Obsession

NOTE: This is the first story of the lost Obsession chapters, how it all started.

OBSESSION

Obsession: Uncontrollable fascination and preoccupation over a person or an object, resulting in abnormal or deviant behavior.

My name is Gail. I married Rob right out of college when I was 21. I'm 26 now and Rob is a distributor for a large pharmaceutical company. He travels most of the time, and I stay busy with my yogi classes and taking care of the garden. For the past five years, my life has been pretty much routine, until a few months ago. Let me start off by saying that except for two fumbling attempts at sex with my old high school boyfriend, Rob is the only man I've slept with during five years of marriage. The sudden change in that came about almost by accident, and guilt over my uncontrollable behavior finally made me consult a sex therapist to get past it.

My therapist, Cleo, has worked with other patients like me and believes that by sharing our stories with others and receiving positive feedback, we can overcome these guilt feelings and turn our lives around. I've read her stories on this site written by some of her other troubled clients, and now realize I am not such a freak after all. She offered to help me write this segment, but while I'm no author I'm a college grad and want to put down my true feelings and thoughts, as I am the one who committed these acts of adultery. I promise I won't try to diminish my actions, or spare myself in any way. I'm not writing this to ask for forgiveness. I'm writing it for myself, and try to understand my behavior. Right now, my life is a mess and I'm a complete basket-case. So . . . on to what happened to me.

A few months ago I was cutting the shrubs between our property and the neighbor's house, when I happened to glance up through his bathroom window and saw him taking a shower. Harvey is a widower, fifty-five or sixty years old. It's hard to tell his age. I just thought of him as being older. He's a big man, six-foot four or five, well over two-hundred pounds. I've seen him out jogging and he's really hairy, too. For the most part, I think chest and leg hair on men is gross. As I started backing away from the window, I stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed his penis. Limp and thick, it hung between his hairy thighs almost to his knees. I'm not lying! He was shampooing his hair and I knew he couldn't see me, so I stared at him without even thinking that what I was doing was morally reprehensible, and probably even illegal.

Slowly, I became aware my heart was pounding against my chest and I was holding my breath. As he rinsed the soap from his eyes, I hurriedly backed away and went into my house, where I weakly collapsed into a chair, my knees extremely shaky and I was trembling all over. My god, I asked myself. What had I just done? I closed my eyes and I could still see that gigantic cock swinging limply between my neighbor's hairy thighs. Shaken and still trembling, I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, the image vividly etched into my mind. Standing under the cool shower a long time I masturbated to two climaxes. Later, I berated myself for what I'd done and decided to take a short nap, but every time I closed my eyelids I still saw that appendage swinging before my eyes.

Over the next week, I became more aware of Harvey's coming and going. He jogged every other day, then went inside and came out forty minutes later looking freshly showered. He always went to his backyard hammock then and read for another hour before going back inside. That was his routine. I didn't dwell upon the reason I wanted to know that information, telling myself I was only curious about my neighbor. Rob came home during that time, we had our usual sex which I always enjoyed, and then went through our daily lives as always.

The image of Harvey taking a shower never completely left me though. It became even more pronounced when Rob and I made love, as I imagined that fat meaty thing in my mouth, or slowly sliding inside my wet vagina. That was strange, because Rob and I rarely had oral sex. I fantasized what it must look like when it became excited, dismissing my day-dreams as harmless fantasy. When traveling, Rob usually drove the BMW, but when he left for his next trip he flew, so I drove him to the airport. I had a dental cleaning right afterward, so I was dressed in heels and a short summer dress that day, my long blond hair piled high, nice earrings. I looked good.

Harvey was standing near his open garage door when I drove up. I picked up his newspaper from near our curb, strolled over and handed it to him. We chatted for a moment, his eyes all over me. In my mind, I kept thinking, this is a man I've seen naked - the one with that huge penis. I must admit I was a little buzzed by the idea of being almost close enough to touch that monster cock, and as I walked away I intentionally strutted a bit, swaying my hips. All the way to the front door I could feel his eyes on my ass. I admit, I have always liked being admired by men.

I dressed in my usual garden-working shorts, prepared and nibbled on a light snack. An hour later I watched as Harvey returned from his run and went inside. I gave him 10 minutes and retrieved the garden sheers from the garage. My heart in my mouth, I went back to the area I'd visited that other day. From outside his house near the bathroom window, I could hear the shower running inside. Heart pounding, I edged closer, peeking inside.

Harvey stood under the shower, soaping his genitals. I suddenly realized that I was staring into a large mirror and it was actually a reflection of Harvey I was looking at. By the angle, I knew I couldn't be seen from when I stood. Taking some comfort in that knowledge I moved out farther where I could observe better. I watched him soap his cock and balls, slowly stroking its incredible length and pulling the skin back from an enormous crown, washing around it thoroughly. I was mesmerized by the sight. Rob's penis is circumcised. I'd never seen one that wasn't before. Harvey's big hairy balls looked like oranges hanging down half the length of his cock. There was nothing sexual about his actions, and I guess I'd admit I was disappointed I didn't see it aroused.

As for me, I realized the crouch of my shorts was sopping wet, and my vagina felt like it was on fire. In fact, I had never been so excited in my life! I was wearing loose-leg shorts, easily able reach under the legs and touch my bare pussy. Had I subconsciously failed to wear panties for this very reason? I didn't know and didn't dwell on it because as soon as I touched my clit I climaxed in a gush, trembling and heaving as I sank to my knees, fighting to remain silent. As my climax subsided I clutched my hands between my legs for a minute longer, trying to recover. When I became aware of my surroundings again and looked back through the window, Harvey had suddenly vanished. I immediately panicked, rushing to my back door and quickly going inside.

I hurriedly looked out all the windows trying to ascertain if I'd been seen. But it was only my guilt speaking. I was safe. Safe - but stupid. I berated myself for almost an hour for my aberrant behavior. What had I been thinking? Rob was a faithful, loving husband who deserved more from his wife. I knew some men sneaked around and did these things - peeping Toms. I wasn't like that. I was just curious. Nothing more.

I took a quick shower and went in to prepare a cool drink. Through my back window, I saw Harvey at his usual place in the hammock, wearing a t-shirt and light sweat pants. He was reading a book. Curious about what he read, I found Rob's binoculars and peeked through the glass door. Fifty Shades of Gray! It was a three book trilogy still on the NY Times Best

Seller List, and I'd read the last segment just the week before - pure eroticism concerning a young woman who learned about sexual pain and pleasure. Almost with a mind of their own, the glasses slowly shifted down the length of his body. Clearly visible against the soft fabric of his jersey pants, was the heavy outline of the penis I'd seen earlier. I guess I hadn't fully recovered from my earlier excitement because my heart accelerated to where I might have a heart attack, and I was suddenly having difficulty breathing again. It was as though my hands were itching with the urge to touch that thing right through the material. Putting my mind in neutral, I made a pitcher of ice tea and then without planning it, grabbed an extra glass and headed out toward the hammock.

He looked up, watching me approach, his expression showing the approval at what he was seeing. "Afternoon," I called out. "It's hot today and you look as if you could stand something cold to drink."

He grinned, swinging his legs over the side of the hammock and standing. "Sure could. Ice tea delivered by the prettiest wife in the neighborhood is always welcome. Come on let's sit on the patio where it's cooler."

I followed him there and we both were seated in lounge chairs just a few feet apart. After making small talk for a few moments, he suddenly held up his book. "You read this one?"

I might've blushed, admitting that I had and had liked it.

"What part did you like the best?" he asked.

I was suddenly having trouble breathing again, trying to not look directly at that bulge in his sweat pants. When I didn't answer right away, he went on.

"I liked the part where she performed oral on him, for the first time in her life," he said, grinning like a wolf. "Then he'd bent her over that table . . . and oh my god, that was hot!"

As he talked about the book his bulge slowly swelled, growing larger each time it moved. By then, I was having trouble looking away. Up close like this it seemed even more awesome, maybe fearsome. I suddenly glanced up and found him staring into my eyes, aware that he knew I'd been staring at his crotch. Grinning like a wolf, he reached down and slowly rubbed his cock through the soft material - right in front of me. I had never cheated on my husband. I had never even wanted to. What was I doing here anyway? The roar grew louder in my ears, my lips dry as sandpaper as I fought the urge to lick them. I was sure he could hear my heart slamming against the inside of my chest, see my breasts rise and fall as I attempted to breathe. I'm not going to try and lie. I did want to see that thing up close, even touch it. I'd never been so excited in my life, but I was determined it would never happen.

"Did you like that part, too?" he asked as I tried to focus on what he was saying. "I mean, did

it arouse you? It sure did me!" He suddenly wrapped his fingers around the clothed monster. "Hell, I still get a hard-on just thinking about it."

I couldn't speak. I couldn't look away either. Transfixed, I just sit there staring.

"Want to touch it?" he whispered hoarsely.

No. No! My mind cried silently. I wanted to leave, but my legs wouldn't obey me.

"Come here, beautiful," he growled.

Like a robot, I stood and walked over. He reached out his hand and took mine, pulling me down beside his chair. He placed my hand on the bulge, wrapping my fingers around it. It was searing hot, hard and massive. Okay, I'd touched it, I told myself. Now I could leave. But Harvey had no intention of letting me leave, and his body language said he was taking this to the next level. He suddenly pulled his waistband down, flopping his cock out, in front of my face. I almost fainted.

Almost a foot long and incredibly thick, the numerous large blood channels made it pulsate with each heartbeat. It looked like a Cobra, something alive, jerking upward as it grew rigid before my eyes. I was completely mesmerized by the sight. Between my legs I felt a sudden gush of juice that soaked the crotch of my shorts. Not six inches from my face he slowly stroked its entire length, the loose foreskin sliding back and forth easily over the huge spongy crown. A shiny droplet formed at its tip, glistening invitingly, causing me to lick my lips again. Fixated on that massive hunk of meat I couldn't have moved if I'd wanted to. I was trembling uncontrollably, barely conscious that I was even licking my dry lips.

"Touch it if you want to," he said softly.

As if my hand had a mind of its own, I watched it reach out and wrap its tiny fingers around about half of his offered cock. It felt wonderful – just as I had imagined it would feel – thick, meaty, warm and throbbing with suggestive excitement. At that moment the only thing existing in the world, was me and the big warm thing that I held in my trembling little hand. Without having to be told, I licked the clear drop from its tip, and swooned. It tasted like ambrosia. From that very moment on, I was hooked.

Yes, I knew right then that I was obsessed by this thing. It was only later during one of my therapy sessions with Cleo that I fully understood what being obsessed entailed. She said I was not alone, that many women had the same fetish. They search their lifetimes for that one perfect cock, but it rarely happens. Many women seek out Black men because they've heard, rightfully or wrongfully, they had larger penises. It takes many sessions with a qualified therapist to overcome this urge, she told me, and most women never do. I didn't know that then though. It might not have mattered anyway. At the moment, that thick meaty cock and my watering mouth, was all that mattered in the world.

I closed my eyes, leaned forward and closed my loose lips around the fat spongy head, my tongue sliding hungrily over its slick surface. It was like an out of body experience. I was floating somewhere in space oblivious to my surroundings, as I gently sucked the large crown, pushing my head down to take more of it inside. When the enormous crown hit the back of my mouth I gagged, pulled off a little and licked it some more. Then I shoved my head downward again. Thick, meaty, warm, it tasted wonderful. I never wanted to let it go.

Rob was average sized and wasn't all that keen on oral sex. The few times I had done it for him I was able to take it all down my throat, but he never climaxed inside my mouth. However, Rob and my marriage were the farthest things from my mind right then, as I cupped Harvey's hairy balls in one hand, the other grasping the base of his cock to control its depth. After choking and gagging on it for a full ten minutes I was able to finally get the head past the opening in my throat. Breathing through my nose, something I learned during this process, I felt it slide over my tongue and suddenly just pop through the opening of my throat, then continue its way toward my gullet.

When I felt it pushing through the tight channel of my throat, I almost climaxed. Maybe that was because I was stimulating my clit by subconsciously rubbing my wet thighs together, or maybe it was just the thought of something like that fucking my mouth. When I felt it sensually moving up and down my throat's channel, I reached up and touched the bulge of its crown through the skin. I was in Heaven. As I slowly pulled all the way off it I let my tongue slide up the large blood vessel underneath, producing a copious amount of pre-ejaculation fluid. Rewarded by my efforts, I instantly wanted more. After a few more moments, nearly puking from the effort, I found myself literally slamming my face down, taking more of his thick meat each time. Saliva ran down my chin in small rivers, dripping onto the front of my shirt. Even the choking and gagging part of doing something this forbidden seemed exciting to me.

Harvey's cock was emitting more and more fluid with my increasingly improved technique. I heard him grunting above me. Rob did that sometimes when he got close to cumming so I knew Harvey was getting close to emptying his nuts in my mouth. I slowed up a little, carefully working my lips and tongue over the blood vessels and ridges as I pulled back, sucking slow and gently as I went back down. I wasn't just sucking it any longer, I was making love to Harvey's cock. No man had ever cum in my mouth before, but I knew today all of that would change. I had never experienced anything like I felt right then. It was if I wasn't in control of my own body, simply floating in a state of utopia.

Harvey suddenly wrapped his huge hands in my hair, savagely pulling my head down as he slammed his hips up. His wiry public hairs were suddenly in my nose and I was close to suffocating from the length of his cock. It erupted like a water hose. The first couple gobs went straight down my throat as I fought to breathe, but then he loosened his grip letting me breathe a little, pulling about half way out to finish emptying his balls into my mouth. Thick, bleach-tasting, and slightly bitter, it coated my tongue, teeth, and the roof of my mouth as I struggled to swallow all of it.

Close to cumming, I licked and sucked up everything he gave me. When the flow gradually ceased I gently slid my lips back up his cock, covering the fat crown with them, and sucked away any clear post-ejaculation fluid still seeping out. Even then I wanted more, but I knew that after cumming, men are tender around the head of their cocks. Rob had told me that, once. I gently licked Harvey's softening cock, nibbled the skin covering his hairy sacs, then lifted them and bit and licked the little area directly underneath.

I did this for about five minutes, and then returned to massaging his balls and gently sucking his cock's head again. I had never felt so nasty in my entire life. His cock had softened after he came, but didn't decrease in size or thickness very much. It was still meaty, just softer.

I wanted to cum so badly my belly ached, but I knew I had to wait for him a little while to recover, so I left his cock alone and scooted up to lay my head on his hairy chest. I took one of his dark nipples into my mouth and gently sucked it. Then I nibbled it, hearing him catch his breath. Fighting the urge to touch my pussy, I continued doing this for several minutes. From the corner of my eyes I saw his cock move a bit, starting to pulsate as it filled with blood again.

I reached down, and almost lovingly, scratched his balls. After paying homage to his nipples a little longer, I took his half-hardened cock back into my mouth and sucked it some more. I licked and sucked until he squirted a large discharge of pre-cum into my mouth, then I stood, slipped off my cotton shorts and straddled his body. Staring him in the eye, I lowered myself until I felt the head of his cock against my swollen opening. Fighting against the climax I felt building deep in my belly, I slowly slid my sloppy wet vagina lips around on the head of his cock for a couple minutes, anticipating what was yet to happen.

Placing my hands against his matted chest, I carefully lowered myself onto his jerking cock. The head was way too large to fit inside me. I put more weight on it, feeling the friction of its burn, forcing my pussy lips aside to invade this much smaller space. It took forever, until my body just seemed to finally give in and accept the invader. Finally, the soft spongy head was inside me, stretching my vagina opening as never before. It'd hurt, too. I braced myself for what was to come and lowered my body even more, feeling the burn again as the meaty pole pushed the walls of my pussy aside to make room for its enormous girth. The painful process took a full ten minutes before I felt it hit bottom.

At that moment I felt more a female than I ever had. This was what it was supposed to be like for us, pain mixed with pleasure as we offered themselves up to enormous cocks that filled wombs with stronger children. Not the pale, skinny little cocks that evolution had produced as civilization took over, but the huge male organs as a result of the big guys weeding out weak and inferior opponents as they battled for the available females.