No Past, No Future

Story Info
Chance encounter with Chris Cornell from Audioslave.
5.6k words
4.68
17.4k
6

Part 1 of the 3 part series

Updated 09/22/2022
Created 03/06/2005
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Author's Note: I got the idea for this piece after watching the video to "Show Me How to Live" a few times. It's amazing how a few gratuitous shots can start you down that celebrity-fantasy road. My apologies to Chris' wife, but sometimes you just got to share.

* * * * *

The sun was setting over the far distant hills and fatigue was settling in. You can only drive so far and so fast before the road mesmerizes you and become hopelessly lost. That thought was going through my head as I raced across the early summer desert of New Mexico. And you can only run for so long. Sighing I began easing the speed down from a cool hundred down to a more manageable seventy-five miles per hour. I had to think.

The Southwest is filled with miles of highway that run through nothing. Along the way there are towns – some populated, some boarded up. I always wondered what happened to those towns that were empty. What dreams dried up and died? Where did those people go? We are a country filled with a restless shifting population. From the first pioneers who cut across this same stretch of nothingness we haven't changed a bit.

The desert to me that late afternoon was a place to escape my woes. My relationship was on the rocks big time. People were mad at me. My job was in the balance. I wasn't popular. The remedy? Hit the road with a fast car and an overnight bag. Get out of town, cool off and think.

I was closing in on the Arizona border and I knew that if I didn't stop now it would be a long way until the next town and I was too tired to drive in the utter darkness that enveloped the secondary highway I was on. I pulled into the one horse town that I was fast approaching with a swirl of dust behind me. The first place I saw was a little cantina. The only other vehicle in the lot was a very used pickup truck. I pulled in next to it and stepped out into the fading light.

It was still pretty warm and I could feel the heat coming off the desert floor in waves. The departing sun cast long streaks of red and orange across the sky. The mountains were purple. I grabbed my bag and headed inside to freshen up before I did anything else.

The bar was bigger than I thought, but the only occupant was the bartender. He was leaning against the counter watching TV smoking a cigarette. His head turned to check me out as I entered.

"Where's the restroom?" I asked.

A look over his left shoulder guided me to the Ladies.

"I'm going to freshen up first," I said awkwardly, feeling I had to explain something. "Then I'll be back for a beer."

"What'll you have?"

I scanned the taps and settled on a local brew. He nodded and went to get a glass. I decided I better hurry up if I wanted to drink that beer while it was still cold. I eased myself into the tiny bathroom. At least it was clean, I thought as I began to take assessment of my image in the mirror.

What greeted me in the glass needed some work. My long, brown hair was all over the place despite the bun I put it in many miles ago. My face had a slight coating of dust. Underneath, the skin was slightly red from the glare of the sun all day. I needed a wash, a change of clothes and a little makeup. I quickly got to work and fifteen minutes later I felt a bit more presentable.

Once my bag was back in the car and I was settled on a barstool I began to think of what I was going to do that evening. First up, food. I dug into some tacos and beans and rice. A couple of beers went down with that. Feeling loose and relaxed I leaned on the bar and asked the bartender if there was any place to stay the night.

He snorted laughter and I thought maybe he had some sexist answer to the question, but thought better of it when I gave him a serious look.

"No," was all he came out with after some thought.

Well, that was easy, I thought. No need to find a hotel. Looks like either an all-nighter was in store or a quick snooze in the car. Looking around at the empty bar I didn't think I could stay up all night with only the bartender as company. But that was hours away.

But things were going to change in a big way. Around seven a bunch of vehicles pulled into the parking lot. A few buses that were outfitted for overnight travel accompanied the collection of SUVs that parked around my car. The bartender seemed to be expecting this caravan.

"What's going on out there?" I asked.

"Bunch of rock and rollers," he said. "They're makin' some video in the desert and come here at night to eat, drink and play pool. Nice guys, though. They tip well."

"I bet", I said as I turned my head. "Are they local guys?"

"Nah, nothing round here anyway. These boys are from California and somewheres else."

I was about to ask who they were exactly when the front door opened and a bunch of guys came in. None of the faces seemed familiar, but they weren't exactly unpleasing to the eye. I watched as they filed in. Everyone looked tired and thirsty. When they saw the bartender they smiled and hailed him.

Judging by the long hair and grungy clothes they were either in a band or video producers or both. I didn't want to stare too long so I turned back to my beer. All and all there must have been twenty five guys and a few women thrown in. They turned on the jukebox, bought beers and ordered food. They didn't seem to pay any attention to me and I was glad. I felt horribly out of place in my jeans, western boots and sleeveless blouse.

I spent the next little while watching TV, thinking about 'back home' and watching the crew. Eventually I noticed a familiar face and gasped. These guys were a little more famous than I thought. Off to the side of the main group stood someone I had seen many times in years gone by, both on the small screen and on the stage. And by the looks of it, age had only improved his looks.

The bartender came over to refill my glass.

"Audioslave is here?" I tried to whisper.

"Oh yeah, that's what they're called. I couldn't remember. You heard of 'em?"

I nodded. "That's the lead singer over there," I said pointing.

"You don't say..." He looked at me. "You want to meet him, don't ya? I can tell by the look on yer face."

I blushed. Damnit, was I that much of an open book?

The bartender went over to the other end of the bar. "Hey, you...Chris, right?" he yelled.

Chris turned his head and looked over at us. "What's up, dude?"

"C'mere for a second, will ya?"

Chris ambled over and I got the best view of him all night. My eyes did a quick scan and took in: short, cropped hair – jet black, lean body, black jeans, white shirt with a t-shirt underneath, slightly burnt face, and those green eyes. Jeez.

The bartended cocked a thumb in my direction. "This here lady was askin' about you."

I wanted to die. I mean, I'm not exactly a teenage girl with a crush on some lead singer. This guy was the same age as me. We were mature. Been through it all.

Chris turned his head to look at me. I smiled weakly. I felt foolish, why would this gorgeous specimen of a man care about me? I looked like I hadn't slept in a week and I probably was still disheveled despite the quick cleanup.

But Chris winked at me and smiled a rare smile. I always remembered him so damned serious in the videos.

"Well? Go talk to her or somethin'," said the bartender who suddenly became a matchmaker. I felt my body tense up. I never had contact with a celebrity before, especially someone who occupied a few day dreams back when.

"I intend to," Chris said as he grabbed a fresh beer and ambled over to me.

First thing I noticed as he came to stand next to me was how tall he was. Had to be at least six feet. I barely clocked in at 5'5".

"Mind if I join you?" he asked in a soft voice.

"N-no, not at all," I gulped.

Seated, it was easier to talk to him. He wasn't towering over me.

He stuck out his hand. "I'm Chris," he said.

"Um, I know," I said and then realized it was the polite way of asking who I was. I took his hand in mine, shook it, felt incredible heat and said: "I'm Kat."

"Kat? As in..."

"Katrina," I replied. I released his hand and felt the warmth still radiating in my palm.

"Nice name," he said and took a sip of his beer.

"So, what are you guys doing out here?" I asked, trying to act casual.

"Video shoot. This is only the third day and it's killing us."

"Oh yeah, it's brutal out here," I said staring at the bar top. His gaze was too intense to look at for very long.

"You live here?" he asked.

"No, just passing through. I'm from West Texas."

"Ah, I thought I heard a drawl," he said, smiling again.

"Well, yeah, it's hard to miss."

"So where you headed?"

Think fast. "Got a sister in Sedona. I'm heading out there."

"Nice place."

Please don't ask any more questions about me, I pleaded silently. I'm running, remember?

Somehow he got the message. We began to ease into a nice chat about music and current events. He was pretty knowledgeable about a lot of things. The more we talked, the more at ease I became.

"So your career got resurrected," I observed.

"In a big way," he agreed.

"I miss Soundgarden, though. I saw you guys a couple of times over the years. It was always a good show."

"Yeah, we had fun," he said in between sips of his beer. "Sometimes I miss it too, but you got to move on."

So true, I thought.

"And I always liked guys with long hair, but this do definitely suits you," I said, referring to his hair.

He ran his hand across the top. The hair was spiky, but not 80's spiky. I noticed the long side burns across the strong jaw line. My breath caught for a second. He looked good.

We each did a shot of tequila. I was buzzed but not drunk. I wanted to flirt but it couldn't come out. I was out of practice and but the desire was there, hiding in the shadows and being coaxed out by the tequila.

I did a quick check of the situation. It was creeping towards eleven. Chris was sitting closer to me. (I could tell by the heat that he was giving off). The rest of the crew was drunk and raising hell. One more beer and I wouldn't risk driving. And my bladder was full. I excused myself and went back to the Ladies.

After a long pee, I looked at my reflection again. No sign of desperation there, I thought. Good sign. I could walk out of the bar a respectable woman, get in my car, drive down the road and sleep it off with the window cracked and the doors locked. I began to figure out my departing speech as I walked back to the bar.

When I got there I saw that I didn't need to use the speech. Chris wasn't there. I couldn't tell with the smoke if he was in the crowd so I quickly slipped outside, hopefully unnoticed.

The night air was still warm and it enveloped me as I made my way to the car. I could hear the music inside but it was muffled. Outside it was quiet except for the distant rumble of thunder. I didn't like that, but I wasn't going far. Just down the road a piece where I could knock the seat back and snooze until daylight.

I felt relieved that I could get out of the bar without feeling guilty about anything. Except for the handshake there was no touching. As bad as things were at home, at least I could say I didn't make it worse by doing something...bad. Then I thought that maybe Chris wanted to break away from me too and didn't know how to do it without hurting my feelings. I almost chuckled at that thought. My feelings had been absolutely stomped on the last few months; I didn't know what was left of them.

"Not much," I mumbled as I stood next to the door to my car. I dug the keys out of my pocket and took a minute to decide if I could drive. I was about grab the door handle when a hand closed over mine.

"Where you going?" was the soft question. A chill went down my spine.

I didn't turn around. "Away," I said. "Before I get too drunk to drive."

"Don't you have a place to stay the night?" the voice asked again.

"No. I was going to sleep it off in my car."

"That's not fun," and the voice got lower, and, dammit, sexier.

"Well, it's the best I can do. This town doesn't have any accommodations."

The hand squeezed my hand which was still frozen to the door handle. "It does, you just have to know where to look."

I sighed. "Chris, I'm not some groupie girl looking for a one nighter...ok?"

"I never thought you were, Kat," came the smooth reply. Whether he was serious or not suddenly became immaterial when I felt his body lean against mine. The heat again.

"Fuck," I mumbled.

"Only if you want to," he said playfully. "Now turn around."

I turned around which was hard because both his arms were on either side of me. When I faced him, our lips were dangerously close. I leaned back.

"You don't want this?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"I don't know what I want, Chris. Honestly, I don't."

"I know...that's why you're running."

"How did...", but I never finished. His hands came up to frame my face and before I knew it, his lips were bearing down on mine. I closed my eyes because if I saw those green eyes I would melt into a puddle and there would be nothing for him to kiss.

And damn, did it feel good. His lips were slightly chapped from the relentless sun, but they knew exactly what I liked. Soon he parted them and slid his tongue along my teeth. His hands glided across my hips and pulled me so close I felt the hardness down below. In the space of a few seconds his heat had driven all thoughts of who I was from my mind.

At last he broke the kiss. I was panting.

He took a step back and looked at me. In the parking lot light, his black hair and goatee was contrasted by the slightly reddish-brown skin.

"Look around you, Kat. There is nothing here. We are both miles from home and who we are. Don't fight it."

He was right; I didn't want to fight it. I wanted to rip his clothes off, see his body and fuck. And I knew he wanted the same.

"Where?" was all I could ask.

The devilish grin was back. "I have just the place. Small, but private." He held out his hand. "Are you willing?"

"Yes," I said and realized there was no turning back now.

I reached for his hand and he led me silently away. We walked down the road to another lot technically outside of the town. Several buses were there along with some other assorted vehicles, including a vintage white Dodge. We walked to a VW bus and he opened the door.

"After you," he said.

I stepped in and was immediately overtaken by the heat and stuffiness. I couldn't see what was inside, but it felt as if a bed had been set up.

"No worries," he said, sliding in after me. The top vent was opened along with a window and soon the air began to circulate.

"So what do you think?" he asked. "This is home away from home."

"Not bad, I guess. Beats my setup for the night."

He lit a small lamp and hung it from the ceiling of the van. The light was soft and intimate and I could see him. His face was hungry.

There was a brief awkward moment.

"Hey, Kat, if you don't want to..."

"I do."

"Hard or soft?"

"Hard. God, make it hard."

He chuckled.

"But first I want to see you," I whispered.

"Ah yes, I know what you are saying." He got up into a crouch. "But first some music." He reached into the front and soon his voice was coming out of the speakers. "Damnit, not me," he laughed. A few seconds later something I didn't know played, but it was perfect for the mood. He came back and sat cross-legged in front of me.

"Shirt," I said.

"Right." He pulled off both his shirts and there in front of me was that hard, lean body I felt when we kissed only fifteen minutes before. Feeling bold, I ran my hand across it and felt the heat again. His skin was smooth and practically hairless.

"You had your shirt off today," I said observing the reddish-brown tinge.

"Yeah, trying to get rid of that pasty Seattle look," he grinned. White teeth showed behind the closely trimmed mustache.

"It looks, ah, good," I said as I traced my hand down his bicep.

"So do you," he fairly growled and took my hand to place it on the bulge in his crotch. "See what you are doing to me?"

I figured it was time to dispense with the niceties. I was as hungry as he was. Removing my hand, I shot him a look that said: do what you will.

He wasn't a novice when it came to signals. Remembering my request for 'hard', he pushed me back and lowered his body onto mine. His head went down to suck my neck and his hands were tugging at my blouse and my bra. It became a mad scramble to get undressed. Clothes could be so frustrating I thought as I wrenched free of my jeans. But soon enough we were both naked. He sat up to gaze at me.

"Lovely," he whispered. "I want to eat you, you look so good."

I blushed a little. It had been a while since anyone gave me a compliment like that. I opened my legs.

"Yeah, exactly," he said and bent down to the task at hand.

As soon as that tongue of his touched me I wanted to scream, it was that good. My clit was alive and throbbing even before he touched me but once his tongue went to work I knew that it wouldn't be long but at least I could go again.

"Hard, remember?" I gasped.

His tongue drove into my snatch a few times before returning to my clit. He sucked hard and it felt like he was pulling the very soul out of my body. His fingers wiggled inside of me and fucked me hard. If this was the warm-up, I was in for a treat. And he didn't let up, not once. He was determined and so was I. Eyes shut, I let myself go and thought nice thoughts while his tongue sucked and probed and fucked me. My grunts became whimpers and whimpers became screams as the orgasm came out of nowhere.

"Oh fuck," I shouted. "I'm cumming!"

Poor Chris couldn't encourage me with words. Only his tongue, mouth and fingers could and they did the trick. In seconds I was over the edge and headed towards the first orgasm of the night. I moaned and thrashed and said wicked things. When at last he lifted his head and wiped the juices from his face, I was a puddle.

"Sounds like you needed that," he said as he laid his beautiful body next to me.

"Fuck yeah," I moaned. "Jesus."

He laughed at that.

"I hope that's not it for the night. Otherwise I'll have to go back to the bar," he whispered.

"No sir," I said. "Just give me a moment, will ya?"

He lay flat on his back and I turned on my side to gaze at him without the prior cloud of lust in my eyes. My gaze traveled up and down his body and it was better in person than it ever was on the screen. His dick rose from the nest of black hair and I put my hand around it. It was hotter than the rest of him, if that was possible. I squeezed and his eyes shut.

"Mmmm," was all he could manage.

I gave one tug, then another. A drop of pre-cum oozed out of the slit at the top of the purple head.

"You're ready," I observed.

"I have been for some time, especially after that performance."

"You like the sound of a woman in pain?" I joked.

"Always do."

"I think I could go for some more pain," I said lazily.

"Top or bottom?"

"Top? Is that ok?"

"Absolutely. I like a woman who knows what she wants."

I straddled him but didn't let him inside right away. I leaned over and let him play with my breasts. The nipples were flat and aching to be touched. Or sucked.

"Those look good," he said.

"They're all yours."

He wasted no time and got down to it. I leaned over more to ease the strain on his neck and shuddered as that mouth of his clamped around my left nipple. I felt a spasm in my pussy and began to rub my still swollen clit across his dick. He replied by sucking harder but I wasn't ready to let him have his way with me yet. Part of being on top was the ability to dictate. I ran my fingers through his hair and rocked a little as he sucked.

"Yeah, that's it..."

"I want to be inside you," he practically pleaded.

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