Never My Love

"I highly doubt that, my love," I chuckled, leaning down and kissing her forehead, "You're on of strongest willed people that I know."

"Oh really," she smiled, "And do you think that's a bad thing?"

"Of course not," I chuckled, "It makes me worry about you a little bit less than I did when we first got together."

"I didn't know that you worried about me, Jake," she replied, sitting up in bed, the sheets dropping to reveal her beautiful bare tits, "What were you worried about, my love?"

"Just about everything," I said, "I worried about you're meeting some guy that was older, nicer, or wealthier than me; and I was constantly keeping an eye out to see if any guys were going to try and come on to you."

"It looks like I wasn't alone then," she softly smiled, leaning over and ever so tenderly kissing my lips.

"Huh," I stupidly asked, "What do you mean, you weren't alone, baby?"

"I was so busy sweating the same things about you that you were about me," she said, "And I guess I missed the fact that you were doing he same thing...I'm really sorry about that, Jake."

"Aw, it's alright, Ashlyn," I quietly told her, gently pulling her into my arms, "We belong to each other now, and nothing is ever going to change that, okay baby?"

"I love you, Jake," she purred, pressing our naked bodies together, "I love you so much, just like I always have and always will."

"While we're making confessions here," I grinned, "I've got one for you."

"Uh oh," she giggled, "What kind of confession are we talking about here?"

"It's nothing bad," I chuckled, "Well, not too bad anyway."

"Uh huh," Ash knowingly laughed, "That means that it's something perverted, you nasty boy. Come on, tell me what it is, baby."

"I've been having these dreams lately," I hungrily whispered into her ear, grinding my hardening cock against her hot, naked ass, "And you're the star of every single one of them."

"Mmm, is that right?" she hotly purred, reaching behind her to grab a hold of my cock, jacking it up and down, "And did I do this?" as she quickly turned around, taking my cock into her mouth and hungrily devouring it down her throat."

"Ungh," I groaned, "Yeah, and I did this," laying back and pulling her atop of me into a sixty-nine position so that her pussy was in my face while she continued sucking my cock...

~~~~~~

I woke a little earlier than usual that next morning, and in doing so, I realized that not only was it still dark outside, but Ashlyn was still peacefully slumbering beside me. However, before I got out of bed, I took a moment to look my beautiful wife that God had so generously and lovingly given me.

The soft contours of her face, the touch of her skin against mine, and last but certainly not least, the love that she had for me made me realize that if I were to die that day, I would leave this world a happy man, knowing that I'd done what was required of me to totally and completely honor this woman the way that she so richly deserved; especially after all the terrible things that befallen her before she and I ever met.

Ashlyn was my life and that's all there was to it. The child that was now growing within her was a testament to our love, sealing the eternal bond that she and I would share forever...

~~~~~~

After I'd gotten out of bed, I decided to use the front bathroom so as not to wake my sleeping beauty down the hall; and after I finished taking a pee and washing my face and hands, I went into the kitchen to turn the coffee pot on.

I don't know what it is, but there's something about waking up in the wee hours of the morning just before the sun rises that gives me a feeling of peace and comfort, and this particular morning was no different.

After pouring myself a cup of freshly brewed coffee, I put the cream and sugar that I normally take in my coffee and opened the back sliding glass patio door. Then after walking outside in just a pair of shorts, I sat down at the table outside beside the swimming pool and drank my coffee beneath the morning sky...

~~~~~~

I couldn't have been sitting there for more than a few minutes when I heard an all too familiar female voice behind me ask, "What're you doing out here all by yourself, my love?"

"Good morning, beautiful," I smiled, pulling Ash into my lap and wrapping my arms around her, as I gently kissed her lips, "I thought you were still asleep."

"I was until I found out that you weren't next me," she softly smiled, returning the kiss, "So, I came looking for you."

I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep," I smiled, "So I got out of bed and got some coffee."

"Mmm," she purred, snuggling closer to me, "It's still early, baby. It's only a little before five o'clock ya know."

"Are you hungry?" I asked, "I'll make you some breakfast if you are, baby."

"Yummy, that sounds good," she softly giggled, "And for your information, I'm starving...pregnant women are almost always hungry."

"Come on then," I smiled, attempting to remove her from my lap so I could stand up, "I'll make you whatever you want."

"No, not yet," she sweetly replied, holding on to me, "It's so peaceful out here...can we stay just a little while longer, please baby?"

"Of course," I tenderly smiled, "We can do whatever you want, my love."

"Why're you so good to me, Jake?" she softly asked.

"Because I love you more than life itself, Ashlyn," I told her, "And there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I thought you knew that."

"I do know that," she replied, "I guess I'm just a little insecure where you ad I are concerned."

"Have I done something to make you feel that way?" I asked, slightly alarmed, "If so, I didn't mean to, baby; you've got to believe me."

"You've done nothing wrong, my love," she gently purred, laying her head on my shoulders, "As a matter of fact, you're the type pf man that I always dreamed of, Jake. I guess the insecurities are because of the bullshit I went through when I was younger."

"I know," I quietly empathized with her, "But you're with me now, and I swear by all that's holy, that I would die before I ever let anything happen to you and our child."

"Hmm, is that right?" she knowingly chuckled, smiling at me, "It sounds to me like you're beginning to develop what I call, "The Nervous Daddy Syndrome."

"Oh, really," I grinned, "And that's a bad thing?"

"Not at all, baby," she softly replied smiling with her arms around me, "Not at all..."

~~~~~~

We sat just a little while longer until Ashlyn's stomach began to growl, and then I made her come inside with me so that I could make her a nice filling breakfast. I mean, after all, she was eating for not only herself, but also the precious life that was growing inside of her...

~~~~~~

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" Ashlyn smiled, later that morning, "Anything in particular?"

"As a matter of fact there is," I replied, "I need to go to the U of H and drop out of my classes before we go back to Los Angeles."

"That's right, I almost forget," she smiled, "Can I go with you?"

"I'd love for you to go with me," I tenderly replied, "That way I can show you off to all of my teachers."

"I love you, Jake," she sweetly smiled, throwing her arms around me and softly kissing my lips, "I love you so much..."

~~~~~~

"So, this is the lady I've heard so much about this semester," Lance Krieger smiled, when he met Ashlyn, "It's nice to meet you, Doctor Benson."

"Thank you, Doctor Krieger; it's nice to meet you, too," she politely smiled, "I understand that my husband is one of your finest students."

"Yes, he is," Lance quietly replied, "Or was, by what this drop slip is telling me. Why're you leaving us, Jake?"

I proceeded to tell him about the offer that Ahmet Ertegun had made us, and when I was finished, he looked at me smiling and excitedly asked, "You took the offer, didn't you? Please tell me that you did."

"We did," I grinned, "And we start recording ext week...

~~~~~~

"Congratulations, Jake," Professor Lind McClain smiled, when I told her about the record label deal we'd been offered, "I saw you and your band play at the music festival so; I'm very sure you'll do well."

"Thank you, Professor McClain," I smiled, "I really appreciate the encouragement."

"You're very welcome, sweetie," she gently replied, patting me on the arm, "I'll be able to say that you were one of my students once you become famous. Just don't forget about us little people."

"Come on, Professor McClain," I smiled, "You folks will always have my deepest respect..."

~~~~~~

Dr. Meredith Maxwell was very kind about signing my drop slip, and when I introduced her to Ashlyn, she rose from her desk smiling and told her, "You're a very beautiful woman, Doctor Benson, and I'm so pleased that you're in Jake's life. My only regret is that we're losing him before he finishes his education."

"He'll be back one day, Doctor Maxwell," Ashlyn kindly reassured her, "Or he'll have to deal with me if not."

"My goodness, Jake," Dr. Maxwell lightly teased, "It looks like you received your orders..."

~~~~~~

"Congratulations, Jake," Dr. Heather Tomlinson politely smiled, shaking my hand, "I knew that you were going to do well the very first time I ever heard you play."

"Thanks Heather," I smiled, turning toward Ashlyn, "I want you to meet my wife, Doctor Ashlyn Benson...Ash; this is my guitar teacher, Doctor Heather Tomlinson."

"Wow, no wonder Jake writes such beautiful songs," Heather sweetly replied, "He's got you as an influence. It's nice to meet you, Doctor Benson."

"Thank you, it's nice to meet you, too," Ash graciously replied, "And it's just plain old Ashlyn."

"You're very pretty, Ashlyn," Heather told her, "And you and Jake are going to have beautiful children one day."

"One day soon, too," I proudly replied, "We're going to have a child in a little less than eight months from now."

"That really is good news," Heather excitedly replied, "I'll bet you guys are really excited about it, huh? I know that sure would be..."

~~~~~~

That afternoon when we got home, the phone began ringing not thirty seconds after we'd been in the house.

"Benson residence," I answered, "Jake speaking."

"Hey boy," a familiar female voice replied, "This is Camryn, what're you guys doing right now?"

"We just got home," I grinned, "I had to finish dropping my classes before we go to L.A. next week. Why, what's up?"

"Nothing really bad," Cam smiled, "Can I talk to Ashlyn for a minute?"

"Yeah, she's right here," I smiled, "Hang on a minute," and then I turned to Ash as I handed her the phone and said, "It's Camryn and she wants to talk to you."

"Hi, Cam," Ashlyn smiled, "What can I do for you, sweetie?"

~~~~~~

"It looks like Camryn is going to be spending the rest of the week with us until we leave for Los Angeles," Ashlyn sweetly told me, "Her mother is having both the inside and the outside of their house painted."

"Oh, really," I asked, "And I suppose her mother, Dianna, is going to stay here, too."

"No," Ashlyn knowingly smiled, "Dianna is staying with her boyfriend," and when she saw the hesitation of my response, Ashlyn said, "Lighten up, Jake, besides, the poor thing doesn't have anywhere else to go."

"Aw hell," I said, with Ashlyn quietly squealing because she knew I'd given in, "Okay, but the first time that something happens, I'm going to..."

"Oh, hush," she softly smiled, placing her finger upon my lips to quiet me, "Nothing's going to happen...I've already spoken with Camryn about that sort of thing so; you can relax..."

~~~~~~

"Hi, Jake," Camryn smiled, when I greeted her at the front door, "I appreciate you and Ashlyn letting me stay with you two while they're painting our house. My Mom sends her most sincere thanks, as well."

She'd brought three bags with her, the biggest one, a hanging bag, was slung over her shoulder as she carried the other two by the handles on them. I took the hanging bag from her, as well as the next biggest of the three as I smiled and told her, "Come on, girlie; I'll show you where your room is," and then led her down the hall to the guest rooms...

~~~~~~

I took her into the largest of the three rooms and gently placed one the bags I was carrying on the bed while placing the hanging bag on the dowel rod in the closet so as not to wrinkle whatever was in it.

"I hope this room is comfortable enough for you," I smiled, "As soon as you get squared away, come out in the den and join us for a glass of wine or something."

"Thanks again, Jake," Camryn softly smiled, as she gently hugged my neck, "You and Ashlyn are two of the kindest people I know, and I'm very grateful."

"Come on, Cam," I chuckled, "You're always welcome here, you know that."

"And I love you both because of it," she smiled, "But there's something I want to talk to you about...it concerns the band."

"Uh oh," I said, a bad feeling beginning to suddenly rise in the pit of my stomach, "You're not getting ready to quit, are you?"

"Are you insane or something?" she laughed, "No, I'm not going to quit the band, but it's still something serious...well, at least to me it is."

"Whew," I sighed, relieved, "You had me worried there for a minute."

"Let's get something straight right now, Jake," Camryn suddenly stated, "As far as the band is concerned, I'm in this for the long haul; however long that is so; don't ever think for one second that I'm going anywhere, okay, sweetie?"

"Thanks, Camryn," I respectfully told her, also gently hugging her in return, "I want you to know that I'd be lost if you left the band. Besides, putting this band together was our idea, mine and yours, remember?"

"I never forgot, Jake," she sweetly replied, "I'm just glad to be a part of it."

"Me, too, sweetie," I gently smiled, "Because you're a big part of it, a very big part of it..."

~~~~~~

"So, did you finish dropping all of your classes, Jake?" Camryn asked, as she sat in the den with Ashlyn and I, talking and having a glass of wine.

"Yeah, I hated to do it, too," I told her, "But the band is more important right now."

"I agree," she said, "We've got a lot of work to do when we get to L.A."

"Which reminds me," I asked, "You told me earlier that you had something that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yeah, I do," Camryn knowingly smiled, "What're the chances of you and I being able to write something together to put on the album?"

"Oh, yes, Jake, you should do it," Ashlyn readily agreed, "You two sound fantastic when you sing together; I can only imagine what something that you guys wrote together would sound like."

"Well, we don't have for Los Angeles for at least five more days," I grinned, "Hell, why not? Let me go get my guitar..."

~~~~~~

Chapter Thirty Six

The name of the song that Camryn and I wrote together was, "All That I Am," and at the time, I felt that it was the best song I'd ever written and/or had a part in writing. It had a deep, beautifully haunting melody; hence the reason I wanted to write it in a key that was perfect for Cam's beautifully pure and rich voice.

It took us all of a half hour to get the melody in sync with the lyrics so that it would meter out correctly. Because we wrote a verse and a chorus during the metering process, we needed another verse and another chorus, taking less an hour for completion due to having everything already metered.

The next step was writing the bridge and that took slightly longer. Plus, we also had to write another chorus to corelatingly follow the bridge in order to still maintain the same hook pastern that all the other choruses shared. It provided for the engineer to be able to fade the repeated last lines of the final chorus at the end of the song.

After singing it through three times, that last time with no flaws, we decided to let Ashlyn come back into the room and hear it. We'd chased her off because we wanted to surprise when we were done..."

~~~~~~

I played the song on my guitar, as it was nothing more than a demo of the song, and when the time came, Camryn came in with her pure voice and began to sing. Of course I vocally backed her up during the choruses and bridge, but the song was all her, as in she totally owned it when she sang."

"Holy shit, you guys," Ashlyn excitedly smiled, through the tears that were on her pretty cheeks, "That song could be a number one, trust me. I know good music when I hear it, and that was beyond just being good, it was great."

"Ah Man," I chuckled, "That would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"We need to play this for the rest of the group," Camryn excitedly grinned, "I think they're going to love it..."

~~~~~~

Of course the whole band absolutely loved the song Camry and I had written, and after a few moments' discussion, we all decided that this particular song should more or less be played in a style that we musicians call "Unplugged".

In other words, when the time came for us to perform it live, Keith and I both were going to be playing accoustic guitars, with him taking the lead. The Harris sisters were going to be backing us up on strings and some vocals, while Camryn sang lead.

And like I've already said, it was one of the finest songs I'd ever had a hand in writing, and my opinion was reinforced when, after having heard the song played through the first time, Keith grinned and said, "Damn dude, you two write as well as Lennon and McCartney..."

~~~~~~

The night before we all left for Los Angeles Ashlyn and I were having a goodbye dinner with my parents, and yes, Camryn was with us. Dad had taken the day off and placed a huge brisket over the fire that morning and it had been slowly cooking all day long. Mom and the girls all pitched in to make certain that a feast that was fit for a king was sitting on the table the moment we got to their house.

After all of the greetings had been made, the first thing I said was, "Damn, it smells like you guys laid out quite a spread. How soon can we eat?" and needless to say, Mom led us all to the table, making certain that Ashlyn was seated right next to her.

"You've got that baby growing inside of you, honey," Mom smiled, sweetly making a fuss over Ashlyn, "I just want to make sure that my grandbaby gets enough to eat."

"I wanted to ask you something, Naomi," Ashlyn began, "Did you gain any weight while you were pregnant with your children, and if so; how much did you gain?"

"Oh, honey," Mom smiled, "I gained forty pounds when I was pregnant with Jake, and I'd just finished getting back down to the same size I was before that when I got pregnant with my girls."

"My OB/GYN told me that I could eat whatever I wanted," Ashlyn girlishly giggled, "And I've been stuffing my face ever since."

"That's good," Mom approvingly smiled, "That baby's gonna need all of the nourishment it can get...especially if it takes after its father."

"Oh really," I playfully growled, "And exactly what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you ate like a horse when you were little," Dad teased, "Hell, your mother breast fed you and I still had to make extra formula for you, because you were hungry an hour later, Mister Goose Gut."

"You leave me alone," I laughed, "Besides, I can tell by the size of your ass that you haven't missed any meals lately," which of course elicited a cacophony of laughter from everyone at the table.

"Smart ass kid," Dad chuckled, "Shut up before I get my gun and shoot you right in the ass..."

I'd asked Keith to bring his accoustic guitar along with him, as I had brought mine because I wanted to show him the chord progressions as well as the fingering movements for the song that Camryn and I had just finished writing earlier that day. Also per my instructions, the Harris sisters brought their instruments as well. And because he and Joanie were dating at the time, they later married, but that's another story, he also brought his Bass Violin, or stand up bass, which he'd recently purchased.