No Turning Back

"And here we are," he said.

"Yes, I can't believe I just arrived and here I am fucking the maintenance man on the kitchen floor on my first day." I loved being able to talk to him like this. Just saying the word "fucking" out loud to a man was unbelievable. I could not believe this was actually happening--the real Molly was breaking out and the thought of all my sexual fantasies coming true swirled through my mind.

"You want a fuck buddy, don't you?"

"Yes, a fuck buddy," I repeated, chuckling. I had never heard that term before but it sounded exciting. "That's what I want."

"It's honest. No games. No expectations. No pretending--just two people wanting to pleasure each other with no strings."

"Sounds like we both want the same thing," I said, suddenly getting turned on by his words and attitude.

"The trick is keeping it simple. Not letting it turn into anything more--that's when it can get messy. But you never know what life has in store for you. Things just happen and you go along for the ride." I nodded and leaned back in my chair to relax. My skirt was high on my thighs. When I sat back, he turned his chair towards me, lifted his leg and with his bare foot moved my legs apart. I wasn't sure what he was doing until he suddenly pressed his foot against my pussy and started rubbing me. God that felt good. I opened my legs wider and closed my eyes as he played with me--his foot and my small satiny thong pressed against my wet pussy.

I opened my eyes and loved how he was watching me, knowing he was getting me hot. I wanted to get him hot too, so I did the same, I lifted one bare foot, moving it past his leg and pressed the arch of my foot against the bulge in his jeans. He closed his eyes and his head fell back as the sensation from my foot shot through him.

"Molly, you learn how to play fast," he said moving his foot harder up and down my soaked thong and aching pussy.

"Ohhh, Jesse that feels so good." I shifted forward grinding my pussy harder against his foot, wanting to fuck it. He was driving me crazy. I could not believe what a slut I was becoming. I was crazed and wanted his big cock ravishing me. I pushed my foot harder against his cock, grinding the arch into him with more intensity while shoving my pussy harder against his foot, my lust overpowering me with the need to explode causing me to shout, "I want your cock. I want it now! Fuck me!"

"No, not yet," he said, smiling devilishly, pushing his heel against my pussy then suddenly pulling it away, leaving me stunned and desperate.

"Oh no! Don't stop! Please! Don't do this to me!"

Jessee looked at me, his foot barely an inch from my soaked pussy, my heart beating madly, my breathing heavy, my nipples hard. Suddenly, I pulled down my tight blouse and bra, my big tits spilling out, feeling completely uninhibited, I leaned back in the chair, grabbing my tits, rubbing them hard, pinching and twisting my nipples, squirming forward in my chair, my tight skirt high on my thighs, my legs wide apart, lifting my hips and thrusting my pussy towards his foot unable to reach it. It was so close. I could feel its heat and I wanted it more than anything, squirming and stretching towards it. I was desperate and all I wanted was to be fucked hard--nothing else mattered. He smiled looking into my hungry eyes as I strained to fuck his foot like it was his cock.

Suddenly, unable to stand it, I leaped up off the chair and straddled his legs, lifting my tight skirt, feeling it straining against my hips and came down hard against his bulging cock. I moved my aching pussy up and down the length of his cock, the barrier of my soaked thong and his jeans driving me even crazier. I was insane when he grabbed my ass pulling me harder against his stiff pole. I couldn't stand it any longer and sat straight up and reached down between my legs to unbuttoned his jeans then unzipped them. His eyes were fixed on mine as I grabbed his hard cock and pulled it out, grasping it in my hand, feeling it throbbing as I held it straight up. With my feet on the floor, I lifted myself, moved my tiny thong aside and suddenly came down hard on his rock hard cock, the sensation of it impaling me filling me, overwhelming me. I gasped then screamed, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmygod you're so big!"

"Ride me! Ride me! Come on Molly take my cock for a ride!" he screamed, his strong hands on my hips lifting me above his cock then pulling me down on him.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Fuck!" I screamed, my hair flailing, my tits bouncing, just above his mouth. The power of my riding him pushed the chair back and just as it felt like it was going to tip over backwards, he pushed me off of him, stood up. He grabbed my arm with one hand and quickly moved the dishes aside with his other hand then pushed me face down on the table, crushing my tits against the surface. He grabbed my hands and stretched my arms over my head. I gripped the edge of the table as he leaned over my back, his hands on my hips, spreading my legs apart before thrusting his cock into me fast and hard. I was on the verge of exploding in a huge orgasm, his hard cock thrusting faster and harder, opening me like I've never been before.

"'Fuck me! Fuck me!" I screamed, loving those words coming out of my mouth as he rammed his cock into me like a hot piston driving a long hard rod deep into my cunt.

"Take my cock you slut! Take it! Take it! Take it! You little slut," he yelled with each hard deep thrust. His words and his pounding cock made my pussy grip him even harder and suddenly I let go, my whole body convulsing sending shock waves throughout my body. "Ohhhhhhhhhgod! I'm cummmmming! Don't stop! Just fuck me!" He kept thrusting harder and harder through my orgasm and just as I was about to climax again, I felt his body tense, his cock swelling in me and he screamed, "Ohhhhhhhh Molly! I'm cummmmmmmmmming!"

The sensation of his hot cum shooting into my exploding pussy caused me to scream with him, our loud voices filling the small apartment with our ecstatic yelling. He then collapsed on my back, his cock still in me as we both lay gasping for air on his table. I loved the weight of his warm body on me. I could not move. He kissed my shoulder and my neck as he lay on me. I did not release his cock keeping it trapped deep in my pussy. His kisses were so soft and gentle. I could not believe this was me being kissed so tenderly with a cock in my pussy. I was dizzy with emotion and sensations I had never felt before.

Just then he lifted me off the table, took my hand and moved me to the small bed on the other side of the room. We lay down and he embraced me then pushed me gently on my side facing away from him so that we were spooning. He wrapped me in his arms and I hugged them as he held me. I felt so content. I closed my eyes and I think we both fell asleep.

When I woke up, I turned and saw Jesse was asleep, his arms gently resting on me. I lay there feeling his warm body, listening to his quiet breathing, so many thoughts and feelings spinning in my mind. I could not believe I had just arrived to start my new life and never expected I would meet a man like Jesse on my first day.

After a few minutes, I felt Jesse stirring. I turned my head towards him. He opened his eyes and looked up at me and smiled. He rubbed my thigh as we lay there quietly. He kissed my shoulder then the back of my head. I could feel his cock pressed against my round ass. We were both quiet, but his hand rubbing my thigh was soothing. Gently, he turned me on my back and leaned over me, smiling, looking into my eyes. Without speaking, he got between my legs, his cock pressed against my pussy. I looked up at him, our eyes locked on each other's eyes.

"Want some dessert," he said.

"Sure," I smiled, looking into his eyes.

We kissed and fucked again, only this time he entered me slowly, his body seemed light and his slow thrusting felt so tender. He pulled out even slower creating such an excruciating tingling in my pussy, I could barely move under him. I just wanted to savor the intense sensation of his cock going slowly in and out of my pussy. He looked into my eyes as he moved then stopped, his cock deep in me felt so big and full. After lying like that for a minute or two, he began to move in a small, slow screwing motion. I moved with his motion, my pussy gripping his cock, the slow movement driving me insane with wanting more. I started moving faster, lifting my ass of the bed to get him deeper. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper into me. Just then he pulled out slowly leaving me breathless. He looked down at me, smiled and then suddenly he thrust his cock into me hard and deep.

"Ohhhhhhhh yes! I gasped at the power of his thrust. The slow pulling out of me then ramming his cock in me was intense. He then grabbed my legs and put them over his shoulder. I felt him move slightly forward, looking into my eyes then suddenly thrust deep and hard again and again, his cock rubbing my clit with each thrust, each time going faster, deeper, harder, our eyes locked on each others eyes, my orgasm building slowly with each hard thrust. I lifted my ass off the bed, urging him to really fuck me, shouting, "Harder! Harder!" getting him to drive me back to the bed with his pounding cock, both of us getting closer, his thrusts getting faster, harder, deeper then suddenly my trembling body convulsed, his body tensed and suddenly we both exploded in huge orgasms screaming at the top of our lungs, filling the small apartment with our ecstatic shouting, his thrusting cock gushing hot spurts of cum into my already overflowing pussy.

He collapsed on me and we were gasping and panting. I loved his weight on me, the aroma of our sex, the warm wetness of our bodies, our heavy breathing as I lay there holding him in my arms, looking up at the ceiling, unable to comprehend what was happening to me and had no idea where my life was going. I only knew there was no turning back.

I did not want to leave Jesse's bed. I loved being held and the warmth of our bodies. I knew my life was now changed forever. This was my first day in Boston and I couldn't believe I was in bed with a man I just met. I couldn't believe we had fucked on the kitchen floor of my apartment. I couldn't believe I actually had dinner with a man who seemed to see into my soul and knew me. Things like this happen in romance novels and in movies, but they don't happen in real life and they definitely don't happen to me. My mind was spinning trying to comprehend what was happening.

"Thinking again," Jesse whispered, lifting his head from my shoulder and smiling into my eyes.

I nodded looking into his blue eyes, noticing how they twinkled and the lines next to his eyes as he smiled. I didn't know what to say. I was still stunned by my being here and all that was happening.

"Be here," he said, leaning on his elbow, propping his head on his hand, smiling down at me.

I nodded again, smiling back at him, trying to stop my mind.

"I don't believe what is happening to me. I don't believe all this is happening on my first day away from home."

He nodded, listening but didn't say anything. He just looked at me with his tender smile. I sighed, taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I glanced over at the table, the soup bowls pushed to one side remembering how he fucked me there. My eyes moved around the small room at the books, the green chair, the small kitchen, the loaf of bread on the counter, half sliced. I looked back at Jesse, still looking down at me, smiling.

He lowered his face and kissed me lightly. I returned the kiss. We were still silent.

"Do you believe in destiny?" I asked, breaking the silence, remembering a few of the romance novels I read.

"I don't know," he responded. "All I know is that life is mysterious." He paused. "I would like to believe in destiny and fate, but I also think everything is random, haphazard. Things just happen and there is no rational explanation."

I listened as he spoke, enjoying his thinking but still bewildered by what was happening to me.

"We humans think we have to understand everything so we make up stories to explain what can't be explained. Do you know what I mean?"

"I think so," I responded, nodding.

"That's why I said stop thinking. You're trying to figure out what's happening instead of being in the present and just enjoying."

"You're right" I nodded. "But it's hard not to think and try to make sense of everything."

"True, but when you realize that life just happens and you have little or no control, you just accept what comes your way and embrace it. That's my philosophy." He leaned down and kissed me again, lightly. "Whether our meeting like we did today was destiny or just luck, I don't know. The only thing that matters is that it happened and here we are." He kissed me again. "So let's enjoy and go hour by hour and see what happens."

"I've never met anyone like you," I said, liking how his long grayish hair hung over one eye as he looked down at me.

"You never will, either," he answered. "You will never meet anyone like me," he said. "I know that sounds like I'm tooting my own horn--which I am, but you will see."

"What will I see?" I asked.

"I am not going to tell you what you will see, but you will know what I mean in good time."

I felt confused by his words but just listened, fascinated by the mystery he was creating.

Suddenly, he moved and sat on the side of the bed. He took my hand, looking back at me--my head on the soft pillows. I looked up at him, wondering what he was going to say as he looked into my eyes. He took a deep breath.

"Molly, I am almost thirty years older than you. You are young and I am happy that we have met but I don't want to get in your way or complicate your life."

"What are you saying?" I asked. "Is this a one-night stand?" I asked feeling anger rising.

"I hope not," he said.

"What do you mean you don't want to complicate my life or get in my way?"

"You've been in Boston for one day. You have to experience being free to explore what it's like to be away from home and on your own. Meet other men--younger men closer to your age."

"Are you brushing me aside?' I asked, feeling my heart pounding.

"No," he answered, taking my hand. "I'm not brushing you off. If anything I want to bring you closer by letting you go."

"Letting me go?" I blurted out. "I don't get it," I said, stunned by his words.

"Life has more imagination than the mind," he said, rubbing the back of my hand as he held it with his other hand.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked, confused and still feeling I was being rejected.

"It means you have to live and see where life takes you," he said, calmly. "Let the path unfold and take it one step at a time."

"I'm doing that. I left my town where I was a prisoner and came to Boston and I met you on my first day. I still can't believe it and now you are telling me you think I should meet other men. Why?"

He nodded, his blue eyes looking into mine, seeing how upset and confused I was.

"Why would you want me to meet other men unless you are not happy with me and this is your way of brushing me off, taking advantage of me and then saying you're letting me go for my own good. It feels like you are pushing me away."

"I understand you feel I am brushing you off, but I'm not," he said. "I can see what a good hearted, wonderful person you are. I would be a fool to brush you off, but you need freedom. You have been in a prison all of your life. It's time for you to feel free, meet other men, fuck them, go places, get a job, experience the world." He paused.

Tears swelled up in my eyes, my throat ached as I tried not to cry. I heard his words but at that moment, he was all I wanted to experience. I was trembling and did not want to leave the bed and at the same time I wanted to run away. I was angry that he did not want to possess me, that he didn't think enough of me to keep me, make him his, that he wanted me to be with other men. Why? Why was he doing this to me?

"Don't be upset, Molly?" he said, looking into my eyes. "Believe me, this is for the best."

Suddenly, I sat up then pushed myself out of bed, quickly found my skirt, my bra, my blouse. I held back my tears and then my words burst out before I could stop them, "I HATE YOU!"

I quickly got dressed, picked up my shoes and bolted for the door. I turned to him. "I HATE YOU!"

I ran down the hall and up the stairs to my apartment. I was sobbing. It was early in the morning and no one was up. I opened my door and slammed it shut, half hoping he would have followed me, try to stop me, but he didn't. I wanted him to keep me. I was shaking and somehow wanted to make him want me. I would show him. I would hurt him like he was hurting me. I was determined.

Later, after taking a shower, I tried to sleep but couldn't. All I could think of was Jesse and what a bastard he was for brushing me off after seducing me. I glanced at my digital clock and saw it was eight-thirty and decided to get dressed and go to the coffee shop up the street, get a paper and start job hunting. I needed a job and I wanted Jesse to know I didn't need him. I would snub him, show him how much I hated him for hurting me. "I'll show him," I said as I got dressed in my tight jeans and tiny tank top. I combed and fluffed out my hair and liked how sexy I looked.

When I walked outside, Jesse was coming out of the alley carrying two trash cans to the curb. I saw his eyes looking up and down my body, obviously liking what he saw but he didn't make a move to come towards me. I turned away, barely looking at him and walked in the opposite direction towards the coffee shop. I knew he was looking at me and I liked that. I wanted him to know what he was losing, but I was not going to give him an inch. I was determined not to let him hurt me again. I would make him want me and then not give in to him. No way would I let myself be vulnerable again. I wanted him to see me with other men, wondering if I was fucking them, making him jealous and know he lost me by brushing me off. How could he want me to fuck other men and not be his? I was furious and determined to hurt him.

********

I walked into a café up the street called, "The Coffee Club." I looked around, noticing it was nicely furnished with small wooden tables, some of them round, some square with two chairs lined against the brick wall. There were couches and soft chairs with magazines. It was still early but the café was crowded with business men on cell phones, college students, women dressed in smart suits, others in skirts and blouses, many in jeans or slacks. Some people had computers and others listened to their I-pods. It was busy with the subdued buzz of conversations and the jazzy music playing in the background. Several men looked up as I walked by their tables towards the counter. Obviously my tight jeans and skimpy tank top were catching eyes and I liked that.

I went up to the counter and looked up at the big black board on the wall that listed all kinds of coffees--espresso, cappuccino, lattes and on and on--things I had heard of but never had. I didn't know what to order when the dark haired girl behind the counter asked, "What can I get you?"

I looked up at the board then back at her, noticing the small gold stud in her nose and at least six tiny earrings in a row on her ear. She smiled at me while I thought.

"So many choices," I said.

"Yeah, there are," she answered, nodding.

"Just a regular coffee," I said, still too upset with Jesse to think.

"To go or for here," she asked, looking at me with a slight smile. I think she was looking me over which made me feel funny.

"For here," I responded.

"Cool," she answered. "A mug is a dollar-twenty five but you can have a refill for another quarter."