No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 02

Mom’s really going to leave, Kristen thought uncomfortably. After all the yelling and screaming and threats of divorce, suddenly Mom’s going to up and leave. Just like that. She felt guilty – a secret fantasy which she never really meant was coming true. How many nights when they were fighting did I fall asleep fantasizing about mom and dad getting a divorce? And then there’s the dream. But in my dream Mom always took Ned and Elizabeth with her. I sure hope that doesn’t happen. All of a sudden Kristen realized how much she relied on Ned and Elizabeth for love and support in the clinches.

“It sounds like Mom’s really going to go with Max,” Kristen piped in. “Don’t let her take any of us, okay? I have this horrible feeling she’s going to try to take you guys with her.”

“Forget that,” Ned said manfully. “No way am I going anywhere with them.” Ned was furiously angry at Evelyn’s betrayal and the man behind it. Dad’s going to need all the help he can get from us until this blows over. He may not even have a job once the company finds out what Mom did.”

“Oh, God, I didn’t even think of that,” Elizabeth said despairingly. “What the Hell was Mom thinking? I’d like to wring her neck!”

“She wasn’t thinking, that’s the problem,” Ned said unhappily. “She never thinks. She just does what she wants. I can’t believe I used to feel sorry for her when she’d get so sad and sappy drunk. Before starting a fight, that is. And all this time she was acting like a slut and giving away Dad’s secrets.”

Kristen started to say something but was interrupted by Karl’s voice calling them in to dinner.

“Come on kids, dinner!” Karl shouted to them from below the graceful, wide arms of the spruce tree. One by one they dropped off the lower branches and followed Karl through the yard, past the water-kissed peonies and hydrangeas, into the dining room from the side porch door.

Kristen had expected Karl to look small and beaten by the afternoon’s revelations. But he didn’t. He had a low, cool mad on. He looked like he’d take Max out given one more provocation. Dinner was eaten in silence. The men were coldly polite to each other. Evelyn was tear-streaked and a bit worse for wear. She started to say something a couple of times but was stifled by Karl’s thundercloud mien. That night Karl became a hero in Kristen’s eyes. Dinner was over in about 15 minutes.

“Kids, why don’t you help your mother clean up the kitchen. I’ll be in my shop if anyone needs me.” Karl had to get away from scene. He didn’t think he could bear seeing the kids say goodbye to Evelyn. He had nothing to say to Evelyn. It’d had all been said while the kids were in the tree fort. He didn’t want to say good bye. He just wanted her to go quickly so he could start to pick up the pieces of his life.

“God damn it,” he swore to the basement walls. He felt like throwing something through the window. But what good would that do. He bottled up his hurt and rage and set about finishing a bookcase he was making for the girls’ room. He lost himself in the project for a while. It was good therapy. So soothing to have to focus on a good piece of oak, and find its strengths and weaknesses, its beauties and its flaws. Cut it at just the right angle to fit the design. Then sand it down smooth to bring out the grain. Match it up so the two pieces look almost like one. Then put on a satiny finish. He worked long into the night making it the best bookshelf he’d ever seen.

Upstairs, Evelyn put the food away and cleaned up the dishes. Then Evelyn sat them all down at the kitchen table. “I don’t know what to say to you guys. I don’t want to leave you, you know that don’t you? Kristen nodded through tears. Elizabeth stuck her chin out and said “you told Dad often enough that you wanted a divorce. You’re getting what you wanted. So you don’t have to pretend to be so goddamn sorry. That being said, Elizabeth turned on her heal and went upstairs to her bedroom. She didn’t let the tears flow until she was in bed with the covers over her head. There she stayed, rocking and crying for the rest of the night.”

Ned blew up as Elizabeth made her exit. “You’re a tramp and a spy.”

Evelyn’s hand shot up and she slapped the boy across the face without even thinking. Ned didn’t even blink.

“I hate you.” he yelled.

“Oh God, Ned, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you. Please….”

“If you’re going why don’t you just go? I hope I never see you again.

“Oh Ned, you don’t mean it. I’m sorry. I know this is hard. But can’t you just…? She looked over to Kristen, hoping to get some help.

Kristen threw herself into Evelyn’s arms and cried “I don’t care what you did. I don’t want you to go away where we’ll never be able to see you again. Why don’t you go to the Phillips or to Aunt Martha’s or something until Dad cools off? You don’t have to go off with that man.”

“No, Kristen. That just won’t work. Sometimes things are so broken you just can’t fix them. That’s been the problem with me and your Dad’s marriage for a long time. We just didn’t have the heart to break up the family. Now that this has happened, I think it’s probably for the best.

Ned started crying then. He and Kristen and Evelyn hugged each other for a long while. “But where are you going to be? How are we going to reach you if there’s an emergency or something?” Kristen said plaintively.

‘I don’t know yet. But I’ll stay in touch by phone and I’ll let you know as soon as I have my new address.”

“Are you going to have to leave the country?” Kristen asked.

“I just don’t know. I’m sorry. This wasn’t something I planned.”

Evelyn knocked on Elizabeth’s door on her way to her bedroom. “Elizabeth, can we talk for a minute?” she asked, stepping into the room.

Elizabeth was curled up on her bed, face to the wall. What do you want?” she asked angrily.

“Look at me, will you please?”

Elizabeth rolled over and sat up on the bed. “Okay, I’m looking at you.”

“God, you’re so beautiful.” Elizabeth was tall for her age and lanky. She had her mother’s whiskey brown eyes and the Nordic grace of her grandmother. “You’re almost all grown up. And so angry. You’re a lot like me.”

“I’m not like you. I hate you.”

“Don’t say that! You are. Please. I want you to look after Kristen. She’s so sensitive. Try not to fight with her so much.”

“What do you know about it, anyway? I always had to look after Kristen. You were too busy or drunk, or fighting with dad. Kristen can look after herself.”

“I’m sorry. I know you’ll look after her.”

“You’re not sorry. So stop lying. If you’re leaving, go.”

“Okay. I’ll be in touch as soon as things settle down a bit.”

“Whatever.”

Evelyn left with a sigh. She went into the bedroom she’d shared with Karl for five years and started picking out items to take with her, where ever she might end up. She remembered a fifth of bourbon she’d stashed in the back of the closet and went searching for it. For luck, she said as she tipped the bottle and let fiery courage course through her.

She pulled out her battered old suitcase and opened it. It smelled of excitement and adventure. Evelyn’s spirits started to lift a little. She dumped her underwear drawer into the suitcase over the bottle of bourbon. Then she picked out a pair of dress shoes and a pair for casual wear. She packed her seven best dresses, two suits and as many blouses as she could. She had to sit on the damn thing to close it. She grabbed Karl’s smaller suitcase and loaded it up with curlers and bobby pin, make up, accessories, shampoo, tooth paste, tooth brush and a roll of toilet paper – just in case. She glanced at herself in the full length mirror on the side of the closet as she picked up her bags. Not too bad for a middle-aged house wife, she thought to herself as she dragged the luggage along the hall and down the stairs.

Max was sitting on the couch nursing a shot of vodka. “You look nice. Are you ready to go?”

“Almost. I need my purse and my carton of cigarettes. They’re in the kitchen.” She looked at Max for a second. “Thanks.”

Max was puzzled. “For what.”

“As I was walking down the stairs I had a sudden fear that you’d left without me.”

“You must think I’m a cold-hearted son of a bitch,” Max said with a dry smile.

“I don’t know what to think. You used me to get to Karl.”

“I don’t think we should have this conversation right now, Evelyn. Let’s just get going.”

“Okay. I’ll get my stuff and say goodbye to Karl while you take the suitcase out.”

“Do you really want to see Karl?”

“No. I guess not.”

Max picked up the suitcase and carted it to his big, grey Oldsmobile. It was a warm, humid evening. The sun was sinking on the horizon and storm clouds were gathering in the west. Max held the passenger door open for Evelyn when she got to the car and she slid into the front seat. The door slammed with a sound of finality.

Max liked driving. He enjoyed the feel of power and control at his fingertips. He turned the key and the engine roared into life. “Roll down the window if you’re going to smoke,” he said to Evelyn.

Evelyn sat as far away from Max as possible and lit a cigarette with trembling fingers. “Where are we going, Max? I don’t have a passport.”

“I know that. We’ll get you one later if you need it. Don’t worry. We’re not going to Moscow.”

That broke the ice. Evelyn laughed shortly. “Well, thank God for small favors. I don’t like snow. I was worried when I saw you snag that bottle of vodka.”

“I thought you might want a little relaxation on the ride. I’ve got a couple of glasses, too.”

Evelyn smiled. “You know Max, this could be the beginning of a good friendship,” she quipped as she settled in for an evening of adventure. She poured them both healthy shots of vodka and started to sing along with the radio.”

Max relaxed for the first time in hours. He didn’t get Karl. That was too bad. But they could use Evelyn. He was satisfied with the way things had turned out.

*******

Karl spent the night in his work shop. After he finished the bookshelf he went to work repairing a couple of chairs Ned had broken by leaning back too far. He finished up at about dawn and headed upstairs to get ready for the day. He saw the mess Evelyn left behind and noticed she’d made off with his best suit case. Figures.

He shed his clothes in the bathroom and stepped into the shower. It was only then that he let himself think of what had transpired the night before. He was angry and hurt by Evelyn’s betrayal but what was worse was the breach of security surrounding his projects. I’m going to have to face Hurst with this. Christ in a barrel! I’m gonna get fired! Oh sweet Jesus, what am I going to do? He wanted to break something. And the kids! How much did they know? What can I say to them? It’s not fair. Now they’re going to have to carry this great big secret. Oh, God, I wish I were dead. That final though shocked him back to reality. Hell, no! I’m not like my mother, or my father. I’ll get through this God damn it. I swear I will.

He stepped out of the tub feeling mean. I’ll show them. The company needs me on the projects. They won’t fire me. But things’ll change again. I wonder…. I’d better talk to Jim before I do anything else.

That decided he dressed and marched downstairs to make a special breakfast for his kids.

Kristen followed into the kitchen sleepy eyed dragging her bathrobe belt behind her. Felix, their ginger tabby scrunched down, wiggled his butt, and pounced on it. Kristen giggled.

“That’s a cheery sound,” Karl said, smiling. “You’re up early, Merry Sunshine.”

Kristen rubbed her eyes and yawned. “It’s easy to get up when you don’t want to sleep.”

“You didn’t sleep, Kitten? Because of what happened last night?”

Kristen looked up at him. “I’m sorry daddy it’s all my fault. She started to cry.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wished for it. If you wish for something three times it comes true. I’m sorry. I didn’t really want you and mom to get a divorce. I just wished it sometimes when you were fighting. And now it’s come true. Except she didn’t’ take them away.”

“What are you talking about?” Karl was totally confused by his daughters’ soggy tirade. “She didn’t take who away.”

“Ned and Lizzy. But in my dream she takes all of us. That’s why I didn’t want to sleep last night, because of the dream.”

“Slow down child. You’re going too fast for me. I’m old and feeble,” Karl said, trying not to laugh.

Kristen looked at Karl with age-old eyes. My wish. If you wish something three times it comes true. When you and mom yelled about getting divorce I wished it happened. And that Mom took Ned and Lizzy and I stayed with you. I know I wished it at least three times.”

“But that doesn’t mean you caused it honey. Wishes don’t work like that.”

“Sometimes they do.”

“Trust me, kitten. Your wish was not what caused your mother to leave. Your mom and I had trouble getting along long before you were even born. Some people are just not meant to live together. But we tried to stay together because we both loved you guys so much. Maybe that was wrong. I don’t know. Do you feel a little better now?”

“Yes. But daddy, will you promise me something?”

“I can try. What is it?”

“I don’t want to go with her. She’s going to come back, and try to take all three of us. You can’t let that happen.”

“I don’t think she will. But why wouldn’t you want to go with her.”

“I dreamed about it. She comes back and there’s a terrible fight. And there’s a war and tidal waves and volcanoes and everything gets ruined. She takes us to a green mountain that’s protected with electric fences.

You and Rita and the Phillips and the Playschool people are left in a world that’s all desert except for a small slimy evil pond filled with poisonous fish.”

“That’s quite a nightmare! Karl said somberly. Is that what you dreamed last night?”

“No. I’ve always dreamed it.”

“Always?”

“Uh huh. So you see, if she comes back and wants to take us I won’t go with her. No one can make me. If she takes me I’ll run away.”

Karl was disturbed by the intensity of Kristen’s emotion. “Okay honey. It’s all right. No one’s going to take you away from me. I give you my solemn word.”

“God, that’s a relief!”

“What did you say?” Karl said sternly. “That’s three cents in the manners jar from your allowance, young lady.”

“Oh daddy,” Kristen laughed, happy to hear a bit of parental normality. “Are you going to make Swedish pancakes? Let me do a couple, okay?”

“Alright.”

As they worked together, the morning brightened. It was a sparkling clear day. Karl’s lawn was especially lush this spring. Everything bloomed at once this time of year. It was the last week of school. Day Camp next week Kristen thought excitedly. I can’t wait. This year’ll be the best. And the last.

At seven o’clock Ned and Elizabeth’s alarm clocks jangled them awake. The air was full of the smell of pancakes. It didn’t really cheer them up but it got them going. Elizabeth beat Ned to the bathroom so Ned came downstairs in his pajamas. At fifteen he was a rangy kid. Long and lean, he’d grown into his muscles early. That came from his mother’s side of the family. Solid Aryan stock Max might say, Karl thought sourly. But he had his father’s face stamped right there up front. Karl had never thought of himself as good looking. He realized with a shock that Ned was becoming a right handsome lad. If he’d ever get that scowl off his face.

Kristen was still busy frying the pancakes. Karl sat down at the table with Ned. “Did you get any sleep son?” Karl asked. For once in his life he wanted to lay everything out. He didn’t want to sneak around the issues. He wanted all three children to know exactly what happened and the trouble which might be heading their way.

“Not much.” He scowled and stared at the grain in the wooden table.

“Me either,” Karl commiserated. “But I fixed those chairs you demolished last winter.”

“Oh for Christ sake,” Ned started.

Kristen chirped “three cents in the manners jar.”

“Shut up,” Ned snapped.

“Calm down, Ned, I was teasing you. Trying to fix that long face.”

“Jesus, Dad, I’m not a baby.”

“I’m sorry son. I know you’re upset.”

“Upset. Yeah, I guess. Are we going to read in the news that mom went off with her spy lover, or is everything going to be shoved under the rug. Like usual. What do I tell my friends, huh? My mother ran away with her boyfriend. Oh, no. Dad threw the silly bitch out when he found out she was screwing a spy.”

“That’s enough out you young man.” Karl said roughly. “I won’t have you talking to me like that. Not in this house. And don’t call you mother a bitch.”

“Why not,” Ned snapped. You did.”

“I did and I’m sorry for it. She didn’t deserve that”

“Yes she did.” Ned stood up and was about to storm out of the room.

“Don’t contradict me. Sit down and eat your breakfast. Kristen, let’s have a couple of plates of pancakes over here. We’re going to start without Elizabeth. She seems to be taking her time in the bathroom this morning.”

“Okay.” Kristen was fascinated by the interplay between Karl and Ned. She turned off the stove and brought a full platter of pancakes to the table. Then she set the table for four placing syrup and butter in the middle of the table. “Oh, Dad, you can’t have pancakes,” Kristen said, stricken, “it’s not on your menu.”

“I’ll live dangerously today.”

Elizabeth came in all in a rush. She was turning on the charm this morning. She was only fourteen and not supposed to wear make-up, but her cheeks were suspiciously rosy and she had on a touch of bright red lipstick. Ned turned a blind eye. He didn’t want to rock the boat. Elizabeth’s mood could turn in an instant. Karl wanted this first breakfast to be a pleasant and healing event. They could talk afterwards. Hell, they could talk all day. What an idea! He’d call in sick and take the kids to French Creek. They could fish and swim and have a barbecue.

“Elizabeth, you look ravishing,” Karl said with a straight face. “Doesn’t she Ned?”

Ned was reading a magazine while forking bites of food into his mouth. There was a three second pause. No one could get deeper into a book faster than Ned, Kristen thought. He looked up. “Huh, what?” the typical Ned response. Kristen started to giggle. Elizabeth grinned.

“What’s everyone so happy about?” Ned said sourly.

“I have an idea,” Karl said. “Why don’t we all play hooky and go to French Creek.

That got Ned’s attention. “Heck yes! Can we take the canoe?”

“Yeah. And the fishing poles and the picnic basket. Do you girls know how to make macaroni salad? We’ll pick up hot dogs and marshmallows on the way.” The family was off and running with plans for the day’s adventure. Karl almost forgot to call the office. Putting the canoe on the roof of the car was always a little tricky but they were ready to go in no time flat.

The back door banged shut and they were off.

Karl’s instincts were good. It was just what the family needed to heel and form a new bond. The long drive out was delightful. No cigarette smoke. No quarreling kids – Elizabeth and Kristen were unusually friendly towards each other. They bounced around chattering and singing in the back seat. They sounded really happy together.

Karl caught Ned studying his driving maneuvers. He’s sixteen already. I’m going to have to teach him to drive. Oh God. “It’s really not difficult, once you get used to it,” Karl said. “I’ll start taking you out soon so you can get the feel of driving.”

“Oh,” Ned said nonchalantly, “I’m not in that much of a hurry.”

Yeah, right Karl thought smiling to himself.

When they got to the park they divided up. Kristen and Elizabeth wanted to swim. They ferried the picnic stuff and towels and blanket to a good, sunny spot with a picnic table. Karl and Ned carted the canoe and its gear over to the landing. It was a magical, fun-filled day, and the best thing Karl could have done under the circumstances. They didn’t get home until it was almost dark. Kristen and Ned were sound asleep in the back seat and Elizabeth in the front when Karl pulled the car into the driveway. He wished he could stop time.