Now Starring Ch. 10

Dedicated to Tisha, thanks luv

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Living up to my part of the bargain was hard. Several times in my five-week's David drought I thought of something I wanted to tell him and almost called. But each time I remembered the seriousness of his voice and the look on his face in the hotel room. I could see that he was on the verge of just letting us die and my pushing him was setting that idea firmly in his head.

To distract myself I spent a lot of time with friends, going to clubs and just generally making myself chemically unable to think for hours at a time. I had no work, no David and even though I got plenty of offers, no one to go home with or to.

I tried not to obsess and count down the days but as the time grew closer for David's return I hoped he had come to a decision, and that decision would be to stay with me. But I was realistic, I knew that my luck could go either way and so prepared myself for that eventuality as well.

Or, should I say, I tried to? I convinced myself that I had the power of positive thinking on my side.

When it came time to report to the set and resume filming I had butterflies in my stomach. I had to keep my cool around the others, but the idea of seeing David again after what seemed like an eternity, made me want to whoop with joy. I had to stop myself from getting there ridiculously early, and arrived about five minutes before the script read through.

There was quite a crowd, I scanned the room for David but didn't see him. My heart sank, had I missed him? Was he not coming today? I was just about to take my seat when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Are you looking for someone?" I turned around and there he was, standing just a few feet back from me, a half smile on his face. In the weeks since I had seen him, he had grown his hair out and it was past his shoulders. Although he was still way too skinny, he looked well rested; the dark circles under his eyes had gone.

"Scotland really suits you," I replied, "you look wonderful."

"Flatterer," he laughed.

I could tell he wanted to say something else but Phil had started herding people to their seats and he took David by the arm and pulled him away from me.

I had a really hard time concentrating during the read through; I couldn't take my eyes off of David. The sunlight coming through the dusty windows played off of his hair casting a glow around him, making him look like an angel. Luckily I had only a handful of lines, and could use the excuse of just seeing the script for the first time, but I could see Phil frowning in my direction.

At the break Phil took me aside, "tone down the love sick puppy dog looks John. You're about as subtle as a brick to the balls."

"I'm sorry I haven't seen him in a long time."

Phil glanced over at David, who was talking to Mollie, I saw her reach up and take lock of his hair in her fingers and give it a twirl. Then he looked back at me, "we're having a big launch party and dinner for the press and such, for the start of the new season. I don't care who you bring as your date, but it can't be David. We need to maintain his sex symbol image."

"I see..."

"No you don't see John! If you weren't under contract I'd fire you so fast your head would spin," he leaned in to me, "we've sunk a lot of money into your little fuck buddy, publicity ain't cheap, and if you mess this up, I'll see to it you never work again!"

As soon as the read through was over, Phil made a point to get to David before I did, he ushered him into one of the back rooms with a grim expression on his face. I waited for what seemed like hours, but realistically was probably only about twenty minutes.

Phil came out first, his mouth set in a grim line, his face brick red and stomped over to me, "I hope to god he's smart as well as decorative. I think you better take what I said to heart, if you know what's good for you."

David emerged a few minutes later. He perched on the arm of my chair, ran his hands through his hair and then looked down at me, "that was fun. Phil is such a laid back kind of guy isn't he?"

"Oh, yes," I snorted, "so what was that all about?"

David looked up at the ceiling then down at his hands, "he first told me I need a hair cut, gain weight, work out more and that sort of thing. Then he said that he told you to back off of me, and I have to bring a woman to the press launch party."

"Did you get a word in edgewise?"

"Not really, but I did manage a rather passable salute..." he grinned.

"You didn't!"

"Yeah, I did and I have to say that his face did turn quite a lovely shade after that."

"He did seem a bit worked up," I laughed, and then growing serious, "I've really missed you. Can we go somewhere where we can talk?"

"I literally just got back into town, I haven't even stopped at my flat yet," he admitted, "you're welcome to come back with me, but I am not promising anything."

The cab ride to David's place was pretty quiet, I had a ton of things I wanted to say but they were not really words I wanted overheard. For David's part he seemed lost in thought, but I was just content to be sitting next to him.

Once there he gathered the mail from the floor by the mail slot, took his cases into his bedroom, opened the curtains and started a pot of coffee. While he was busy I took a seat on the sofa and just watched him as he went about his tasks. When he was done he sat down opposite me on one of the chairs.

I broke the silence first, "how was the rest of your visit?"

"It was enlightening. I'm not quite sure when it hit me but I had this epiphany that the past was out of my hands and that the future was all I had control over. After that I got on great with my dad and siblings. It was like I was seeing them all for the first time as real human beings and not spectres or bogey men."

He sat back and folded his hands in his lap, "and I learned some truths about myself."

"What about Elissa?" I ventured.

"What about her?"

"Did you see her again?"

David looked down at his hands, "yes, I did."

"And?"

"We went out a few times, but she was not there for as long as I was. She returned to her home. I got her number and said I would call her once I got back into town."

"Did you sleep with her?" I asked, keeping my voice level.

David looked up at me, "the simple answer is no."

That intrigued me, "the complicated answer would be?"

"She wanted me to and, at the time, I really wanted to as well. We got back to her room, the house was empty, and she was more than ready. But I when it came time to, I wasn't."

"How far did you get?"

"Why is that important?" he asked.

"I need to know, please."

"I got to her room and that was it. I couldn't go any further," David took a deep breath, "I made the excuse that I was concerned about her brother's family coming home any minute and she seemed to buy that."

"What was the real reason?"

"The coffee's done, would you like some?" He stood up and walked into the kitchen.

I followed him and stopped him before he reached the coffee pot, taking his hands in mine, I turned him to face me, "you didn't answer me."

"It's not an easy answer." I let him go, he poured two mugs of coffee and handed one to me, "I don't have any crème but I have some powdered stuff."

"This is fine," I took a sip of my coffee and leaned on the cupboard, "so, are you going to tell me?"

He walked over the sink, dumped the grounds from the coffee maker into it and ran some water down the drain before continuing. I could see he was having a hard time with what he wanted to say so I didn't push him.

"I saw her there on the bed," he finally started, his back still to me and his voice soft, I had to strain to hear him, "and I could see all the faces of the women I had slept with before. Then I saw you that look you had when I left you in that hotel room. And it was like a veil had been lifted and for the first time I really saw myself."

"And what did you see?"

"I keep making the same mistakes. I throw myself into a relationship hoping the other person will somehow make me whole, and when they can't..." he let out a short humourless laugh, and turned back to me, "well, anyway, that is just not going to happen."

"I can help if you let me," I offered.

"That's so you," he smiled, "I think I have to do that myself. And so, your answer, the one you have so patiently waited for is this; I do love you John, but I think you would be better off with someone else. Someone who can be out, someone who won't need to hide how they feel from the rest of the world, someone who could take your arm in public."

"Do I get a say in this?"

"Of course," he picked up his coffee cup and took a sip, watching me over the rim of the mug.

"I don't care if you can't take my arm in public, I don't care if you could never come out, and I don't know how you see yourself, but what I see is a very beautiful man. Not just how you look, which is stunning, if a bit bony. But inside and out you are one of the most beautiful men I have known. I thought about you a lot when you were in Scotland, and I think I'm the one being unrealistic."

"How so?"

"I've been thinking about my wants, my needs and not seeing your side of things. Whereas I would love you to love only me, I know you also are attracted to women. The funny thing is, Sonja didn't bother me. I was OK with you and her."

He put his mug down, "so why does Elissa bother you so much?"

"She's not right for you. I thought it was just jealousy, and yeah OK it was some of that, but she wants you for what you are. Not who you are."

David looked at me for a few seconds, a slight frown forming on his face, "What makes you say that?"

"When you were out, after well, you know, she and I talked. She kept saying how big of a fan her niece was, and how her friends wouldn't be able to believe who she was dating, how envious they would be and how she had never met a celebrity, etc. She never said how nice you were or how funny or how kind, etc. She seemed more in love with the image than the man."

He nodded, "I think I already knew that. I just didn't want to admit it."

"Sonja told me you two had an open relationship, and I'm offering you the same thing but with a qualifier. I am OK with you sleeping with a woman, but if it's another man, the deal's off."

"Don't worry about that, I think you're man enough for two people," he laughed, "but what about you? What do you get out of this?"

"I am not interested in other men. While you were gone I had plenty of offers and plenty of opportunity but I only want you," I stepped in very close and tilted his head back for a kiss.

"That seems unfair," he protested.

"David, let me decide what's fair and unfair for me," I replied kissing him gently, "I just want you to be happy."

"But..." he continued, so I kissed him a bit harder to silence him.

When I let him go he took a deep breath, "god I missed you." And with that he pulled me to him and thrust his tongue in my mouth.

I lifted him off his feet and set him on the counter top and stood between his legs, rubbing myself against him, and ravishing his neck and lips with little bites and licks. He locked his legs around my hips and threw his head back as I ran my hands down his spine. Not wanting to give him any time to think I reached inside his shirt, stroking his chest, then peeled the shirt off of him. Then I removed mine and took possession of his mouth again.

Then I kissed my way down his neck to his chest and took one of his nipples in my teeth, biting it gently while my hands undid his belt and slid his jeans down and off of him. I laid him back on the counter-top and held him around the waist as I took him into my mouth. His taste tickled my tongue like a fine wine and the sheer size of him filled my throat as I took him all the way in.

I stole a glance at him on an upstroke; he had his arms over his head, hanging on to the edge of the counter-top to stop from falling off.

When I felt him grow in my mouth he sat up and tried to escape my grasp, but I held him firmly bringing him to a shuddering orgasm that made him arch his back and let out a sound like a caged animal as he came.

Not giving him any time to catch his breath I unzipped my trousers and thoroughly wetting my cock with spit eased myself into him. I gritted my teeth in an effort to keep myself under control as his heat enveloped me and he made a low growling sound in his throat, as I hit home.

I didn't move for a few minutes I just held unto his hips, my cock buried deep within him and savoured the sight of his lean body lying beneath me. When I pulled out and slowly re-entered him he sat up and grabbed me tightly to him locking his legs around my waist, and his arms around my neck, resting his head on my shoulder as I picked up my pace.

I dug my nails into his back, and lifted him off the counter as my orgasm hit me, and he seemed to go limp in my arms. After I caught my breath I set him back down and pulled out. He laid back on the cool counter-top and closed his eyes.

I pulled my trousers up and still he didn't move. I was starting to get very concerned when he finally spoke, "I think the most exciting thing that counter had seen before now was some exotic smelling disinfectant spray."

"Speaking of, you may want to give it a dose of that before using it again."

David opened his eyes and looked at me smiling, "oh, yeah. Definitely."

The rest of the week we barely had time alone, rehearsals, wardrobe fittings and filming took most of David's waking time and aside from a quick cup of tea in the commissary we didn't see each other much.

The big premiere party came up faster than I had expected, luckily an old boyfriend, who I was still on speaking terms with, agreed to accompany me. We arrived at the venue a bit before 7pm and Phil greeted me as I entered, a fake smile plastered on his face, "I see you finally took my advice," he gestured towards my date, "your lover boy did too. Smart lad."

He gestured towards David who, much to my dismay, had his arm around Elissa's shoulders as she beamed at him. David looked stunning in a very well tailored dark blue suit with a red shirt and black necktie with matching red shoes. It wasn't a look just anyone could pull off but his slim body and tall good looks made it work.

When David saw me he bent to whisper something to Elissa and then gestured for me to meet him at the drinks table. He picked up two glasses of champagne and I followed suit, "what is she doing here?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"I thought since she seems so enamoured with the whole celebrity thing," David shrugged, "I'm sure her niece will get a kick out of this too, somehow."

We walked back slowly to where my date and Elissa were talking, when she saw me she linked her arm in David's and he handed her the glass of champagne. My date took a sip of the champagne and declared he needed a real drink and walked off in search of something stronger, leaving David, Elissa and I on our own.

Elissa leaned in, "I see you found someone else to bully," she hissed at me. I looked to see if David had overheard her but a reporter requesting a quick word with him held his attention.

"Don't get too smug," I whispered in her ear, "this is just for show. You have no idea how little he really cares about you."

"He asked me here tonight, and even if he doesn't think much of me now, I am going to make damn sure by the end of the night I'm all he'll ever think about," she smiled, "he will be in my bed tonight and I plan to be sure mine is the only one he'll ever need or want again."

Just then my date returned, "hey! The band's warming up, you wanna dance?" he shook his ass and snapped his fingers then held his hands out to me.

"I don't dance, but I bet Elissa would love to," I suggested. Elissa shot me a dirty look but before she could decline he grabbed her hands and dragged her to the dance floor.

David finished his interview and turned back to me, "where'd everyone go?"

"Over there," I gestured to the dance floor, "I don't know if you should be warned or congratulated but Elissa seems to have a x-rated night planned for you."

"I think I have a say in that," David rolled his eyes and took a sip of his champagne. Then he watched our dates dancing for a bit, "although you do seem to have the possibility of a bit of fun tonight yourself."

"He's just a friend," I explained, "I've already got a lover."

"I still am not entirely sure how this all works out for you..." David started, but was interrupted by another reporter vying for his attention.

I watched David pour on the charm with the female reporter. She was almost instantly turned into a giggling fan girl and the more she chatted with him the more evident it became; it was almost spooky how easily he could do that. At the end of the interview I saw her jot down her phone number and tuck it into his suit jacket pocket.

After the reporter left it was just David and I again. He seemed a bit ill at ease, his eyes constantly scanning the room, like he expected some sort of unpleasant surprise at any moment. I finally got his attention, "are you OK?" I asked.

"I'm feeling a bit like a performing monkey right now," he admitted, "this is just a bit unnerving."

"Face it David, you're a star and that makes you hot property. A lot of actors would gladly sell their first born for the fame you've achieved."

"Including you?"

"Including me."

Seeing the frown deepen on his face, I changed the subject, "so how many phone numbers have you gotten already?" I patted his jacket pocket, "feels sort of full."

He didn't seem to understand at first, then he grinned and reached into his pocket and pulled out the slips, "I lost count," he fanned the papers out, "hmmm let's see, ummm eleven."

Then he folded them back up and stuck them in his pocket, "not all from women either. I guess that's pretty good for only being here for an hour."

"I'll bet Elissa has been loving that," I laughed.

He smiled, "I'm considering just handing them out to random people and seeing if anyone makes a love connection as a result."

"Why not? It's sort of like spreading the wealth."

David nodded and took a sip of his champagne, "exactly. Why be selfish?"

Just then Phil announced that dinner was being served. I glanced at the seating chart as I entered the dining room and saw that Phil and his date plus a gaggle of the press were sitting with David and Elissa. My table-mates were Mollie, her husband and some reporters from a few second string tabloids.

Joyous.

After dinner the lights went down and a large screen dropped from the ceiling at one end of the room. The screen lit up with highlights from the previous season and then tantalising clips from the next season, featuring an awful lot of scenes of David and even though I was trying not to count, only one with me in it.

I looked over at Mollie and her lips were set in a thin line, I quickly tried to recall how many of the scenes shown featured her. Before I could get that count she leaned in, "nice to see who the fair haired lad is in this operation. I swear if Phil doesn't start treating me like the important part of this cast, I'm going to walk."

As the reporters at the table began frantically taking notes; I tried to quiet her, "Mollie, we're not exactly alone right now..."

She downed her wine and poured another glass, "I don't give a shit. We did just fine without that skinny Scottish bastard; did Phil lavish all that attention on Tom before the second coming? No!"

Mollie's husband tried to get the wine glass out of her hand, "I think you've had enough." He admonished her.

She slapped his hands away, and her voice rose higher, "I am supposed to be the fucking female lead!" she gestured with her glass at David, "but no, Phil had to hire pretty boy there and now I'm just a day player!"