Northern Light

Brad felt her begin to pull away and instinctively touched the back of her head, gently touching his nose to hers. He could feel her hands trembling on his face.

"It's okay," he whispered, trying to allay her guilty conscience, as well as his own. "Stay with me." He had a feeling she would suddenly feel a need to end it—and he wasn't ready for it to end.

"Brad," she whispered.

"I know. This is weird, isn't it? Are you freaked out?"

"I don't know what to do!"

"Don't move," he gently commanded. "Just stay with me." Neither of them wanted to pull away. They sat for a moment, holding each other.

At length, he kissed her softly. "It's okay. Tell me you love me."

"You know I do."

"We're okay; I promise," he said reassuringly.

The scuffing sound of footsteps on the rocks fifty feet away and brief glints of a flashlight hopping around the rocks and surrounding trees alerted the two they were not alone. A pair of soft voices became audible. Lori guiltily took her hands off her son's face as they both looked toward the dancing flashlight beam.

"There they are," said Julia.

"Did you see anything?" asked Jayden, Julia's youngest son.

"Good ones!" Brad called back. The reality of family interaction felt very strange as they sat there, still facing each other.

"Keep your light off, Jayden, so you don't blind anybody," advised Julia.

Lori spread the blanket out to make room for everybody. "The best thing is to lie on your back and look in the direction of the lake," she told her nephew while attempting to calm her voice.

Lori and her sister chit chatted about activities for tomorrow while they casually kept an eye on the sky. While she talked with her sister, she couldn't stop thinking about the feel of her son's tongue in her mouth and on her neck. The wetness in her spandex shorts had continued to increase, even after they'd been forced to stop. She was both thankful and resentful that her sister showed up when she did, abruptly putting an end to their passion, which had been rapidly growing out of control.

After having their fill of the meteor shower for one night, the four of them eventually walked back to the campsite together to turn in for the night. Brad and Lori walked over to his tent and into the light spilling out from the camper. They hadn't spoken a word to each other. They exchanged glances, preparing to say goodnight. The mood was heart-achingly awkward. Lori tried to force herself to say something, but nothing would come out. She gave him a peck on the cheek and disappeared into the camper.

Monday: Venus

The following day found Brad and his mom separated for most of it. They exchanged a quick, awkward hello around the breakfast campfire before Lori headed out for a day of shopping in Sudbury with her sisters, and Brad took his excited nephews on a long hike. Lori felt some relief at not having to face Brad all day, though she wanted to talk to him. Brad thought of nothing but her on his hike, running the night over and over again in his mind, confused and wondering how she felt.

They both knew they needed to talk, but just like the first night, family obligations intruded.

Being alone—at least in the way they needed—was impossible, but Brad made sure she sat near him that night as the family talked around the campfire. He pulled her towards him and deposited her at his feet, leaning her head and shoulders against his calves. The Venusian light of the evening star shone through gaps in the trees like a temptress, beckoning him to follow her into the woods. He casually put a hand on the back of the goddess's head, caressing her scalp with his fingernails, gently tickling her neck, or rubbing her shoulders, silently communicating his secret feelings while they both listened to the family laughter.

Lori felt electric tingles race up and down her spine every time Brad touched her. She had no idea what to think of their moment last night, or what was going through his mind now as he caressed her. Perhaps it was just a passing phase and would go away? She knew that would be for the best, but deep down, where she could barely admit it, she hoped that wasn't true.

The aunts and kids gradually meandered to bed, giving Brad hope that he would get some alone time with his mom, but his uncles were not tired, and sat by the fire sipping beer and chatting until Brad thought he would scream. They were showing no signs of turning in. At last he gave up on talking to her. It would have been awkward for both of them anyway. Maybe it was time to just let it go—chalk it up to a hormone-charged mistake. "I'm tired," he grumbled. "I'm going to bed."

He leaned over to her, expecting to kiss her on the cheek. To his surprise, Lori turned her head and got a kiss on the lips just at the last moment. "Good night," he said after a pause.

"Good night," she replied, even though she really didn't want to part company with him. But she couldn't think of anything to say that would keep him there, and instead watched him trudge off to his tent. She followed suit a moment later, heading to the camper, even though she wasn't very tired.

She lay down on her makeshift bed and stared into the darkness. She was finally alone for the first time today, and her thoughts were squarely on her son. The sweet touch of his hands on her tonight had left her incredibly aroused and tingling. She closed her eyes and tried to push the thought of it out of her mind. Her insides were nervously flittering about in a warm tremor. This feeling was not doing her any good. She needed to be strong.

Still awake a while later, she heard Caroline's husband, George creep in quietly and head to the bedroom in the back. Lori continued to lie restlessly and waited with a heavy heart for sleep to overtake her. At last, her mind began to let go of the lascivious feelings that were owning her. But just as she began to drift off, her brother-in-law shifted in his bed and began to snore.

Lori's eyes opened. "Not again," she quietly whispered to herself. Another night of this was going to be unbearable! She buried herself within the sleeping bag and squeezed the pillow down over her head. It was uncomfortable. It was hot. And it wasn't drowning out the snoring. "Oh please stop!" she thought to herself.

She had nowhere to go. Every camper was filled to capacity and she was just a hanger-on for this trip. She was lucky enough that Caroline and her husband had room for an extra person in their camper. There wasn't even room for Brad. Brad! She sat up on the makeshift bed, surprised that it took her so long to think of him. Would it be too awkward? Awkward or not, she was immediately comforted by the thought of being with him. She would be no good to anybody tomorrow if she was up all night because of the snoring. There, she talked herself into it.

Brad lay in his sleeping bag, frustrated and lonely, tired but unable to sleep. He knew he had to get the crazy thoughts of kissing his mother out of his head, but it felt so much like unfinished business that he was unable to put it to rest. He tossed and turned on the cold ground. It was the first time he'd had trouble sleeping the entire trip, despite the 10 kilometer hike he'd led today.

Suddenly he heard the aluminum door of the camper open and close softly and saw the shadow of a figure fall on the tent as the person outside passed in front of the camper's door light. Who was up at this late hour?

"Brad," he heard his mother whisper. "Brad, are you awake?"

He dove for the tent flap and unzipped it, peeking his head out. "Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "George is a terrible snorer."

Brad whispered a laugh. He well-knew George's reputation for snoring. He looked up at his mother and smiled. He wasn't even going to let her ask, unzipping the flap the rest of the way and holding it open for her.

Lori gave her son a bashful grin and crawled past him into the tent with her sleeping bag and pillow. "I'm sorry. I know this isn't a big tent."

"Perfect for two," he said, closing the flap back up. He moved his backpack out of the way and helped her spread out her sleeping bag next to his. They both sat on top of the soft insulated fabric. "I'm glad you're here," Brad said.

Lori smiled, relieved. She could see his beautiful face in the soft glow permeating the tent from the camper light outside. "Brad?" she asked.

"Mm hmm?"

"Do you want to talk?"

Brad nodded, although he didn't know what he would say.

"Baby, I'm not sure what happened last night. I feel foolish."

"Are you embarrassed that we kissed like that?"

Lori lunged at him and put her hand over his mouth. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "These thin walls have ears."

Brad looked around at the sleeping bags and pillows. If they were going to have to hunker down to talk, they might as well be comfortable. He made a decision about the sleeping arrangement and hoped his mom wouldn't mind. Unzipping his sleeping bag, he spread it out open so it took up the entire floor of the tent. He threw their two pillows on top of it and pointed. "Lie down," he quietly commanded.

Lori complied and put her head on her pillow. Brad unzipped the other sleeping bag and draped it over is mother like a blanket, then crawled in next to her, laying his head on his own pillow. He pulled the cover up over their heads, so they were snuggled inside the makeshift bed and somewhat insulated from sounds outside.

He got close to his mother to whisper to her. "Talk to me," he said.

"I don't...know what to say," she said, haltingly.

"You were saying I was the best kisser in the world?"

Lori covered her mouth to stifle her laugh. She nodded through the giggles. "Yes, baby!"

"That was the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me," he said.

"Me too!" she exclaimed. She hoped he didn't mean weird in a bad way. She looked at him pensively. "Are you okay?"

Brad nodded emphatically. "Are you?" he asked with a cringe.

Lori breathed in deeply through her nose and let it out. "I think so." The truth was, she was feeling better than she'd felt in months, but her conscience was blocking her from enjoying the feeling. "I don't know what to think. I feel like a terrible mother."

"You're the best mother there is," he said earnestly.

"No, a good mother would never kiss her son like that."

"Then I don't want a good mother. I want you."

"Oh, thanks!" she said sarcastically.

"You know what I meant," Brad said.

"I just don't know what came over me. It felt like we were in a dream."

"It was a really good dream," he countered, touching her hand under the covers.

"What are we supposed to do now?"

"How do you feel about kissing me again?" he asked.

Guilty surprise cascaded down her face. There was no way she could answer that question honestly.

"Brad, I—"

Brad met her lips with his and immediately began kissing her where they'd left off at the lake. The surprise Lori felt was almost immediately overtaken by the same lustful emotion that had driven her to slip her tongue into his mouth the first time. She pulled him into her with her hand behind his head and kissed him deeply. It felt so perfect and untainted Lori wondered why on earth she had wasted a whole day worrying about it! Brad was thinking the same thing. This is the real reason they'd wanted to be alone and had avoided being alone; there was no use denying it.

They lay quietly together and kissed for several minutes, no longer speaking. Lori felt like she was telling her son how much she loved him with every caress of their tongues, as though their kissing transcended any loving motherly gesture she had ever given him up to now. It felt good. It felt natural. She found herself hoping Brad would try to put a move on her, like a kid on a date. He was her son, but the idea began to consume her guilty mind.

As if on cue, Brad nudged her onto her back while kissing her neck, and half crawled onto her. He took a risk and gave into his lustful urge. He worked up to her ear and nibbled her earlobe gently before lightly whispering to her. "Can I go further?"

Lori felt the blood drain from her face. They were really doing this. But wasn't this the true reason why she'd "had" to sneak into his tent? Things would never be the same. Losing the relationship she had with her son was unthinkable, but the desire in her heart at that moment was overshadowing every other need.

"Brad," she whispered. "I love you."

He continued to caress her ear with his tongue and whispered softly to her, "I love you too, Mom. Let me show you."

Lori stifled a moan. The very sound of her son's voice speaking seductively to her was enough to cause a tremor in her womb. Ignoring it the best she could, she took a wheezy breath and tried to reply. "I'm afraid."

"Are you afraid I won't love you the same?"

"I'm afraid I won't love you the same," she corrected gently.

"We'll love each other more."

"Oh my god, baby," she cried, pulling his face back to her lips. Why did he keep saying the right things? She couldn't reason with him if he would melt her heart with every response. But her conscience demanded that she put her foot down. "We can't go very far with this, Brad," she asserted weakly. She knew it wasn't exactly putting her foot down. "Do you understand? I mean, kissing is one thing— "

"When was the last time you were with Dad?" he interrupted. Brad suddenly felt very aroused at forcing such a direct question about her sex life.

The shock of the question rippled through her body like a heavy rock tossed into a calm pond. She'd not been with Gary, or any other man for a shamefully long time. She had downplayed her loneliness and protected her heart by not dwelling on her relationship with her husband, pushing the thought of having sex and even being romantically loved out of her mind. She had been completely chaste during their estrangement and while divorce proceedings were finalized. Even after the divorce was final, she still hadn't totally emerged from her protective shell. She had been steadfastly faithful to her husband until now.

Brad's direct question forced her to admit her loneliness. She put her palm on her forehead and gave an embarrassed chuckle to mask her self-consciousness. "Oh god. It's been a long time. Months and months." In fact, it had been well over a year.

"And in all that time you've never wanted to be with another man?" he asked her.

Lori shook her head. "It would be like cheating on him."

"You're not cheating on him! He cheated on you!" Brad implored.

Lori's lips curled into a grimace and she bit her lip to keep from crying. She'd been so in love with Gary that even after he'd slighted her she couldn't find other men attractive. She'd kept inside her shell in the unconscious hope that maybe he'd come back. She knew it would never happen, but her heart would not let go of hope.

"I'm sorry," Brad said softly. The last thing he wanted to do was make her upset.

She looked at her attractive son. He didn't look like his dad. In fact, he took after her. His slender physique and cute nose were clearly inherited from her side of the family. He didn't look like any man she'd ever known. He was much more beautiful. He was much easier to love. She knew it was because he was her son, but something about him forced her to accept the affection that she would reject from any other man.

"Don't you think it's time you felt loved again?" he whispered quietly to her. He was being very forward and he knew it. Talking to his mother like this was giving Brad the most cherished heart-pounding euphoria. He could lie there and whisper sweet things in her ear all night.

Lori listened to his words echo in her head. She already felt loved by him. It was just a matter of accepting it. God, he was right! It was right there in front of her. He was offering a kind of love that she was afraid to take from anybody else. Her son was offering to satisfy her needs as a woman.

He kissed her cheek and touched his lips to her ear. "I'm here for you," he said gently.

"Brad," she whimpered. "I love you so much. You're perfect!" she whispered earnestly. "But we can't, baby." If only her son really knew what she wanted him to do to her!

"We won't," he reassured. "But, don't you think you need some attention? I have some to give you." He gave her the most tender, gentlest kiss yet, barely touching lips. Lori's resolve began to wane.

"Let me take care of you," he said, kissing her face. "Nobody has to know. This is between you and me. You know I love you," he whispered again in her ear. "It's me."

"Ohhh," she whimpered in a long, high-pitched note. He kissed down her neck and allowed his right hand to wander onto her tummy. He could feel her quivering with each breath. She was so fragile! He moved his hand very slowly on her, still tentative about touching his mother like this, but he wanted, needed to feel her body. He kissed her neck and caressed the soft skin with his nose while his hand steadily marched toward her supple breasts. Lori bit her lip in anticipation. He was moving so slowly it hurt!

At last his hand found her breasts. Lori stiffened up at his lascivious touch, her hard nipples feeling every crease of his fingers and palm over her t-shirt. "Brad," she said breathlessly.

He squeezed her lightly, eliciting an involuntary quiet moan from her. He massaged and rubbed one breast over the shirt while he kissed her gently, then slid his hand over to the other one. He hoped she would not stop him. His eyes gently caressed hers. "Is this okay?" he asked.

Lori didn't respond. Her son was feeling her tits. Of course it wasn't okay.

He kissed her again and squeezed them more firmly, rubbing the nipple through her shirt with his index finger. "Do you want me to stop?" he whispered.

Lori paused a moment. She didn't know the answer. She couldn't think. But her head involuntarily answered for her. She pleaded with his eyes as she shook her head, "No."

He slipped his hand under her shirt, moving steadily back up her bare skin to her breast. This time he felt her erect nipple with his fingers before cupping his mother's sweet fleshy mound in his palm. He slid his other hand under her shirt and discovered the other nipple was equally hard. He caressed them while he watched the expression on her face change from apprehension to bliss.

She wanted to tell him to stop, to push his arms out of her shirt. She needed to tell him his hands didn't belong there. She opened her mouth to protest. "Your hands feel so good," was what came out.

Brad could feel her heart beating as he worked her shirt up over her tits and left it there on her chest. He admired his mom's hard nubs, erect from the massage, her chest heaving slightly. Her tits were wonderfully round, if not a little smallish, but maintained their beautiful shape, even when lying on her back, even on her 43-year-old frame. Brad leaned down and did what comes naturally to a son with his mother.

The wet warmth of his mouth enveloped her left nipple. Lori watched him. She gazed at her son sucking on her breast with the attention a mother doe would to her fawn. It had been so long since he'd suckled Mommy's milk, but to Lori the sensation felt like it was just yesterday, giving herself to her little boy again. She caressed his hair as she watched him lustfully lap up her tender flesh. He moved to the other one, more eagerly. Lori closed her eyes and tossed her head back. Her body was reacting—just like it had so many years ago, when she didn't know what to do about the strange desire boiling up inside her, her swollen vagina glistening inside her panties while her son suckled her tender nipple.