Notes of a Fastidious Woman

Weds. at his flat, I had remembered to wear stockings not tights - I did wonder, suspender belt? but he did not say anything when he saw my legs. I do not have a suspender belt but gather considered Erotic.

We laid on bed naked & he got on one elbow & said, 'Put your hands under your breasts & present them to me.' Apparently this is exciting. & he played with & sucked etc., then without saying a word began to kiss lower & lower, & past my navel. So I thought he wanted to look and touch, & was not surprised when asked to open my legs. He stopped kissing and did look at me down below, he said again how beautiful I was. But all of a sudden he kissed me there. Just a gentle one, almost just brushing with his lips, but a thrill shot right through that part of me, which must be psychology because physically it was less than last Weds. (fingers). Then passionate kisses and doing things with his tongue & I did find myself wanting it to go on, so nearly said, 'Please stop.' Especially as this was exactly one of the unwanted Thoughts I had had in my 'homework'. But I remembered, should not mess him about as I had asked for him to please himself & I think he was really doing so - i.e. he was not forcing himself to do it with the aim of seducing me onto the slippery slope to a lifetime of debauchery, which of course could well be a danger with men of his type.

He stopped & lay beside me. He said, obviously he could go on & I would probably have a Climax but what I must do next would definitely not appeal to me if my flames of desire were allowed to flare up & burn out in a blaze of glory (not his words, but nicer if made poetic). Then an unwanted wish came, 'A Climax (even in that way) must be thrilling,' so I was glad of the distraction when he said to do the thing he likes to his Testicles with my hand - until he said also to do the same as last Weds. to his erect part but with my lips and tongue.

Even though I have resolved I must plumb the depths of physical depravity, when I put my face near his masculinity I felt I could not. Above all I do not believe I am that sort of person. But he put a hand on the back of my head and raised his Erection in his other hand to my lips, & when the Glans brushed against them I closed my eyes and surrendered to his will. (It tasted of live body, not strong, he had washed just before.) I must have done it quite well because a sort of ecstasy came over him. He was propped on cushions & told me how he loved watching me doing this. Also he fondled my front, when not feeling my behind cheeks.

Next I was to take the Glans right in my mouth & literally suck it, and move skin on shaft up and down at same time with hand. By now I had no will of my own, so did, & thought a good idea to use tongue also, & actually made him moan aloud, which I think Cynthia would call a triumph. I admit it gave me psychological pleasure, of exploration of pure masculinity. Then the inevitable happened with it in my mouth, but in the event not as bad as I had feared, the taste not repulsive. And this way does have the major plus of avoiding mess. He said, if I could bear to, please to swallow the spurted stuff, which with an effort I did, & could do more easily if called upon in future.

He had provided water in a tumbler, and I also wiped with tissues, including my tongue.

He explained people sometimes do both to each other at once.

As about to leave, I said, prefer postpone next Weds. (time of month, but didn't say) & he said, 'Fine, may be best if two weeks using this anyway,' & handed me a parcel. He said I was to continue with my 'homework' as last week but at the same time use what was in the parcel, and if the instructions were not clear (he had not opened it, arrived at last minute & still in its Mail Order wrapping) to find out by going on line. I was intrigued though not without foreboding & fortunately had good sense not to open on the coach home as the coach is always full & no privacy. I am writing this while all fresh in mind & will open parcel next.

*

'This is precisely the attitude I find off-putting,' said Gilbert to Amanda, over Sunday lunch at Annabel's flat. (Annabel is a woman Gilbert regularly has sex with; but she insists they are not a couple. Amanda is her large and over-bubbly cousin.)

'He has a point,' said Annabel. 'Even a purely sexual relationship has an ethical side.'

Amanda said, 'You're just a couple of prudes.'

'You may be right that Elaine is narrow-minded and puritanical, but she's put her trust in me and I'm trying not to exploit her. Not more than she's asked me to, anyway.'

'You could exploit her a little bit more. I don't see how making her swallow your come a couple more times could do any harm.'

'You're only suggesting it because you think she doesn't like it. You want me to humiliate her.'

'Why would I want that?'

'Because,' said Annabel, 'of Miss Bagholt.'

'Who is she?' asked Gilbert.

'An extremely obnoxious French teacher I suffered under,' Amanda explained. 'She victimised me. She was jealous of my sex appeal.'

Annabel said, 'She objected to you entertaining your friends at the back of the class by demonstrating how you could pop a ping-pong ball out of your cleavage. Her approach to teaching French may have been old-fashioned, but you must admit that having ping-pong balls bouncing off the ceiling during a session on irregular verbs is a distraction.'

'There was still no need to persecute me for the next three terms.'

'I suggest that there was.'

'I see,' said Gilbert. 'You think I should satisfy your lust for revenge against Miss Bagholt by using Elaine as a proxy. Don't you think that's rather childish?'

'They're the same sort of person. The sort of person who should be given a dose of their own medicine. The way that woman hounded me -'

'Then there was the time you put a penis-shaped bookmark in her textbook, and it fluttered onto the floor in front of the school inspector.'

'That, I humbly admit, was more by luck than judgement. I only meant to shock her. In any case, nobody should be convicted without evidence. There was nothing to link me to the crime. My two-hour detention was a miscarriage of justice.'

'I thought it was remarkably lenient.'

'Annabel,' said Gilbert, 'if you've ever worried that Amanda would take your place, this is why your fears were groundless. I could never be intimate with anyone so vindictive. By the way, Amanda, can you still do the thing with the ping-pong ball?'

*

Note on Parcel Contents

Items in parcel had no instructions & just said 'See Web Site' in seven languages, & product names were in Chinese, which I believe is a hazard of ordering On Line. The things are: a squirting device (i.e. a tube with a bulb); a plastic bottle of clear slippery stuff; a pack of disposable latex gloves, as used by doctors; and four firm black rubbery things in different sizes, smallest about as thick as my thumb. Took all to Cynthia at first opportunity.

She only said, 'Let's do as it says and take a look at the web site, shall we?' but I had impression she was amused, which made me uncomfortable. We drew up chairs at her lap top & found product nos. on web site.

Product nos. led us to videos, thank goodness not Explicit, only instructions spoken by cheerful young woman (English), clothes smart casual, displaying the products on a table. Purpose of items was explained.

Could not believe ears. I asked, 'Do people really do it in that place?'

'The Continental Alternative? Certainly. I believe it's very popular in some quarters.'

Me: 'So - the bulb thing is for inside cleansing with warm water - but the rubbery things...?'

'To develop your capacity. Start with smallest & work up. Most considerate of G. to supply the things, including the douche and gloves, which I gather the majority do without. He obviously understands you. Or he feels the same way about hygiene as you do.' Did not dare ask whether she had done it, but luckily she said, 'Never done it myself, but many have asked. Doesn't appeal - tastes differ.' Many asked! But at least she refused.

'Must I do it?'

'Not at all, because G. is a gentleman & will not insist. But I say you must, because good to have plenty strings to your bow.'

Note on Third Wednesday

Texted G. Weds a.m. to say I must arrive early (to get myself clean). He said OK, he will alert neighbour (who has spare key) & I can let myself in as his work-from-home is only afternoon. The cleaning takes time.

While alone in flat made search for signs of depravity but found none, so conclude that his life is not wholly dedicated to it.

In bed he asked, had I used the things in the box? (He called them Sex Toys.) I said Yes. He: 'How big a one did you manage by yesterday?' It was biggest one but he was not sure how big that was. He told me to manually make his maleness completely stiff, & say if he was thicker than the biggest one.

'About the same.'

Next question, had it hurt me?

'Not really, but the things stretched me, so at first I thought they were about to, but did it very slowly & left each one in until more relaxed, and all OK and by Monday no difficulty.' (All this was as per the young lady's instructions.)

He was relieved. He had meant to say previous Weds., to stop if it hurt. Then, asked had I had pleasure using the things? I did not like to say. He: 'Then you did enjoy it, because you would not hesitate to say No.'

'A little pleasure at first, but when I touched myself at the front got more.' Thought I had better put him fully in the picture & I made myself divulge, 'At the back. Strong sensations.'

He did not say anything to this, but only kissed my cheek, & then breasts for a little while & then went down to my private parts. He kneeled in between my legs and I just had to let him kiss and lick, & I became very stimulated.

He said to give him one of his pillows, & he tucked it under my behind so hips raised. Then, 'Feel under my other pillow & give me what's there.' It was a bottle of the gel stuff as had been in the parcel, and also a disposable latex glove, so I guessed exactly what he was going to do. I was so very stimulated in my female parts I actually wanted him to do it, & had forgotten about being fastidious, though I did have the fastidious thought, 'It's good about the glove.'

I had to fold up my legs with my hands behind my knees, knees almost to my chest. Of course this was to make access easy to everything down below & he lay with his face close. Squirted gel (quite a lot) between the 2 openings down there, then with finger (gloved) moved gel down to the behind hole & teased the outside, while my front part he licked, & I actually had the plan, 'If I make that hole behind not resist it will encourage him in further,' so tried to relax it. I do not think I am becoming depraved as I had forgotten my normal self. I will only forget myself within marriage in the longer term.

My plan worked & soon he was tempted to push his finger up my behind & while he did it he said the hole felt soft & he would do more, but I was to say if it hurt & he would stop at once. So then it was two fingers, in-and-out movement, and it did not hurt in the least and then three. All this time he was licking intimate front parts & my head was in a whirl. I said something - I do not remember what, it was almost as if my voice came from another plane. He stopped licking and said, 'OK, I'll do it now.' He kneeled up and took off the glove, which was perfectly clean but he rolled it off inside-out anyway, which I approved of, and dropped in waste paper basket by bed. He said to feel under my pillow, & there was a Durex in its packet. He said to put it on him, & kneeled by me & showed me how (it must be got the right way or will not unroll). When it was on him I had to put some gel on it & spread it all over his stiffness, & I suddenly had new thought, of how sturdy and full of fine masculinity it looked. To admit the truth my fingers were trembling with anticipation.

I lay on my front & he on top & I surrendered utterly, he told me to spread my behind-cheeks with my hands, hard, to open myself as much as I could, and very slowly but firmly pushing his stiffness into the behind hole, & this opened me more & more and his stiffness began to go up inside, and I began to feel very stretched by his thickness but I did not mind & in fact had psychological pleasure thinking of a big manhood going in there. So, the upshot was I could accommodate him in there with pleasure physical and psychological & he reached round and under, and rubbed my front sensitive part, which all seemed to elevate me so I thought, 'They must have this in Heaven,' which before I would have rejected but in fact I do think it must be so, or something that feels like it, because I could not imagine there is a greater Bliss than what I was feeling. The Bliss increased & increased until the flames of pleasure flared up to great heights, utter consummation & indescribable, my behind hole sharing in the pleasure, and then gently died down. As it died down I felt his great manhood (I do not know if it is exceptionally large, but naturally it felt like it when in there owing to nature of hole) pulsing & knew he had also reached fulfilment just after me.

After, he said it was my Climax had made him do likewise. He is excited by them.

Preparing that part of myself so it is clean & hygienic almost seems to turn it into something else, something made for what he did to me. I could not do it otherwise & if get husband back will plan how to fit special hygiene into ordinary domestic routine as think I will want to do it at regular intervals. I believe I score a point even over Cynthia, in pleasing a man, because of the way this comes naturally to me.

Next Weds. is the last. When I was ready to go G. said he thought 'homework' had served its purpose & I could stop. But in fact will continue because one must keep in form.

Notes on Final Wednesday

Slightly dreading seeing G. as 'homework' has caused many thoughts of a sexual nature to bubble up over recent weeks & must summon up courage to speak to him about them, ask whether exciting for men etc. as they had shown there are things I was still in the dark on. In fact there might be much information to take in as I wanted a final full run-down if possible.

Reminder to self: order more slippery stuff. I dare say a really big bottle will work out cheaper in long run.

Explained about sexual thoughts to G, and luckily he seemed to guess very quickly. He was interested in all & said he had done some & enjoyed. He said, on the question of doing it the normal way but with one of the Sex Toy things in the behind part of me, he advised broach all 'bottom' things cautiously to husband. He said my idea of taking husband's manhood in my mouth with my bust pushed up to please his Testicles between them, well worth trying. There were other things, will not list all. Says I have 'good sexual imagination'.

It was all food for thought.

I asked, 'I suppose today you will satisfy yourself by using my body the normal way?' as that is what we had not done yet. He said Yes, but explore positions.

We did each position for just a little while and no climax, to give me the idea. The last one was, he lay back and ordered me to kneel over him, and me introduce his manhood into myself. He said men like sometimes to relax and have women do sex to them, or even she dominate him. So did as husband had requested all that time ago, it seems nothing now & was a mistake to ever refuse. (This shows my brush with adultery, perversion etc. has been successful.) I was in control, so tables were turned and he could not stop me, and my head was in a whirl so neither could I, and I felt his fulfilment in me all of a sudden.

He apologised because he had very much wanted me to end with a climax, as this the last Weds., and asked whether I would wait for him to get stiff again.

What I did next was justified because he had instructed me I should sometimes show initiative. I asked, should I show him how much I had learned? He said, yes please. In an imperious tone I responded that he was to stay in bed to wait at my pleasure. So I went to bathroom, and in due course was ready.

I went back in (he was patiently reading) and told him to close his eyes and I might surprise him. There is a drawer by his bed which I guessed had Durex, which it did, and I manually, plus a little orally, excited all his maleness until fully stiff and put a Durex on it. The slippery stuff was there too, and I put much on, and he had a sort of quietly delighted smile. I said quite sternly, 'You mustn't do anything until I tell you. You will let me show you I have been a good learner,' which was a sort of dominance which I think he liked, and I definitely liked, because I had been so subject to his will up to then. And then I kneeled over him again but I commanded him to hold my bottom-cheeks apart (his hands there felt manly and exciting on my softness) and this time I introduced his great manhood very slowly in stages up the other hole (I had prepared it in the bathroom having brought the douche 'just in case'), and I relaxed the hole eagerly and straight away had joyous sensations as he stretched me, and soon, Bliss, and used his thick stiffness for my delight for as long as I wanted, and I seemed to succeed in my aim of enhancing his heavenly pleasures through witnessing my arousal. Much of the time he was contemplating the rhythmic bouncing of my bosom with great lust, but I uttered involuntary panting & moaning which seemed to stimulate him, and I think I actually said something about 'my big bad bum-bum', until I desired full consummation and ordered him to stroke my sweetest part with his fingers and all was the pinnacle of rapture for both as I had the satisfaction of feeling his manly fluid climaxing into me at the exact same moment, right up inside the place where two weeks ago I didn't even know people did it!

(My bottom is not really all that big.)

I had evidently pleased him successfully, so I do not think it was wrong, greatly though I enjoyed it. In fact he said I had 'turned into a brilliant lover', and deserved another climax as a reward, but this I politely declined.

Being the last of the four Wednesdays I had to remind myself that physical pleasure must not take over my life & I had a more important end in sight. He had helped me no end but I don't expect to see him again, unless superficially at Cynthia's. I asked one last thing, which was, any advice on seducing my husband back into bed? He said, 'I must confess I have been behind your back.'

To this I replied, 'You certainly have!' which made us both laugh. But he meant that he had been in touch with Cynthia and asked her about my husband (whom she has met several times) - could she take a guess at how I might gain allure for him?

He had pondered her reply and the upshot is, a parting present of a certain dress. He found it on the web site whence he got the Toys. It is long and red, and rather low at the front, but the special feature is, tight around the hips and a long, long v-shaped slit from the shoulders down to just above the woman's behind, then a button (which he says if I wore the dress, any man would be tempted to undo) then an oval hole created by the button, just to make a peep-hole to give a view of the top of the behind cleavage. G. said, 'It's a pretty strong hint.'

*

'Before you ask, Annabel, no, I didn't give her one of your questionnaires. She'd have thought it strange.'

Annabel is a keen amateur sexologist, and is collecting data for her Open University thesis. 'It's so frustrating. A woman who takes to anal sex so readily, with no discomfort - she's like gold dust for my research. How do you know she preferred it to vaginal?' Annabel looked up from her notepad with her pen poised.