No Strings Attached

I dug up an old lighter from the glove compartment and went back to the building. Looking around to make sure that there was no security camera, I grabbed the wastebasket full of flyers and brought it outside. I set it on fire, putting dead leaves on top to make some smoke and then I went back inside the building. I pulled the fire alarm.

The noise was deafening. I ran for the car and a few seconds later, Brad Johnson appeared at his balcony, wearing only his briefs. Judy appeared behind him, obviously naked but in the process of putting on a housecoat. I took a few incriminating pictures.

I was so pissed off at her. When they realized it was nothing, they went back inside.

Seething, I finally drove to the zoo. I caught up with the kids. Amihan caught my state of mind right away and did a pretty good job of deflecting the enthusiastic reports from the kids about their visit so far. I smiled a lot but didn't say much.

Back home, I went straight to the computer room, telling everybody that I had urgent tasks to finish for work. All I got from Judy was a snicker.

I 'worked' late and went to bed after I knew Judy would be asleep.

I didn't sleep that night. In a nutshell: I cried, I fumed, and I planned. Long hours of introspection told me one sure thing: seeing that she was going back to her ex-boyfriend killed any love I had for Judy. I was left with contempt, hate, and all forms of retaliation possible crossed my mind. My love, as strained as it had been for the last year, did snap at the doorsteps of Brad Johnson apartment. I assumed that it had been undermined for months in his bed too.

The next morning, I was a zombie. Even the strong cups of coffee couldn't compensate for my sleepless night. Judy seemed to notice that I wasn't my self, but true to form, she ignored it. Fuck her!

Out of the house, I phoned work to let them know that I wasn't coming in that day. Instead, I dropped in unannounced at a friend of mine, a lawyer. He squeezed me into his busy schedule.

Living in a no-fault state, there was no reason to pursue further the cheating part of the situation. I wanted out and right now. However, I had a little surprise for Judy. I didn't know if she would see through my devious plan, but I sure hoped she wouldn't.

Two days later, all the papers were ready and only waiting my OK to be served. We even had a restraining order issued and ready to be served at the same time. I had taken all the necessary steps to take half of our savings and cancelled all the shared credit cards.

When I make a decision, I act on it. And that was it.

I didn't have any choice. I had to take Amihan into my confidence. She was not that surprised when I informed her that Judy was cheating on me. She was however troubled that I was planning to divorce Judy in the next few hours. I swear she cried at that prospect. Nevertheless I reassured her that everything would be all right.

During the day, I had all the door-locks changed.

When Judy came home, a car with the process server was parked at the curb. She pulled in the driveway and tried her keys that didn't even fit the new locks. After a few seconds, she rang the bell. It was a signal. The process server walked to her.

"Judy White?"

"Yes"

"You are hereby being served," the process server told her.

An astonished look crossed her face and her mouth was still agape when the process server explained to her the nature of the papers she was holding.

"One envelope contains divorce papers. The other one contains a restraining order that stipulates that you are not to have any contact with your present husband and your children until a visitation schedule is established between your chosen lawyer and your husband's lawyer," flatly stated the process server.

And then he added what I paid him a bonus to say. "Your husband paid me to tell you that you should make 107 Maple Drive, apartment 204 your permanent address starting today, and to go to Hell."

He turned around and walked back toward his car.

Judy stood there, watching him take off. After a while she turned toward the house and finally saw me looking at her through the window. She pounced on the door, hitting it with her fists. Thank God the kids were away at my parents with Amihan.

I opened the door a couple of inches with the lock chain still on.

"What do you want, slut?"

"Let me in, it's my house."

"Fuck you Judy! You lost the right to call it your house when you started cheating on me with that asshole Brad. Go back to him, and leave the kids and me alone. You're disgusting me and the kids are off limits to you, slut."

Judy had tears running down her cheeks.

"Please Allan, let me in. Let me talk to you for the kids' sake. I understand your feelings and I am sorry that I caused that, but let's be civilized about that. No need for such drama, it will hurt the kids," she pleaded through the small gap.

"Of course we will do it in a civilized manner, Judy," I retorted.

"As you are guilty of breaking our marriage agreement and lying to the kids and me, we have no choice but to settle it through our lawyers. Don't contest the divorce petition and everything will be all right. Now get away from my family or I will call the cops, in a very civilized fashion, I promise."

I closed the door in her face and walked away. She kept knocking on the door, yelling to let her in, but I didn't do any such thing and she finally gave up.

Two hours later, the phone calls started, first from her cell phone, then from an unknown number. Brad's phone I assumed. I didn't answer. By now she must know the content of the divorce petition. Against my lawyer's advice, I requested full custody of our kids, limitation of her visiting rights to once a month -- the fourth Saturday of the month, and under strict supervision -- and a generous monthly child support payment. Oh, and the divorce petition was based on infidelity.

My lawyer was against such provisions, but - as I was footing the bills - I prevailed. His first objection was that our state did not recognize infidelity as a worthy reason. He wanted to simply put irreconcilable differences. Second, even if I had been the primary care giver to the kids, no court would deny the traditional care-giving role to a woman. Again, I insisted on that.

The next week, Judy answered all guns blazing. The restraining order was contested. No surprise there. On top of that, her lawyer did record his own counter proposal asking for a full custody, alimony, and an equal child support payment to what I was asking.

First came the restraining order, which was overturned. The judge ruled in favor of a shared custody. We managed a schedule between Judy and me, through our lawyers. The judge ruled in my favor and I kept the use of our home for the time being.

I did something that I am a bit ashamed of, not much though. In a childish fit of rage, I gathered all the family pictures and the entire family photos albums and set fire to it in our backyard fire pit. I only kept a few pictures of the kids for myself. An avid photographer, Judy must have taken close to 20,000 pictures over the course of our marriage. The bonfire kept burning for hours. I also deleted all the downloaded pictures from our home computer, not before burning a few files onto a DVD disc. From what the kids told me, Judy was incensed when she learned what I had done. That sure explained the phone call that Saturday when she cursed me, and assured me that I would pay for what I had done.

I missed a few of my custody days. Because of my work and my busy schedule, I missed a few Saturday shift changes, having to rely more heavily on Judy's availability. That played a huge role in the final divorce ruling.

Then, the divorce went to court four months later. With all my missed custody, it was a given that I would lose this ruling.

And lose I did: Judy gaining rightful custody of the kids and received a nice child support payment in the process. She was given the exclusive use of the house and I had to vacate it within 24 hours.

I had two surprises waiting for Judy. First, as previously agreed between us, Amihan left the house with me. Judy was observing the process of me moving out from the house. She was in a car at the curb in the company of none else than Brad Johnson. When Judy saw me loading Amihan's trunks in the back of the pick-up, she came out of the car to demand an explanation.

"I am moving away, Ms. Judy. I think I will go back to the Philippines. I don't want to work for you anymore. You are not a nice lady. I will miss the children and Mr. White, but I don't want to work for you or that man over there," said Amihan, her eyes never leaving the ground.

With that, I opened the pick-up door to let Amihan in, and we drove away from a speechless Judy. Within minutes, Amihan and I were settled in my new 3-bedroom apartment. She would be working for me from now on, mostly as a maid and cook, but also as a nanny when the kids would be visiting.

The second surprise came two months after the divorce. Our company had a contract going up North. I was a frequent visitor to the work site but the company felt that they needed closer supervision. I accepted the move there for 6 months, from December to May. As a gift for her loyalty to me, I paid Amihan's plane ticket to go visit her family during that period; that way she wasn't a liar as she had told Judy that she would go back home.

It was hard for the kids and me to know that I would be away for so long. But guess what! It was harder on Judy. With all my missed scheduled turns to take the kids over the last months, and now the fact that she would be the only caregiver for the next 6 months, her social life kind of took a dive.

From what I heard through the grapevine, Brad never considered moving in with her, what with all the kids around. In April, they were officially not an item anymore, Brad having found a nice single blonde with no kids, that really likes to party.

I returned home at the end of May. Amihan was already back and she came to greet me at the airport. She was dressed to kill. Almost every male at the airport was ogling her. She jumped in my arms and hugged me fiercely.

"I missed you so much mister White," she said.

"And thank you again for paying for my plane ticket to visit my parents."

I was a bit embarrassed. Here was this gorgeous woman jumping me in public, almost 20 years my junior, looking like a teenager more than a 29 years old woman, and I looked like an old pervert. To be honest, I was also thrilled to have a chance to hold her in my arms. I missed her too. After her 10 years of loyal dedication to my family, she was part of the family. She had been also a great moral support during the divorce.

"I missed you too, a lot!" I told her. She hugged me again, pressing her slim body to mine.

We drove in silence toward home and made it in one hour. I was musing over the show of affection earlier at the airport. Amihan has never been so forward and had always dressed more conservatively. It is true that the last months before my departure, I had noticed that she dressed sexier, even showing me a glimpse here and there of her nice body, but I hadn't read anything into it. If I wasn't mistaking her behaviour, she was coming on to me. As a friend and confident in my time of need, I really cared for her and I wanted to be straightforward with her.

"Amihan, what's going on? I believe that you are trying to seduce me, and you are very good at it I must add. We have known each other for over 10 years. You have been a real support for me when I divorced Judy, and I thank you a lot for that. We have to be honest toward each other and speak freely. What's going on?" I asked her.

"You need a good wife Mister White," she said.

"Come on Amihan, call me Allan. You often called me Allan."

"Ok Mis... Allan! You need a good wife that will take care of you and that will take care of your children. You need a good wife that will give you love and more children. I care a lot for you Mis... Allan. I don't want you to be hurt again by that woman."

"You mean Judy, my ex-wife?"

"Yes!"

"Why would you think that she could hurt me more than she already has?"

"Well, now she's alone again. Her boyfriend left her. I fear she will try again to be your wife."

"And that would bother you? I thought you were sad that we divorced. Wouldn't you like Judy and me to be together again with the children?"

"No! My mother told me that you are a good man and that I would be a better wife. If I marry you, I will be only for you. I will be better, younger and prettier than her. I saw your pain. I heard you cry when everybody was asleep. I wanted to go to you, but you were still married to her, and that would have been bad of me. I don't want her back. I want you to be with me."

Wow! That was quite a revelation for sure. I was a bit at loss to follow her as I realized that our cultural differences were so great. In all she said to me, the only thing I knew for sure was that she wanted to be my wife. Did she love me? In a way, I guess. But I wasn't sure the way she saw love was similar to the way we think about it in North America. Nevertheless, she was a good friend and I didn't want to hurt her.

"Amihan, I am flattered. I am touched, but it is a bit early for me to think about marriage again. All I want is to be home, have you with me and have the kids around," I said as delicately as possible.

"You are taking me by surprise, that's for sure. I never guessed that you had these feelings for me. I will have to think about it."

Amihan looked deflated. It was a turn down, and she knew it. I didn't want to leave her in that state of mind.

"Look Amihan! You are young, pretty and lovely. You would be better with somebody younger than me. But one thing is sure. I will never let Judy back in my life. Right now, you are the woman of my life."

It kind of cheered her up.

***

Epilogue

One year later

Amihan and me were quietly sitting on the couch. My gaze kept looking at the picture back on the wall of the living room where it belonged. It was a picture taken 5 years ago, my eldest son and my daughter were playing in the backyard with the hose, splashing each other while I was fast asleep in a lounging chair, our youngest son nestled in the crook of my arm, sleeping. I had not destroyed that picture. I put it in a frame and Judy hung it back on the living room wall.

Speaking of the devil, I heard her car pulled in the driveway. The kids rushed inside the house.

"Hi Dad, Hi Amihan," said Allan Jr, running toward his bedroom, followed by his sister and brother.

Judy was right behind them. She was still a beautiful woman, a classy woman. No wonder I fell in love with her.

"Sorry, we are late!" she said, going to the kitchen with a couple of bags of grocery.

Amihan got up and went to see what the kids were doing in their bedrooms. Judy was coming back toward the living room and she looked at Amihan's back. She finally looked back at me.

"My goodness you look good Allan!" she said.

"Each time I see the gorgeous man I married so many years ago, I can't help thinking what a fool I have been."

"Yeah! That's true. But don't ever forget that I pushed all the right buttons to make you realize it sooner." I retorted.

"If I didn't love you so much, I would still be mad at the way you manipulated me. I know, I know, he would have left me anyway. But by leaving the kids with me, you kind of sped up the process. It took less than a year and he was gone, and I was alone, without a lover, and without a husband."

"I wanted to hurt you so bad," I acknowledged.

"And it worked. But I can't fault you really for simply making my life miserable after what I did to you. Just looking at you now and seeing how happy you are, without me, I know that the week-end alone without the kids will be another shitty week-end."

Amihan was walking back toward us; my three kids close behind her with their overnight bags. She was radiant with her big belly, eight months full of my child.

Amihan and Judy hugged each other.

"Take good care of the kids and Allan," asked Judy.

"Yes Ms Judy! I will. And I will have the kids phone you at least once a day. We will bring them back next week," Amihan said in a reassuring tone.

We left and I am sure Judy spent the next hour wondering the same thing as me: what would have been our life if we were still together? Wishful thinking, yes! But an impossible question to escape when both of us still realize what we lost. Let's just say that it was easier for me to get over it, with my new wife and my soon to be born second daughter.

Life goes on!