No Bounds

I awoke with a shiver... dark shadows of black swirling in my head, concealing the images I had just been watching. Under me, the sheet was soaked and cold against my skin while I could feel a stickiness on my bare belly. Lying flat on my back, I was spreadeagled and sweating profusely, while the sheet that had been covering me was nowhere to be found.

As my eyes began to focus in the dim, morning light, I recognized the ceiling fan blades whirling above me at full speed. The air from them on my body was hot and stifling... not cool and refreshing as it would normally feel. Reaching down, I dipped my fingers into the substance on my belly and lifted it up to examine it, realizing it was semen. Apparently I had cum all over myself during my dream. Propping myself up on my elbows, I looked down... my stomach was covered with several small puddles of it just above my flaccid cock. I didn't have a clue what could have caused me to ejaculate like this, since I couldn't recall anything lately about my dreams.

My head was pounding. I had a headache... a bad one! Squeezing my eyes shut, I sat up and swung my legs off the side of the bed, encountering the missing sheet balled up under my feet. Grabbing it, I cleaned the mess off my belly before tossing it back to the floor. Dazed by the throbbing between my eyeballs, I stood and stumbled to the bathroom joining Jessi's bedroom to mine. Switching on the lights, I moved to the toilet and relieved myself before I turned to the sink and stared at myself in the mirror.

It reaffirmed that I looked like shit. My skin was pasty, my curly blond hair was ratted up and my face was gaunt like a zombie. I had taken it very, very hard. Losing a sibling can never be easy, but losing my twin sister felt like I had died, also. Just cut me in half... just smash my brain in with a club... I surely would have felt better than I was feeling now.

Even though I hadn't been there, I knew exactly what happened. I knew the road Jess was driving on to visit her friend, Susan, for the evening. I even knew the curve that the drunk driver had failed to negotiate just before he t-boned Jessi's little compact sedan, smashing it sideways into the deep ravine. The coroner said she died on impact... so had the drunk. At least we wouldn't have to go through a trial and relive her death over and over.

Lurching into the shower, I turned on the cold water before standing under the spray and feeling nothing but the pounding in my temple. It had been like this since she died... nothing to feel... feeling nothing. Still dripping wet, I stepped to the sink and leaned on the counter, looking into the mirror again for a long while. Suddenly, my reflection went out of focus and shifted... there was Jess looking back at me like a semi-transparent hologram... then it was my face... then hers... mine... hers. I shut my eyes tight, took a deep breath, then looked again. It was hers... her lips were moving but I couldn't make out the words. I closed my eyes again and this time, when I opened them, it was my face.

Before the image could change again, I turned from the mirror, opened the door to her room and went in, like I had done at least four times a day. It was still the same as the day after she left. The same clothes laying on the floor where she had dropped them after undressing... the closet door still open... her makeup stuff still strewn across her dressing table... nothing had changed. I sat on the edge of her bed and started to cry, just like I had every time I came in here to drown in my own self pity.

"John?... John!" A voice called out and I turned to see my younger sister, Jen, standing over me. I stared blankly at her as she tried to help me up. "Come on... stand up... let's get you to your room." As I stood up and put my arm around her shoulders, I realized I didn't have any clothes on.

"Shit!" I tried to cover my limp cock with a hand, but she ignored me and started to lead me back to the bathroom. "God, Jen, I'm sorry!... I can do this... "

"Nonsense, John. Nothing I haven't seen before... other guys, of course... not yours, but I'm a big girl." She stopped me when we were by the sink and grabbed a towel, methodically beginning to dry me off. When I protested, she ignored me and dried my cock and crotch before working her way up my body to my hair. Finishing up, she urged me gently into my room. Walking to my closet, I pulled out my bathrobe, slipping it on quickly and tied the belt. She moved to my bed, stripped the sheet, then gathered the one from the floor.

"Sit down... I'll be right back," she ordered me as she left my room with the sheets. I was still sitting on the side of the bed and staring out the window at the brightening sky and trees when she returned, carrying a cup of coffee. After handing it to me, she pulled my desk chair over in front of me, taking a seat facing me. She studied me sipping on my drink for a minute before speaking, "Talk to me, John... let me in... let me help you through this, please." When I didn't immediately reply, she pressed me more, "Look... I need help, too!... I need to talk about her and... .about us... Mom's a mess... and candy-ass Randy is never around - I'm not sure he gives a shit anyway - it's just you and me, bro... so, talk to me... please?"

Leaning in, she placed her hands on my knees and looked at me with a pained and pleading expression on her face. I nodded slowly as I studied my sister. Two years younger than me at 18 years old, she had lost that look of a child and was now a full blown woman. Her dark gray eyes were framed by her medium-brown, curly hair that fell just past her shoulder blades. Clad in a simple t-shirt and cutoff levi shorts, you really couldn't see much of her body which was fairly voluptuous with maybe a touch of baby fat here and there, but suited her full breasts and hips nicely. She wasn't wearing a bra, so I could see her large nipples poking against the shirt with a hint of her dark areolae through the thin material. I had seen her in a bikini often enough to know her body was nice. She was definitely sexy... but she was my sister and I didn't really think of her that way.

"I'm sorry, Jen." I apologized, reaching out a hand to cup her jaw. "I'm such a mess and I just can't seem to get it together. Thank you for just being here and putting up with my bullshit." Leaning in, I kissed her on the forehead. She had a tear in the corner of her eye which I wiped away, then she put her arms around my neck and moved in to give me a big hug, her head pressed against my cheek and breathing softly in my ear. I set my cup on the nightstand next to me and put my arms around her. We clung to each other for a minute before she slid from the chair and sat next to me on the bed, her arm around my waist and her head resting against my shoulder.

After a spell, she asked me, "You seemed so out of it this morning... what happened? I know you've been going into her room a lot... I've heard you in there just banging around, but this morning was different." All our bedrooms were on the top floor with Jessi's and mine on one side of the hall while Jen was across from me and another bathroom between her room and our parents at the end of the hall.

Pushing some loose strands of hair off her face, I tried to explain, "It's hard to describe, but I feel as if... even though I manage to get to sleep late... even when I do sleep, I'm not really sleeping... I'm exhausted!... I know I have dreams... big ones, but I can't recall them... they vanish before I can remember them... and I can't... " My voice trailed off as I failed to find the words. Hanging my head down, I shook it in exasperation.

Her hand moved to the back of my shoulders as she began to firmly massage my tense muscles. "Okay, let's just try to start with this morning." She was being her 'get-the-facts' self as she tried to help me sort it out. "What do you remember from the time you woke up?"

"I was laying in a wet bed, sweating like hell... and... this is embarrassing, Jen... " She gave me an encouraging smile, so I went on, "Well... I had cum all over my belly. I don't think I jerked off... but I sure as hell came." I felt my face flush, but she just looked concerned as she continued to work on my neck and shoulder muscles. "I used the sheet on the floor to clean off, then I went into the bathroom and took a shower... then I was looking into the mirror and I felt like I was on acid or something... it was my face, and then her face... then back and forth. I felt like I was freaking out, so I walked into her room and then you came in."

"You left the shower running. I shut it off before I found you in her room," she informed me with a quick hug and peck on my cheek.

"I did?... See what I mean?... I'm losing it."

"Do you remember anything about your dream?" she probed for more.

Falling back on the bed, I closed my eyes, trying to visualize what I thought I'd seen before I woke up fully. "Shadows... lots of darkness... and things in the shadows... I think there was a face... maybe a female, but not sure... and voices... several voices mumbling low, but I couldn't make out the words... I think a female and maybe one or two males... but I'm not sure." When I opened my eyes, Jen was leaning on her arms and staring at my chest. When she saw me looking at her, she suddenly flushed bright red, then quickly turned away.

"I'm sorry, John!... I didn't mean to... " She sounded mortified.

"Mean to what?" I asked, raising up on my elbows. Glancing down, I saw that my robe was laying open, exposing my semi-hard cock to her view. She jumped to her feet and stood with her back to me as I tried to console her, "Jen, I didn't realize...it's not your fault, sis... shit, I'm sorry!" Sitting up, I covered myself while attempting to grab her arm.

She took a couple of steps to the door before pausing and glancing over her shoulder at me. "I'm gonna make us some breakfast. Come on down in a bit so we can talk some more, okay?"

"Okay... down in a minute," I confirmed with an embarrassed smile. She smiled back as she left. Dressing slowly, I threw on my boxers, khaki shorts and a polo shirt along with tennies and no socks since it was supposed to get near 90 this afternoon.

Jen was at the stove when I came downstairs and walked into the kitchen. "Making you an omelette, okay?" she inquired.

"Great, thanks Jen." I grabbed some orange juice from the refrigerator before stepping to the patio door and looking outside at the pool.

When Jen set my plate on the table, I turned and saw mom coming out of the laundry room. "Hi, hon. How are you?" She sounded tired and depressed, just like she had for the last week. Jessi's death had hit all of us pretty hard, and it had only been three days since the funeral. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Don't think so, mom... still really tired."

"Sorry to hear that... gotta give it some time, dear." Her voice was very monotone and emotionless. "Will you kids be alright if I run to church for a bit?" she inquired. It was more of a canned question because I think she just asked out of politeness more than anything else.

"Sure mom... go ahead," I gave my approval just to ease her mind. She had always been a fairly closed person, so her church groups seemed to give her a feeling of belonging. It probably had to do with being able to be around women with similar interests. We all have our own way of coping, I guess.

Jen joined me a minute later, and we ate quietly. I didn't realize I was so hungry, easily scarfing down my food, then chugging my juice. I heard the front door close as I went to the refrig to grab another juice, but came up empty. Spotting some of Randy's beers in the back, I said 'fuck it' and grabbed one. It was early, but I felt like maybe a couple of beers might relax me. Randy was our idiot stepfather who either worked all day or was at the bar with his buddies. Either way, he wouldn't miss the beer since he never kept track, and mom would just get some more when they were almost gone. In another month, I'd be able to buy my own.

Jen looked at me funny when she saw me pop the beer open, but didn't say anything. Instead, she asked, "Come join me in the pool please, John... pretty please!... I need to talk some more." The temperature would be nice outside at this time of the morning, and she had let me do most of the talking earlier, so I agreed.

"Sure... I'll see ya in a bit." I went upstairs and threw on my trunks.

Sitting in a chair at the patio table, I was working on my second beer when Jen walked outside to join me, dropping a couple of towels in a nearby chair. She was wearing the lavender bikini that I liked the most and really showed off her voluptuous figure the best. I gave off a little wolf whistle, hoping to make her feel nice because we both seemed to need some cheering up right now. Grinning, she gave me a little curtsy in appreciation, followed by a slow pirouette. She always had a nice ass and this suit emphasized it's shape to perfection, the narrow band of material mostly disappearing between her butt cheeks.

"You coming in?" She asked.

"Sure." I stood up, watching her turn and walk down the pool steps. I noticed her sexy little wiggle for the first time. Maybe it was being so loopy from the lack of sleep, or maybe it was the beer so early in the day, but I was feeling better than I had in quite a while. Whatever the reason, I waited until she was well into the water before I did my famous cannonball right next to her, completely drowning her.

She came up sputtering and yelling, "John!... damn it!" She laughed while trying to dunk me, but didn't stand a chance of moving my large frame which was almost double hers... 5 ft. 6 versus 6 ft. 1 does not a fair fight make. I did give her an A for effort, but she could never get the best of me unless I let her. In this case, I did and fell lamely backward. She chuckled at my false defeat, splashing me playfully. It was good to hear her laugh again... the first time in days any of us had shown any happiness. We played for a bit more before I got out and went over to the table to drink some more of my beer.

I was surprised when I felt her bear hug me from behind, her full breasts squeezed up tight against my back. It gave me an unexpected jolt of sexual sensations that I shouldn't have had. I explained it in my head as the beer talking, but I really knew that it went deeper than that. I had felt something similar to this once before, and it ended up almost killing me... it may still. Quickly, I buried the thought and accepted her hug, even though I had that familiar filling of my cock that I was trying so hard to stop.

I covered her hands with mine and asked, "What about you, Jen?" When she loosened her grip, I took one of her hands in mine as I turned to look at her. "How have you been dealing with all this... we talked about my problems, but what are yours?" I had caught her by surprise, so she took a moment to gather her thoughts.

Gazing up at me, she described what she was going through, "It hurts a lot... no doubt. I also have trouble sleeping... I cry a lot, too... But, I seem to be able to just make my mind go numb and not think about it for periods of time. Soooo... it helps me deal with it better."

"I'm glad to hear that... I just wish I could cure my sleeping stuff. Maybe I just need more time." I had turned my gaze out across the yard, and when I glanced back at her out of the corner of my eye, she was looking at my crotch again. It was just a quick look, but I could tell it was intentional. I had to figure out what to do about her sudden sexual interest in me, as well as my growing attraction to her. I didn't want to go down that road again right now.

"I just want you to know, Jen, that I am here for you... so, please talk to me about anything you want... okay?" I insisted. When she nodded her understanding I went on, "I think I'm going to get some sun for a bit... maybe a short nap. Don't let me burn, okay?"

"Okay, bro," she promised. Strolling to the pool, I dove in, making a quick lap and hopped out, grabbing one of the towels she had brought out and spread it out on the deck before laying on my back. The sun was already starting to heat up the concrete, so I knew I wouldn't be able to tan for very long.

I hadn't been lying there more than a couple of minutes before I heard Jen's voice, "Let me put some sunscreen on you, John." I opened my eyes as she was kneeling beside me. When I nodded, she squirted some on my chest and her hands, then began to swiftly spread it over my body. I closed my eyes and let her work, well aware that she was probably going to get a good look at my bulge which was starting to enlarge despite all my attempts to not think the thoughts that I was thinking. She stayed well away from my upper thighs as she was covering my legs. Still, I could sense her eyes were fixed on my crotch. I rolled over when she commanded and let her cover my back. As she finished, she playfully slapped my butt, then I heard her dive into the pool...

********

Jess... it was Jess! For the first time since her death, I could see her face clearly again. She was beautiful... her straight, sandy-blonde hair floating about her face, her dark-blue eyes sparkling and her lips painted with her favorite pale-red lipstick. Wrinkling up her face, she flashed me that mischievous, sexy smile she had just before she pulled some stunt or did something else to surprise me. In this case, it was to plant a gigantic kiss on me as she jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist while pushing her pelvis against my crotch.

I had never been able to figure out how she could mask this kind of stuff from me, since every time I would try to hide something or surprise her, she always knew what was coming. Somewhere around the age of 13, she developed this skill but never would tell me how she did it. I hated it... and she knew I did. In my book, it was never fair that she could hide things from me while I couldn't do the same. We even had huge fights about it until she made me a promise that she would never mask something important... she loved me too much for that. I took her at her word and never had any reason to doubt her

Besides this, there was only one other difference between us... our sizes. Thank goodness for that! I would shudder to think of a 6 ft 1 in., 197 lb. woman with a high school, state champion, male gymnast's upper torso. She was only 5 ft. 9 in. with a lingerie model figure and D-cup, firm breasts about the size of a large grapefruit.

The image suddenly shifted... now, I was in my bedroom. Glancing at the clock, it read midnight... she would be here soon. Laying back on my bed against some pillows stacked up against the headboard, I had my cock in hand, stroking it slowly in anticipation. I sensed her presence moving nearer just before I heard the bathroom door open with a soft squeak-'I need to get some WD40,' I mused- and Jess moved up next to the bed. In the dim, muted light of my cloth-covered lamp, she looked glorious, dressed in a silky-red, short kimono robe.

Smiling wickedly, she looked down at me playing with myself, then said with an amused tone in her voice, "Starting without me, lover?" She untied the belt holding her wrap closed to reveal the minuscule, lacy, red thong just barely covering her pussy while her bare breasts were only partially visible, the nipples still hidden. She allowed me a moment to enjoy her body before licking her lips seductively. "That's my job, baby." Squeezing her shoulder blades together behind her, the wrap dropped to the floor, exposing her breasts fully. Proudly thrust forward, the large, pale-brown nipples were already rigid and leading the way. I released my shaft as she crawled onto the bed and bent forward, taking me in her hand. Shuffling her body sideways, she presented her almost bare ass for my viewing pleasure. In the dim light, I could still see how aroused she was as the band of red fabric was already pulled tight between her wet, open lips with her starfish clearly on display.