Never My Love

"Seriously son," Dad told me, once everyone had calmed down, "I'm very happy for you and Ashlyn, not to mention how proud you two have made your mother and I feel."

"That's right, babies," Mom happily sniffled, hugging Ash and me at the same time, "Have you decided on any names yet?"

"I'm not pregnant yet, Naomi," Ash sweetly told her, "But I'm sure going to need your help deciding once I do get pregnant."

"What do you guys want?" Leah smiled, "A boy or a girl?"

"I want them to have a girl," Laura grinned, "That way we'll still out-number Jake and Dad."

"I don't care what it is," I smiled, gently kissing my wife, "As long as it's healthy, and has ten little fingers and ten little toes," and then for some reason, I still don't know, well actually I do know, my eyes suddenly filled with tears, making me pull Ashlyn into my arms, and into her ear whispered, "I love you with all my heart, Ashlyn Leigh Benson."

"And I love you, too, Jacob Daniel Benson," she softly replied, tenderly kissing my lips as she wiped my eyes, "I always have, and I always will."

"Hey Big Sister," Leah suddenly said, getting Ash's immediate attention, and pulling her into the kitchen, away from everyone, "I was wondering if I could ask you a question. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to; but it would be really cool if you would."

"You can ask me anything you want to, Lee-Lee," Ash sweetly smiled, addressing my little sister by the nickname we all called her, which Leah absolutely loves by the way, "What's on your mind, baby girl?"

"I need to know something," Leah began, "When did you know that you were in love with Jake? Like I said though, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

"Aww, I don't mind at all, baby, "Ashlyn coddled my sister (just like she's done to both of my little sisters since day one), making me follow them, "I knew that I cared about Jake the very first time ever I saw him. I hardly had the chance to explain his surgeries to him, before he let me know in no uncertain terms that he already knew and clearly understood what was about to happen to him. When I discovered that he was telling me the truth, also from caring for him as a physician, I realized right then that your brother was a genius, Leah. That's the reason he's so mature for his age."

"I know my brother is very smart, and I love him very much," Leah sweetly replied, and then I caught the impish sparkle in my little sister's eyes that everyone else missed, hence the reason I expected it when she told Ashlyn, "But most of it is smart ass, Big Sister, that's why I like to give Jake so much shit," and needless to say, I laughed my ass off, as did Ashlyn.

"Your brother and I got to be great friends first, and grew to respect one another as well," Ashlyn continued, talking to Leah and smiling at me, "After coming to the hospital and taking me to lunch a few times; Jake asked me to meet him out for dinner about a week before his last and final surgery. He'd been through four surgeries already, as well as all the pain that he'd been forced to deal with, and still, he came through it smiling and thanking me for all I had done for him up to that point. So; because I already knew practically everything about him, I accepted..."

"...I put on one of my best evening dresses, and after I'd made sure that my hair and make-up looked good, I called a cab to take me to the restaurant so that I could have some wine once I got there to calm my nerves, and wouldn't have to drive back home after drinking. But when I arrived at the restaurant, I was greeted by this really handsome guy that was wearing a brand new suit."

"I remember when Jake went and bought that suit, too," Leah softly smiled, "He was so proud of it; and even though he still had some small scars left on his face, I thought he looked so handsome in it, God love him," and then she wiped a single, heartfelt tear from her right eye, smiling at me as she did so.

"The moment that I saw Jake in that suit, it was all over for me," Ashlyn tenderly smiled, "I knew that I was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with him...but I couldn't tell him because I was still his Doctor at the time."

"I wouldn't have cared, baby, because I was so in love with you that I couldn't see straight," I smiled, pulling Ash into my arms, "I also wouldn't have told a soul either."

"I know that, Jake," she purred, "But I couldn't afford to take that chance...not back then."

"You guys are together now and that's all that matters;" Leah tenderly smiled, "Besides, that story was so beautiful."

"Thanks Leah," I softly replied, "Ya know, you and Laura are very pretty girls when you're not trying to be such a pain in my ass," which elicited playful giggles from both of my sisters.

"Thanks, Jake," Laura smiled, "I guess..."

~~~~~~

Chapter Twenty Seven

Later that evening after everyone was gone, and the house was once again empty, Ashlyn and I had settled into the hot tub out back on the patio so that we could relax after everything that had taken place that day. Plus, I always enjoy sitting in the tub with my beautiful Ashlyn, being able to press our wet, naked bodies together.

"You know that we won't be able to do this as often once we start having children," she impishly giggled, "Don't you?"

"Of course I do," I smiled, "Why do you think I'm taking the opportunity to enjoy this while we can, baby?"

"I wonder which one of us our baby will look like," Ashlyn dreamily purred, as she lay back against me in the hot, bubbling water, "I want a son that looks just like his father."

"Oh, no," I teased, "I want our baby to look like her mother."

"Her?" Ash giggled, "I thought that you said you didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, honey," a knowing smile on her beautiful face.

"I do...I don't...I mean," I stuttered, "Hell, you know what I'm trying to say baby."

"That I do, my love," she sweetly replied, holding me closely, "That I do..."

~~~~~~

Meanwhile back at Lindsay's office, she, Herb Albert, and Jerry Moss were in deep discussion about a possible future, if any, that Covenant might have with A&M Records. Lindsay had known Alpert and Moss for many years and therefore, she spoke first.

"I think you guys would be making a huge mistake in letting them get away from you," Lindsay happy smiled, "Besides, these kids are pro quality; are they not?"

"Oh, yeah, they're good," Herb smiled, "Damn good."

"Then what's the problem?" Lindsay asked them, "You two should be chomping at the

"We want them to play a gig out in L.A. for us first," Jerry smiled, "And then if the crowd doesn't boo them off the stage, we'll sign them to the best deal that any band could ever want."

"And if they get booed off the stage," Lindsay asked, "Then what?"

"Then we sign them to a six year deal," Herb Albert told her, "And they play what we tell them to play...with no guarantee of release."

"That's a shitty thing to do and the both of you know it," she disgustedly spat, "Why would you want to do this to these delightfully sweet kids, you guys? They haven't done a damn thing to either one of you, and besides; I thought we were all friends here."

"I'm sorry, Lindsay," Herb regrettably told her, "But it's just the way things are right now, and there's nothing that any of us can do about it."

"Bullshit," Lindsay spat, "I'll just take them to a different label, that's all."

"Please don't do that, I'm begging you," Jerry said, "Otherwise we'll be forced to black ball these kids with every major record label in the country and then they'll never get signed...and you damn well know that Herb and I have that kind of power in the industry, Lindsay."

"Yeah, uh huh, and that right there tells me that someone else is pulling the strings here," Lindsay surmised, "Okay, guys, it's time to come clean, who's leaning on you and why are they doing it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Herb emphatically denied, "This is about us trying to groom a good band for greatness."

"By black balling them if they don't sign with you?" Lindsay hissed, "Bullshit, Herb...by the way, where in Los Angeles do you want these kids to play?"

"At the Beverly Wilshire Hotel," Herb told her, "The afterparty for the Academy Awards is going to be held there two weeks from yesterday."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Lindsay disbelievingly asked "That group of assholes will eat these kids alive and you both know it. It's become a tradition amongst these jerk-off, wannabe musician actors to hassle whatever band is at these after parties they throw."

"Maybe, maybe not," Jerry said, "It all depends on how well those kids do. If they're good enough, they'll leave them alone.

"Oh, they're plenty good enough, they're damn good; but why don't I sweeten the pot a little?" she began, "If they don't get eaten alive at this thing, then I want you to give them a five album deal, with all the trimmings, as well as however much of a cash advance they ask for. If they fail, I'll sell you my management agency at the price you offered me about two months ago, that way; those kids are still free to pitch their demo to a different record label."

"That sounds good to us," Jerry sinisterly laughed, "But as opposed to you're selling us your management agency, we want you to sign it over to us instead...at no charge.

"That's ridiculous," Lindsay adamantly protested, "As it stands, Peterson Talent Productions is a multi-million-dollar company. Don't expect me to just walk away from it empty handed, I'm not going to do it."

"I thought you said that we'd be making a big mistake if we let these kids get away from us, Lindsay," Herb told her, "I'm sorry, but that's the deal, take it or leave it."

"It looks like I don't have a choice," she huffed, standing up from behind her desk, and then opening the door to her office, "I'll get the band lined up, and you'll be notified within the next twenty-four to thirty-six hours."

"Damn, that was easy," Jerry chuckled to Herb, "We should've done this long before now."

"Bullshit," Lindsay viciously replied, rising from behind her desk and walking to her office door, "I'd rather go broke than to see you assholes do anything to these kids," and then after opening her office door, she looked at the two of them and quietly seethed, "Get out! This meeting is over, gentlemen!"

She waited until both men had left the building and was in their taxi before she went back behind her desk, sat down, and then called me to set up a meeting...

~~~~~~

Ashlyn and I had just gotten out of the hot tub and were in the process of drying each other off when the phone rang. I put on my robe, and then after briefly wondering who could possibly be calling us at that particular hour of the evening, I answered it.

"Hello," I said, "This is Jake."

"Hi Jake, it's me, Lindsay," she said, "I'm sorry to be calling you this late but something very important has just come up, and you and I need to talk...as soon as possible."

"Okay, then," I smiled, "Is tomorrow soon enough?"

"Perfect," she eagerly replied, "What time is good for you?"

"Let me think for a minute," I quickly pondered, "I've only got two classes tomorrow. And they're both in the morning so; why don't you call me around one o'clock tomorrow afternoon, okay?"

"Good enough," she smiled, "I'll talk to you then, thanks Jake?"

"Thanks for what, Lindsay," I smiled.

"We'll talk about it, tomorrow, Jake," she smiled, "In the mean time; I want you to get a good night's rest..."

~~~~~~

After the two men had left Lindsay's office building and were back in their hotel suite, Herb looked over at Jerry, who was making himself a drink at the bar, and said, "I sure hated having to lie to her, but do you think she bought our story?"

"I've known Lindsay Peterson for a very long time," he replied, "And once she finds out that that slime ball, Bill Sanders, is trying to use us, and that band that she's so proud of, as a way to launder his fucking illegal drug money, she'll be more than alright. As a matter of fact, she's tough enough to be able to personally kick his ass herself, and, once everything is out in the open, Lindsay will give Sanders an ass kicking of such epic proportion that it will more than likely become a blue ribbon event..."

"That's all well and good," Herb said, "But she was right about the Academy Award attendees, they really are a bunch of pricks, and we both know it so; what're we going to do about that situation?"

"Relax, Herb," Jerry knowingly grinned, "I've got way too much dirt on ninety percent of the people who're going to be attending so; you leave everything to me. Besides; for the past eighteen months now, the FBI and the U.S. Marshall's Office have had Sanders under investigation, and even though we've done nothing wrong, our affiliations with that asshole will come under government scrutiny and God knows that we don't need that."

"Government scrutiny," Herb said, "What the hell have you gotten us into, Jerry?"

"Nothing," Jerry smiled, "And we've done nothing wrong. We're just aiding a couple of Federal Agencies so they can take down a bad guy that could possibly ruin the Music Industry as we know it because of that idiot Sanders' involvement with the mob."

"I know that," Herb replied, "But those same agencies are the ones who asked us to assist them in nabbing that slimy son-of-a-bitch. How is that going to make us look to our friends in the Business?"

"Don't worry about it," Jerry said, "When things don't go the way Sanders is expecting them to go that evening, he's going to do something stupid, and that's when he'll get his ass locked up and/or killed. Either way, he'll be out of our hair so that we can move forward with these kids.

That's good," Herb smiled, "And for the record, I don't want to take Lindsay's Talent Agency away from her."

"I don't either," Jerry chuckled, "Hell; she's brought us way too much business over the years that we've known her."

"I know what you mean," Herb replied, "But we're still going to have to make this shit look real, especially if we want to make sure Bill Sanders doesn't know that the DEA is busting his ass."

"Don't worry about that either," Jerry chuckled, "I've got a lot of friends in the press, or have you forgotten that?"

"No," Herb laughed, "I haven't forgotten..."

~~~~~~

That night Ashlyn and I made love with wild and reckless abandon; and once we'd finished, we lay back in each other's arms, thanking Almighty God that he'd brought the two of us together in the first place. We'd gone to bed a little early so; we were afforded a little time to talk afterwards.

I knew that I loved Ashlyn with every ounce of my being, and she showed me on countless occasions exactly how she felt about me, by not only the things she said to me, but also by the things she did for me. Make no mistake when I say that Ashlyn still is and forever shall be an exciting woman; but back when we first got married, it was like exploring a new world for me, a very beautiful world full of all consuming passion and love.

"What're you thinking about, Jake," Ash smiled, lying in my arms after we'd just finished making love, "You're awfully quiet, baby."

"I was just thinking about you and me," I softly replied, "And how far we've come together."

"I hope you don't have any regrets," she replied, sitting up to look into my eyes, "I know that I don't, Jake."

"Nor do I," I warmly smiled, taking her hand and kissing it, "Well, maybe I have one small regret, but it's nothing."

"Oh, really," Ashlyn knowingly grinned, "And what would that one regret be, my love?"

"That I didn't get to know you sooner," I smiled, "Think of all that we could've already shared, and we would probably have a child already here and another one on the way."

"Whoa, back up, Tiger," Ash sweetly giggled, "Neither of us were ready to be with the other yet, and that's why God waited until the time was right to bring us together, Jake honey."

"I know, and you're right," I warmly smiled, "It's just that...well...I love you so much, Ashlyn, and in the back of my mind, I know that I somehow loved you before I ever met you."

"Is that right?" she sweetly asked, "Ooo, this sounds intriguing, please, tell me more, baby."

"It wasn't you personally that I was in love with, that would be impossible, because I didn't know you yet," I began, "Most guys would never admit to this, but I don't mind telling you, Ashlyn. As a boy, I'd entertained dreams of being with this mystery woman, a woman so beautiful that her face shined brighter than the sun, and with just one look, she could take away all of my pain, my fears, and love me like nobody ever had before."

"Wow," Ash knowingly smiled, "Those are some pretty big expectations for someone who was a mere boy at the time, especially to have those kinds of dreams."

"Actually I was about fourteen or fifteen when I first started having them," I admitted, my face turning beet red, "It wasn't until a couple of years later that I began to think about this woman on more physical terms."

"So, tell me, baby," Ashlyn excitedly smiled, "What was this woman like? How did she treat you?"

"I never got to see her face in my dream, I only heard her voice," I said, "But her voice, and this is the God's honest truth, was the same exact voice I heard the very first time you spoke to me...I swear Ashlyn."

Ashlyn sat there with a giant smile on her face, accompanied by the happy tears that began to fill her hypnotically stunning blue eyes; but before she said anything, I could see that she was taking a moment to collect her thoughts before she spoke.

"What I'm about to tell you would've sounded totally insane a couple of months ago," Ash began, "But after what you just told me, I think it's time for me to tell you something very important, Jake."

"Alright, my love," I softly replied, "I'm listening," and then I sat back in the bed, leaning against the head board, taking Ash's hand into mine as I did so.

"When I was about fifteen I began having dreams about this very beautiful boy," Ashlyn said, "He only came to me in my dreams, but when he did, he was always so sweet, so gentle, and so very kind to me. He would take me on picnics, to the beach, and he even took me out dancing...well, in my dreams anyway."

"What did he look like?" I asked, "And do you still dream about him?"

"It's funny you should ask me that, Jake," she cryptically smiled, "I stopped dreaming about him once I got to college and then went onto medical school; but back when I used to dream about him, I remember never being able to see his face, only hearing his the sound of his voice instead."

I was about to ask another question until a feeling suddenly came over me, indicating that I should be quiet, because Ashlyn was about to tell me something that I most definitely needed to pay close heed to.

"On the afternoon that you were brought to the hospital," Ashlyn continued, "After I debrieded your wounds and then treated and wrapped up your burns; I sat up watching over you for almost seven hours, not going to the Doctor's lounge to sleep until after I'd made certain that you were stable and resting well..."

"...It wasn't until I'd finally gone to sleep that night when that same boy came back to me in a dream and told me that the time had come for me to see him, and when his face came into focus, I was very pleasantly shocked when I discovered that the face I saw was yours; making me realize that it was you I'd been dreaming of when I was a girl. The difference was that you weren't burned..."

"...Also, the next day after the very first time I heard the sound of your voice, something told me right then and there that if you were ever going to be made whole again, I was the only one who would be able to do it. While I was happy that God had chosen me for this task; don't ask me how or from where I got my information, because I still don't know. All I knew at the time was that your health and well being, Jake, was somehow tied to, and had something to do with me, too. Therefore; I was going to do everything in my