New Older Man

At 28 years old I hadn't been with a man for three years. The first two years after my husband died, I couldn't bare the thought of another man touching me. I felt like it was cheating. Jake wasn't supposed to die in that car accident. He was supposed to grow old and gray with me. Jake was gone and I knew I had to move on, but acknowledging this didn't make things any easier. Still, at twenty-eight I wasn't willing to spend the rest of my life alone.

This last year, familiar urges returned to my body. I craved a man's hands holding me, touching me, sliding up and down my body. I wanted to kiss a man passionately and slide my hands all over his body. I wanted a man to rip my clothes off in a "I gotta have you now" kind of way. Most of all I wanted companionship again. I lived in a big house and it seemed so lonely. There was nobody around for me to talk to about my day at work or anything else on my mind. Sure I had friends, but not a best friend with benefits like a husband or boyfriend. It was so hard for me to go to work and hear about my fellow teachers going out with their husbands or boyfriends. They all seemed so happy, and I wanted to be happy like that again.

My best friend and fellow teacher, Beth, encouraged me to explore these feelings. She even tried setting me up on a few blind dates, but none of the men appealed to me. I knew why too.

"You have a thing for John Hanson? But he must be at least twice your age!" squealed Beth, after I told her the reason why the last blind date didn't work.

"He's 50 and still damn handsome," I said more in my defense than John's.

"I can't argue with you there, and he doesn't wear a wedding band so he looks awfully available," grinned Beth.

John Hanson was also a teacher, a physics teacher to be more exact. He stood about 6'5", had a lean build from running every day often past my house in the morning. His hair was still mostly black with a sprinkle of gray hair. And his eyes...well they captivated me. They were a deep blue and every time I looked at them, I felt as if I couldn't pull away. I don't know how many times I blushed because I continued to make eye contact long after it was appropriate. And his voice was equally captivating. It was somewhat deep, and had a radio DJ's quality to it.

John's looks weren't his only attributes. He was damn smart. I often found myself wondering why he didn't go on to be a professor, why he bothered to work with often rude high school students? Every time I saw the man in the teacher's lounge, he was carrying one book or another on various topics. He caught my attention one day (truthfully he caught it every day) when I saw him reading a history book. I am a history teacher and had read the book he was half way through.

"That's a great book. I picked it up one night and the next thing I knew, the sun was coming up," I said, laughing at my own joke.

He looked up from the book and smiled at me. Those eyes, they held me and I couldn't turn away even if I wanted to. "I can't agree more. I almost wish I could cancel class today. I'd love to sit here and finish it."

"The other teachers might get jealous if you knock off for the day," I said, smiling.

"You're probably right, Jan," he said breaking eye contact to look at the clock.

That was habit of his, to say the name of the person he was speaking to at the end of a sentence. I loved it. I imagined how he would say my name if he were making love to me, but then quickly tried to clear the thought from my mind.

John closed the book and stood up, "If you have a chance, I'd love to discuss the book with you sometime," he said while walking toward the door.

"Sure, John I would love to," I said, smiling at him, wondering if I would scream his name if he were making love to me. I had to clear these thoughts from my mind. I was at work and John hadn't shown that kind of interest in me.

John nodded his head and smiled at me as he walked out the door to go to his class. I could feel the wetness in my panties as he left. How serious was he about discussing the book? I pictured us sitting comfortably on my living room couch, holding glasses of wine as we talked and laughed, a copy of the book we intended to discuss forgotten on the coffee table. Then I saw him standing up and walking over to turn on my stereo, tuning the radio to a soft jazz station. He walked over to me with his hand extended, "Care to dance?" Setting my wine glass down, I accepted his hand, and found myself pulled close to his tall lean body. It felt so good being so close. Feeling his hot breath warming my neck as he held me with two arms around my waist, my wetness only increasing. Finally, feeling the bulge in his pants grow as he pulled my body even closer to his.

"Jan, what are you thinking about? Must be good because you have a dreamy look on your face."

Beth startled me. How long had I been standing there daydreaming about John? Thank goodness Beth was the one to discover me and not some other teacher.

I blushed and stuttered "I...I ..."

"Let me guess, you were thinking about John," she smiled.

"How did you know?"

"You just told me and he was on his way out as I was walking in."

I was blushing and trying to think of anything to excuse my behavior. Beth just laughed at me and pulled me over to the table.

"Come on let's eat, and you can tell me all about what you were thinking."

Eat? That's what I had come to the lounge for, to eat my lunch. John had made me completely forget this.

"Oh it's nothing, just a silly daydream," I said trying to change the subject.

"Yeah right, you're acting goofier than a high school girl thinking about her first crush."

"Oh please Beth, I am not."

"Sure, and you aren't wet right now?"

My returning blush was all the answer Beth needed.

"You've got it bad! Why don't you just ask him out on a date? It's better than getting up early every morning just to watch him run by your house, and it might stop you from standing in the middle of the teachers' lounge with a dreamy look on your face. You're lucky I'm the one who found you."

"I can't ask him out. I am more than 20 years younger than him. He might be offended."

"Yes, some 50 year old man is going to be offended because some 28 year old woman wants to throw her body at him."

"Beth!"

"Tell me it isn't true."

Dammit, why was she always right? I would love to be in his arms with my body pressed tight against his. Most of all I wanted him tearing at my clothes, getting them off as quickly as possible.

"See I knew it," Beth said as she watched my dreamy look return.

"I don't know. It's been so long since I've been with a man, and all I am managing to do now is act like a school girl."

"So put on a school girl outfit, go over to his house, and ask him for a date. If he's any kind of man, the date will begin right then!"

"Beth, stop it!"

"Jan, I can't stand seeing you like this. You are too young to spend the rest of your life alone. Either you ask him out or I'll do it for you."

"You wouldn't dare. What are you going to do, pass him a note asking 'Do you want to go out with Jan? Circle yes or no.'"

"If that's what it takes to get you on a date with a guy who clearly has your attention, then yes."

I glared at Beth, but said nothing. Ever since I told her I wanted to start dating again, she had been dogging me about it every step of the way. She wasn't going to let up any time soon. I loved Beth, and appreciated she was so concerned about my happiness, but sometimes she could be so damned annoying about the whole dating issue. I had to ask John out before she did it for me, but how to do it?

* * *

It was because of Beth's threat that I found myself planting flowers in my long disused garden in the front of my house at 5:30am. I was waiting for John to run by, hoping to "accidentally" catch his attention. I kept looking up, hoping to see his tall figure making its way down the sidewalk. He was so beautiful when he ran. The muscles in his long legs flexing with every step, and his muscular chest thrust forward so his muscles were outlined through the t-shirt. Seeing him run by every morning was such a wonderful way to begin the day.

A smile spread across my face as I saw his figure turn the corner. I quickly bent over pretending to dig a whole for the plant. My clothes had been carefully selected this morning. I didn't want to look desperate by wearing an outfit that revealed too much, but I didn't want my body to go unnoticed. I had settled on a pair of tan Capri pants that flattered my rear, and a somewhat tight white top with a push up bra to show off my B cup breasts.

"Jan, good morning. You've certainly picked an odd time to do some gardening."

I turned around and did my best to look surprised to see him. "Oh, good morning John. I didn't know you ran this early in the morning," I lied.

"Oh really, who did you think was running by all those morning when you were looking out the window?"

I was horrified. He knew I watched him out my bedroom window every morning, and never said anything? The red seeped into my face, and I began to stutter worse than a school girl around her crush.

John laughed, "Relax Jan, it's flattering to have a fan like you. An old man like me doesn't get many looks from young women like you."

"You're not old," I blurted out.

"Thank you, you're making me feel at least ten years younger. What are you planting?"

"I...um...planting..." What was I planting? I didn't even know. After work I ran over to a home improvement store and grabbed the first pretty flowers I saw sitting outside. I didn't even look at the names, and truthfully I had no idea how to plant them.

John walked over, and pulled out the white name marker from one of the flower cartons. "It looks like you're trying to plant petunias. You've never gardened before, have you Jan?"

"No," I admitted, feeling as if I would never stop blushing. There was no way I could ask him on a date now. I had made too much of a fool of myself. I was beginning to wonder if I shouldn't switch schools and neighborhoods now.

"I'd be glad to help you. I haven't gardened in awhile, but I still remember the basics."

"What about your run? Don't you want to finish it?"

"I can run any time. Really, Jan, I don't mind. It'll be fun to garden again."

"All right, why not? I know I need the help." My panties got wet. I couldn't believe I was going to work along side this sexy man. I couldn't believe he was still willing to talk to me, and not ask me why I was planting petunias at 5:30am. Something in the back of my mind told me he probably already knew the answer, and the thought made me even wetter.

"Great! First things first. We need to dig up all the weeds before we plant anything."

John and I worked steadily for an hour. In that time he told me he had lost his wife about seven years ago to cancer. He had dated a little since then, but no one interested him. I told him about how I lost my husband in a car accident, and said I hadn't found anyone appealing to date either. I felt so comfortable with him. He was so open and honest, and such a gentleman. His rear bumped into mine accidentally when we were turning in opposite directions. It sent a thrill down my spine that ended right in my panties. John seemed embarrassed by what happened. He apologized profusely. I gave him a giant smile and told him it was no big deal. I wanted to tell him he could bump into me any time he liked and for as long as he wanted.

"Wow, look at the time," I said looking down at my watch.

John looked down at his, "6:30, we need to get ready for work. I really need a shower."

"Me too," images of us in the shower together came to mind. Hands and lips everywhere.

John was looking down at the garden, and didn't notice the dreamy look that had no doubt taken over my face again.

"It looks like we have most of the weeding done. We can plant the flowers later this evening, that is if you don't mind."

"No, I would love to finish the garden with you," I quickly responded, feeling thrilled because we had a date planned, even if it wasn't officially called a date.

"Great, I'll be over around 6:45 or so. It will be cooler then."

"Sounds like a plan," I responded lamely.

John smiled, stretched his legs a bit, and began jogging away. I watched him until he was out of view, enjoying his rear muscles work under his shorts.

Once in the house I showered quickly, picked out a new outfit to wear. Something flattering, but work appropriate. I wanted to look my best for when I saw John in the teacher's lounge.

Once at work, the morning dragged by so slowly. During the period before lunch I was antsier than my students to go to lunch. John and my lunch break only overlapped for ten minutes. When the bell rang, I had to control myself so I wasn't the first one out of the room. My students were probably wondering about my behavior to begin with, and high school students were oh so good at starting rumors. I didn't need to encourage them.

After every student had left the room, I quickly grabbed my lunch bag from my desk drawer and dashed out of the room. I found John sitting in the teacher's lounge reading a book about gardening. I wasn't surprised.

"Hi John."

John looked up and smiled warmly. "Hello Jan, I was just giving myself a refresher on gardening."

I smiled back and chuckled, "Some how I'm not surprised. You must have a book about everything at your house."

"My wife used to say that too." John looked almost surprised that statement came out of his mouth. Other than that morning, I had never heard him talk about his wife. As far as I could tell, no other teacher but myself knew what happened.

"John," I said while walking towards him, "please don't ever feel hesitant to talk about your wife around me. I know how hard it is to lose a spouse, and it's nice to know someone else who understands what I've been through."

A look of relief and understanding washed over his face. "Thank you, Jan. That means a lot to hear."

I smiled back at him and took a seat next to him. "Reading anything interesting in that gardening book?"

"You'll see," he said in somewhat mischievous tone. He then looked up at the clock, shut his book, stood up, and walked toward the door.

"I'll see you this evening, Jan."

He said this right as Beth walked through the door. Her face lit up with a giant smile, which she promptly tried to cover up by giving John an overly exuberant greeting. John smiled back, looking a bit startled, and then threw me one last smile before he left.

"I can't believe you have a date with him. You actually did it," Beth squealed.

"Keep your voice down, I don't want him to hear. Besides it isn't actually a date." I proceeded to tell Beth, in great detail what had happen that morning. She got a good laugh at my expense.

"I can't believe he knew you were watching him run all this time. I would have buried myself in the garden right then and there if he had said that to me. I don't care what you want to call it, it looks like a date to me, and I am so happy for you."

"Thanks Beth."

The rest of the day dragged by more slowly than the morning did. It didn't help that my afternoon classes were taking a test. I couldn't even distract myself with teaching. Instead I sat behind my desk, attempting to correct papers while trying to push steamy thoughts aside of John and me in bed together.

When I finally got home, I took a shower, found another pair of Capri pants to wear, and put on an even tighter shirt. I was tempted to go braless, but that was just a bit too obvious. Instead I settled for another pushup bra. I tied my shoulder length brown hair up in a pony tail and applied light make up. Looking at myself in the mirror, I decided I looked good enough to eat, or at least I hoped John thought so.

Next, I ran around the house cleaning it up. I also put a bottle of wine in the fridge in hopes that I could entice John to come in and join me on couch. Maybe I would get that dance to soft jazz yet. After all that there was nothing more to do then wait. This whole day had been about waiting. It didn't help that John had left on such a mischievous note. What was he up to? Another hour before I found out.

About ten minutes before John said he would arrive, I was sure to be outside clearing out any last weeds. Five minutes into the job, John pulled up in his car and hopped out. I gave him a big smile and a warm hello. He was dressed in a pair of shorts, tennis shoes, and t-shirt. The man looked ready to work and very yummy.

"Jan come help me pull all this stuff out of my car."

"What stuff?"

"Gardening stuff. Different types of flowers, enriched soil, hoes, all kinds of stuff."

I walked over to his car and looked in. On his back seat he had an assortment of all different types of flowers. I didn't know the names of any of them, but they looked beautiful. In his trunk were a couple bags of soil, and other gardening supplies.

"Wow, I can't believe you brought all these things over. That's so sweet of you."

"My pleasure. Besides if we are going to put all this work into your garden, I don't want you to have only petunias in it. Your garden needs to be as pretty as you are."

I blushed. This was the first time he openly flirted with me. A glass of wine after gardening was looking more and more possible. The thought excited me quite a bit. I felt a lovely tingly sensation, and wondered if I wouldn't have to excuse myself to change my panties before the gardening work was through.

"Let's get started," John said, while handing me a carton full of pretty pink flowers.

We worked for two hours. When I finally stood up to survey the garden, I was amazed by how beautiful it looked. Even in the dimming light of the evening I knew it looked great. While looking over our work, I began massaging my lower back. All that kneeling down and digging left me a bit stiff in the area.

"Here let me help you with that." I felt John's hand on my lower back and his wonderful fingers rub my stiffness away.

"Mmm, that feels so good. Where did you learn to massage so well?"

"My wife was a massage therapist so I picked up a thing or two," John said.

I wanted to stay standing there for a long time feeling his hands on me, but the mosquitoes had other ideas.

"Would you like to come inside before we get sucked dry out here?"

"Sure, why not?"

John followed behind me as I walked up the steps to my door. I hoped he was looking over my backside as it swayed when I took each step. Anything to make him want me, take me. I was so open to any possibility at the moment. A shower, romp in bed, more massaging, whatever it took to get his hand back on me again.

"Make yourself at home. How does some wine sound?"

"That sounds great," John said while falling heavily on my couch.

"Don't fall asleep on me now, " I laughed as I walked away to get the wine.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't do that to you," he called after me.

I returned with two wine glasses each filled with generous portion of wine. I handed one to John, and sat down next to him, as close as I dared.

"I see your plan now. You're trying to seduce me by getting me drunk."

I laughed, "I would never do such a thing."

John held up his wine glass, "A toast to new beginnings."

I smiled, feeling more excited by the moment, clinked my glass to his and took a large gulp of wine. It wasn't the most lady like thing I had done, but I wanted to calm my nerves.

John watched me intently seeming to very much enjoy the view. His stare made me nervous. I wish he would kiss me or grab me, anything at all. In an effort to reduce some of the tension I was feeling, I began rolling my head from side to side. My neck was stiff too from the gardening. I watched John reach his hand over and begin massaging the back of my neck.