No Going Back Ch. 11

Dear Katie,

Katie, it's me, Theresa . . . Terri . . . you know , from last night. Oh God, of course you know. Oh God, Katie. I don't even know where to begin.

I woke up this morning really late. As I began to wake up, it was like I had been having the most wonderful dream ever. I felt so happy, so relaxed, so . . . perfectly exhausted. That's when I remembered. It took a few moments to sort out the memories, then a few more to convince myself they were real. I reached down between my legs and felt the slight morning soreness I hadn't experienced in a while.

Suddenly the power of what had happened hit me. My eyes flew open and I looked wildly around the bedroom. Where were you? Where was Roger? I almost jumped up to run madly through the house looking for you, but then I remembered you kneeling by the bed and telling me goodbye.

I tried to feel the joy I had experienced such a few hours ago, and for a moment, I was lifted up to a beautiful place. Then, I looked at the empty space on the bed next to me, and in a way that I never would have imagined, I missed you very, very much . . . almost too much to bear. I started to cry, and I've been crying off and on for the last hour.

I feel better now. I feel better enough to sit here and write to you. I feel happy enough now to try to thank you, and Roger, for a gift far beyond anything I expected. God Katie, who are you people? Where did you come from? Why did you choose me? And . . . can I please, please see you again. Please!

I know, you said that wasn't the idea. I know you don't want to start a relationship. I know . . . there may be . . . others. But please Katie, I have to see you, at least one more time. Maybe I can stand it if I don't see Roger again, I know he's yours, but I need to see you. I need to talk to you about what happened, what I felt, how I'm supposed to find that again.

I have to, you know. If that's what you were trying to show me, you succeeded. Oh, I know you and Roger were purposefully trying to create an ideal experience. I know I may never have that exact same experience again. But Katie, it feels like my body, my very soul, is on fire. I need help coming down again. I can't stand being here alone, trying to make sense of what happened. Please Katie, call me. I need to see you. I need your help.

If I hadn't already had second thoughts about what we had done with Terri, her e-mail certainly brought them out in full force. I was pretty sure I knew what she was feeling, and that actually did make it impossible not to see her. We'd created an obligation now, a bigger responsibility than I had imagined. Maybe I could handle this with one quick visit. I sure hoped so.

Roger agreed that it would be wrong for him to go, so I got in the car and drove the 75 miles to Terri's house. I had time to think on the way, but no amount of time was going to be enough to predict what Terri was going to need from me.

She was standing in the doorway before I could even get out of the car. To her credit, she managed not to run to me, but waited until I entered her house and she closed the door. She turned to me, her eyes wet, took several steps toward me, and almost collapsed into my arms.

I held her for a moment, hoping this would pass, but as her crying got more intense, her knees began to weaken. There didn't seem to be any option.

"Come on, Terri, let's go upstairs. You need to lie down." I helped her up to her bedroom, led her to the bed and sat on the edge next to her. She turned to put her head in my lap, and I let her cry. She wasn't close to hysterical, so I felt a little more comfortable, but she clearly needed to get rid of some of the intense emotions she was feeling.

It was strange, sitting here on the bed of a woman my own age, holding her as if she were a little child. I let my hand move to her head, and as she slowly dealt with her reactions to last night, I stroked her hair, soothing her, reassuring her. She moved her arms to encircle my hips, her face nearly buried between my thighs. There was nothing erotic about her actions, but it was disconcerting, especially after the intimacy we had shared less than 24 hours ago.

I turned to move her face away from my lap, and found it easiest just to lie down beside her. She snuggled up against me, but now her face was buried softly against my breasts. Oh well, I thought, I owe her this. I let her relax against me, her crying now almost stopped.

Finally, she began to talk about last night. It wasn't what I had wanted, but as she described to me the wonder that Roger's touch had inspired in her, I found it excited me to remember it, myself. Her descriptions of his tender caresses, her amazement at how her body had reacted to him, it was all familiar to me, but somehow new, hearing it from her.

I could tell she was getting herself excited, simply by remembering Roger's hands. I was getting a little nervous, but I knew this was what she needed to do . . . to talk about it, to relive it apart from the reality. I could tell she had one hand between her legs. She didn't appear to be playing with herself, but it was obvious she was visualizing things that had to be intensely erotic.

Her voice as she talked was low and heavy. At one point, she raised one of her hands to my chest. The top button of my blouse was open, and before I could stop her, she let her fingers run down my sternum to the top of my cleavage. I knew she had gotten herself excited, but I wasn't about to let her start something with me, so I reached around under her arm, and took her hand off my chest.

She let me move her hand, but as I tried to put her hand back on her own stomach, she stopped it at her chest and placed my hand on her breast. It seemed a little ridiculous to protest too much, after what we'd already shared before, so I let my hand lie gently over her breast as she continued her story of how Roger had made her feel.

She was now into the memories of what she had felt as Roger had spread her legs, crawled between her thighs, and prepared to slide inside her. Terri had now opened her legs slightly and her hand was moving slowly against herself. I wondered if I ought to try to stop her, but it just didn't seem fair. As her voice continued, her breathing got even more deep. The images were getting to me, too, and I had to admit to myself that I was feeling sensations between my legs that made me even more sympathetic to Terri's excitement.

Almost without realizing it, I found my hand had slid down the front of Terri's blouse, and I was running my fingers across the tops of her breasts. She moaned and tried to push herself higher against my hand. "Terri . . . " I began. I didn't know what to do.

"Oh God, Katie," Terri whimpered. "Please don't stop. I'm going insane. Please help me, just this once. I won't even touch you, I promise."

She isn't the only one going insane, I thought, but I let my hand slide inside her bra until my fingers reached one hard nipple. I let two fingers take the nipple into my grasp and squeezed gently. Terri's entire body shuddered, and I saw her undo her pants, unzip them, and slide them down to her feet. Realizing I had given up trying to do anything but allow her the release she needed, I unbuttoned her blouse. It was the permission she needed, and it only took her a few seconds to sit up and remove her blouse and bra. As she lay back down, she slid off her panties and I found myself holding a completely naked woman in my arms.

Somehow knowing what she wanted, I sat up with my back against the headboard. Her upper body now rested against my stomach, and my arms wrapped easily around her from behind. I let both my hands move to her breasts, cupping them like a warm, soft bra. My fingers began to play with her nipples. I wondered if I was doing as well as Roger had, but Terri certainly didn't seem interested in complaining.

Her hands were now between her legs and she was playing with herself in the most intensely erotic ways. I watched her slide one, then two, then three fingers inside her vagina, as the fingers on her other hand did magical things to her clitoris. She was moaning and thrashing, and I thought she was going to reach her orgasm in only a few minutes.

Somehow, though, she seemed to reach a plateau and her excitement held at high, intense level for more than five minutes. Her body was covered with a thin sheen of sweat now, and the smell from her body was so sweet, it was making me feel a little dizzy.

I could tell she was starting to get frustrated that she couldn't reach the crest of her desire. I thought it might be because I was there, but as her descriptions of Roger's cock thrusting over and over deep inside her became more and more explicit, I realized her fingers were not reproducing the physical experience she needed. I had no idea what to do, then she reached over the side of the bed to the night table. When she lay back, in her hand was a long, realistically thick headed, cock shaped dildo.

I was now truly stunned at what I was seeing. Certainly I was impressed that she could do this in front of me, but I had never imagined this was what would happen here today. I was lying there congratulating myself on being able to deal with this when Terri looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"Katieeee . . . . " she whined. "Help me. Pleeeease."

I truly had no idea what she meant. Before I could ask, she suddenly got up off me, turned her body, and before I could react, she was facing the foot of the bed, her knees on either side of my hips, her shiny pink bottom pointed directly at my face.

I'd never had a view like that in my entire life. With her legs spread, I could see every bit of every private part of her body. From the base of her spine, down between her plump asscheeks, past her puckered little asshole, along the now dripping, glistening cavern of her vagina, across the engorged, flaming red clitoris, past her pubic hair, over her hanging tummy and up to her swaying breasts. She was all there for me to see . . . and she was waiting.

I could tell my hesitation was driving her crazy. She turned on the vibrating dildo, shoved it into my hand and buried her face between my legs. "Pleeeeeeease, Katie," she moaned. "Put it in me. I need to feel it in me. For God's sake, Katie, do it!"

This was too much! Unwilling simply to shove the dildo into her pussy, I reached out toward her body. My fingers slid between her thighs and I touched for the very first time another woman's sexually stimulated vagina. Her skin was so hot to my touch, I almost forgot that this was what I experienced myself, almost every day. My fingers slid up and down her wet slit so easily, I had two fingers inside her even before I realized it.

She moaned and turned to look over her shoulder. "No, Katie, no," she said.

"What, Terri?" I asked in confusion, "What is it you want?"

"Him!" Terri cried. "I want him . . . I want Roger!"

Her words hit me in the very pit of my stomach. In her mind, the dildo I was holding in my hands was my own Roger, and she wanted him back inside her like past night. What had I done? And what was I going to do?

By this point, I had no choice. Staggered by what was happening, I took the dildo and slid it against her waiting pussy. She began shoving her hips back at me, trying to locate the hard, thick head of the artificial cock. I let her search for a few moments, fascinated by her movements. Then I realized a startling thing, I couldn't wait to see this cock slide urgently into her grasping hole.

I thought of Roger, and I tried to visualize what he did with the real thing to drive me crazy. I allowed the long thick cock, vibrating insanely in my hands, to find its way to Terri's waiting pussy. I let her position herself, then with both hands securely on the hilt, I slid it firmly and passionately deep into her cunt. She screamed out in pleasure, and with a fear that I'd never be the same again, I began to fuck her as thoroughly as Roger had done the night before. After the first few thrusts, I backed off and let her desire grow even higher. I slid the dildo back into her a few inches and then quickly pulled it out again. She moaned in disappointment. I pushed it back in only an inch and then removed it. Her whining went up several notes. I held the fat head just at the opening to her vagina and moved it in a tight circle, spreading her opening even wider.

The way she was thrusting her hips back at me, her pussy trying to suck the cock into her hole, was like nothing I'd ever visualized before. Now I knew what so fascinated Roger. He said he loved watching me slide myself on and off of him while he simply held his hips still. Now I understood. What I was seeing was staggeringly erotic.

In fact, I was getting terribly excited, no matter what my intentions were to stay cool. Terri's face was buried between my thighs, and even though she was totally intent on her own pleasure rather than mine, the movements of her head were stimulating me almost beyond my control. As I once again allowed the long cock shaped dildo to slide all the way into her, she raised her body and flung her head back until I could almost see her face, even from behind her.

The pressure of her hands on my thighs, supporting her weight as she arched her back, pushed my legs a bit apart. The movement felt so natural in my excitement, I yearned to open my knees wide. I pulled the dildo almost all the way back out of her, and her head fell back again to my crotch. This time, my thighs were a bit open, and her face landed firmly against my own burning femininity. If my flesh hadn't been covered by two layers of material, I might have had an orgasm that very minute.

As it was, I saw her hesitate for a moment, and I felt her nose bury itself deeper between my legs. I sensed her inhale deeply, and I realized in shock exactly what she was smelling. Unwilling to face what was about to happen, I took the artificial cock in my hands, the one that Terri now thought of as Roger, and drove it mercilessly deep into her waiting pussy.

The invasion took away everything Terri could possibly have imagined except for the pleasure I was giving her. Her back arched again, and as I slid the dildo in and out or her in rapidly increasing and deepening thrusts, her wail of orgasm began. Her cry was animalistic, a sound I don't think I had ever made. By the time it reached its peak, her hips were bucking so wildly that I could barely hold onto the hard cock in my hands. I did my best to give her the wildest ride I could, and she eventually collapsed between my legs, the dildo sliding out of her as she fell away from my hands.

I thought she was completely unconscious, but when I moved to roll her over on her back, she groaned the most satisfied sound I could imagine. I put a pillow under her head and went to the bathroom to moisten a washcloth to wipe her face. When I got back, she had turned her body back toward the head of the bed. She let me wash her face, sitting beside her on the bed.

After a few moments, she rolled toward me, her head again in my lap. I thought she was going to go to sleep, but she surprised me by raising her hand, sliding it into my blouse, and searching for a way to get her fingers inside my bra.

"Terri, no!" I said sternly. The hurt in her face was clear. "Terri, I'm sorry, I don't want you to do that." It surprised me how difficult it actually was to say those words.

"Katie, why?" Terri pleaded. "I know you're excited. I want so much to make you happy. I'll do anything for you."

"Terri, I can't," I begged. "I've never . . . I mean, it's just not right . . . not for me, not now."

"Katie, I don't believe you can say no," Terri said, almost wickedly. "Here, look at this. Can you imagine what it would feel like inside you?" She held up the still wet dildo, wrapped her fingers around it, and stroked it like it was real. I couldn't stop myself from squeezing my thighs together, and immediately felt the moisture ooze out from between my pussy lips. I felt dizzy. My knees were starting to get weak.

"Please, Terri. Please stop!" I almost cried. In response, as I watched, Terri opened her legs and placed the fat head of the dildo at the opening to her vagina.

"It's so hard, Katie. It's so long. It's even still hot from being inside me. Katie, it feels just like him, just like Roger. Don't you want it?"

She could see in my face that I most certainly wanted it, but I couldn't let it be like that. What would Roger think? I stood there watching Terri with her thighs spread wide apart, with "Roger" ready to penetrate her once again, and I found my hands sliding undeniably down my body.

Suddenly, my cell phone began to ring. I pushed the button answering the call and held it to my ear, unable even to say hello.

"Hello? Katie? It's Roger. Are you there?"

Oh God, what was I going to say? "Ohhh, hello dear. I'm here."

"Katie, what's going on? Is everything OK?"

What to tell him? "Uhhh, yes, everything's fine. Terri and I have just had a long . . . talk. Let me say goodbye to her and I'll be headed home soon. Gotta run. Bye now." I hung up quickly and looked at Terri.

Her disappointment was painful to see, but as I watched, I saw her passion cool and a embarrassed look creep into her eyes. Finally, she reached for the sheet and pulled it up over her naked body.

"I'm sorry, Katie," she whispered. "I understand. You'll call me?" she said with hope in her eyes.

"Yes, Terri, I'll call you, but I can't come back. You understand that, don't you?" The look in her eyes said she understood, but I wasn't sure I saw full acceptance. I walked over to her, placed my hand on her cheek and kissed her lightly on the forehead. She closed her eyes and rolled on her side facing away from me. She didn't move as I picked up my things and walked out of her bedroom, so in less than two minutes, I was out of her driveway and on my way.

It was an uncomfortable ride home, reviewing what had happened and trying to decide what to tell Roger. In the end, I decided he needed to know the full story. To my relief, Terri's actions excited him instead of worrying him, and he made sure the tension I had built up was addressed completely, several times.

I decided I would talk to Terri one more time to make sure she was OK, but then that had to be the end. This was all getting way too complicated.