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Zyra scoffed. "Then I suppose you must be a weakling yourself, to end up as some human's nanny."
Medean smiled pleasantly and bowed. "It is an honor to serve the keromedio."
"You are as significant to your beloved keromedio as the dirt in her boots."
"I sincerely apologize. I shall try to be more useful to you in the future."
"Then die so I can use your body as a footrest."
She spoke harshly to him in a strange tongue, no doubt cursing. She was on her way out when he stopped her.
"Miss, since it is dark, would you like me to take you to the hot spring?"
"Why not? If I leave you here I can't be sure you won't steal anything."
Medean's smile never left his face. It only made her want to abuse him more. She had insulted him about three more times before they reached their destination.
She stepped in, placing her clothing in the dry place and the towel close to the spring's edge. Looking back at him she had the urge to say thank you, but she held it in. The witches had already proven they were not to be trusted. Especially the ones that smiled at you.
"What are you standing there for?"
"I was merely making sure that things were to your liking, Miss."
"I don't recall ever telling you I liked anything, making you the most unfit person here to see if things are to my "liking."
"Yes, how presumptuous of me. Forgive me, Miss."
"No."
He stood there, smile and all until she had to ask again, "Why are you still here?"
"I apologize once more, but you didn't dismiss me. I was unsure if you required me to re-escort you back to your room."
"Oh yes, it must be difficult to find the only room without a door."
"I can procure one for you if you'd like."
"You get on that." Zyra pulled her boots off and tossed them in the corner. "Oh and Medean?"
"Yes?"
"You can get the fuck out now."
Medean bowed and walked out. So, he would be her punching bag?
Interesting.
_________________________________________________
*Notes*
See? Patience is a virtue. For those who have complained about the lovable minor characters being absent, do understand that the story follows the location.
You talk about Henna to death when you're in the Rovian lands, you talk about to death Scallen when you're in the Valley. ECT.
Now that Zyra had switched zip codes, we'll see a lot of old pals. And don't worry...
Henna and Hanto are supposed to piss you off. (Mwahaha.)
I also wanted to address my...inconsistency. I apologize sincerely and I want to do better. I have my reasons, but I want to try deadlines (something I despise.) If anything else, I'll suffer as much as you do from my cliff hangers, and we'll call it even. -.-
Starting from this chapter, I will try to post every two weeks. Be aware that since I am on a deadline, some chapters may be shorter than others, (This is 3 pages...the last was 6.) especially if I feel the standard of work is lower than I am okay with.
That being said,
Please, continue to support me with your comments and concerns. ^^ It does make me a better writer. So thank you.
Until next time...
Much love,
-SD.
P.S. Do you prefer the three dashes or the line breaks for the changes in POV?
- COMMENTS
Khamalaniabout 10 years agoI have put off reading this story for so long and I'm glad I did. It is wonderful, delightful, it is in short EVERYTHING!!!! I love it. And dare I say you?
katgoddess1over 10 years agoI don't understand what the witches hope to gain by being cruel to Zyra. At least she has Scallen in her corner. I think that Medean could be a useful resource for her if she would stop being so suspicious of every male she meets.
TJ_Rockover 10 years agoI started reading this story this past weekend. I'm disappointed to have made it to the end and now I have to wait on postings. Oh, why couldn't I have discovered it after you'd finished?!?! Oh woe is me! (j/k). I like the world you've created and I'm looking forward to more installments.
Anonymousover 10 years agoYou have been missed, also how cruel of you 2 and a half chapters!!😩
cittranover 10 years agoTL;DR
In order of occurrence:
self-referential list of things
self-defacing humor
opinion related to story
error spotted
reassurance/assuaging of potential fear(s)
long-winded somewhat-sympathetic Great Wall of Text
opinion unrelated to story
self-referential humor
If I were you -- which I'm rather glad I'm not, actually, as I'm horrible about deadlines. As in "I-won't-do-it-if-the-deadline-is-artificial" horrible. We'd never get to read this story if I were the one writing it.
But anyways. If I were you, I'd use a bit more prominent of a scene break, such as this:
--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--
--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--
I know it's long, but it's a heck of a lot more obvious than three simple dashes. (Though I'll also say it's pretty clear, and not at all...jarring? (I guess that works) when you do use scene breaks. It's obvious when you transition from one scene to another because you structure your sentences properly. I've read SOME authors who couldn't do that, (or who didn't have editors who could), and it does impact the quality. So, on your part, Crisis Averted Already.)
Also, I noticed an error (and I think I've noticed it before in other chapters, when similar stuff happened) in the spacing of one part:
"Not at all. I will see her for my lesson soon." Caligula and Medean walked off, and Etaceh and
Zyra were alone.
The line "Etaceh and Zyra were alone." should be one the same line.
I'm guessing that there was a paragraph or 'new line' break entered incorrectly there; maybe as a result of an accidental keypress, or because the view of the Document Editor* cut off that sentence when it was being used -- either by you, or by your editor (assuming you have one -- I can't remember if you mentioned that).
Eurgh. I structured that sentence horribly. I also can't think of how to do it better.
*(Dunno if you use Microsoft Word, OpenOffice, LibreOffice, or something I can't think of.)
w/e.
Regardless, if the only things you have to worry about (in the context of writing this story, that is), are things like line breaks and frequency of updates, remember these:
Unhappy readers are vocal, but if they've read all the chapters up to this point, they probably won't stop now. They'll help you fix a problem if they can, especially if it benefits them.
Your schooling takes precedence over us reading more story goodness. Please, PLEASE don't ever put us ahead of you finishing a project.
(Especially a physics one. Those things are a bitch to complete without the right data. And why everyone needs the 'core classes', and that includes PHYSICS, is beyond me. Math up to and including very basic calculus? Sure. It helps in everyday life. And being forced to use algebra will cement it into your brain. Physics though? When the hell am I going to need to find the angle of incidence a light beam is making as it transfers from one medium to another? Never? Didn't think so.)
lol.
My comment is so long it requires a scroll bar. (Even before that multi-line list at the top.)
And my ADHD displays itself prominently. *fist pump*
