Never My Love

"Very clear," Rob humbly smiled, "Thank you, Jake. I promise you that I won't let you down. Laura is just as safe with me as she would be in her mother's arms."

"I second that motion," Keith widely grinned, "And thanks, Jake."

"You're both very welcome," I replied, winking at Leah and Laura, "Now, if there isn't anything else; I'm going back into the house to spend some quality time with my wife...

~~~~~~

"Hi, baby," Ashlyn smiled, as she was changing into a pair of shorts and a tee shirt, "It sounds to me like you guys are on your way to doing something really great."

"I'll be honest with you," I softly replied smiling, "If I was planning on trying to make it in the music industry, the group of people that I'm playing with would be my first choice in musicians when it came to looking for quality players, that's for sure."

"So, what're you trying to say," she asked me, a troubled look on her face, "Are you telling me that you're not going to at least give it a chance?"

"Oh, no, I'm sorry honey, that's not what I'm saying at all," I gently replied, pulling her into my arms, "I'm just trying to tell you that the competition is very tough; and while I'm hoping for the best, I'm also going to be prepared for the worst. I have to; because that's the only way I know how to handle life's disappointments sometimes."

"I understand, my love," she smiled, leaning in and tenderly kissing my lips, "But I still say that you guys are going to outshine everyone at the festival."

"That's what you're supposed to say," I teased, "You're my wife."

"Mmm, I sure am," she softly purred, "And I love being married to you, Jake; I really do..."

~~~~~~

I awoke to an empty bed the next morning, smelling the heavenly aroma of freshly brewed coffee; putting a smile on my face as it wafted down the hall and into mine and Ashlyn's bedroom. However, my bladder was screaming for relief so; I got up and headed straight for the bathroom where I took a pee and then washed my hands and face when I was done. After I put some clothes on, a pair of boxers and a tee shirt, I followed the coffee's aromatic trail which led me into the kitchen.

After noticing that it was a few minutes past ten o'clock in the morning, I figured that Ashlyn had gone to work so; imagine my surprise when I saw her sitting at the table chatting with Leah and Laura dressed in a pair of short shorts and her bikini top.

"Good morning, handsome," she sweetly smiled, getting up from the table to greet me with a hug and a kiss, "Sit down and I'll pour you a cup of coffee, baby."

"I'm not trying to sound like an asshole," I yawned, "But aren't you supposed to be at work right now?"

"Nope," she giggled, kissing my lips as she placed a cup of coffee on the table in front of me, and then sat down in the empty chair beside me, "And there's a reason why."

"Do I need to know," I cautiously asked, "Or should I just not worry about it and go with the flow?"

"I don't mind if you know," she sweetly told me, "Harry told me last night that I've completed and met all of the requirements for my ACGME requirements."

"Congratulations, baby, that's great news," I smiled, gently hugging her, "I'm so proud of you, Ashlyn," and then I sheepishly asked, "Please forgive my ignorance, but what does ACGME stand for?"

"It stands for the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education," Ash proudly replied, "And it also means that my fellowship is officially over."

"Oh, wow, that is good news, Ashlyn," I said, at realizing what she just told me meant not only for her, but for us as well, "I'm so proud of you, baby, and I know that your family would be as equally as proud of you as we all are," and then I pulled her back into my arms and held her closely.

"I'm happy that you're proud of me, and I love you for what you said about my family," she tenderly replied; and then she suddenly smiled very brightly and asked me, "Do wanna know something else?"

"Of course," I grinned, "I always want to know what's in that brilliant mind of yours"

"It's kind of a surprise," she girlishly giggled, "Harry asked me last night if I could get you to come to the hospital with me this morning so that he can take pictures of you."

"Pictures," I asked, as Leah and Laura remained eerily quiet, "Why does he want to take pictures of me?"

"I told you it was a surprise, silly," Ashlyn softly smiled, "Please do this for me, Jake...Please?"

"You know that I can't say "No" to you, Ash," I grinned, eliciting a near silent squeal, "Give me a chance to get another cup of coffee in me, and then after I take a shower, we'll leave, okay?"

"Thank you, Jake," she softly purred, tenderly kissing my lips, "You won't regret this, I promise..."

~~~~~~

Once we were all on the road and headed south to Galveston, I looked into my rearview mirror where Leah and Laura were sitting, each of them looking like the cat that ate the canary.

"So tell me, ladies," I teased, "Did you two have a good time last night?"

"We sure did," Leah grinned, "Not that it's any of your business, Jake."

"That's right, Jake," Laura laughed, "It's none of your business."

"Do they always repeat each other like that?" Ashlyn softly chuckled.

"That's nothing," I laughed, "They used to finish each other's sentences when they were little."

"Maybe so," Leah giggled, "But at least we didn't hang out the window and throw up because we drank too much when we were out partying with our friends."

"Jeez, I only did that one time," I told them, "And it was after the Spring Dance my junior year in high school so; shut up, you two."

"I'd be careful about how you talk to us if I were you, Jake," Leah playfully warned.

"Yeah," Laura laughed, "Mom and Dad still don't know about that."

"Oh, yes they do," I victoriously replied, "I told Dad about it the next day."

"That's was probably because he could smell the puke where you threw up in Mom's Rose garden," Leah began to giggle again, "You should've seen his face that next morning at breakfast, Ashlyn. It was a green as a Christmas tree, and his eyes were so bloodshot they looked like roadmaps."

After no longer being able to hold back her laughter, Ashlyn finally let loose and began to loudly giggle like a school girl, also snorting with no propriety whatsoever, which in turn, made Leah and Laura end up following right behind her. By this time I'd become very used to having my little sisters busting my chops so, I simply shook my head smiling, and kept my eyes on the road.

"Don't laugh at those two, sweetheart," I playfully complained, "It only makes them that much worse."

"Shut up, Jake," Laura laughed, "You love this shit, and you know it so; there," as she stuck her tongue out while still laughing.

"She's right, Jake," Leah chimed in giggling, "Quit all that whining, you big sissy. Wait until Laura and I tell Keith and Rob about what a big baby you are."

"Go right ahead," I teased back, "Wait until I tell them what bitches you two can be. How do you like that shit, Missy?"

Suddenly the laughter stopped, and when I looked into my rearview mirror for the second time, Leah glared back and angrily growled, "You can be such an asshole sometimes, Jake...and stop calling me, Missy."

"Uh huh," I knowingly grinned at Ashlyn, "That's what I thought..."

~~~~~~

Chapter Twenty One

"Thanks for coming back this morning, Jake," Harry Mesner smiled, as he greeted me the moment I set foot into the hospital, "I hope it wasn't too much of an inconvenience for you, but I need to take some pictures of you for the purposes of Ashlyn's accreditation with the A.C.G.M.E."

"Aw, Ash, honey," I softly smiled, "Why didn't you tell me this in the first place?"

"I didn't want you to feel like you were obligated, baby," she meekly replied, "I hope you can forgive me for not telling you everything."

"Come on, now," I kindly replied, "There's nothing to forgive, baby," and with that said, I leaned down and very tenderly kissed her soft lips in front of everyone who was in the hallway, Harry included.

"Jake," Ashlyn softly scolded me smiling, her face turning bright red, "You know better than to do that here."

"Let's go to my office and take the pictures, m'boy," Harry laughed, "That way Ashlyn will have ample time for her face to regain its color," and then we were off, me, Harry, and Ashlyn, with my sisters, Leah and Laura in tow...

~~~~~~

The pictures of me that Ashlyn had snapped before my surgery had been taken with a Minolta XG-1, which had a thirty-five millimeters lens. Harry had them in his office to show me as soon as we arrived, and this was the first time I'd seen them. It was all I could do to keep the contents of my stomach from rising into my throat.

It was all I could do to look at the burnt, hideous, mangled flesh on what was once my face, looking like it was ready to melt and drip onto my shoulders at any moment.

"My God," I gasped, a sick feeling beginning to overcome me as tears began to fill my eyes and pour down my face. I had to turn away because I could no longer look at the photos that showed my face in the condition it once was in.

"Jake, are you alright, baby?" Ashlyn worriedly asked, "You look a little pale."

"No," I sniffled, holding onto my composure by my fingernail, "Please take those terrible pictures away, Ash...please?"

"I'm sorry, Jake," Harry apologetically replied, "I know that it must be hard for you to look at these things," pulling out a drawer and placing the photos inside of it before he closed it back shut.

"What an understatement," I harshly snapped, "I could've gone for the rest of my life without looking at those damn things again. What the hell were you thinking, Harry?"

"I'll tell you what I was thinking, Jake," he defensively replied, "I was thinking about what a great job your wife did when it came to fixing your face. I was also thinking that you needed to see those pictures so that you never forget what an asset Ashlyn is to the Medical field. I'm sorry for offending you, but I stand by what I just said and did. And just in case you might get angry with your wife for making you look at the pictures, don't. It was my idea, not hers. "

"I'm sorry, but will you all excuse me?" I asked, suddenly beginning to feel suffocated, "I need to get out of here for a few minutes," and then when I saw the worried look on Ashlyn's face, I placed the palm of my left hand against her right cheek and softly told her, "I'll be alright, I need to clear my head for a few minutes, okay, baby?"

"Take all the time you need, Jake," she tenderly smiled, reaching up and pulling me downward with her arms to give me a kiss, "We'll be right here when you get back," after which, I opened the door to Harry's office and left, closing it behind me...

~~~~~~

After I left the hospital I walked diagonally across four city blocks until I came to Stewart Beach Park, which sat on the shoreline of the Gulf of Mexico. Once I found an open table, I sat down and opened the cold soda that I'd stopped and purchased along the way.

It was an absolutely beautiful morning and the meteorologists had said that the temperature that day would reach no higher the seventy-eight degrees with a low of sixty-five in the evening and on into the night.

As I sat watching the children play in the water, my mind went back in time to when life was simpler. Leah and Laura were six years old and I was eight, going on nine. Mom and Dad had carried us to this very same beach, and I could somehow feel the sunburn that I'd received that day due to not allowing my father to apply any sunscreen to my shoulders.

All of a sudden I found myself back in the theater of my old high school, searching for my sister, Laura, and her friend, Teri Palmer, while the flames blazed all around me, stinging, tearing, and melting the mangled flesh from my bones. I began to see a doorway with bright light coming from the other side of it, but right before I reached it; everything went dark.

"Are you okay, Mister?" said a child's voice; making me open my eyes to find myself not only slumped over the picnic table I'd sat down at, but also and a lady standing next to the child who apparently was his mother, both of whom were looking at me with concern in their eyes.

"You were crying in your sleep;" the lady politely said, "We thought something might have been wrong with you."

"No, I'm alright,," I disarmingly smiled, "Thank you both," and then I stood up, got myself together, and then walked back to the hospital at a brisk pace...

~~~~~~

When I arrived back in Harry's office, Ashlyn, Leah, and Laura were sitting down and chatting with him. The moment Ashlyn saw me; she immediately rose to her feet and gently threw her arms around my neck

"Are you alright, my love?" she softly asked, with deep concern in her voice, "We've been worried about you."

"I'm sorry, everyone," I softly replied, and then looked into Ash's eyes and told her, "Please forgive my childish behavior just now. I have no excuse for it, and I apologize from the bottom of my heart."

"There's nothing to forgive, Jake," she tenderly replied smiling, "Are you ready to let Harry take a couple of pictures of that beautiful face of yours?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess," I grinned, and then still grinning at Harry, I chuckled and said, "I'm ready any time that you are, Harry."

"That's good news, partner," he heartily replied, as he reached over and gently patted my shoulder. Then he reached into his desk drawer, and after withdrawing the same kind of camera that Ashlyn had used to take the "Before" pictures of me, he held it up and said, "If you don't mind standing against that wall over there, I'll go ahead and get this over with as soon as possible, my friend."

"Take all the time you need, Harry," I smiled, and then did as he requested while he began taking the "After" pictures of me...

~~~~~~

Both of my sisters had remained silent throughout the whole picture taking ordeal. However, once were in the parking garage and Ashlyn and the girls were about to get in Ash's Jaguar, Leah looked aver at me and asked, "Are you sure you're okay, Jake?"

As I'm sure you can probably tell by now, Leah was the more outspoken one when it came to my sisters, and in being so, she looked over at Laura, and after a silent agreement had been reached between the two of them, Leah looked back at me and said, "I'm going to ride back to the house with you, and Laura's gonna ride with Ashlyn. Is that alright with you, Jake?"

"Of course it is, I agreed, knowing better than to argue with her at that moment. Then I leaned over and kissed Ashlyn's lips and told her, "We'll see you back at the house, baby."

"Okay, handsome" she sweetly replied smiling, "Drive carefully, my love..."

~~~~~~

Once we were out of parking garage and were headed toward the house, I could tell that Leah had something on her mind so; I simply smiled and asked, "Okay, little sister; what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"I was really worried about you back there, Jake," she quietly replied, "Why did you leave Harry's office...and where did you go?"

"I needed to clear my head after looking at those pictures, Lee-Lee," I told her, "Surely you can understand that."

"I can, and I do," she replied, "I was just worried. Are you alright now?"

"Of course I am," I gently smiled, reaching for her hand and momentarily holding it, "I just had to work some stuff out in my head, that's all."

"Okay then," she contently smiled, my answer apparently having satisfied her curiosity. Then she widely smiled and told me, "Keith and Rob told me and Laura that you're the best keyboard player that they've ever heard, or seen."

"Is that right," I appreciatively grinned, "Well, I think that they're pretty good, too."

"I need to ask you a question; Jake," she matter-of-factly said, "And I want an honest answer, okay?"

"I've never once lied to you or Laura," I told her, "And I'm not about to start now so; what would you like to know, my curious little sister?"

"You're so silly," she sweetly giggled, and then her face turned serious as she asked, "Do you care that Laura and I are dating Rob and Keith? And the reason I'm asking is because they don't want to do anything to offend you, and they damn sure don't want to cause any hard feelings between you guys."

"You and Laura are both eighteen now, and according to the law, you're considered to be adults. As far as whom you date is concerned, well, that's none of my business," I replied, "Keith Davis and Rob Walters are a couple of very nice guys who both come from great families. However, and I'm only going to say this once, I expect you and Laura to be on your best behavior around those guys at all times, because not only do you represent me, but you also represent our whole family. And I think you know what I'm talking about, yes?"

"Duh, Big Brother," Leah good naturedly teased, "I'm not stupid ya know."

"I know you're not," I said, "One more thing, and I'm not trying to sound like Mom and Dad, but you're both grown women. What you two do in your personal lives is none of my business, but I expect the two of you to be responsible when it comes to certain things, young lady."

"Don't worry, Jake, Mom put the both of us on the pill as soon as we were old enough to start dating," she quietly but sweetly told me, and then after leaning across the console of my car, my sister softly kissed me on the cheek and said, "Thank you for being so sweet to us all our lives, and thank you for caring, Jake...we both love you very much."

"I know you do; baby girl," I warmly smiled, "And I love you, too, both of you..."

~~~~~~

Over a period of the next two days, we, as a band, Covenant, worked very hard to make certain that there were no surprises and no mistakes. Any time that any one of us messed up, we neither complained, nor did we give accusatory looks at whoever it was that did it, we simply smiled and started over, encouraging one another to do our very best.

At the end of each song, we self critiqued what we did, looking for anything that needed improvement. I felt very blessed to be able to play music with such a talented group of young people, and every time I had the opportunity, I thanked God for allowing me to be in the position I was in. On the last night before the audition that next afternoon, we chose to sit back, and as opposed to practicing and burning ourselves out, we simply enjoyed being together with one another, relishing the praise that we made certain to give one another for our accomplishments.

~~~~~~

I'd gone to the store earlier, and because none of us in the band drank alcohol, I bought four big bottles of sparkling grape soda, pouring everyone a glass to celebrate the next day's audition.

"I'd like to propose a toast," Camryn smiled, as she stood up with her glass in hand, "I'd like to thank Jake and Ashlyn, not only for giving us a place to practice, but also for the example they've set by showing the rest of us what it means for two people to truly love and care for one another the way that they do; to Jake and Ashlyn," which was followed by soft cheers while everyone sipped their drinks.

I felt very good just then, and knowing that the time had come for me to tell my peers, no, make that my friends, what I'd been feeling ever since we played our first song together, I stood up to speak.

"I'm not going to propose a toast or anything like that," I began, "But there's something that I want you all to know. It began after the first time we played that very first song on the very first day we all got together here. All my life I'd dreamed of doing something like this, but knowing how fierce the competition is in the recording industry, I never thought that I'd ever amount to a hill of beans, musically..."