Not Alone

I was sitting at my dorm room desk looking out the window and wondering if I should even bother going out. The bars shut down at 2:00 A.M. and it was already a quarter-to-one. If I had finished my final paper for my Third World Politics class a little bit earlier I'd have ventured out. But by now I knew everyone would be stupid-drunk and there was no way I'd have time to drink enough to catch up to them. I knew everyone would be at O'houlihans. A loud, sweaty bar jam packed with drunken idiots is fantastic if you're one of those drunken idiots. But when you show up late and sober it's damn near intolerable.

The snow that was falling outside started coming down harder and I decided it just wasn't worth it. I walked into the lounge and sat down in front of the television. I was going to play a videogame but then I thought better of it. I didn't want to be out in the lounge if Tammy came home alone and drunk. We had hooked up a couple times when we had both been drinking and each time I immediately regretted it. Neither one of us really liked each other. In fact, she liked my roommate Craig, and told me not to tell him what we had done. I had no problem with that. Tammy had few redeeming qualities and if I had told Craig what happened he would have probably laughed me out of the room.

I went back into my room, locked the door, and grabbed a beer from the mini-fridge. Listening to some music and drinking a few cold beers seemed like a good idea. Craig and his girlfriend Sarah were probably winding down a night of drunken debauchery and starting to think about heading back to her apartment. He was heading home for winter break the next day so it was their last chance to spend some quality time together. The rest of our suite would probably be headed to some after-hours party when the bars shut down. I was free to blare what ever tunes I wanted but I clicked on Radiohead's Kid A which sounds better with headphones anyway.

To avoid being distracted I had turned off instant messaging while I was writing my paper. At this time of night, with the semester pretty much over, there was little chance that I'd have any friends online. I turned it back on but, just as I suspected, I didn't see any names in my friends list. I took a sip of beer and sat back to let the music wash over me. Listening to Kid A with my headphones on was like traveling to another world. When I closed my eyes I was flying across extraterrestrial landscapes that seemed to shift and mutate with the sound. The music offered some solace for what seemed like a rather depressing evening alone.

I opened my eyes just as track 3 was kicking in. On the screen was an instant message box from LovelyUK. I had met her in a chat room called "Women Watching Guys Cum." Craig hardly ever went home for the weekend but when he did it was a rare opportunity. Finding the privacy to release pent up sexual energy is not easy when you live in a dorm. One weekend, when Craig was home, I took advantage of the privacy. I locked the door and started looking at some porn online. It wasn't long before my cock was in my left hand and I was typing with my right.

Soon I had moved into the chat rooms. I had never spent much time in chat rooms before but I was amazed by the amount of people who got naked on their webcams. I went into a few rooms where women were showing on their cams but they were only letting friends see. I scanned the choice of rooms and saw a room titled "Women Watching Guys Cum." I wondered how many women actually went into a room like that. It was probably one guy waiting for someone to come in and watch his cam. When I entered the room however, I saw it was practically full. I sat back and read what people were typing. A lot of women were saying they wanted to see some cock but I thought most of them were guys pretending to be girls. I started imagining what it would be like to stroke my cock for a bunch of strangers. It gave me a nervous feeling in my stomach but at the same time I felt my cock growing even harder at the prospect. I pointed my webcam between my legs and turned it on. In less then 30 seconds I had a request to view my cam. I thought, "No, I'll just turn off the camera." But, as I was reaching to switch it off, I suddenly changed my mind and allowed the person to view. I was literally shaking but I was also incredibly turned on. I clicked on the persons profile and it said her name was Anne and she was a 27 year old woman from San Diego but who was to say.

She typed, "Nice Cock!!! Keep stroking it." Then she just watched. Soon, I was getting requests to view popping up all over the screen. I allowed each one to view and kept stroking. The head of my cock was swollen and throbbing as I pumped it and thrust my hips towards the camera. I couldn't believe that I was doing this but it was making me so hot I didn't want to stop. People continued to urge me on and compliment me and before long I couldn't hold back any longer. I came as hard as I ever had before. Hot cum hit my chin and splattered across my chest. I milked every last drop out of my cock and then sat back in my chair. Suddenly I was incredibly embarrassed. I turned off the cam and grabbed a towel to clean up. Then I headed off for a much needed shower. In the shower I tried to rationalize what had happened. I told myself it was just a little experiment and that no one really knew who I was. In fact, there really didn't seem to be anything wrong with it at all. Still, I resolved that it would not happen again.

When I came back to the computer there was a message from LovelyUK thanking me and saying that I had really turned her on. I told her that she was very welcome and how I'd never done anything like that before. She asked me if I wanted to see how hot I'd made her and I almost told her thanks, but no thanks. I thought that the image I had of her in my mind would probably be better than the real thing. Or, I thought, when she turned her cam on she'd actually be a guy. Turned out I was dead wrong. When I accepted her offer to view, I saw that her camera was pointed at her beautiful teardrop shaped breasts. Then she aimed the camera between her legs and began fingering herself and slowly grinding her hips. I immediately felt myself getting hard again. Obviously this wasn't going to be a onetime thing. I turned on my camera and we started masturbating together for the first time. After we both came, we stayed online chatting and found out we both had a lot in common.

So now, whenever her instant message box popped up, I would feel something else starting to pop up. I was a bit surprised that she was online at this hour. It had to be almost six a.m. in London. I figured she must have been having one of her bouts of insomnia again. We started to chat for a bit.

LovelyUk: "Hey there! Not out at the pubs tonight?"

Porpoise6: "No, I was finishing my last paper. Why are you up so late?"

LovelyUK: "I couldn't sleep. I was just about to turn in and saw you online."

Porpoise6: "Same here."

LovelyUK: "I'm not keeping you am I?"

Porpoise6: "Never! lol"

LovelyUK: "Are you alone"

Porpoise6: "Yeah, roommate is at his g/f's."

LovelyUK: "Are you having a wank then, lol?"

Porpoise6: "No but I started to get hard when your box popped up!"

LovelyUK: "Gonna show me?"

Some times we would talk for hours before we played on cam. Other times we would get right to it. Since there was no chance of Craig coming home, I turned the camera on and put it right in front of my monitor. My clothes were off in a flash and then I put both legs up on the desk on either side of the monitor. I pointed the camera between my legs, knowing from experience that she like that angle. I turned the camera on and started stroking my cock.

LovelyUK: "Blimey that's a big one!"

She said the same thing every time and it always brought a smile to my face. I'm sure that it was her standard line. Proper etiquette dictates that if someone gets naked for you on cam you should have something nice to say. I don't care if it's a 300 pound woman or a 4 inch guy. Her line amused me because I had never heard anyone use the word "blimey" outside of books, movies, or cartoons. Her invitation to view her cam came up on screen and I clicked on it. The camera was pointed at her neatly shaved snatch and she was rubbing one finger back and forth across her clit.

Porpoise6: "You are so fucking hot!"

That was pretty much my standard line when ever she turned her camera on. It was always typed with the utmost sincerity. Every time she came up on my computer screen it seemed like a miracle to me. First of all, the mere fact that she would allow me to witness such a thing was an amazing gift. And secondly, I couldn't get over the fact that I was masturbating with someone on the other side of the world. What a world!

LovelyUK: "You truly have a beautiful cock. God I'd love to suck it!"

Porpoise6: ", Thanks! I'd love to have my face buried in your muff!"

LovelyUK: "Honestly, most cocks are not very pretty."

Porpoise6: "Well, I think they probably look better when they're hard."

LovelyUK: "A lot of the time when I'm camming I'm actually just looking at myself. Sometimes I'm fantasizing about a woman sucking my clit and fingering me."

The anonymity of the situation allowed us to confess things that we'd never say to anyone face to face. At least I wouldn't have. I don't know what she told her friends or her lovers. I know that I typed things to her that I never told anyone.

Porpoise6: "Sometimes I think about sucking a cock while I'm doing it."

I heard laughter behind me and realized that I wasn't alone. Craig and Sarah had come into the room and I never heard them because of the headphones. I grabbed my t-shirt from off the floor and put it in my lap to cover my hard-on. I was absolutely mortified. It was one thing to jerk off for strangers who would never see your face. It was another thing completely to be walked in on. That had never happened to me before. I could only hope that they hadn't read what was on the screen. And you would think that once they realized what was going on they would have left. Instead, they stood there hanging on to each other, laughing like a couple of drunks and then crashed onto Craig's bed.

I logged off with out any explanation to Lovely and then turned my chair to face the two lushes on the bed.

"Ok, I know it's all extremely hilarious but don't you think you could give me a fucking minute to get dressed?" I asked.

"Go ahead, no one's stopping you," laughed Craig.

I put my boxers and t-shirt back on. "Why are you guys even here?" I asked accusingly,as if this was all their fault. In a way it was. Don't most people get embarrassed and close the door when they walk in on something like that?

"The furnace burnt out at her place," Craig said. "It's fucking freezing there."

"We really are sorry," Sarah laughed. "You can go ahead and finish up if you need to." She was obviously lit.

"You two are wasted," I said.

"Because it looks like you have some work to do," she giggled and the two of them burst out laughing.

I looked down and realized I was still pretty hard. I walked over to my bed and got in. "I'm going to bed you fucking drunks," I said. "Good night." I pulled the covers up and rolled over to face the wall.

"You do see the humor in the situation though, don't you?" Craig asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure we'll all be able to laugh at it tomorrow, along with everyone else you guys tell," I answered.

"We'll keep it to ourselves," Sarah Promised.

"I somehow doubt that," I said.

"Well, it's not like you've been discrete about what you've seen," Sarah responded.

She had a point. Junior year, before she was off campus, she would spend the night in our room on occasion. At first I would leave to give them some time alone and they'd let me know when they were finished. But a few times they fell asleep and never got around to telling me if it was safe to come back inside. I would come in and go to bed and they'd both be lying there naked. Usually they were under the covers but not always. I remember the first time I came in and the lights were out. They were both asleep. Craig was lying on his back and Sarah was curled up against him with their legs entwined. I got an erection the instant I saw them and was unable to sleep most of that night. I was awake when she got up to dress. I acted like I was asleep but I don't think that I had fooled her. In my defense, I only told one person about what I had seen but soon the whole floor new.

Soon after that incident, they took to hooking up in the bed across from me when they come home especially drunk. It used to drive me crazy, especially since I wasn't getting much at the time. Sarah really was gorgeous. She had shoulder length blonde hair and beautiful green eyes. Her breasts were perfect C cups and her nipples were soft pink. The three of us had grown pretty comfortable with each other and Craig had taken to saying things like, "Give him a little flash, he hasn't had any in weeks."

One night we were having a party in our suite's lounge and a few people started playing strip poker. I was on the phone in our room talking to a friend when all of a sudden she walked in with nothing on and sat on my lap. She took the phone from my hand and, in her drunken voice, started telling my friend what a wonderful guy I was. I know she felt my erection through my pants but she stayed there for a good five minutes talking on the pone.

"And besides," I said, "me seeing you naked is nowhere near being the same as you guys walking in on me beating off."

"You're overreacting," Sarah answered.

The light turned off and I rolled over in time to see Sarah's naked body getting into bed next to Craig. She looked over at me. "Ok, listen...I promise that what ever was seen or heard in this room tonight will not be repeated."

"Thank you," I laughed.

"That goes for you too though," she said and I told her that that sounded fair.

The two of them were messing around under the bed and Sarah let out a little shriek and started laughing. I took this as my cue to roll back over and give them some sort of privacy. I heard Craig moan with pleasure. I tried not to touch myself when they were having sex next to me. I don't like not being able to jump up and clean myself off when I'm through. But sometimes I couldn't help it. Tonight, after everything that had happened, it seemed like it was going to be unavoidable. I started grinding my hips into the bed a little bit.

"Trust me dude, you have to start getting out and meeting some women," Craig said. "Blowjobs are so much better than beating your meat in front of your computer."

From under the covers in a muffled voice I heard Sarah say, "You're going to be beating your meat if you don't shut up!"

I heard them moving around on the bed and then Craig's voice saying, "Hey! Why are you stopping?"

Sarah must have been giving him a look because after a while I heard Craig say, "Ok...OK I'm sorry." She must have still been giving him a look because after a few more seconds I heard him say to me, "I'm sorry dude, everyone does it."

"No, I know what you mean. It was just too late to get out by the time I'd finished that paper."

They were quite for a bit. I heard some whispering but I couldn't quite make it out. I thought I heard Craig ask her what she was doing.

"Scott, look at me," I heard Sarah ask.

I turned back towards them and saw that they had cast the covers off. Craig was seated up against the headboard and Sarah was on her stomach with her head between his legs. They always kept the covers on when they went at it. I was pretty shocked. "Are we even now?" She asked.

I nodded.

She slowly licked his shaft from base to head. I had never seen Craig's erection before. He was about seven inches and pretty thick. I looked at his face but his eyes were closed and he was softly moaning.

Sarah licked his shaft a few more times and then took his head into her mouth. Her eyes were watching me as she slid his cock halfway in and stroked the base with her hand. She stopped for a minute and his cock slapped back against his stomach. She laid her cheek right on it and looked over at me.

"Scott...you really think you'd like to suck a guys cock?" she whispered.

I couldn't believe it. She must have read what was on the screen before I had turned the monitor off. "I don't know," I said. "You just say things online sometimes."

"So you were just making that up?" she asked.

I looked over at Craig. His eyes were open and he was looking at me. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. "I've fantasized about it once or twice," I said. "But I'm not gay or anything."

"I don't think that means you're gay," Craig said.

Sarah looked at Craig and said, "I think it's fucking hot. Every other girl on campus is bi these days,but no guy ever admits to anything like that." She kissed the head of Craig's cock.

"What about you? Do you ever fantasize about girls?" I asked.

"I made out with Gina Brooks at a party once," she said. "I sucked on her breasts also. I liked it. I just have a problem with guys expecting you to put a show on with another girl if you admit to that type of thing." And then suddenly, "Have you ever masturbated to a guy?"

"No, that I haven't done," I said.

"You're lying," Craig said. "I've been on your computer, remember? When mine was down I had to use yours for my paper. I saw some interesting sites in your history."

"What are you the gay police?" I asked. "Ok, I have jerked off to a guy once or twice. I can't believe I'm admitting this." I'd never told anyone about having feelings like that.

"I'll tell you something I've never told anyone except Craig before." Sarah said. "I fantasize about seeing a guy suck him off."

I looked over at Craig. "And just how did you respond to that one?" I asked, laughing.

"I told her I doubted that would ever happen," Craig laughed. "But then again I owe her."

"You owe her for what?" I asked.

"For letting me watch her mess around with Gina," he answered.

Sarah began slowly sliding Craig's shaft in and out of her mouth again. "Does it turn you on to have me watch?" I asked.

She looked at me and nodded her head, smiling. "Are you going to help me or not?" she asked.

I looked over at Craig and he just raised his eyebrows. I was short of breath and my whole body was shaking. My nerves were not affecting my cock though. A lot of people say they always new they were gay or straight or bi. I always thought that I was straight. But one night, my sophomore year of college, I had a dream where a high school acquaintance and I were sitting naked on a couch and lazily stroking each other. In the dream it felt amazing and I was perfectly content to be there. When I woke up I felt really conflicted about but it. I knew that these types of dreams didn't mean that you were gay, but it was still unnerving. I tried to put it out of my mind but over the next few days my thoughts would return to the dream and I'd find myself getting aroused. Since then I would occasionally masturbate to orgasm while thinking about guys. I was still definitely more attracted to girls but the window had been opened.

Was I really going to do this? Despite the way I knew it would make things weird between us, I knew that it was what I really wanted. I took a deep breath and got out of bed. I pulled my t-shirt over my head and slid my boxers down. With my eyes on Sarah face and Craig's cock, I walked over to their bed. I kneeled down on the floor at his hips. She ran her hand through my hair and kissed me lightly on the lips. His cock was fully erect and twitching.

"Just give it a little kiss," said Sarah.

I gave the sensitive area underneath the head of his prick a kiss. My lips lingered there for a second and then I put my tongue against it. For some reason I was afraid to look at Craig's face. I looked toward Sarah who was smiling encouragingly.