Number 1 Clich?

Sure, I've written some dirty stories, just like anybody. But I never thought I'd have a really sexy real-life experience that's really sexy and worth writing about – y'know?

Well, let me start from the beginning.

I was outside getting ready for my morning jog – I like to keep in top shape – and this big U-Haul pulls up, someone grinding the hell out of those gears. Well fuck me purple if two hot, big-tittied honeys don't hop out of the cab, little cutoffs riding up to just below their too-perfect sexy little sexy sexy asses.

Wow, I thought to myself, what I wouldn't give to be able to get with just one of those women. But that's impossible… isn't it?

Wow, they sure had unusually large breasts and freakishly perfect bodies. Of course I could never be with a woman like that. …or could I?

At first I just, y'know, pretended to stretch out front while they got their keys from the building manager, but soon they were working on the heavy stuff.

"Are you alright?" the super-hot one asks me.

"I'm wicked," I say, "how are you?"

"Sexy," she says. "We were just curious – would you like… help us move furniture?"

Wow, she sure did look good.

"Well, I suppose I could lend a hand," I say, giving her The Look. She raises an eyebrow and just looks right on back, and already I've got a big hard one.

Wow, she sure was sexy.

I spend the rest of the morning helping them move in, and by noon we're all tired and sweaty.

"Why don't we take a break for lemonade?" one of them suggests. I'm not sure which – I know they were both really hot, though.

Well, we all think lemonade is a super-terrific idea, so we head upstairs to their place, a sexy one-bedroom on the third floor. Sitting on the couch in the living room, we all drink sexy ice cold lemonade.

The superhot brunette takes some of her ice and begins rubbing it on her ample, sexy, curvaceous neck.

"Mmmm," she says. "It's so hot today," turning to me and giving me The Look.

I raise an eyebrow and give her The Look right back.

"Yes," I say. "Certainly… warm… even though it's been oftly… cloudy…"

"Oooh," she moans. "Talk about the weather more… more…"

"Wow," says the blond. "You stumbled upon our Super-Secret Sexaholic Secret of Sex. We can't resist a man who can talk weather."

"We?" I say? I can hardly believe it!

"Yeah," says the brunette, looking at me very sexy-like. "We do everything together. Or should I say… everyone."

Talk about my lucky day! Who saw this coming? Not me!

Well, soon I'm talkin' about the most boring stuff imaginable while these two hot babes start frigging themselves off! And wow – they sure had perfect bodies. I think they told me their names at some point, but I can't recall.

"Can I suck your cock?" the brunette says.

"No – I get to suck it first!" says the blond, pushing her chum out of the way and gripping my RIDICULOUSLY OVERSIZED PENIS. I'm talkin' thirteen inches – and THICK.

They fight over it for a minute, but I might have a solution…

"Ladies, ladies, please… you can both suck my cock!"

Well this seems to please everyone – especially me as these two hot supersexy beautiful sexy boner-inspiring women suck me off.

One of them jerks my hardon, saying things like,

"It's so big," and "wow – I'm not sure I can handle this big, huge boner of yours."

The other is just suckin' her heart our, and they're both rubbing their unusually large and firm breasts.

One of 'em gets the wise idea to start licking my balls, and that's where the fireworks really start. I'm fuckin' her face (one of them – I forget which), and then I squirt all over their faces.

We clean up, and I told them that I know I haven't known them long, but I love them.

They told me they love me too.

And it was such a special, touching, important moment that validated the moral ambiguity of our situation. It really was.

But sex was important too, so we got back to that pretty quick. Soon I've got the blond bent over the couch while I fuck her tight, shaved, slutty Cavern of Mystical Pleasure and Womanly Power. The brunette is licking my balls from beneath, and soon I'm ready to squirt again. But I don't – I hold back – I want to come in someone's ass. That way it's like… intimate. Yeah, that'll work.

The brunette's moaning her head off, gasping about how I'm the best she's ever had – how she'll never get fucked like this again, riding my cock as the blond sits on my face.

That's right. I had sex with two women. AT THE SAME TIME.

And they were super-sexy alright.

So I'm fucking the brunette in the pink puckered poop chute, right? And she starts coming all over the place from having my abnormally huge erection in her extra-sensitive sex-ass. Soon, I'm ready to come too, but the redhead won't have that. …or was she blond?

Whatever – she says she wants my cum in her pussy, so she pushes the other chick off, sucks me off for one or ten strokes and then sits on my uniquely massive boner, sliding me all the way up into her untra-hot-spicy-smokin'-slutty Temple of Holy Worship for the Mother Flower.

She's ridin' me like a prize antelope, and staring deep into my eyes. Hers were so beautiful – I'll never forget that special, important moment.

…come to think of it, I'm not sure what colour they were. But whatever – it was an important moment for us both. So we have this like, emotional connection, and then she asks me to talk dirty to her.

"A storm front's comin' in," I say.

"Oooooooohhhhhh," she moans.

"Looks like high pressure comin' in from the west…" I'm groaning, gripping her extra-sexy-hot, sex-inspiring fuck-me hips.

"Yessssss YELL IT, Weatherman!" Her sloppy, overused Blosson of the Moon Goddess grips me tight, and I know she's coming like Whoopie to the Oscars.

"AND BAROMETRIC PRESSURE IS RISING!" I cry. Never have I had such a transcendent, spiritual, sexy sexual moment.

She jumped off me and jerked my hot, spicy, tasty sexy one-eyed-touser-mouse go-juice deep into her perfect, pouty mouth.

Later on, we're lying in their extra-large sex-bed, and I ask them;

"Hey, why did you guys come up to me in the first place?"

"You'd been standing on the steps stretching for a half an hour – we thought you deserved some recognition for trying to hard."

Wow, that sure was funny luck. Hah hah hah.

Well, I'm happy to say we lived beside each other for six wonderful months. Whenever the weather was on, I'd knock on their door and either the blond or the brunette would answer – and these hot sexy sex goddesses would fuck me while watching the weather. Unfortunately, last year their fetish took a dark turn, and they were struck by lightning while masturbating on a hilltop during a thunderstorm.

I'll never forget them – though I'm not sure I recall their names, I can tell you this – they were super-duper sexy. Just wait – it could happen to you next.