Never My Love

"Are you serious, Jake?" Ash excitedly asked me, "I mean are you really sure about this?"

"Yes," I told her, "I've never been more certain about anything in my life...I love you, Ashlyn Leigh Benson; and as God as my witness, I promise to be not only the best husband, but also the best father I can possibly be."

"Oh, Jake," Ash began to happily weep; "You've already got the best husband part down perfectly. I have no doubt at all that you'll be a great father."

Because we had been sitting in the den, I heard the guest bathroom toilet flush, as Leah suddenly came flying out of the bathroom down the hall happily screaming, "LAURA, LAURA WAKE UP. JAKE AND ASHLYN ARE GOING TO START TRYING TO HAVE CHILDREN..."

~~~~~~

Chapter Twenty Five

"So, you two are finally going to make us Aunts, huh?" Leah excitedly grinned, as she and Laura sat in the two chairs which faced Ash and I on the couch, "It's about time."

"She's right ya know," Laura smiled, "And Mom and Dad are gonna go ape shit when we tell them."

"You two aren't going to say a word," I quickly let them know; "It's not your place. It's mine and Ashlyn's. Do we understand one another?"

"Come on, Jake," Leah started to protest, "Why can't we..."

"He's right," Ashlyn said, quietly interrupting her, "While I love you girls to pieces, I'm going to be very hurt if you tell your parents before Jake and I get the opportunity," and then she stood up and walked to our bedroom, turning to look at Leah and Laura with tears running down her cheeks before she turned back and left the room, immediately infuriating me with my sisters' behavior, regardless of whether they were kidding or not.

"That's it," I angrily seethed, as I rose from my seat after having lost my temper with my sisters and their meddling bullshit. "The both of you are going home in the morning," I furiously hissed, "So; I'd get some sleep if I were you," and then I turned and walked away...

~~~~~~

"Are you alright, baby?" I asked, walking into our bedroom to find Ashlyn looking out the window, staring at the moon while tears continued to rain down her beautiful face, "I'm really sorry about what my sisters said, Ashlyn, I didn't..."

"Shh," she lovingly interrupted me, placing her index finger on my lips as I approached her, "This isn't your fault, Jake, honey."

"Yes, it is," I told her, "Those two are my responsibility, therefore it's my fault."

"You don't always have to be so noble ya know," Ashlyn suddenly yet, as always, still girlishly smiled, wiping the tears from her face, "I love you just the way you are, Jake."

"And you call me a smart ass," I grinned, and then I looked into those hypnotic blue eyes of hers and said "I told the Leah and Laura that I was going to take them home in the morning."

"Don't do that, Jake," Ashlyn softly replied, with only the purest of absolution in her voice, "I want them to sit with me tomorrow night when I watch you and Rick Wakeman play together."

"You're so very forgiving, Ash," I admitted, "I learn so much from you every moment that I'm around you."

"As do I you, my love," she softly and tenderly replied, gazing lovingly into my eyes, "Even though you're only twenty, going on twenty-one years old, and still a boy in the eyes of some people, you've always been a man in my eyes, regardless of your age, Jake, and that's reason I love you as I do."

"Thank you, Ashlyn," I smiled, my heart swelling with love for her, "You're all the woman I'll ever want, or need..."

~~~~~~

That night as I lay asleep in the arms of my wife, I was slowly awakened by the sound of her whimpering in her sleep. All of a sudden those whimpers turned into cries of anguish, and in the same moment that I was going to awaken her, Ashlyn sat straight up in the bed and cried, "MOMMA...NOOOOO!!!!!"

"Easy, baby, easy," I softly told her, gently holding her against me as she woke, "I don't know where you were, but wherever it was, you're home now, and you're safe, Ashlyn; and I love you."

"Oh, Jake," she began to openly cry, "I was having the most God awful nightmare just now. I saw my mother running away from me crying and it seemed so real."

"That's why they're called nightmares," I soothed her, "Because they're noting more than bad dreams that are never meant to come true, Ash."

"Will you hold me, baby?" she asked, as she snuggled into my arms and then took me with me as she lay back down on the bed, "I love you so much, Jake."

"I love you, too," I softly replied, holding her against me, "Try to go back to sleep, Ashlyn; I'm right here..."

~~~~~~

Ashlyn later told me that she woke up way before I did that next morning, and then after she got out bed, she threw her robe on and went into the kitchen. She said that both girls were sitting at the kitchen table, fully dressed and with their bags packed and on the floor by their sides. Ashlyn also told me she could clearly see that the both of them had been up all night crying.

"We're so sorry, Ashlyn," Leah cried, as she quickly stood up and threw her arms around Ash's left side the moment she was close enough.

"We didn't mean to hurt you," Laura cried, doing exactly as Leah had done, but on Ash's right side.

"I forgave you girls the moment you spoke," Ashlyn tenderly told them, gently and tenderly holding the both of them close to her, "I love you two very much, because you're the only sisters I'll ever have, and that's what family does.

In that moment, a healing took place, which not only touched my baby sisters, but also in only Ash's special way, I think that Leah and Laura both found a sense of maturity that I could see the moment I arrived about a half hour later...

~~~~~~

30 MINUTES LATER

"Good morning, everyone," I pleasantly smiled, immediately noticing a change in my sisters' demeanor the moment I took a seat at the breakfast table, "How are my favorite sisters doing this morning?"

As opposed to saying anything, they both approached me as I sat at the table, and while Leah placed a full cup of coffee before me, Laura spooned the sugar and then poured the cream into the cup, stirring it before she gently tapped the spoon on the rim of the cup to make sure no coffee would drip onto the table.

"We're you're only sisters, Leah quietly sniffled.

"And we love you very much," Laura replied right after her, her emotions in the same state as Leah's, "We're very sorry about last night, Jake," and then before I could say anything, the both of them had placed their arms around me and kissed me on both sides of my face.

"I told them that I wanted the two of them to sit with me tonight, Jake," Ashlyn knowingly told me, "I hope that's alright with you."

I looked at both of my sisters and told them, "Ashlyn has a very forgiving heart, won't you two agree?"

"Come on, Jake," Ashlyn gently smiled, "Don't lecture them, okay?"

"I won't," I smiled, taking the time to gently kiss both of my sisters' cheeks, "Today is a new day..."

~~~~~~

After I finished eating, I went to the Master Bathroom and took my shower. After relaxing under the soothing warm water and washing my body, I stepped out and dried off. Then I brushed my teeth, shaved my face, and then brushed and dried my hair. I could see from the bathroom window that Ash and the girls were laying out if sun next to the pool so; after putting on a simple pair of shorts, I decided I'd join them for a while...

~~~~~~

I could tell that everything was back to normal when Leah began busting my chops the moment I appeared on the patio.

"Damn, Big Brother," she sweetly teased, "I thought you might've fallen in and drowned. What took you so long?"

"Leave me alone," I grinned, "I have to look good for my audience tonight."

"Puh-Leez," Laura began to loudly giggle, "He plays one show and now he thinks he's Elvis. I think you need to put a leash on your pet, Ashlyn," and needless to say, Leah and Ashlyn both began to laugh like that was the funniest thing they'd ever heard.

While Leah was the more outspoken of my sisters; I'd always found Laura's quiet, razor-sharp wit to be one of her most charming qualities, and in doing so, I literally fell into a fit of laughter myself as I took a seat, or should I say fell onto the lounger next to my wife.

"Very funny, little sister," I smiled, "You need to take that crap on the road, you little shit."

"Maybe so," she smiled, "But I know that you love me, Jake."

"That I do, baby girl," I warmly replied, taking Ash's hand and kissing it, "That I do..."

~~~~~~

I'd been sitting by the pool talking with Ash and the girls for about thirty minutes or so, when the phone rang. I went to get out of my chair to answer it when Ash stopped me and said, "Keep your seat, lover, I'll get it," and then stood up and walked to the back door, my eyes glued to her gorgeous ass as it hotly wiggled back and forth until she disappeared into the house.

"Jeez, Big Brother," Leah teased, having caught me looking at Ashlyn's ass, "Make it a little more obvious why don't you?"

"Make what obvious?" I knowingly asked, "What're you talking about, Lee-Lee?"

"I saw the way you were drooling at Ashlyn," Leah began "And I don think..."

"I'll drool all I want to, thank you," I openly and proudly laughed, interrupting her in mid speech, "Ashlyn is my wife and a husband can drool over his wife all he wants to, young lady."

"Maybe so," Laura chuckled, "But like Lee-Lee said, can you make it a little less obvious next time?"

"Nope..."

~~~~~~

"It's for you," Ashlyn knowingly ginned, as she handed me the phone.

"Hey, mate," a now familiar British accented, male voice chuckled over the phone, "It's not too early for you, is it?"

"Hi, Rick," I excitedly replied, "No, it's not too early at all. What can I do for you, my friend?"

"I think we should talk about what we're going to play this evening," he told me, "What about you, mate?"

"I agree," I happily replied, "I can either come to you or you can..."

"Lindsay has gone to start the car," Rick grinned, "I'm coming to you so; it seems I'll be seeing you momentarily. That's not a problem for you, is it?"

"Not at all," I replied, "I'll have everything ready when you get here."

~~~~~~

Once Rick arrived, and all of the greetings had been made, he and I sat down to look at the musical piece we were going to perform. It was a piece written by Frederic Chopin in 1833 called, Opus 18. Grande Valse Brillante in E-flat Major. It's a very beautiful piece actually. It has four major key changes, each at perfect intervals so that Rick and I could trade off, allowing both of us to showcase our God given keyboard talents.

I played the first Aria so that Rick could play the lead line with his signature D Model MiniMoog Synthesizer; and then Rick played the second Aria so that I could play the lead line on my older and slightly bigger, Moog 55 Modular Synthesizer. So much in the same mindset were Rick and I that we played it through the first time with little to no errors; and then we played it through perfectly the second time with no mistakes whatsoever.

"Holy cow, mate," I excitedly said, once we were finished, "That was fun, ya wanna do it again just to make sure we got everything right?"

"What is it you say, mate?" Rick lightheartedly teased, "If you're waiting on me, then you're backin up..."

~~~~~~

THAT NIGHT

SHOW TIME

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN," the Emcee announced, "I GIVE YOU HOUSTON'S OWN, COVENANT!!!!" and the crowd went wild. We opened up again with the song I'd written, "Out of the Fire", continuing for the next ninety minutes with same show we'd done the night before. However, this time there were not only those who, while only a few, attended the show the night before, there were also people at the show who'd lined up for weeks in advance to get tickets to see Rick Wakeman. I'd discovered earlier that day from Rick that his performances here in the United States were very few and far between so; because of the fact that he was performing here tonight to begin with was an honor for me in itself, not to mention that I now knew I was being given a rare opportunity in getting to perform on stage with him, much less be a part of his opening act.

Everyone was playing and singing their parts perfectly, while every family member of every member of the band were all there that night watching us rock and roll. The two entire front and center rows had, again, been reserved by Rob's Dad's Law firm and I was proud that my own parents were there to watch us all play our music that night. And because of the fact that we had more than just an hour to perform, I took the time to stop halfway through the show and introduce the band. Of course I went ahead and introduced Rob, Keith and Randy, and the crowd cheered loudly for them. I introduced the Harris sisters who received more loud cheers, not to mention several cat calls because of their beauty.

However, when I introduced Camryn, I thought the audience was going to go crazy with cheering for her, which, not only did she have happy tears raining down her face, but I was also very proud. But before I could introduce myself, Camryn stepped up to her microphone, and sweetly interrupting me, she told the audience, and I quote, "Ladies and Gentlemen, those of us whom you've already been introduced to are more than grateful for the love and support you just showed us with your applause, but please allow me to be the one to introduce you to a man that each and every member of this band have all come to deeply love and respect. He's been the glue that has held us all together from the very beginning, and not only do we love him more than life itself, but we hope to keep making music with him for many years to come. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Jake Benson," and just then I thought the roof was going to come crashing down as the applause was so loud, it was almost deafening. The morning papers said that the applause could be heard all the way on the other side of the University of Houston campus.

What surprised me even more was the fact that after the crowd quieted down, Camryn slyly smiled at me and, again, into her microphone, said, "There's more, ladies and gentlemen," and I smelled a rat when Keith Davis handed me his accoustic/electric guitar after Camryn told the audience, "Not too long ago, Jake got married to the most beautiful woman that God ever put a breath in, and she's here tonight," as Camryn looked out into the audience, smiling when she found Ash, and said, "Ashlyn, stand up and be recognized, girl."

The moment Ash stood, a spotlight was on her, and because I already had Keith's guitar in my hand, Camryn knowingly grinned at me and said, "Jake's gonna play this song he wrote for his wife, not too long after they first got together," then she looked at me and said, "Jake, come front and center. Rob, get his stool please?"

The next thing I knew, the sound crew had set me a microphone at the front and center of the stage. Then Rob placed my stool behind it, as he grinned at me and quietly said, "It's your turn to shine, Rock Star," and then he shook his head laughing as he re-took his seat behind his drums.

Knowing exactly what song Camryn had been talking about, I looked at Ashlyn, who was still standing up with the spotlight shining on her, and simply said, "This one's for you, my love," and began to the intro to "In My Heart," which was the very first song I wrote on the very first night Ashlyn and I had spent alone together, right after I'd given her my virginity.

The audience was so quiet that you could've heard a pin drop as I played and sang my heart out to not only them, but also to the one and only woman I would ever love for the rest of my life. She stood and watched as I played, our eyes never once leaving each other's. Mom was seated right next to Ashlyn so, therefore; she was able to sit there and watch as my wife and I formed a very special bond that night; a deep, lasting and solid bond which still lasts to this day.

When I was finished playing and singing, I went back to my place behind my keyboards, taking my stool with me, as I not only handed Keith's guitar back to him, but also as the audience again went completely insane with applause, showing us all how much they loved what "Covenant" did. Over the rest of time that we were on stage, our audience was treated to a musical feast, one which I hoped they would all long remember...

~~~~~~

There was a thirty minute intermission before Rick took the stage, and during that time, he came to my dressing room and told me. "I really enjoyed your performance tonight, mate. It was brilliant, absolutely brilliant."

"Thank you, Rick," I appreciatively told him as we shook hands, "I can't begin to tell you what hearing that from you means to me. Thank you for the compliment my friend."

"Bollocks," he laughed, "Now I've got to work that much harder to be able to keep up with you, Jake."

"Yeah, right," I, too, laughed, "Gimme a break."

"Seriously though," he told me, "Would you mind if you and I did our duet before I go on stage?"

"What ever you want, Rick," I happily agreed, "You're the star here, we're just the opening act."

"Uh huh," he chuckled, "I've got a feeling that that's all about to change after tonight, mate."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, "Do you know something that I don't?"

"No, not at all," he grinned, casting a knowing glance, which I missed, to Lindsay, who was just outside in the hallway, "It's just a feeling, mate; that's all."

"Oh, okay," I ignorantly replied, as Rick grinned, "So how do you want to do this, Rick?"

"Not to worry," he smiled, "Leave everything up to me, just be ready when I call you onto the stage, okay?"

"Not a problem, mate," I teased, "If you're waiting on me than you're backing up..."

~~~~~~

The Emcee for that night was one of the D.J.'s for one of the local top forty radio stations there in Houston, and when he next took the stage, he told the audience, "We've got a surprise tonight, ladies and gentlemen, or at least that's what our next guest told me just now. So, let's give a big warm Houston, Texas welcome to RICK WAKEMAN," and then the audience began to cheer as the stage lights came up to find Rick on stage, sitting behind one of two Piano/Keyboard rigs sitting there on the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he smiled, as the crowd quieted down, "In the past week that I've been here in Houston, God gave me not only the privilege, but also the honor of meeting and getting to know one of the finest pianists, as well as keyboardist that I've known. This man has it in him to be one of the greatest musicians alive. You saw him performing earlier tonight with his band, Covenant, and I've talked him into playing with me for a bit before I play with my band. Would please welcome back to the stage, Mister Jake Benson?" And of course the audience began to loudly cheer again as I took the stage and sat behind my gear.

Rick and I took turns following one another behind each of the phrases in all four of the major movements throughout the whole piece. However, when it came time to play to the two separate arias within Chopin's composition, I heard Rick whisper to me saying, "Rock it, mate...you can do it," and that I did.

As I began to play Moog 55 Modular synthesizer, I'd preset it beforehand so that all nine oscillators were being facilitated, giving my synth a full, rich sound like never before. The patented Moog Filter was working in perfect synchronization with the envelopes, so that the attack, decay, sustain and release of each note played sounded like a symphony of it's very own with every note it produced. I could tell by the look on his face that Rick was having as much fun as I was.

However, when it came time for me to take the aria while Rick played his MiniMoog, I knew that I was witnessing greatness that night. As always there were his personal signature licks that he played, but it was never the same at any time. His hands were all over the keyboard, as well as ever changing electronic control of the notes, something that I learned from him that night, and when the song was finished, I couldn't believe how loud it got inside of the Pavilion afterward as the crowd came absolutely unglued...