're one of the most handsome men I've ever met," she told me, "But I also want you to know that I love you very much."

"Wait a minute, Camryn," I uncomfortably replied, "You know that I..."

"I knew you'd get the wrong idea," she chuckled, "I didn't say that I was in love with you, no. I love you the same way that Leah and Laura do; you know, like a brother. I think that what you and Ashlyn have is something very special, and there is no way on earth that I would ever try to come between you. That's what I wanted to tell you, okay? I also wanted to make sure that everything is cool between you and me."

"Thanks, Camryn," I warmly replied, placing my arm around her shoulders, hugging her from the side as we approached her car, "And just so you know, you and the rest of the band are like family to me, and I love each and every one of you just as much, okay?"

"Now it's my turn to thank you, Jake," she smiled, quickly kissing me on the cheek right before she hopped into her car and started it up, "I'll see you at practice tomorrow, cutie," and then she pulled out and drove away...

~~~~~~

When I got back to the house, I smiled when I found Leah and Keith sitting side by side at the outside patio table beside the swimming pool, while Laura and Rob were doing the same thing, seated directly across from them on the other side of the patio table

"What's up, Jake?" Keith smiled, "You said that you had something you wanted to talk to me and Rob about?"

"Seeing as how I was put up to this, I'll get right to the point," I replied, casting a knowing grin at my sisters, "Keith, Leah told me earlier this evening that she really likes you and wants you to ask her for a date; and Rob, Laura told me the same thing about you."

"I can handle that," Keith happily grinned, immediately taking Leah's hand, "But you're going to tell me that Rob and I both need to ask for your permission before we ask your sisters out, right?"

"Not at all, they're both eighteen and considered to be adults now," I firmly replied, "The only thing I ask of you is that you treat them gently, kindly, and last but not least; with full and total respect. Is that clear, guys?"