No Self Esteem

With deepest apologies to the band The Offspring. This story popped into my head while enjoying their song 'Self Esteem' and it wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it down. I hope you enjoy it.

*

Colin listened to the phone ring and ring. He was sure he was going to get Shelia's voice mail, but at the last minute she answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Shelia, its Colin." Like she didn't already know from caller ID. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight. I'm going to try my hand at making an apple pie and I know how you love your deserts." He was trying to be upbeat. He was crazy about Shelia, but she wasn't crazy about him and he knew it.

"I don't know Colin. I'm kinda busy tonight. I've got plans to meet Kelly for dinner, then head over to that new place called the Rathskeller. It's ladies night."

Colin's stomach dropped. Kelly was always taking Shelia out to a parties or places to meet guys.

"The Rathskeller? Aw, I heard that's just another meat market. You should come over here for pie. It will be way more fun and besides, I have vanilla bean ice cream to go with it." He was attempting to seal the deal with her favorite ice cream.

"Vanilla bean huh."

"Yep. Warm pie and cold ice cream."

"What are you trying to do, make me fat?" He could hear the smile in her voice and that was a good sign.

"No. I just want to take care of my favorite girl. You know, by doing things for her that she likes."

"There's lots of other stuff I like besides pie and ice cream, and they won't make me fat." Her voice had that lustful edge to it that turned his knees to rubber and robbed him of breath.

"We could do some of that too." He said, barely able to breathe around the biplanes swooping around in his gut. She knew the effect she had on him and he could still hear her grin when she replied,

"Ok Colin. I'll see what I can do. What time?"

"Come over about eight. The pie will be fresh out of the oven." She almost purred her response into the phone.

"Sure baby. See you then." The line went dead.

Colin was on cloud nine. Shelia was coming over to his apartment instead of going out with that man chaser Kelly. He wasn't too fond of Kelly. She was always talking down to him and teasing him in mean ways. More than once he'd thought of punching her right in those white teeth, but she was Shelia's best friend, not to mention close to six feet tall. Both good reasons not to punch her. To Colin, Kelly looked like some overly made up Barbie doll. She had poufy platinum blonde hair and big boobs, always wore the tightest clothes and the shortest skirts. It wasn't that she wasn't pretty, but Colin had once told Shelia that he thought Kelly was trying too hard. Shelia had rounded on him and told him it was none of his damn business and to shut his mouth. And Colin did just that, because he didn't want to lose what little he had with Shelia.

Shelia was his speed. Her shiny blue/black hair that framed an angelic face and made her haunting blue eyes almost feel as if she could see into his soul. She had the cheek bones of an Egyptian goddess, breasts and curvy hips of a teenage homecoming queen. Shelia was his height, but put her in some pumps and she was a bit taller than him and he liked it that way. Colin loved everything about her. Her voice, the way she walked, and that cute little smirk she had when she was horny and trying to get in his pants; that absolutely melted him.

Colin was streaming the Offspring as he followed the directions for making a pie crust on his laptop. He was working quickly to keep his butter cold and as soon as the dough was ready he put it in the refrigerator to rest while he worked on the filling. Pealing and slicing apples and mixing them with sugar and spices to put in the pie. He danced over to the refrigerator, did a little spin and retrieved the dough for the crust, tossed the ball of dough behind his back and up over his shoulder. He was singing along in a falsetto 'give it to me baby, uh huh uh huh' as he worked quickly to separate it in to two, then rolled them both out. One went in the bottom of his grandmother's old glass pie plate, next came the filling and the other crust went over the top. He crimped the edges and cut three slits in it and the pie was ready for the oven. He started it cooking then went and got a shower. He wanted to be fresh and extra clean when Shelia got there.

Colin came out to check on the pie in his towel. It was golden brown and smelled delicious, but still needed to cook a little longer. He covered the edge of the crust with aluminum foil to keep it from getting too brown and slid it back into the oven. On the way to the bedroom he stopped to take a look at himself in the full length mirror. He didn't think he looked too bad. He wasn't very tall, but he was pretty lean and while he wasn't muscular you could still see some definition. Shelia always told him that she liked his butt the best. It was nice and round. He'd even had a girl at work tell him she kill for a butt shaped like his. He smiled at the memory as he went to get dressed. He pulled on some snug fitting jeans and a blue Polo shirt that Shelia had once mentioned looked nice on him. He slipped on his dockside shoes to round out the outfit.

Out in the kitchen the smell of the pie filled the apartment with aromatic bliss. He fished it out of the hot oven and put it on top of the stove to cool. He smiled in anticipation of how much Shelia would like the homemade pie and was already basking in the glory of her attention and the nice things she would say about it. He looked at the clock and realized that she was going to be there soon and his belly was suddenly filled with butterflies. Shelia always made him feel that way. He was tempted to cut the pie and dip some ice cream out so it would be sitting and waiting on her when she arrived, but he resisted the urge. Traffic could be a real pain sometimes and she could end up running late, then it would just be a mess on the plate.

Across town from Colin's apartment, Shelia and Kelly were sitting down to a late dinner before heading over to the Rathskeller. Kelly's low cut, skin tight electric blue dress and white heals really accentuated her long legs. Being tall made picking up guys a little more challenging, but the boobs did a good job of overcoming that setback. Shelia wore a short plaid skirt and tailored oxford blouse that was unbuttoned enough to show off her cleavage. She was flirting with the school girl uniform that made many guys weak in the knees.

"So Colin tried to get you to go to his apartment for pie instead of coming out with me?"

"He said I'd have more fun." Kelly snorted.

"He can be such a little shit. Why do you even hang out with him?"

"Colin is crazy about me and will do anything for me."

"But he's also spineless!"

"Which is why no matter how bad I treat him, he keeps taking me back."

"I just don't understand."

The waiter showed up, exchanged a few pleasantries and took their orders. As he was walking away Kelly said,

"Damn, he's cute. I wonder if he'd like to be balls deep in me later tonight. Or me him. Doesn't matter to me. I'm all about equal opportunity!" She chuckled evilly. "As long as we're both coming!"

Shelia shook her head and chuckled at her friend, but in truth she was thinking the same thing. She was hoping to find some tall dark and handsome guy tonight with an open mind. The kind that was more focused on the orgasm than the path to it and she knew lots of great ways to make a guy cum. Kelly pulled her back to the table.

"So back to Colin. I just don't understand."

"I know. You said that, but you don't have to Kelly. That's between me and Colin." Kelly held up her hands.

"Fine. I'll take the hint and change the subject."

"Good idea."

"So, what are you looking for tonight?"

"The usual. Tall, dark and handsome with an open mind."

"I'd settle for reasonably cute with and open mind."

"I bet you would."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kelly was trying to sound serious, but Shelia chuckled.

"You're a horny girl Kelly. You like sex and you don't over think it. Actually it surprises me that you don't get me and Colin." Kelly sat straighter and tried to seem above her friend's statement. It wasn't working all that well.

"I'm not sure I like where you're going with this Shelia. Are you trying to say I'm easy? Some sort of tart? Maybe even a...slut?" Shelia smirked.

"While I haven't witnessed it, I imagine when you walk into a room the fish stop swimming." Now Kelly went for incensed.

"Oh! So I'll fuck anything that moves? Is that what you're implying?" Shelia fell into giggles. Even Kelly couldn't keep a straight face. "I always thought you were my friend Shelia!" Now Kelly dissolved into giggles too. "Only a true friend could know me that well. You're right. I'm a total slut. Bottom, top or sideways, if he's cute I'm in." This made Shelia laugh out loud and Kelly joined her.

They were still laughing when the waiter brought their food over. They tried to stifle the giggles, but the more they tried the harder it was. The waiter piped up.

"I sure hope you two aren't laughing at me." Kelly shook her head. "Good. Cause I couldn't think of anything I'd done that was that funny." Kelly put her hand on his arm.

"No....we're laughing at me!" She giggled some more. "Shelia is picking....on me." Now the waiter starts to giggle too.

"You're both laughing at you?" Kelly nods and gets it down to snickering.

"My good friend here was just accusing me of being a slut and I agreed!" He nodded knowingly as he chuckled.

"She must be a pretty good friend to know you that well!"

"I know!" Shelia is shaking her head. Amazed that Kelly would tell a complete stranger something like that. Then Kelly takes it a step farther. "Hey, when we're finished eating we're heading over to the Rathskeller for ladies night. Want to meet us there?" He put his hand on Kelly's shoulder and through a sea of snickers told her.

"I'd love to! Especially since it sounds like you're a sure thing." Kelly started to get excited. Then he dropped the bomb. "But I don't think my girlfriend would dig that. She's expecting me home after work and it's not good to disappoint her. Thanks for the offer though. It sounds like it would have been an awesome time!" He winked at Kelly and went back to work. Kelly sobered.

"Damn it. Oh well, it was worth a try." Shelia tried to appear wise as she sat quietly with her mouth full salad. Kelly went on. "It's a good thing we have to eat yet. He gave me a chubby when he put his hand on my shoulder." Shelia snorted, narrowly avoiding her mouthful of salad ending up in Kelly's lap.

Colin looked at the clock for the hundredth time. Three minutes to midnight. The pie was cold and six empty beer cans performed a balancing act on the coffee table. He was pissed at Shelia, but more than anything he was pissed at himself. How many times had she'd agreed to come over, yet something always came up. In his heart he knew she was never going to pick pie and ice cream with him over clubbing with Kelly. He wished he could be Shelia's perfect guy, an alpha male type to sweep her off her feet and make passionate love to her like in one of those romance novels she was always reading, but he knew he would never be that guy. He would love and adore her more than anyone in the world, but that was not what she wanted. He was not what she wanted. He likes her just as she is and she wants a guy to love her like the woman she longs to be.

Colin heaved off the couch and wobbled to the kitchen to fetch another potential acrobat for the coffee table performance. Maybe it would be the one to put him out of his misery. He pulled the tab and the pssssh of the can signaled another soldier ready for duty. Flopping on the couch he thumbed the remote and took a long draw from the can. Some old black and white movie was playing and there on the screen was the girl looking longingly into the eyes of her leading man. Oh how he wished Shelia would look at him like that...

Shelia and Kelly had been at the Rathskeller for several hours and the crowd wasn't any better than when they'd arrived. The women had responded to the trumpet call of ladies night, but the guys all seemed to be deaf. Six cute guys were the only exceptions in the whole place and they had been bitten and wrapped up pretty quickly. Shelia and Kelly had gotten a couple of dances, but that was about all. Kelly was on her fourth Long Island Iced Tea and Shelia her fifth Margarita. Kelly leaned in close to Shelia.

"This place blows." Shelia nodded agreement then smiled as she added.

"Actually, if it did you and I would both be a lot happier!" Kelly raised her glass and they tapped rims in a toast. Shelia thought about Colin. He'd be pissed at her for blowing him off, but she was pretty sure that if she turned on the smirk she'd get what she wanted... or was it needed? Didn't matter. She wanted it and knew where to get it. She needed a booty call. Shelia leaned over to Kelly.

"I'm going to Colin's. I don't want to be alone tonight." Kelly looked at her as if she'd lost her mind, but thankfully didn't say anything. She thumbed her phone and contacted an Uber. Two songs later she got the message her ride was there. Shelia got up and grabbed her purse. She leaned down and gave Kelly a kiss goodbye on the cheek. Before she could leave Kelly grabbed her arm. Shelia thought she was going to try to talk her into staying, but what she heard surprised her.

"Can I come along?"

Under normal circumstances, without the Margaritas, Shelia would have taken into account that Colin didn't think too highly of Kelly. Didn't happen this time.

"Why not? I'm sure he has enough pie for both of us." Kelly arched an eyebrow at Shelia until her second meaning hit home. Shelia burst out laughing as Kelly gathered her stuff and they headed for Colin's together.

Colin groggily came around to urgent soft knocking at his apartment door. From the other side he heard, "Colin! Open up!" It was Shelia. Part of him was instantly excited, but he knew what it meant when she showed up this time of night. So she'd blown him off for the club, which turned out to be a bust and now she wanted a pie and ice cream booty call. He became angry and decided he wouldn't even go to the door. Instead he'd sneak off to bed and she could go home horny and pieless. As he got up off the couch he bumped the coffee table and the acrobatic can performance was suddenly over. He froze hoping it wasn't as loud as it seemed. No such luck; Shelia pounded on the door. "Colin! I heard you! Open the door!" The assertiveness in her voice was hard for him to ignore and he couldn't let her wake up his neighbors again so he headed toward her with the lyrics from the Offspring song Self Esteem running through his head.

'Late at night she knocks on my door, she's drunk again and looking to score. Now I know I should say 'No', but is kind of hard when she's ready to go. I might be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb. I'm just a sucker with no self esteem.'

He yanks the front door open.

"What do you want?" Shelia is a little wobbly on her feet so she leans against the door frame. Colin takes in the school girl outfit; might not be his thing, but she looks damn good.

"I want some of your pie baby."

"It's 2 in the morning. The pie's cold. You should go home." Shelia knew she was going to have to use the smirk so she deployed it now. Taking his hand she put it up under her skirt and cupped it around her growing cock and balls.

"No, I want some of your 'pie'." It was all Colin could to do to remain standing. Feeling her growing bigger and forcing his fingers to spread made him want to drop to his knees and suck her right here in the hallway. In the back of his head the little voice told him to go get her the pie and let her fuck that, but even as he thought it he knew he'd never turn her down. The powerful smirk came in close and turned into a wanton kiss filled with lust and longing. And just like that it was over. He was hers. He would always be hers if she wanted him. He was unable to deny her. She pushed him back into his apartment with her hard cock in his hand. She half-heartedly pushed the door closed and it didn't quite latch. Colin never noticed. "Mmmmmm. It smells so good in here." She whispered up close, her cheek brushing against his. "I think it's making me even more turned on!" Flexing her muscles he felt her cock jump in his hand. "I want you Colin. You're like a disease that I can't get a cure for and I'm having a relapse right now." Her hand squeezes his ass before he spins out of her grip. She's laying it on thick. Everything she knows he likes and Colin can feel himself weakening with each passing second. He wants to stand his ground, at least make his point, but she's a curvy earthquake and his house of resolve is built on sand. He sputters.

"Shelia! You can't just come over here whenever you're horny and expect me to take care of it!" She hears what he's saying, but his body is telling a different story. Colin keeps glancing at her bulging skirt. Then she sees him lick his lips and at that moment knows she'll get what she wants. "You need to come over and spend some time with me! You know? Hang out, eat pie and watch some sappy old movies with me. Is that too much to ask?" Shelia stepped up close and even though he knew he should he didn't pull away. She gently placed her hand on his cheek and caressed it. When she leaned in to kiss him he didn't resist.

"I'm sorry Colin. You're right. I should have come over here." She steps up just a little closer and lets her hardness brush against him. "I would have had more fun and the pie smells delicious. You know how much I love your...pie..." She stole another kiss and this time he returned it. She pressed her erection against him and his shiver told her everything she needed to know. He couldn't resist her. Colin was crazy about her and then add in the whole sex thing they had going on and he was boardwalk taffy in her hands. She could pull him and work him any way she wanted. At a time like this she often wondered if she should quit looking for her needle in a haystack guy and take Colin. No guy would ever be more devoted to her. Shelia pulled his hand back to her throbbing member. "Colin, I need you so bad. I need that talented mouth of yours and that sweet ass." Her hand found its way onto his butt cheek and held it. "Can you forgive me for not coming over?"

Colin knew that forgiveness meant giving in to her desires. To swallowing his non-existent pride and her hard cock. Then letting her have her way with him. He knew this because it had happened before. And it was going to happen again. He nodded his forgiveness and Shelia smiled, victorious.

On the way over to Colin's Shelia and Kelly had worked out how things would go once they got to the apartment. Kelly asked,

"Do you really think Colin will take care of me too? I mean, I don't think he even likes me. Do you have that much sway over him?" Shelia gave her friend a bright buzzed up smile.

"Colin has never told me no and meant it. He won't be happy about you, but once I have him good and horny if he thinks letting you do him is turning me on, he'll go along with it. He can't help himself when it comes to pleasing me." There was a note of pride in her voice.

Kelly shook her head in wonder. No guy had ever felt that way about her and truthfully the guys they were chasing at the clubs never would. She knew it because she'd lived it. Her mind played back that last painful scene with Ryan. She had got off work early due to a computer system crash and had stopped by the grocery for the makings of special dinner for their six month anniversary. As she sat several bags of groceries on the counter in her little apartment she realized that she could hear music coming from the bedroom. Figuring that Ryan had forgotten to turn off his alarm she went to the bedroom to deal with it. When she opened the door she was surprised to find him still in bed. He was laying there with his arms behind his head propped up on a pillow. The sheet lay on a diagonal from the top of his right thigh to his hip bone, barely covering his crotch. In that first split second Kelly's eyes drank in his spectacular V shape and lean underwear model's form. He was a Greek god fallen from Olympus into her bed. His eyes went wide as soon as he saw her and in unison they asked.