Never My Love

"Of course I am, pretty girl," Mom sniffled, "I know in my heart that the two of you will be so good for each other. Besides, I know that you've been hurt before, Ashlyn, and that's something that I can tell you with all honesty that Jake will never do, not ever."

"I don't know how it happened," Ashlyn softly smiled, "But I love him with all of my heart, and I swear that I'll be good to him."

"You see, Mom," Leah grinned, "Me and Laura told you so."

"That's right," Laura smiled, leaning over and gently kissing Ashlyn on the cheek, "We told her that you and Jake were going to fall in love with one another way before it ever happened, Ash."

"How could you two have possibly known that," Ashlyn asked, "And in such a short time, too?"

"Think back to when you removed the bandages from Jake's eyes," Laura told her, "Don't think that Leah and I didn't notice how you two looked at one another."

"But he was just my patient back then," Ashlyn replied, "And falling in love with him, or anyone else for that matter, was the very last thing on my mind."

"Maybe so," Leah knowingly smiled, "But me and Laura both saw it just as plain as day, huh, Sis?"

"Yep," Laura said, smiling at Ashlyn, "We sure did; but, don't try to understand it, Big Sister. You may be a brilliant surgeon and all, but this is a twin thing," and then she and Leah fell into fits of girlish laughter, leaning against one another.

"I love you two," Ashlyn giggled, "As a matter of fact, I love you all very much."

"We love you, too, baby girl," Dad smiled, placing his arm around Ashlyn's shoulder and hugging her from the side, "Welcome to our family, Ashlyn."

"Family," Ashlyn began to sniffle, as she took my hand, and then leaned down and lightly kissed my lips, "I haven't had one of those for a very long time now."

"You do now, my love," I softly replied, gently placing my palm on her tender, beautiful cheek, "You do now..."

~~~~~~

CHRISTMAS EVE

It was about two in the afternoon when I met Ashlyn in the driveway, as she arrived at our house with the trunk of her car laden with gifts for all five of us

"Merry Christmas," I said, taking her hand, helping her from her car the moment she opened her door, "How was the drive down?"

"It wasn't too bad," she smiled, standing up and falling into my arms and kissing me, "Merry Christmas to you, too, baby."

I guess now would be as good a time as any to truly describe Ashlyn. She stands five feet, seven inches tall, and weighs a hundred and twenty pounds. Her measurements at that time were 38C-24-34, and she looked great in the tight jeans she was wearing that day. Her beautiful little butt still fits right into the palm of my hand; and I still enjoy proving it to her at every given opportunity. She and I hadn't had the chance to make love up to that point yet, but it wasn't like we weren't anxious to do so; because we most certainly were, even though I was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

However, Ashlyn's schedule had been rather full as had her patient load, too. But now it was Christmas, and she and I had already told my parents that we were going to be spending New Year's Eve, as well as New Year's Day, alone together at Ashlyn's house in Houston.

Of course they had no problem with that, as I was now nineteen, going on twenty and damn well old enough, as well as mature enough to make my own decision where that sort of thing was concerned. However, my special gift to Ashlyn, and she didn't know it yet, was going to be my virginity, as she was the woman, the only woman, I would be spending the rest of my life with.

~~~~~~

After I helped her carry the gifts into my parent's house, she made me take a seat in the kitchen so that she could look me over one last time before she officially released me from her care. Little did she, or anyone else in the house know, was, I was going to ask her to marry me that night. I didn't need to think about it, hell; my mind had been made up since I came home from the hospital after the final surgery that Ashlyn had performed on me the day after Thanksgiving. I only hoped that she would accept my proposal, and to be honest; I was a little afraid that she wouldn't.

However, once I saw the look in her eyes when she'd finished examining me that last and final time, I knew in my heart that everything was going to be alright. I also hoped that she didn't mind waiting until after I graduated college to get married. That way I would be able to get a job to help support the both of us.

My hopes of working in the entertainment business had been renewed because of the new face she'd given me. I no longer looked like the horrific monster that I once did...or at least thought I did. In its place was a new face; which, according to my parents, my sisters, and last but certainly not least, Ashlyn; was as handsome as any out there, but even moreso as far as my beautiful Ashlyn was concerned.

Of course I was still the same person inside, but now I looked alot differently than I used to, I still had the same eyes, but I looked different nonetheless. And according to the women in my family, Ashlyn included, I looked "Movie Star Handsome," an old saying that my grandmother sometimes used when she was alive.

There was also something else within me that had been renewed, and that was the self confidence and belief in my own self that I'd once allowed Robyn Beryl to rob me of; all of which now seemed like years ago. And like I promised myself, I made sure that I was in love with Ashlyn before I let her into my heart, but then again; Ashlyn is different from anyone I'd ever known before...or since.

~~~~~~

Chapter Four

Ashlyn knew that I played piano and sang, but she'd not yet had the opportunity to hear me. However, Mom remedied that right after we'd all eaten our Christmas Dinner that night, when she said, "Why don't you play for us, Jake? I doubt that Ashlyn has had the opportunity to hear you sing and play and I'll bet the she would really enjoy it."

Because I also began learning to play the guitar when I was ten, I picked up my guitar first and played, "Oh Holy Night", singing the lyrics along with it. When I was done, I could actually feel Ashlyn's love for me, as it literally radiated from her heart into mine, eternally sealing the bond that we now shared.

"Oh, my God, Jake," she softly replied, "I never knew you had such a beautiful voice, baby."

"It's all for you, my love," I tenderly told her, gently kissing her lips, "It's all for you, and only you for as long as I live."

"Play something on the piano, Jake," Laura softly smiled, "Do that old one by Olivia Newton John. You know...the one that you used to play and sing for me and Leah when we were little girls?"

I moved to the piano and began the intro to, "I Honestly Love You", and of course by the time I was finished the song, Ashlyn was reduced to a mass of tears, her head on my shoulder, and her arms wrapped firmly around my waist as she sat next to me on the piano bench.

"That reminds me," I conspiratorially winked at my family, "I've got something I wanted to ask Ashlyn, and I can't think of a better time to ask her than right now."

"What're you up to now, Jake?" Ashlyn suspiciously giggled, "I know you too well so; you'd best tell me and get it over with."

"Alright," I grinned, "Here goes nothing," and then I took her by the hand and told her, "Ashlyn, my love; you know that I love and care for you more than anything in the world, right?"

"Yes," she nervously replied, "Why do you ask, baby?"

"Because," I smiled, dropping to my knee and withdrawing a velvet box from my back pocket and opening it to reveal a one and a half carat diamond solitaire ring, "I love you, and I want to ask you if you would consider spending the rest of your life with me as my wife."

"Oh, my God," she gasped, looking as if she'd seen a ghost, "Jake, are you serious?"

"Yes," I said, looking deeply into her eyes, "I've never been more serious about anything in my life, and I'll never love anyone the way that I love you."

"Oh, Jake, yes," she began to cry, dropping to her knees on the floor next to me and throwing her arms tightly around my neck, "Yes, I'll marry you, you beautiful, sweet, sweet man...I love you so much."

"Oh, Jack," Mom happily sniffled, hugging my father, "Did you hear that?"

"I sure did," Dad proudly grinned, as he hugged Mom, "Does he remind you of anyone you know?"

"I love you, Ashlyn Matthews," I proudly smiled, placing the ring on the ring finger of her left hand, knowing that it would fit perfectly, "I hope you love this ring as much as I love you."

"Oh, Jake, honey," she wept, looking at the ring on her finger, "It's beautiful, baby, oh, my God, I can't believe this is really...finally happening to me."

"I told you that I couldn't imagine living my life without you in it," I smiled, softly kissing the lips of my new bride to be, "So, believe it, my love."

"Jack, Naomi," Ashlyn asked my parents, "Would you two mind terribly if Jake and I went back to my place in Houston tomorrow morning?"

"Of course not, honey," Mom sniffled, taking Ashlyn into her arms, holding her like she was her own, "My son is a grown man now, and neither myself nor his father have a problem with that at all. Hell, you two can even sleep together in Jake's room tonight if you'd like. I mean, you are engaged to be married, sweetheart."

"Thank you," Ashlyn quietly sniffled, kissing Mom's cheek, and then hugging Dad, "Thank you both from the bottom of my heart."

"Hey, Ashlyn," Laura playfully pouted, "Don't Leah and I get hugs? After all, you're going to be our family, too, aren't you?"

"I sure am," Ashlyn smiled, wiping the happy tears from her eyes, "Come here, you two; come and give your big sister a great big hug."

"Thanks, Ash," Leah grinned, hugging her, "Don't get me wrong; I love Jake very much, but I always wanted to have an older sister to talk to about stuff."

"Me, too," Laura grinned, "I love Jake just like Leah does, but guys can be such a pain in the ass sometimes," which of course caused the whole family to fall into a fit of laughter; me included...

~~~~~~

That night, after everyone went to bed, was the first of many magical nights spent with my beautiful Ashlyn. We didn't make love because neither of us wanted to disrespect my family. However, we both lay there, and for the first time since we'd known each other, we seriously talked about our future together, as well as what we expected from one another now that we'd decided to pursue a permanent relationship together.

"So," Ashlyn giggled, "You're sure you want to do this, Jake...marry me, I mean?"

"Of course," I smiled, "I've never been more certain about anything in my life."

"Oh, Jake," she sighed, gazing at the ring I'd placed on her finger earlier, "This stuff only happens in movies, baby."

"So, look at it this way," I grinned, "You're more beautiful than any movie star I've ever seen, and that's all that matters to me."

"I think you're beautiful, too," she grinned, "Who do you think made that gorgeous face of yours anyway, handsome?"

"God did," I teased, "You just rearranged it after it got burned, that's all."

"Smart ass," she giggled, then looked me in the eyes and asked, "Seriously though, do you like what I did with your face...I mean...do you really like it?"

"I love it," I softly told her, "But not nearly as much as I love you."

"I love you, too, Jake," she replied, "I only hope that you don't get tired of me as you get older. People do change their minds after a while you know."

"It's like I keep telling you, Ashlyn," I smiled, "Never, my love."

"That reminds me," she smiled, "There's a song that's been out for a long time now called, "Never My Love". Do you know which one I'm talking about?"

"I sure do," I smiled, "It's by a group called "The Association" and it's one of the first songs I learned to play when I was younger."

"I love that song," she softly told me, "Can you still play it?"

"Yeah," I grinned, "I can play it on both piano and guitar."

"Oh, there's something else I wanted to ask you," she said, "You've got a really beautiful voice, Jake. Will you bring your guitar with you tomorrow and play some more for me when we get to my house in Houston?"

"Of course I will," I told her, gently kissing her soft, sweet lips, "Anytime, anywhere, baby."

"You really do love me, don't you, Jake?"

"Yes, I do," I smiled, "I love you with all my heart, Ash, and I'll love you for the rest of my life if you'll let me."

"I wish that my family were still alive," she despondently said, "My mother would've absolutely adored you."

"We'll all meet again one day," I told her, "Which reminds me, I need to ask you something."

"Go ahead," she said, "Ask me anything you want."

"Do you believe in God?" I asked her. "It's very important to me that you do."

"I used to," she sadly replied, "But after my family was killed, I quit praying altogether."

"I can understand that," I gently told her, "But there's a reason that things happen, and God always does things for that same reason ya know."

"If you say so," she replied, "But I'm still wondering why he would let my family die in the horrible way that they did."

"I wish that I could answer that one for you, baby, I really do," I regretfully told her, "But if anything, don't you think he might be compensating you for that loss by placing the two of us in one another's lives?"

"Now that makes more sense to me than anything I've heard up to this point in my life, it really does," she sniffled, "But I still miss my family very much, Jake."

"I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling," I told her, tenderly hugging her, "But I promise you that I'll never ever hurt you; and I'll do whatever it takes to keep you happy."

"And you really mean that, too," she softly smiled, "Don't you, baby?"

"I've never lied to you," I said, "And I'm not about to start now."

"I believe you," she told me, "And that's why I want to ask you something right here and now...and please be honest with me."

"Like I've already told you, Ashlyn," I said, looking deeply into her beautiful blue eyes, "I'll always tell you the truth so; I want you to feel free to ask me anything you want."

"Alright then," she said, sitting up in the bed to look into my eyes, "Have you ever had a girlfriend before, and if so, do you still have feelings for her?"

That was when I reminded her of Robyn Beryl, as well as the events that took place when we first met. I also told her how I let my heart get ripped out by the roots when Robyn and I had our last encounter.

And then when I was finished, Ashlyn looked at me and said, "So, it's over between you two, and there's no chance of anything ever happening again?"

"I never had what you would call a proper relationship with her to begin with," I said, "It was just a boyhood crush, nothing more."

"Good," she sniffled, lying back down and pulling me into her arms, "Because you belong to me, now; and I'm never going to let you go, Jake; I mean it. But I'm willing give you one last chance to back out if you're not sure about us, though."

"And this is the last time I'm going to say this," I smiled, "You're it, as far as I'm concerned, and I don't want anyone else...not ever, okay?"

"Okay, baby," she softly sniffled, "I just wanted to make sure. You don't blame me for that, do you?"

"Of course not," I softly replied, gently pulling her into my arms and holding her firmly against me, "Let's get some sleep. We've got a long drive after we open our gifts tomorrow morning."

"Okay, good night, Jake," she softly purred, "I love you."

"I love you, too," I smiled, "And good night to you, my angel..."

~~~~~~

"Merry Christmas, you two," Mom knowingly grinned, as Ash and I walked into the kitchen together that next morning, "How did you sleep, Ashlyn?"

"Very well, thank you," she sweetly smiled, "And a Merry Christmas to you, too, Naomi."

Mom made us all a very nice breakfast, and of course Ashlyn insisted that she be allowed to help; but once everything was on the table and we were all seated around it, Dad stood up and asked the blessing.

"We thank thee, oh Lord, for all of the blessings that you've bestowed upon us this year," he began, "Thank you for not only the fellowship of family, Lord, but most of all, we want to thank you for bringing Ashlyn into our family. Not only did she save the life of our Jake, but she also filled the empty place in his heart as he filled the empty place in hers. As she has no family, Lord, we ask that you make her feel as welcome and as happy to be a member of our family, and just as proud as we are to have her here. Most of all, Lord, please let her know how very much we love her, and we ask that you bless her as you have blessed us...in Jesus' name we pray...Amen."

When I opened my eyes again, I discovered that Ashlyn was sitting next me with tears pouring down her beautiful face, making me look at her and ask, "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay," she sweetly smiled, "It's just that...well, I've never felt more loved than I do right now...not for a very long time."

"We love you very much, pretty girl," Dad gently told her, reaching across the table and gently patting her hand, "You're a member of our family now as far as we're concerned, and we don't ever want you to forget that, okay?"

"Thank you, Jack," Ashlyn smiled, looking around the table at all of us, "Thank you all, very much."

"You're very welcome, my daughter," Mom tenderly and quietly smiled, "And we're all very grateful and thankful to have you here with us today."

"That's right," Leah smiled, placing her arm around Ashlyn as she was sitting on the other side of her, "Now there are four women in the family instead of three; and we can finally gang up on Dad and Jake and kick their asses."

"Hell yeah," Laura giggled, "We're finally going to have a Big Sister, and the only thing I can think of to say is, it's about time."

~~~~~~

After we'd all eaten breakfast, Dad and I volunteered to clean up the kitchen. However, Mom wouldn't let us, telling Ashlyn and I that we needed to get ready to head to Houston. Because according to Mom, the traffic wouldn't be so bad if we got an early start, so; that's what we did. Of course I didn't have the heart to remind Mom that it was Christmas Day and there probably wouldn't be much traffic, if any.

After taking our showers, separately of course, we sat down and opened gifts. I thought Mom was going to have a heart attack when she opened the envelope that Ashlyn handed her, containing a Five Hundred-Dollar Gift Certificate to the new Neiman-Marcus store that had just been built at the Westgate Mall in Houston.

"Oh, Ashlyn, honey," Mom softly said, "You shouldn't have done this, baby girl."

"Bullshit," Ash quietly giggled, "We girls have to look out for one another."

"I love you, Ashlyn," Mom sniffled, "And thank you for such a kind and generous gift."

Ashlyn simply smiled, and said, "I love you, too," as she handed Dad his gift.

"Oh, wow," Dad boyishly grinned when he saw what was beneath the wrapping paper of his gift from Ashlyn, "I don't know where you laid your hands on these Cuban Cigars, baby girl, but make sure you keep a close connection with whoever got you these so I'll know where to go once I've smoked all of these up. Thank you, baby girl," as he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"You're welcome, Jack," Ash sweetly smiled, "I'm glad you like them."

The icing on the cake was when my sisters both opened their gifts from Ashlyn at the same time. It was the first time I'd ever seen either one of my sisters, much less both of them, become totally speechless. Instead they both began to cry, and in the process, they both hugged Ashlyn tightly, telling her, "Thank you, Big Sister," and all of it taking place at the same time.