Nothing Left To Lose

This is my first submission to Literotica. I also extend my sincerest apologies to NTRmaster for hijacking his "Reunited" series, in my foolish attempts to offer some smidgen of resolution to the pathetic life of Terence.

*****

My name is Terence, but most would just know me as the cuckold wimp that people could push around, humiliate and ruin.

His name was Todd. But I just remember him as the asshole bastard motherfucker who ruined my life.

Amy, Angela, and Lisa. They were beautiful women who used to emotionally mean something to me. I pictured a life of bliss and contentment with each and every one of them, at different points in my life. They each meant something to me, a ray of hope, a glimmer of happiness that I thought could grow into something long-lasting and strong. I pictured having children and grandchildren with them.

Not anymore. God and Todd saw to that.

---

My mistake was thinking I could be better than Todd. My mistake was thinking that I could stand up to him and prove I was the better man. My mistake was thinking that I could face him and bash him down for the multitude of hurts he had heaped upon me when we went to high school together. My mistake was thinking I had friends, business partners and colleagues who I could trust to help me in my plans to build myself up in my fight against the man who took pleasure in belittling me and tearing me down publicly. My mistake was putting trust in others when I should have put trust only in myself and my meager, limited strengths.

My mistakes cost me my pride, my dignity, my career and my livelihood. My mistakes cost me Amy, who betrayed me and our short marriage, smugly confessing how she, my business partners and lawyers had only used me for my money. My mistakes cost me Angela, who betrayed me when she collaborated with Todd to ruin me financially, stabbing me in the back and ruining my plans for financial revenge against Todd. My mistakes cost me Lisa, who spat on our marriage vows and ran off with Todd to join his harem, to join Amy and Angela in their lives of sexual hedonism with Todd. My mistakes cost me my life, and nearly my sanity.

---

God had forsaken me. Todd would always win, and in trying to stand up against him, I would always lose. And I have kept losing, over and over.

There was no reason to be happy anymore. There was no reason to smile. There was no reason to feel.

I have nothing left to lose.

Does that make me a dangerous man? Hardly. I could barely eke out a living working as a stockboy at the local 24-hour convenience store. But the utility bills are paid at the end of every month, I have enough to buy groceries, not that I eat much nowadays anyway, and my right hand keeps me marginally satisfied when the urge takes me to relieve what little sexual tension I experience every few months or so.

I no longer have any family to speak of, not anymore. I had shunned them all, or rather they had shunned me, after what had happened to me repeatedly in these many years. Friends? I have none, at least none that I could trust or share my sorrows with. I couldn't take the chance of trusting anyone ever again, not after what had happened with Amy, Angela and Mark. And I shy away from bars and restaurants, no reason for me to expose myself to the world any longer. There didn't seem to be a point to even try to be sociable anymore, since I was very sure that Todd would make it his pleasure to cut me down for even thinking of becoming whole again. I barely even speak to anyone at work, the only thing I say is "Thanks, boss" to the store manager when he hands me my weekly paycheck.

And to think I used to be a business success, with my own company worth some few million dollars! But I was a fool to think I deserved that success. Just another cruel practical joke God crushed me with.

So here I am, living a daily non-existence, barely visible when I look at myself in the bathroom mirror; just the television and shadows as the only thing keeping me company at night. I stopped believing in the light at the end of the tunnel. God, Todd and company saw to it that the light was snuffed out, leaving me groping in the dark.

I'm lying on the jagged, rocky bottom of life. Could I sink any lower? Unfortunately, I could. And surprisingly, I'm looking forward to it. And it was all thanks to my boss and some cartons of beer.

---

I have no idea why the store manager suddenly would want to give me a stun gun. It's not like my life is worth much now, even though I do work nights taking care of the stock room behind the store. I can't even picture myself having the guts to face anyone who tried to rob the store if they were carrying guns. But the manager gave it to me just the same, and he told me why.

"Vern's pawnshop down the street got held up last night, and he lost a lot of merchandise and cash. So, you gotta carry this thing and you gotta take good care of the stock; make damn sure nothing happens to the stock. And I'm taking out the cost of that thing outta your paycheck."

"Thanks, boss," I said.

---

The stun gun was really heavy in my pocket, as I carried cartons of beer out of the stock room to stock the chillers at the far end of the store. I was crouched down, stacking beer cans on the lower shelves when I heard the the store bell, and their laughter, as they walked into the store.

"Todd, that was just so naughty! I can't believe I came that much!" I didn't recognize the woman's voice, but I definitely recognized his. My blood froze and my face felt hot as I heard her say his name.

"You better believe it, baby! I don't come by this side of the country as often as I want to, and I sure as hell wouldn't want to visit this shitty little part of town, but I'm glad I did tonight! Aren't you happy I took you away from that wimpy little pissant you were with at the bar just now?" Todd said, still cocksure and arrogant as ever.

Perhaps he had every right to be, considering that God had blessed his life with all the benefits and qualities only reserved for the chosen few. A well-endowed cock, good looks, money in the bank, confidence and intelligence, the list went on and on.

I peeked from behind the shelves and I saw that the woman he was with was practically half-naked, her nipples peeking out from her tight black dress, blonde and statuesque, her arms wrapped around his waist, and her frilly pink panties around her left ankle.

I couldn't decide which was heavier, my blue balls or the stun gun in my hip pocket.

"I just couldn't tear my eyes away from you when I saw you walk up to the pool table, like there was some attraction between us. I just got immediately wet! And I am glad you took me away from Arnold, otherwise I wouldn't get to feel your humongous cock inside me when you drove us away from there! God, I'm still wet and I need to use the ladies room!" she started giggling like a little girl as Todd pushed her away.

"Go ahead, I'm going to grab some beers and I'll wait for you in the car," he said, slapping her ass and laughing again.

I carried the half-empty carton of beer on my shoulder, shielding my face from Todd, and walked back into the stock room.

Setting the carton down by the wall, I slipped out the back door of the convenience store and pulled out the stun gun from my pocket. After so many emotionless years, I dared to curl my lips into a smile.

---

I had sank lower than I ever thought I could, and by everything unholy in life, I was looking forward to seeing much further I could sink.

I was in my basement, standing over Todd. Naked Todd. Naked Todd lying face-down on my dirty basement floor, his hands bound behind his back, his eyes closed shut with duct tape.

The stun burns were black pinpricks on the left side of his neck. The arrogant bastard didn't see me coming as I walked up to his 1965 Mustang convertible and slammed a few thousand volts of electricity into his body. There was that fleeting moment of doubt when I thought that God might take this opportunity to play another practical joke on me, and the stun gun batteries would have been drained, or that Todd would have been able to fight off the initial shock and recovered enough to beat the living tar out of me. Maybe his conquest for the night might have come out of the restroom a few seconds earlier and come to her fuck buddy's rescue, or maybe my boss would have noticed me missing from the stock room and come looking for me.

But the fleeting moment of doubt passed, when I realized again that I had nothing left to lose.

So here I stand; after shocking Todd with enough electricity to make him piss and shit his pants and pass out, after pushing him over to the passenger seat, after driving his cherry-red Mustang with the lights off and parking it behind my house, after carrying him into the basement, stripping him naked and taping him up (if there's one thing I should thank God for is the invention of duct tape), the drool escaping his lips onto the dirty floor, the stench of his feces clinging to his butt and the inside of his thighs, here I stand.

I couldn't decide whether to wake him by kicking him in the nuts or pissing in his face.

---

My mistake was thinking I could be better than Todd. My mistake was thinking that I could stand up to him and prove I was the better man. My mistake was thinking that I could face him and bash him down for the multitude of hurts he had heaped upon me when we went to high school together.

My mistake was trying to measure myself up to his standards, when all I had to do was play down to my own!

I could never face him in a fair fight; he had God and friends on his side. In order to cut him down, I should have snuck up behind him and stabbed him in the back, in effect I should have done what I did to him with the stun gun tonight. I could never stand up to him to fight him off when he had friends and supporters standing behind him, while my corner was bereft of the same.

Me, be better than Todd? Unlikely. And as I let loose a stream of hot piss directly onto his head, I realize I never want to be better than him.

At this very moment, I planned to be worse than him.

As I continue pissing, I made a mental list of the things I would need to get when I go back to work later: rope, fresh batteries, duct tape, a 12" metal pipe, duct tape, box cutters, duct tape, and more duct tape. Suddenly I was very glad I worked in a convenience store.

Todd started to wake up just as I finished pissing on him, so I jolted him again. He flapped on the floor like a fish and then shit himself again before passing out. Mental note: add mop and bucket to the list.

My purchases would have to wait until I could drive Todd's Mustang a few miles away from the house and torch it.

---

"Where the hell have you been, Terence?!" my boss bellowed at me as I walked back into the stock room. "You didn't finish stacking the beer!"

I quietly tried to explain, "I had to go home and change, I spilled..."

"I can see you changed clothes, dumbass, and I don't give a shit what you spilled! Now get the fuck back to work!" he interrupted me, then walked back out to the storefront.

"Thanks, boss," I said.

---

"Todd, wake up."

He was still drooling on my floor. I looked around and I realized I should clean out the basement more often.

"Hunh? What the hell? Why is it so dark?" Todd groaned his questions so quietly I could barely hear him.

"It's dark because your eyes are taped shut," I said.

"What? Who is that?"

"It's Terence."

"Terence? Who?"

"I'm sorry, Todd. I forgot. It's me, beak-boy."

"Beak-boy? What the hell?!" He raised his voice and twisted his neck, trying to look behind him. A bit hard to do when you're lying face-down with your hands tied behind your back and your legs spread and tied up to the basement walls, your balls exposed.

"Where in the hell did you think you could do this to me? After all this time, you still haven't learned your lesson, have you, you cuckold pussy wimp?" Even in his current position, he couldn't help but put me in my place beneath him, as his sexual inferior.

"I have learned my lesson, Todd. You are my superior in every way. Financially, sexually; I could never compete with you," I said.

"That's right, beak-boy! You're a loser! Everybody knows you're a loser! Your former wives, your ex-girlfriends, everybody! So let me up before I - AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!"

I can imagine how difficult it is to continue talking when someone hits you in the nuts with a 12" metal pipe.

---

I was in the kitchen, heating up a can of tomato soup. I don't eat much nowadays. But I do still need to eat, and I need to keep my strength up if I intend to go to work tomorrow.

After spending around twenty minutes practicing my golf swing with my now-trusty metal pipe on Todd's nutsack, he screamed over and over again until he passed out. I could have sworn I heard him apologizing to me about something or other before he fainted, but that may have been wishful thinking on my part, or maybe God playing tricks on me again.

I refused to hope that God or Todd would ever be on my side in anything.

As I slowly walked out of the basement to the kitchen, I added steel-toed workboots to my mental list. I figured I should practice kicking balls around if I ever decided to try out for the NFL in the future. And Todd's balls were large enough to practice on.

As I slowly sipped the tomato soup and watching the clock on the wall ticked the seconds of the night away, I made another mental list, this time a list of names.

Amy. Angela. Mark. Lisa. Vicky. Jeff. The cheerleaders. The jocks. My former lawyers. My former business partners. The list was long, but I have a lot of time on my hands now, thanks to all of them. I'm now just a stockboy in a run-down convenience store, with no emotional life and nothing left to lose.

I should take my time, since there's no need to rush into things and go cross-country looking for all of them. Besides, I still need to go to work tomorrow, and after work I still need to practice my golf swing on Todd's nuts in the basement.

And I still need to test out the box cutters on Todd's fingers and cock. It wouldn't do to purchase something without finding out if they work or not.

For the second time in a span of these few hours, I dared to curl my lips into a smile.