Oh What a Night!

"Why'd it take so long to see the light."

Song by Gaudio and Parker

There have been a number of stories where the wife suggests that a bigger cock than her husbands was better. The most recent one I read was Man Enough, by heavyheartlaments. I thought there was room for at one more such story.

Sarah and I got married a year ago when she was 31 and I was 35. We were a couple for two years before that so it wasn't an impulsive thing. We've each dated a lot of people, figured out what we were looking for a marriage partner, and found it in each other. You've no doubt experienced the process, you consider all the attributes you want in a spouse, and compare women or men to those attributes, and of course most fall short...until one is close, and flushed with ardor & love, and since most of her features are really good, better than you imagined, and the deficiencies aren't so bad, you round things up to 100%.

The only problem I with Sara is that my libido is higher than hers, and in addition she's not very adventuresome in bed. But still, life with her was wonderful, Sarah is easy going, rarely any drama, and she looked after me.

We both are looking forward to a life together raising two or three kids, we were aware that the biological clock is ticking, but it's also important to give ourselves time to get use to marriage before we loaded ourselves with the joy and the fatigue of children.

I have to say that I have relatively few close male friends, and most of them are work related; I have always relied on girl friends or friends who were girls for close friendships, and of course my mother. She possessed two rate talents, wisdom, and the ability to see the world from someone else's point of view, and now I had Sarah. In contrast, Sarah has three or four really good friends, one of them male, but her B.F.F. was Joan, her college roommate. She and her husband John lived 200 miles away, so we only saw them two or three times a year. Of course the women talked on the phone about once a week.

Joan and John (J&J for short) grew up together, dated senior year in high school, and were convinced they were meant to be because of their shared childhood, and the smooth sound of their names John and Joan. People believe the oddest things, don't they.

Anyway they split up the summer before college as they were going to different colleges. I gathered from many conversations with my wife, that Jane was almost a virgin at that point, John being the only one knocking on her jade gate, and in the next year and a half, a lot of men 'came' while knocking. Apparently Sarah and Joan had a really good time in college, to hear her tell, they weren't particularly promiscuous at least by modern standards, but for sure, neither was a stranger to a nice cock. The two of them both studied hard, played hard,, and had a good time.

John did poorly at the Ivy League school his parents sent him to, so he bailed and transferred to Jane's University in the middle of his sophomore year, where they resumed their courtship. Sarah continued to play the field, was engaged once in her mid twenties. To hear her tell it, he cheated on her with a fuck buddy, and when she found out, tried to convince her he was auditioning the girl solely to check her out for a threesome with Sarah. It was a serious mis reading of her personality on his part, both that she'd want a threesome, and secondly that she'd believe his reasoning. She dropped him on the spot.

These days, after schooling is done it's play time; work hard, hang out in groups, play hard, screw a lot, pay off student debt, 'cause the road goes on forever and the party never ends, with a bit of money, responsibilities weigh lightly on your shoulders. But towards the end, the lure and excitement of strange pussy (or cock) wanes, you realize it's become boring, and it's time to settle down, look for someone to share your life with.

We and met at a destination wedding in the Caribbean, were instantly smitten with each other, perhaps inspired by the wedding, fucked with rare passion that night. What a life changing week. Most of the wedding guests stayed for a day or two, so during the day, we'd hang out with various ones, but we'd be in the room by ten and alternately screw and talk until three or four in the morning. However when everybody else left we were wild and loose, tested our daring do at a clothing optional beach, (me naked, her naked fr three hours, topless thereafter) and at a couple of bars in town, dirty dancing with each other into the night.

I never had sex that often in my life, nor since. Looking back, it was both frequent and energetic, but repetitious; I could lick and suck her pussy and her ass for that matter, but no reciprocity. Unfortunately she has never been so sexual or gone naked for more than an hour in bed...almost bait and switch, isn't it. Anyway, we've been together ever since.

I'm not all that fond of John and Joan, for one thing they squabble and fight a lot. I knew that from the late night phone calls to Sarah, and later Sara tells me the gist of their problems. John was pretty up tight and a little too jealous, Joan liked to flirt and was more relaxed, well about everything, but apparently the two of them had been like this in college, so what did they expect now? John is quite successful in business, in part because he lacks self confidence, and over compensates by working long, hard, and meticulously; despite his college experiences, he was a smart enough guy, but the only thing he and I had in common was our wife's' friendship.

Sarah and I planned a mini vacation, lunch, afternoon and evening with J&J, drive to a motel nearish to the beach for a night, and home the following evening. The beach is almost a three hour ride from our house, longer if you hit traffic, so we don't do many day trips. I'd rather spend the night so we get two days at the shore, but that crimps the budget, anyway, it's a bit of a treat to go to the shore. This trip was sort of special because we're starting a family, well technically we have stopped preventing a family from starting, and so it might be a while before we'd be at the beach.

The nearly 4 hour drive to J&J's house was unremarkable, except for the steady rain which made driving tedious. We all had lunch in a Cuban restaurant, and the afternoon at an indoor art fair in the village, had a round of beer at a tavern with covered sidewalk tables. Nice dinner at their house, John cooked because he said Jane couldn't do a decent Caesar salad, or cook the steaks right. See what I mean about John? So we were pretty relaxed, not so much John, a good dinner, several drinks, and a couple of joints. As I said, John and I got on well enough, but we were there because the wives were BFF, and in the husbandly role of rarely speaking unless spoken to, listening to the wives, who were a bit drunk and high, reminiscing about college pranks and what not, which would have had more entertainment value if we hadn't heard most of the tales before, John and I were laid back, a bit bored, and only half listening, occasionally having a few quiet words together.

God knows how long the women had been talking about sex, I can't imagine me not noticing, but I zoned in from wherever my mind was, when Jane said:

"Brian had about the biggest cock I've ever had, didn't he? If you hadn't told me it was a stretch, but fit in you really good, and better yet, he knew how to use it, I would've refused him and missed some really good fucking.

Sarah was laughing and the two of them blushed furiously as Joan continued:

"I about shit myself when I saw the log he carries. He was the biggest cock I ever had, and was absolutely best fuck in my life! Nobody else even came close. Just that baseball bat alone, I didn't need any foreplay, I tried sucking it, but gave up it was so big. I lowered myself very very carefully on it, stretching me, sweet jesus! I was in heaven, I came two or three times, then without pulling out he startled the shit out or be when he rolled us over into missionary position, without missing a stroke, and when he plunged in and bottomed out, I could feel my innards moving around. And then when he pulled out, I could feel the suction, Jesus I was afraid I'd get a prolapsed uterus. I had another orgasm when that fire plug of his finally popped out. A night in heaven like no other. Other than that though, he wasn't much."

Jane suddenly looked at John and me, startled to realize that John and I heard that, and she let out a gasp, a look of horror on her face. Sarah cluelessly nattered on.

"Thank heavens their not all like him, we'd die in bed for sure...well we'd go from heaven to (giggle) wherever!"

John was really pissed, he broke in:

"So Joan, Brian was the best fuck you ever had! Great big vag stretching uterus sucking Coke can. I am so fucking sorry I fall so far short of the best. Well you can go fuck him all you want, god damn it! You're free to go, I certainly can do better than you, I've passed up a lot of offers...'course they don't know my dick's only average."

Joan's face was white as a ghost:

"Honey, Noo, that was just drunken dirty talk, you're an excellent lover, I'd never trade him for you. Really."

John was off in raging drama:

"So my cock's too small, and no doubt my balls too, so you're telling you're thinking of him when I'm plugging away, well shove it up your ass."

I was thinking, well if it's too small, maybe you should just shove it up her ass, but that was my inside voice speaking. John was glaring with rising rage, Joan's eyes were wide with alarm. A washed-out expression spread on her face, as she fully realized the effect her statements had on John. She loved him and he really was the only one for her. And she didn't want something from her past to affect her present, and her future.

Her face told me she realized how loose talk came across as a full blown insult to her husband's prowess. Myself, it was no big deal, really.

Sarah jumped in with damage control.

"Forget it, Joan. That was then, this is now. Now we've found a couple of good men, love them to death, they're our future. Our lives. The past, the bad and the good is done. We don't live there anymore. And I frankly nothing compares to making love with our husbands. Nobody. Our husbands are our universe now."

God what treacle. She's looped.

John ignored her, and turned to me. Shit I was thinking, don't drag me into this morass you're causing.

"Well, I guess the Bitches told us, didn't they. I'm sorry you two had to settle for second or third rate, too bad your husbands don't do it for you."

Sarah must have realized how phony her comments sounded to everyone, and that She had belittled me too, well, sort of. Her eyes became wide with understanding at the implications. To me, to both of us, to our happiness, our marriage, our marital bed and marital bliss. She looked at me in disbelief, because clearly I wasn't the least upset.

Meanwhile, John was still cranking:

"Despite all happiness and security and love we've given you, you still remember horsecock sex with Brian because it was the best with him. That the intimacy and security we share when we make love isn't memorable, and that sex with Brian was apparently so exciting that you sluts can still remember those few nights after a decade of marriage, whereas by inference I, your husband who loved you. Wasn't worth mentioning. That 'No one satisfied you like Brian

I started laughing and said:

"John, John, Jhn, you're so totally full of shit. Right! Give 'em a break. They just realized we weren't the audience for that particular memory, but I imagine a really big cock was a rare treat to a girl, and obviously made for some very memorable fucks. Sure thing, that! Hamburg and chuck roast are good, but a piece of prime meat can't be beat. They can tell us the truth, it's no big deal... Honest."

John jumped in , as usual, he should have kept his mouth shut:

"What? Come on! This is a big deal, how could it not? Shouldn't you be the best she ever had?"

"Ideally sure, but I see it quite differently. Matter of statistics, really. Look, you two were a couple in high school, and again sophomore year in college, and got married right after school, so you didn't have all that many sex partners, and the first few probably don't count as neither you nor they were very experienced, but even so, if Joan had four or five sex partners in college, that's a 20% chance you're #1. By contrast, Sarah and I were sexually active with others for over ten or fifteen years before we became a couple. We both probably had...I'm just making up a number, 40 sex partners, you know people we fucked for several weeks, you know, more or less, nobody's counting or for that matter can remember...plus a bunch of one night stands, so best sex ever? Out of over forty or more cocks? Lot of competition..."

Sarah who clearly had too much to drink tried to lighten the atmosphere interrupting warbling a bastardized song phrase

"Try to remember the fucks in September, when you had a young and well hung fellow"...

I did have to laugh and continued:

"So Sarah and I are just one out of 40 or 50 partners, so what's the chance she or I would be at the top of our respective lists? Like 2%!"

John just had to keep it going, didn't he?

"You maybe wouldn't be even in the top ten? Why'd you marry each then?"

Dumb question if I ever heard one. I waved my hand and shrugged:

"Come on, bunch of things. The decision to marry? I like women with a quick mind, intellectual curiosity, dark haired women, women with low pitched voices, big ass and whatever for tits. I like women whose sense of humor is similar to mine, who work hard, who have class, self confidence, sure sounds like Sarah, doesn't it? Sex enters it, of course it does, but it's only one of many many factors. And as to the best sex, I'm not Sara's best, as we both just found out, and as you can imagine, Sarah's not the best lay I ever had either. So someone who gives you off the scale sex is great, and if everything else is good, wonderful, but more likely not someone you'd fall in love with and keep for the long haul."

Sarah was certainly paying attention now, smiling broadly as I listed the attributes that defined her, until I said the last bit. Probably not the best thing to say, but I had had a few drinks, and John was irritating me at that point. My wife asked:

"So...where on the erotic scale do I stand, err lay?"

"You're fine, Sarah, we're fine, but this conversation is getting onto difficult grounds, so aside from Brian's cock, was he a good kisser? Know how to eat pussy?"

She was not to be deterred from her single minded question.

"Don't change the fucking subject. Where do I belong on your 1to 40 copulation scale?"

Son of a bitch. Stupid getting us into this morass. Well fuck her, I don't lie to my wife, she asked me twice, and can have both barrels.

"Silly of me to suggest I could compile a copulation scale...so where do you belong on the arbitrary scale? Of the whole list of virtues that make up a marriage, you're at the top or close to it on nearly all of them, probably averaging 85% or better, so I rounded you up to 100%; that's why I'm married to you, and happily so at that.

"And in bed?"

"You're a very acceptable average, or thereabouts."

Sarah was a tight lipped and fuming

"Ok, so you think we're even now? I insulted your manhood; you got me back in spades. Really? Really? Average? I have to pee." As she stood up: "I have no idea what you want me to do, or what expect of me, but I do have to pee."

I shrugged. "Sarah, seriously now, putting aside the conversation we just had, would you do something just to please me?"

She looked at me with some surprise, her face softened a bit to a smile:

"Sure, of course."

"Take your purse in there with you, take off your bra and panties, tuck'em into your purse. Then come back and let's visit for a while longer. I'd really like that."

"Get real. I'll be back in a minute."

Joan nattered on to fill the silence until Sara came back, clearly wearing her bra, bravely and perhaps foolishly taking up where she left off:

"So OK, tell me what makes me only average."

I smiled,

"You just gave us a fine example. I, your husband, your universe, who you profess to want to please, asked you to do something that I would enjoy, something requiring no great effort on your part, and yet you dismissed it without a second's hesitation, no explanation nor even an apology. I'm wondering if you even know why you didn't go along with my wishes?"

"I'm not going braless here."

"Nor commando either evidently, but why on earth would you not? I can think of a number of times you were braless when we were with Joan and John's, so why the refusal?"

Sarah was scrambling clawing her mind for an excuse or explanation:

"I guess because I wasn't comfortable doing it."

"Exactly. You prove my point precisely. You knew it was all right to go braless here, nobody would think ill of you for doing that, but you thought you wouldn't be comfortable letting the tits loose. That I specifically asked you to do that was of no importance at all. Willingness to please me in anything sexual does not determine your actions, in fact what I like and want is totally irrelevant. You first decide if you are comfortable doing...whatever, and if you're not comfortable, you simply don't do it. Period and end of discussion. Sexually you never, ever step out of your somewhat narrow comfort zone; you only do what you've enjoyed in the past, if you don't much care for the very idea of something, rather than talk about it, or try it, you simply refuse to consider it. What I consider erotic or even just pleasurable is just tough shit for me."

"And you don't? Give me an example of something you do just for my pleasure."

"I give you foot messages."

"That's not sexual."

I laughed;

"Joan, switch places with Sarah, John I want you to rub Sarah's feet. I'll do yours if you like Joan. OK with that Hon?"

She glared at me, and begrudgingly allowed as she got my point.

"Another example would be sucking your tits. I think all women love it, you're wired that way, and I'm delighted to do it: I try to do it well, because it gives me a great deal of pleasure to sexually please you, in fact I take pride in doing so, but it's far more pleasing to you than to me."

John jumped in with support for the other side:

"I like sucking tits, and you don't?"

"I didn't say I didn't 'like' sucking tits, I do, but it doesn't turn me on, the only time I get off on tits is in a titty fuck."

Sara closed off the conversation:

"It's late, lets end the discussion, I have to ruminate on all of this for a while."

I was sober enough not to mention that ruminate is what a cow does, instead I said:

"Well, Good. I'm glad something positive may come out of all of this. We still friends?"

I smiled at her.

"Just barely..." she smiled, " I'm kidding, of course we are."

"Good." I stood up, and added:

"Well, I'm sober enough to drive, it's time to call it a night and for us to head out to the hotel."

Sarah scrambled up. "You guys sure you don't want to meet us at the shore tomorrow? 'Supposed to be a nice day for it."

Joan answered:

"We'd like to, but we're committed to go to a picnic with John's folks. You guys enjoy the sin, sand, and sun."

That line got a chuckle, I ad libbed:

"Sin, salt, sand, and sun."

Sarah jumped in with:

"Sin, sun, salt, sand, and shade"

Joan finished it with:

Sin, sun, salt, sand, shade, and snatch!"

John asked:

"Snatch?"

Sarah answered, "another name for pussy."

We said our good byes with laughter, and drove a couple of hours to our motel. Rather than pay beach prices, we spent the night at a four star hotel about 45 minutes from the beach. Not much talking on the way, it was the end of a long day for the both of us, and we were sort of drained.