No Turning Back

With her heart beating loudly in her ears, all other sounds seem like a muted echo resounding from some far off distance. Gazing out the window, looking, but not really seeing, she focuses on the small insect pillowed against the glass. Hearing the creaking of the taps as her husband finishes his shower, Kim glances over at the clock; the second hand seeming to move in an endless slow motion. 'I have to stay calm,' she tells herself as she closes her eyes. Taking deep, soothing breaths, a bead of sweat slowly makes its way down her temple.

Trying to distract herself from her thoughts she fills the kettle, her hand shaking uncontrollably as she reaches for the tap. Kim grips the edge of the bench tight. Feeling the queasy stirrings in her stomach, she swallows hard, fighting back the urge to be sick. She can't be sick, not today. Oh God, if she vomits now he's sure to get suspicious. Kim is never sick, not unless she's nervous; or pregnant. At least she knows she's not pregnant. Having shied away from Richard's drunken advances for so long, she hasn't felt the sensuous caresses of a man's touch in years. 'Hurry up and leave,' she silently prays, closing her eyes as she cups her hands to her face.

Kim shivers involuntarily as she thinks of what Richard would do if he knew what she had planned. He hadn't noticed the clothes missing, slowly disappearing from the wardrobe, or the money mysteriously vanishing from their bank account. She'd taken precautions so she couldn't be traced. The unit was leased in her sister's name, as was the phone, which she had insisted on having a silent number. She'd had weeks to plan this. Today was the moment of truth.

"I'll see you later," Richard calls out as he closes the door behind him.

"Oh no you won't!" Kim whispers under her breath, listening intently for the sound of his car pulling out of their driveway. She lets out a relieved sigh hearing him driving down toward the end of the street. Knowing what she has to do, and knowing she has to move fast, she picks up the phone and dials.

"Hi, it's me. He's gone."

'Okay. Dad's on his way here, we'll be there soon.'

"Thanks." Kim says, grateful as she hangs up the phone.

Knowing she only has a few hours before Richard gets back, she grabs the roll of garbage bags from the cupboard and moves quickly to the bedroom. Opening the wardrobe door, she begins to pull clothes down, hangers and all she shoves them into the bags. Pulling drawers from the dressers, she piles them on the bed ready to be moved. Packing what she can, putting the rest loosely on the mattress, moving with a determination knowing she doesn't have much time.

'There's no turning back now,' Kim thinks to herself hearing the sound of the truck pulling up out front. Opening the door, she smiles gratefully at her father and sister.

"Hi, guys."

Kissing her lightly on the cheek, Robyn gives Kim a reassuring hug. Pulling away slightly, holding her at arms length, a concerned look crosses Robyn's face.

"Are you okay? You're looking a bit pale."

"I'm fine," Kim lies, a tight knot forming in her stomach. "I was just worried, I thought he'd never leave."

"Well he's gone now;" Robyn says sympathetically. Seeing the pile of bags and stacked boxes, she turns to Kim. "How long till he gets home?"

"We have about four hours. No doubt he'll hit the pub after the game."

"Oh shit, not much time; we'd better get started. I'll help Dad move some of the furniture into the truck, Kim. I'll give you a hand packing when we've done that." Robyn says, taking control. Turning her attention to their father, Robyn moves to help him lift a corner of the lounge.

Despite the fifteen years difference in their ages, Robyn had always been Kim's favorite sister. She'd always been the first to offer solace or a helping hand when needed. Coming from a large family it's easy to form alliances, but to Kim, she didn't need an alliance when Robyn was around. The two of them had always been close. Closer lately as Robyn had become Kim's confidante, a savior in her time of need. It had been Robyn that had given Kim the courage to finally leave.

The next two hours pass in a blur of activity as they busy themselves loading the truck. The endless trips lugging boxes in and out leaving them all feeling lethargic. Wiping his brow, Kim's father turns to her,

"Is that all of it?"

"Yep. That's the lot," Kim says, "Thanks for all your help Dad." Even though still fit for his young seventy-three years, she can't help but notice how tired he's looking. The dark circles under his eyes and the white of his hair contrasting against his tanned complexion, making him appear years older.

"You're worth it." He smiles, touching her arm lightly. "Well, we'd better get this lot unloaded," he says as he heads for the truck. As he climbs into the cabin he turns back to Kim. "See you there, Ratbag." He hadn't called her that since she was a kid.

"Okay, Grumpy," Kim laughs. "I'll meet you there in a few minutes. I'm just going to lock up."

Recollecting the many relentless drunken beatings Richard had unleashed upon her, Kim finds a new energy as she packs the remainder of the bags into her car. 'Yes,' she thinks as she gazes at what was once her dream home, 'There's no turning back.' As she drives down the street she glances into the rear view mirror, watching as her house disappears into the distance.

Robyn and her father are already unloading the truck as she pulls up at the apartment. Through the open door of her new home, she can see the already huge pile of boxes accumulating. Taking a deep breath, Kim grabs a box and carries it inside. A rush of excitement charges through her, as the realization of finally being free from the years of torment suddenly sinks in. Looking around she sighs contently. A new home, a new beginning.

"Where do you want this?" Robyn asks, interrupting Kim's train of thought. Looking to see the hand carved figurine in Robyn's hand, Kim laughs.

"Here, I'll take him." Kim says, taking the statue from Robyn. "Thanks for all your help today. I don't know what I would have done without you and Dad helping,"

"Anytime. We're just glad you finally came to your senses and left the bastard." Robyn says, rubbing Kim's arm affectionately.

Smiling gratefully, Kim averts her attention to the figurine in her hands. It was a momento she'd once picked up whilst on holiday in Bali. Skimming her finger lightly over the statue, she smiles softly remembering all the fun she'd had that year. It was their escape, just her and 'the girls'. Every year since they were teenagers they'd all skimp and save for their annual trip abroad. That had all stopped the year she'd met Richard; these days she hardly ever saw her friends, Richard had made sure of that. With a heavy sigh she places the statue down on a box.

With the truck now empty, Kim's father walks over to her and takes her in his arms. Kissing her hair softly he hands her an envelope.

"This is from your mother and I," he says. With tears welling in her eyes, she hugs her father tight.

"Thanks Dad." Kim smiles. Watching as he climbs into the truck beside Robyn, she tucks her hands into her pockets.

'Well, it's just you now kiddo,' she says to herself as she watches until the truck disappears out of sight. Turning on her heel, she goes back inside. Overcome by the daunting sight before her, Kim sets to work. Finding her stereo, she plugs it in and turns the volume up high. Shania Twain's 'Black Eyes, Blue Tears' belts out through the speakers. 'How appropriate,' Kim laughs as she tears open the first box, beginning the thankless task of unpacking.

It's nightfall before she remembers that she hasn't eaten all day. Grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl she takes a bite; resting it on the bench, she tears the tape from the box of glassware in front of her. It had been a long day, the exhaustion seeping through her, dulling her senses as she slides the last glass into the cabinet. Raising her hands high above her head she stretches, exhaling as she releases some of the day's tensions. 'At least the kitchen's done.' she thinks to herself. Yawning, she makes her way wearily to the bedroom. Moving a few scattered boxes from her mattress she pulls the covers over herself and lays down, feeling herself relax as her head sinks gradually, deeper into the pillow.

James, Kim's neighbor, knocks on her door the next afternoon. She'd met him on several occasions during her numerous visits to the apartment, secretly dropping off bags of her clothing and a few groceries. He seems nice, she'd thought that first time he introduced himself. He'd been sitting on his balcony, radio tuned to a baseball game, she'd smiled and waved as she unloaded a few bags from her car. She was naturally surprised when he'd come over, offering to take the bags inside for her. Since that first meeting they had become well acquainted. The conversations normally not lasting more than ten minutes, yet enough for them to form the basis of a promising friendship. She hadn't noticed how tall he was; opening the door to him now, his six foot frame towers above her.

"Oh, hi James," Kim smiles up at him.

"Hi. I hadn't realized you'd already moved in until I saw your car. I was just wondering if you need help moving anything."

"Thanks for the offer, but I only have a few boxes left to unpack," she smiles gratefully.

"Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me," he laughs. Turning to leave, he suddenly stops. "Do you have any plans for tonight? I mean, if you're not still busy with the unpacking... " Blushing at his own awkwardness, he shoves his hands in his pockets.

"I should have it done by then. Thanks, James, I honestly wasn't looking forward to spending the night alone."

"We don't have to do much. How does pizza and a couple of videos sound?"

"Perfect." Kim smiles gratefully. "I'll bring the popcorn," she teases.

"See you then," James laughs, as he heads back to his apartment. Noting the time as she glances at the clock, Kim unbuttons her blouse as she heads for the shower.

Dressing for her evening with James was easy for Kim. Although it had been a wet day, the drizzle seeming endless throughout the afternoon, it was still humid. In her jeans and long sleeved t -shirt, she grabs her jacket just in case, not sure how late of an evening she was in for. Pizza and videos was just what she needed to take her mind off the grueling past thirty-six hours.

"Hi, Kim." he beams. "Come in."

"Thanks," she says, returning his smile. Gazing around as she enters, Kim eyes his tastefully adorned apartment as she tosses her jacket over the back of one of the lounge chairs. "Wow, you have great taste!"

"Thanks," James says as he closes the door and moves in to the lounge room. "Want a drink? I have beer, there's half a cask of wine, or soft drink. Sorry, I forgot you only drink the diet stuff."

"That's okay," she laughs. "I'll have a beer thanks, if you're having one." Picking up the videos from the coffee table, Kim sits down on the sofa. "Oh, you like horror too?" she asks, over her shoulder.

"Which one," He looks over to see Kim holding up the video case. "Oh, American Werewolf in London? That's one of my all time favorite movies; it's a classic!" James says. Handing Kim a beer, he sits beside her on the couch. "Sorry, do you want a glass?"

"Nah, it's already in a glass," she laughs, holding up the stubbie.

"Brat," he laughs, slapping her arm playfully. Giggling, Kim feels the low growl of her stomach as it gently rumbles.

"Have you ordered the pizza yet? I'm famished."

"No. I wasn't sure what type you liked, so I waited. I should have asked you earlier, sorry."

"As long as it has lots of ham, cheese and salami, I'm not fussy," she laughs. "Oh, and egg, bacon, pineapple, chicken, want me to go on? I'm not fussy, really." Grinning, she pokes him in the ribs teasingly.

"Oh, my kinda gal," he laughs. "El Supremo it is." With that, James gets up and walks into the kitchen to get the pizza restaurant's number. Kim lays languidly back against the sofa, perusing the other videos while waiting for him to return.

"Have to set the mood," James says on his return as he dims the lights. "Want the werewolf one first?"

"Sure," Kim says, handing him the cassette.

As the movie plays, James slides his arm around Kim's shoulder. Thoughts of food forgotten as her hand slides to his thigh, her finger tracing lazy circles as she mindlessly watches the images on the screen.

A sudden rap at the door awakens them, as James gets to his feet. Grabbing his wallet, he heads to the door.

"Hungry?" Placing the pizza on the table in front of them, they both reach for a slice. Their fingers brush lightly together, sending shivers running up Kim's spine.

Looking up into his face, Kim smiles. Brushing his thumb lightly over her cheek wiping away a stray hair, James leans down and presses his lips softly against hers. The kiss so tender, so gentle as they sit there on the sofa embraced in each others arms. Their lips slowly parting as they relax into the kiss, their tongues moving shyly into each other's mouth. His fingers curling in her hair as he pulls her against him. Sliding her arms around his waist, Kim moves her hands up his back, molding her body against his as the passion in their kiss intensifies.

Upon breaking their embrace, Kim yawns deeply; feeling the exhaustion of the past few days finally catching up with her.

"We'd better get you to bed," James suggests. "Do you want to stay here for the night?"

"I know I probably shouldn't, I really should spend at least the first few nights in my new home."

"Well, I'm off tomorrow, I'll come with you." he says. Resting his beer on the coffee table, he turns to face her. "Give me a minute to grab a few things."

"Okay," she smiles up at him as he moves toward his bedroom. Stopping the video and rewinding it Kim sits quietly, her mind racing over their intimate kiss.

"Now don't laugh," she hears James say as he enters. Looking up to see him standing there in black sleep pants covered in small red dragons, mostly hidden by the dark robe that is tied loosely around his waist, Kim wants to do anything but laugh. Realizing for the first time how incredibly handsome he is, she feels her heart racing.

"Wow," she jokes, hoping the flush in her face isn't obvious, "You look good enough to take to bed." Laughing, he grabs his keys.

"Ready?" he asks. Finishing the last mouthful of her beer, Kim nods as she grabs her jacket. Switching out the lights, James closes the door behind them.

"Wait till you see my pajamas," she laughs as they enter her apartment.

"Can't wait," he grins. Spotting the piano as they enter, he looks at Kim. "You play?"

"Well I try to." she laughs. Tossing her keys on the bench she looks at the clock. "God, it's after midnight. No wonder I'm so tired."

"Time flies... " he says, his voice trailing as he runs a finger lightly over the keyboard. "So, will you play something for me?"

"Sure," Kim laughs, removing her watch and placing it by her keys. "Just don't expect me to be any good! I'll be back in a sec. I'm going to throw on a nitie." Looking up from the keyboard he smiles at her.

"Okay, Hon."

Looking up as she returns, James whistles. Blushing slightly under his watchful gaze, Kim adjusts the pencil thin strap of her nitie. The fabric slightly clinging to her body showing off her curves as it splays downward, covering her lace panties by mere inches.

"Wow," he says. "Now who looks good enough to take to bed?" Laughing, she takes a seat beside him at the piano, teasingly flicking one of the straps from her shoulder.

"What do you want me to play?" she asks. Turning to face him, she realizes he's staring at her. Not just staring, it's like he's trying to look deep into her soul. There was more in that one look than a thousand words could describe. Seeing the lust in his eyes she moves her hand slowly to his face.

"You are so beautiful," he says noticing her obvious embarrassment as her face turns a shade darker. "Even more so when you blush," he laughs. Sliding from the stool, he stands and moves behind her. "Play something for me."

"Okay," Kim says, placing her fingers in position on the keys. As the haunting, sensual sounds of Fur Elise fill the room, James gently rubs her shoulders. Moving his hand along the back of her neck pulling her hair aside, he moves his mouth to her shoulder. Feeling an excited shiver surge up her spine, she suddenly stops playing.

"Don't stop," he whispers. "I want you to keep playing."

Gasping as his mouth moves slowly up the side of her neck, she reluctantly plays. The warmth of his breath making it almost impossible for her to concentrate on the keys.

"Don't stop," he whispers.

Moving his hand sensuously down her side, his breath hot on her neck as he slides his hand over her inner thigh. Kim parts her thighs slightly as she leans her head back against his chest, soft moans escaping as James' hand traces lightly up to her damp panties. Increasing the pressure as his fingers trace a path over her folds, feeling the heat from her body he moves his hand lower. Cupping her mound, his finger probes against the resistance of her lace panty.

Her fingers moving blindly on the keys as she closes her eyes savoring his touch. Sliding his hand inside her panties, he slips a finger between her folds moving it slowly through the lubricated silkiness of her arousal. James skims the tip of his tongue along the nape of her neck as his other hand moves to her breast caressing it through the sheer fabric of her nitie. Tracing his finger lightly around the outline of her protruding nipple before cupping her breast firmly, drawing his fingers together as he tugs on her hardened peak.

"Keep playing," he whispers coarsely as he plunges a finger deep inside her tightness. Pressing her hips forward onto his hand, Kim's every exhale coming out as a soft moan as James' works his probing hand faster, his thumb outstretched moving over her hardened clit. Sliding a second finger deep inside her, he curls them against her inner walls, slowly withdrawing them before plunging them back inside her.

"Oh, God," she moans feeling the heat inside her rise. Sensing her heightened arousal, James moves his hand away from her pussy.

"Not yet," he whispers. Reaching for the top of the piano he grabs one of the candles from its holder and places it beside him. "Face me."

Her head swimming as she turns on the stool and looks up lustfully into his eyes. Placing his hand on the back of her neck he pulls her face to his. Their lips meeting in a fiery kiss as their passions escalate. His other hand reaching between her thighs grabbing at her panties, drawing the sides of them together so the fabric is forced between her folds. Moving the lace between her lips, pulling it back and forth in a see-saw motion as it rubs against her hardened nub. Her desperation for release portrayed in her kiss. Forcing her tongue deeper into his mouth, pressing her face harder against his as she rocks her hips encouraging the material onto her swollen clit.

"Oh, God," Kim muffles against James' mouth as his tongue continues to explore her mouth. Moving her hand up his thigh over his hidden bulge, she hears James' sharp inhale as he pulls the panties from her folds and replaces it with his fingers. As he drives two fingers hard and deep inside her, she feels herself relenting to her pending orgasm.

"I can't hold on any longer, James," she rasps between breaths," I need to cum." With that he falls to his knees between her thighs. Holding her panties to the side as he picks up the candle, running the tip over her labia lubricating it with her juices. With his middle and index fingers, he parts her folds exposing the hardness of her clit as he lowers his lips around it. Sucking it into his mouth, his tongue flicking over her nub as he gingerly slides the tip of the candle to her moist opening. With slow but firm pressure he pushes it inside her, feeling the resistance wane as she relaxes into the stimulating sensations coursing through her.