Nipped in the Pre-Nup

Make of it what you will.

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Maddie came down the stairs of my old Fraternity House, down into the basement recreation lounge. To find me sprawled across one of the couches, bemoaning my suffering from yet another hangover.

Hey! We Pahrteyed!! last night well into this morning.

With a grim look on her face, she chewed me out.

"Johnny, you idiot! You no longer live in this fraternity house anymore! Why do you continue to carouse with this bunch of perpetually adolescent drunks?"

I was trying to articulate a response. Well, maybe just moan at her to turn the yelling down before my head exploded.

She looked sad and in a soft voice continued.

"Time for you to grow up John and learn how to be a man. Because obviously neither this fraternity nor the university has made any effort to encourage you to maturity."

She handed me a bottle of water and a couple of acetaminophen. I took it with shaking hands and only spilled a bit of water down my t-shirt. With a sigh, my fiance helped me up and insisted.

"Come on now, let's get you back to your apartment so you can clean up. We have to be at your parent's in two hours. I do not want to get blamed for us being late."

***************

The introductions were cold and curt. Maddie was wondering why she had found me at my old fraternity house. Well, here it is! The death-ray glare from my Mother and the pissed-off attitude from my Father.

That Pater had been stuck with having to listen to Mother's ranting and raving since their return from that cruise. When they found out I had gotten myself engaged while they were traveling. Since they arrived home, I've been hiding out where I could get a flop.

Finally switching from ocularly flaying me. With a small frown that deepen into a scowl, Mother scrutinized Madelynne. Obviously, she suspected that there was more to this attractive young woman then a pleasant surface would evidence.

As usual Father was paying way too much attention to mixing the martinis. In his usual business oriented manner, he was ignoring the young lady since she had been introduced to him and once he realized she has nothing to do with his business interests.

I just stood there, uneasily fidgeting. Knowing from experience how my Mother always reacted to every young woman I bring home, whose family is not listed in the sacred annals of the all important Social Registry.

If Madelynne was nervous at their inspection, I couldn't tell. She delicately held my arm as she mirrored Father's indifference. While somehow, simultaneously matching Mother's snobbish pout.

From where my elbow accidentally pressed into her side, I could feel Maddie's suppressed laughter at my parents pretentious behavior.

After Father served the martinis, we each took a seat in the Drawing Room. I noticed Maddie only took a polite sip of her martini. As I started to drink, she gave me a look of 'Don't!'

I blushed and put the half-empty glass on the glass table then nibbled at the olives and then the toothpick to sooth my nerves.

Mother's eyes narrowed at the byplay between my fiance and myself. I'll bet she thought that Maddie was being too bossy towards someone of my breeding and social standing.

Mother seemed to realize, at least subconsciously, that Maddie was probably not only lacking in social standing but was most certainly lacking in the proper subservient sucking-up due from a lower-class parvenu.

In the poisonously sweet tone she uses to put down the the gauche who have had the temerity to approach her without being officiously summoned. Mother asked.

"So Dear, what does your family do?"

Matching her tone for tone, Madelynne looked her in the eye and replied.

"My Mother is a Doctor, specializing in Endocrinological medical research. My Father is a Civil Engineer, now consulting on large-scale Public Works."

"The rest of my Family are a variety. A couple of Scientists -one a Petroleum Geologist - the other a Chemist in Chitin Polymeric research. There is an Industrial Architect, a television News Producer, several career Military Officers and a cousin who was just elected County Sheriff. He had been a USDA Agronomist."

"Oh yes. Mustn't forget. There is my Aunt Maureen. As an artist she is the black-sheep of the family. She plays the celesta for the Metropolitan Symphony and the New City Opera. Plus, she freelances as an illustrator for online feminist and lesbian comix."

"You understand in my family there is no objection to her being a lesbian. The other family members disapprove of her for being in an ephermal field as the liberal arts."

"Most of my family get off on the hard core sciences. How many miles of highway built. How many research subjects tested. How many blocks of news programming produced. How many warheads delivered to designated targets."

Father grumbled. "They damn well better! The bloated salaries paid for their so-called 'expertise' takes up too much of the taxes I have to pay."

For a moment Mother seemed to be taken aback at all of what Maddie recited. Ignoring Father's diatribe as Mother knew full well only the lower classes actually have to pay taxes. Gamely she rallied and tried to get personal with the younger woman.

"What about yourself, dear? I believe you are still at the University?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I have a Masters in Astrophysics and am about to finish a degree in Plasmic Domain Engineering. Next, I will begin working on a Doctorate in Mathematical Theory."

Before Mother could interrupt and as the question I had died in my throat (What the heck is Plasmem Dominant Engineering?). Maddie continued laying out her credentials.

"In addition, I am one of the assistant-directors for a combined research program for the University and NASA/JPL."

Again, before Mother could interrupt, Maddie continued.

"We are exploring Gev level energetic interactions between gravitational manifolds and quasar emissions of plasmic jets. Our research program may turn out to be useful for engineering fusion reactors or for designing a new method of high-speed space travel."

This left all three of us rather stunned. I was wondering what the hell all of that meant. I mean, I was a Business Major. Didn't have any need to learn amy of that science crap.

***************

We all sat down to dinner in the Formal Dining Room, with our Butler and the kitchenmaid serving us. Maddie had no problems using the multitude of utensils, in correct order of the dinner service. During a lull in the conversation, Maddie made a rather strange comment to my Mother.

"I see that you follow the French custom, with the cutlery face down. Instead of the British, who set these face up?"

In a haughty tone Mother replied "Our staff are French. They are more than adequate at fulfilling their duties."

From the uncertain tone of her voice, it was obvious that Mother had no idea of the difference.

Madelynne just gave her a bland look and a nod. While, obvious to me anyway, enjoying the misgivings her polymathy was causing my Mother.

Changing the conversation, Maddie complimented my Father for his choice of the wines with each course. Though I wonder who actually decided? I could see our Butler's face sort of pinch as my dear Pater puffed up and modestly bragged about his knowledge as an oenophilist. Father has never been shy about accepting credit for the work of his underlings.

Then Father and Madelynne had a polite disagreement over whether or not the Beaujolais nouveau wines produced the last ten years are finally restoring their credibility as a quality product.

I did not bother interjecting an opinion. I just drink whatevers in front of me. No concern of mine what or how they make the stuff.

It all pisses out eventually.

Mother looked peeved that Maddie seemed to be holding her own in the debate with Father. Who prided himself on his discerning palate and did not at all enjoy being shown up by a female connoisseur, a young woman and a theoretical scientist of all things!

I wonder which bothered him the most?

I think Mother's temper was boiling that, every time I started to reach for a drink of each wine, Maddie would give me the 'evil eye'.

Once, pretending to be flirting with me, my darling fiance leaned over and whispered into my ear

"John, if you get drunk tonight at this dinner, I will stick all of this shiny flatware where the sun don't shine!"

Then she sat up as her and Mother shared another flurry of sickly sweet smiles of mutual dislike at one another. My stomach did a flip-flop and I made certain to drink a lot of water.

***************

After dinner, we returned to the Drawing Room for coffee and brandy. Finally to discuss the Pre-Nuptial agreement, my parents were insisting that my fiance sign.

That of course would be done tomorrow at our attorney's offices, with her attorney present and non-employee witnesses and a notary present.

Maddie turned from her end of the Chesterfield we are sitting on, to face the stern judgmental visage of my Mother. In as cold a voice as I have ever heard from my fiance's lips, Madelynne energetically lumberjacked my family tree.

"Your Family has maintained their inheritance of wealth and property. To be passed on, intact hopefully, to your son and his acknowledged descendants. At best,your Family preserves the past."

Stretching out the moment Madelynne paused. For the effect I suspect. Then, with a faint, tight smile she continued.

"Whilemy Family is building the future!"

"You need me to sign this pre-nuptial agreement to bolster your familial pretensions to social superiority."

Mother flushed at that bold statement, I blanched. Father really didn't seem to be paying any attention to the conversation. His concentration seemed to be below Maddie's chin?

"I have read the entire document. What legalese I did not understand, I had my family's attorney decipher for me.

What I do now understand is that this agreement would have contractual powers through Civil Actions that severely penalizes me for any failure to successfully bear children, fathered by your son. Even if the cause of the failure is not traceable to me."

My Mother loftily proclaimed "We do have high standards for breeding our proud lineage."

Maddie just looked at her for a moment, obviously trying to think of a polite rejoinder. Should she express scorn or laugh out loud? Instead she took a deep breath and continued on with her analysis of the points in the pre-nup.

"There would be additional penalties, if I fail to maintain the proper public social decorum for my station as a lower-ranking subordinate of your family. Or failing to express my personal subservience to any of you in particular."

"Or, if I do not remain faithful and obedient and submissive to my husband. Interpretations of those situational relations to be decided by your whims."

"That I waive any and all claims, under any circumstances during my lifetime, to alienating any of your family's entailed property. Or any expectation of financial reward for simply tolerating the lot of you."

Another pregnant pause, then with a slight smile she went on.

"Now that hurts. I wonder? Would anybody associate with any of you, unless they were being paid to?"

I about fainted at that. With a gathering fury in her eyes Mother was glaring at Maddie. Father was still not paying attention, he was looking at her legs under that dress. I have to agree with Pater, they are rather attractive legs for a short woman.

Interrupting my reverie about her legs, Madelynne ruthlessly continued.

"I am also relieved at that clause. Otherwise you would be implying that I am a whore, fucking your son for money."

Mother's face was turning purple with rage. God, I need a drink! But Maddie had moved my goblet of brandy away and is only permitting me the coffee.

"Instead, you are making it explicitly clear that I am at best, to be a poorly paid servant and surrogate womb for your family. That MY children will be raised and educated as dictated by YOUR family interests."

"Finally, that I waive any future judicial review of this contract."

She then turned to me and drew my attention away from moping at the brandy set out of my reach. Till I was again quailing at her Ice Queen visage

"So John. Do you require me to sign this?"

Mother made an inarticulate negative, as if either of us had any choice in the matter! Disconcerted, Father looked at her and then started to catch up with the conversation. I sat indecisive, waiting for somebody to tell me what I should say.

My mouth opened and closed, then again as I tried to think of what I could offer to reconcile our differences.

Maddie looked sadly at her left hand. Then with a sigh, she pulled off the engagement ring I had given her four weeks ago.

Retrieving the scarlet ring-box out of her jacket pocket, the younger woman set the ring inside the satin cushioning and snapped it shut. With a fatalistic, loud clap that made the three of us start.

Then pressed it into my hand.

With tears in her eyes, Maddie looked at me and said

"I am sorry Johnny but it turns out that your parents are correct about one thing. It had to happen sooner or later."

Mother was sputtering at that...trying to sort out if she was angry at Maddie's slights or happy that this ill-bred mongrel was refusing to marry me. Perhaps conflicting feelings that this uppity 'girl' was making the final decision and not accepting my Mother's fiat?

"They are correct John, Johnny. That you are a twenty-four year old child and you are too immature to be married to an adult woman."

What the fuck am I suppose to say to that? I thought she loved me? I'm fucking rich! What more do I need to do?

"When you finally grow up and become the mature man I mistakenly thought I was to marry. If you still have any interest in me asyour wife. If you still bear me any love, John. And if you can forsake all others and cleave only unto me."

Her eyes glistened as my stomach did flip=flops.

"Come look for me and let us see if we can build an adult relationship. Perhaps one day, you will pull your handsome head out of your adolescent ass and we can once again consider the possibility of marriage between us. However, I would only agree to marry John the Man, not Johnny, the boy."

She looked at me with such yearning sadness, her eyes openly pleading with me to prove her wrong. I just looked away, shamefacedly staring down at my handmade Italian loafers.

There was a catch in her voice, that about broke my heart.

"My dear boy, keep this in mind while you are slogging your way through this social quagmire in which you are trapped. I will not wait forever."

What am I suppose to do now?

"I do want to have children. I will have an adult husband. Who will have the maturity to deserve to be my children's father."

Each blunt statement made me flinch.

"Since that is not you at this time, if I meet a better candidate? Well.......I will be sorry I left you behind, you will become a pleasant memory."

I cringed back from that. I don't remember agreeing to us having any kids for a while.

"However, I will go on and I will have a family with a husband I can love and respect. A man who will love and respect me for the person I am and what I accomplish as a mother and as a wife. As a citizen and as a scientist."

I suddenly realized why she had insisted on driving us here for this dinner. Obviously Maddie had previously realized my failure to grow up to her standards. Enabled and entitled by our inherent wealth, my family would continue to perpetuate my life as a slacker.

When I failed to respond to her final entreaty, she realized that I am most likely a lost cause and she will now have to go on with the rest of her life, without me.

***************

As we listen to her car, fade down the driveway and out the open gate to the street. The three of us sat there, avoiding looking at one another.

Numbly, I stewed in my ignorance of how to grow up. Wondering what are the responsibilities of maturity?

My Father let out a breath of relief that he would not have to deal with a knowledgable and competent female subordinate. Whom he secretly feared could do his job better then himself.

My Mother was deep in thought, probably considering which of her friend's daughters are still available. I guess I will have to eventually settle for marrying one of our Country Club Set, inbred, pseudo-aristocratic faux-celebrity debutantes.

Finally, I stirred and as I got up to go up to my empty room, I acquiesced when Mother held out her hand for the ring-box. I would guess that she will not be letting me have the ring back anytime soon.

Dismissing me with a slight wave of her hand, Mother turned to my Father. On the way out, I grabbed a bottle of bourbon from behind the bar to take up with me.

She opened the case and peered closely at the ring, in suspicion that the wretched girl might have tried to swindle them. Grudgingly satisfied, she ordered her husband

"It would be best if Grandmother Elizabeth's ring was put back into the safe deposit, tomorrow. And remove John's name from the list of those who may access it."