Old Friends, New Desires Pt. 02

Thanks to the readers who commented on Part one. I will get better at this with practice and advice.

*****

Finally, a way back came from an outside source. We had friends who had been married almost as long as we, and who were about our age. We had been close friends and companions for over 20 years, and they had visited me almost every day in the hospital. Marty, never Martha, a name she hated, was my chief support and shoulder to cry on other than Dan, and her husband Luke provided an outlet for Dan's fears and frustrations. Their home is right behind ours and the backyards had merged together into a play area for our kids and their three. We often spent time at each other's houses.

Dan told me one day that he had invited them over for dinner the next Friday. I didn't want to have anyone visit, even our best friends, but Dan simply, but somewhat sternly, said that it was a "done deal." I got mad at first; who was he to tell me what to do! But the remaining sane voice in my mind reminded me that he was my loving, suffering husband.

So, on a Friday evening in late May, Marty and Luke came over for some barbeque. I really wasn't a good hostess; I was very passive, and everyone seemed to be infected by that mood. We had switched from beer and wine after dinner to cocktails, but being a bit tipsy didn't seem to lighten the mood at all. Then Dan decided to take the conversation a little bit further than we usually shared and everything changed.

We had talked about almost everything in 20 years, but other than some casual jokes and references to how kids slowed down our love lives, we stayed away from discussing details about personal sex lives. Marty and I had never had a "girls' talk" about our spouses or fantasies. I couldn't be positive about Dan and Luke, but neither seemed the type to sit around and get personal on anything, let alone sex; I was sure Dan wasn't.

On a warm May Friday night, the four of us were relaxing with drinks on our deck after a meal that Dan and I had prepared. Actually, Dan had done most of the work; he is a much better cook than I am. Marty and Luke were a bit more tipsy than I was, but Dan seemed to be staying up with them drink for drink, even after we switched from beer and wine to cocktails. Maybe that's why Dan decided to take the conversation a little bit further than we usually shared.

He started with a somewhat personal question that was still in our comfort zone. "Listen, we all are about the same age, and we've been married a long time. I know that we share a lot of experiences and views, so our problems are probably going to be pretty much the same. So, I have a question. Is there anything that you guys (He called everyone guys.) wish were different in your lives? Something you wish you had done or not done. Something you want to change? Something to stay passionate." When he added passionate, they knew he was talking about sex.

There was silence for longer than usual, and Luke and Marty looked at each other sharing that wordless communication that long time couples have. I watched them, wondering how they would approach the question: Humorously, seriously, as simply the start to a general discussion of life. I knew where Dan was going with the question, and I was a bit nervous, so letting them take the lead was OK with me. It would be interesting to see how each would answer because, like Dan and me, Luke and Marty were a couple who had had a long marriage, a good one, but they were about as different as could be.

Marty was an extrovert, a happy, friendly, social person. She threw herself into new adventures and ideas with excitement; she was willing to try just about anything. While Dan and I travelled to beaches and tourist towns, Marty pushed Luke into river rafting, and sky diving; they visited towns off the tourist list. Sometimes they had a great time, sometimes not. But Marty was always ready for the next adventure. Marty taught at the same school I did, first grade. Her class was always loud, mostly from her. The kids had fun and learned a lot. Parents signed up on a list for her class. She would tell you the truth even when it was inconvenient; she didn't hide her opinion. She could be loud and sometimes just hummed or sang songs.

What made it a bit strange was that Marty is an itty-bitty woman. She is only about 5'2" and weighs about 100 pounds. She could have passed for a young girl if you didn't get too close to see the laugh lines around her eyes. She had natural red hair and green eyes and small breasts that she complained about to me often, although I knew she was happy with her body. Her ass was small, but still tight and round. Dan thought it was her sexiest feature. So did I; remember, mine is getting a bit large. She dressed just a bit on the far side of flirtatiously, skirts a bit too short, pants and shirts a bit too tight. But she was so small that it all seemed appropriate for her. She did get a lot of stares from men, including Dan.

Luke was so unlike his wife, physically and psychologically, that I sometimes wondered how they had ever gotten together. First of all, he towered over her; he was close to six feet tall and had a robust, muscular body. Both of them exercise every day, and he has defined muscles and a six pack. Dan and I had wondered how they made love; her face was about on a level with his chest. But Marty was the touching, PDA type and kissed him often in front of us. They managed the contact easily enough.

Luke was also much quieter than his wife; he usually let her take the majority of the conversations. But when he did talk, he was worth listening to. He was an engineer and often spoke very logically; it was clear he thought things through before deciding and speaking. One big asset was that he was a great story teller; he could be serious and very funny. Even relating his daily events could turn into a funny story. I think he was more comfortable with a format, a guideline than just conversing.

I have to admit that I had thought about how touching his chest would be like and - I was embarrassed about this when I told Dan. - what holding his ass would be like. Dan thought it was funny because he had fantasized about Marty's ass. We shared fantasies like that often. As part of keeping our sex life compelling, we even went to public places and picked out people that we found attractive, or just specific body parts that fit our ideal sex object. I usually agreed with Dan's choices, but he often saw mine and asked if that was really my type. I think there must be a psychological point to that but decided not to bother with it and just have fun.

Luke and Marty took much more time to answer than I had thought they would, so I knew that the answer was going to be serious, not a joke. Finally, Marty answered. "We have had feelings like that, just a few years ago" she admitted. "We talked about it. It wasn't a lack of love or passion, as I'm sure it's not for you. It was the loss of the newness that age brings to everything, even sex. Many couples either don't feel it strongly, or just accept it, we believe. That was our conclusion, at least. But we wanted that feeling back. I thought to myself that it sounded like our conclusion, but trying new things hadn't solved our problem. Then she surprised us.

"We tried different fantasies, role playing. You know, nurse and doctor, cop and crook. I particularly liked the two strangers' scene. We even tried a little bit of discipline and bondage." I was shocked, both that they had tried it and that they were telling us. I looked at Dan and could tell he was also surprised, but, like me, he wanted to hear more. We sat and listened.

"We tried it both ways," Luke offered. "With each of us taking turns being dominant or submissive. Those are the terms we found when we looked up BDSM in the computer."

I asked what BDSM meant. Luke seemed a bit reticent but Marty quickly answered. "It stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. Some of it is very ugly looking and seems dangerous, but we stuck to few basic ideas." She paused for a couple of seconds; she looked a bit puzzled. It dawned on me that she was deciding how much more to say. "I have to admit that I liked it when I was tied up and when I tied Luke up. The idea of being in someone else's control or having the same control was a real turn on. I also liked being spanked on my ass, but Luke wasn't aroused by being spanked at all." I think my mouth opened a bit at that.

"I liked the bondage, too, "Luke offered. "I liked touching Marty, knowing that she had to let me do whatever I wanted to." He hesitated for a moment, then seemed to decide something. "I liked getting her ready to climax and then slowing down so she had to wait for it."

Marty was almost laughing. "At first, I was really mad at him, but when I came, er, sorry, climaxed, it was terrific."

I was reeling from this news, and I realized I was very turned on. I was even getting wet thinking about it. At first I pictured Marty and Luke doing the bondage, then I pictured Dan doing it to me. I realized that I had unconsciously started holding my breast. I looked over at Dan and saw a tightening of his shorts. He had an erection! I looked back at Marty and saw her looking at it as well.

I had to know more. I started asking questions. "Do you still do it?"

"Yes," Marty said without hesitation. She didn't stop there. "We have bought some toys online to make it more realistic."

"Like what," I almost yelled.

"Well, some handcuffs, velvet ropes with straps, a couple of belts and whips, and even a ..." She stopped, and even the dim light from the deck's lone lamp showed that she was blushing.

I couldn't imagine what she wouldn't say after the revelations so far. I wanted to beg her to tell us, but settled for the old "If you've gone this far, you have to finish." line.

Marty looked at Joe and he shrugged his shoulders. She avoided looking at Dan and looked straight at me. "We have some butt plugs."

I was so naïve that I wasn't sure what she meant. I stammered, "What, what ... it's a ... what?"

I wasn't making it easier for Marty. She looked at Dan finally, and he smiled and shrugged his shoulders. So she answered in Marty-like fashion, straightforward and blunt. "It's a smooth, oval shaped piece of metal that Joe sticks up my ass."

I could barely breathe. I couldn't move. I wasn't really seeing anyone for a while. So many thoughts were running through my head. Who were these people I thought I knew? How had a simple after dinner conversation led to this? A butt plug! I had always thought of anal intercourse as something dirty, and Dan had never brought it up, so I never had to think about it. Wait. If they used a plug... I blurted out the question before I thought. "Do you have anal sex, too?"

Everyone laughed. At first I was hurt, but quickly saw how funny it must have sounded. I was the one pushing the limits. "I'm sorry, but it seemed like a logical question, and, I just wanted to know. No, I still want to know."

Marty was full on in total disclosure mode now. "Yes, we do. We went years only talking about it once in a while, but I was always afraid. Luke is, is, well Ok, he's rather large."

I was shocked again, not surprised, but this was way too intimate for me to absorb while staying calm. I looked at Dan and found him staring at me. He's really surprised, too, I thought. Then I looked at his face and saw something else there, as if he were gauging my reaction. What!

"How did you start doing it?" I asked. I still craved more information.

To my surprise, Luke answered. He was good at explaining details. "We told you that when we started bondage that we did some research; we found a few interesting things. One was that anal sex is pretty popular today. Sex researchers say that more and more people are trying it now than since they began tracking those kinds of things.

"Second, there is a set of rules that are designed to take the fear and danger out of the bondage and discipline. For example, it's really just play acting with some serious stunts. Nobody has to do anything they haven't agreed to try beforehand. Plus there is a "safe word" that the submissive partner, the one who is receiving the B and D, can use that instantly stops everything."

"I used that a lot at the beginning," Marty said. "Almost everything we did at first scared me a bit, but Luke stopped as soon as I said stop. Eventually, that made me worry less and allowed me to take a few more chances and give Luke a bit more time."

"Your stop word was stop?" Dan asked with a small laugh.

"Yeah, at first, but we soon realized that I would say stop as part of the game, when I didn't want to stop, but Luke did stop. So we changed it to pineapple." She saw the bewildered look on our faces and said, "Well, I really hate pineapple."

There was a lull in the talking for a second; I think everyone was taking time to adjust to this new information and the new state of our relationship. I looked around and noticed that the others seemed to be lost in reflection, not looking carefully at each other. I was. Dan still had the erection and was readjusting his shorts to make it more comfortable. Luke was rubbing Marty's back and shoulders. And Marty was adjusting her skirt which had become bunched up while she leaned forward and talked. Somehow, the skirt ended up higher on her thighs than before. I knew that just a few inches away would be her panties. I looked at Dan again and knew that he had seen the skirt move up. He was still looking at it.

To my surprise, I realized I was still holding my left breast with my right hand, and now I was actually moving my hand in circles over it. I was embarrassed, but I didn't stop. I looked at Marty again and she was staring directly into Dan's eyes. Her mouth was open and her breathing made a very soft sound with each exhalation. I broke the silence with another question. "How did you feel during the anal sex? Didn't it hurt?"

"Yep. It did. But we took it slow for a few weeks adding a little bit at a time until it stopped hurting and Luke's co..., umh, penis was all in. The research we did said that there are thousands of nerve endings in your butt. That makes it hurt more at first, but when you adjust, it adds to the pleasure. It was kinda' like the whipping."

I reacted like a teenager. "Oh my God!" They had mentioned buying whips, but I hadn't thought beyond that to actually using them. "You whip each other?" I couldn't stop asking.

"Well," Luke responded, "I have to admit that I do most of the whipping; I'm not too happy with getting whipped. It's selfish of me, I know; I should stop using the whips and canes on Marty, but I love to see her ass turn red. Most of the time I use my hand."

"And, I have to admit, that every time he does it, it starts out hurting, but in a little while, I start getting wet, turned on." Marty had a big smile on her face when she said it, but she looked at our faces and must have seen us just gaping at her. "I'm sorry if that was too much information."

"That's OK," said Dan. "By now, a little bit of plain speaking seems appropriate."

"Well, then, I get a boner as hard as a rock," Joe offered with a smile.

"Which I put to good use," Marty added with her own smile.

I had been pushed beyond my limits of decorum by then. At least, what used to be my limits. My brain was reeling with pictures, ideas, desires, and confusion. It was all shocking, but most of all, I was overcome by my reaction to know more, more details, more examples. I decided to give everyone a chance to regroup, and asked if anyone wanted another drink or a snack. All of us wanted another snack, so Dan and Luke started making some. Marty and I went into the kitchen for snacks.

When we were alone, Marty immediately started talking; she seemed a bit subdued, even worried. "Celia, I'm sorry if this has been a mistake, if it has been terrible for you. We got carried away, but we don't want to hurt our best friends. I'm so sorry." She started crying.

I moved toward her, held her in my arms, and told her that it was the exact opposite, that Dan and I appreciated that we were such good friends that they could share all this with us. "If you want to know the truth, I'm quite turned on, and I think Dan has an erection. Wait, plain speaking, he has a hard on. And, we want to hear more."

"Really?" Marty hugged me harder and laughed. "That is so wonderful to hear. To tell the truth, Luke and I have talked about telling you before, but we never seemed to get that intimate. We wanted to share this new phase of our life with someone who understood us and cared for us. This is perfect."

I was still terribly curious. "Good, but, Marty, tell me the truth. Do you really get excited about all this, bondage, spanking, whipping? Or do you say you do for Luke?"

"No, no. I love it. I'll tell you a secret. When I masturbate, I think about being tied up or about Luke beating my ass." She paused, looked thoughtful, then asked me, "Tell me Celia, what you think about when you masturbate? I know that's really personal, but it seems that privacy has gone out the window tonight. I wonder what fantasies or memories you use since I've told you mine."

I kept quiet for a minute and thought. Marty was right, personal, private parts of our lives seemed less important now. But I didn't want to answer the question. Still, I guessed I owed Marty the truth. "I don't masturbate anymore." That's all I said. I was more embarrassed by that admission than by anything else that night. I hadn't masturbated in several years; I purposely didn't think about it. But tonight I had to face the fact that part of my sex life was gone. I began to add that to the unrest I had felt about sex and was not happy with what it seemed to say.

"Really! That's so sad. I couldn't go more than a few days without sticking my fingers in my pussy." Marty had let polite language go, but that was OK with me. The word "pussy" was the right word. I have a pussy and like most of the world's people, I had grown up making myself climax. No, cum. Maybe it was time to start using some real words, not medical terms. Marty went on. "What stops you? Wait, given your reaction tonight, is it that you can't find something to get excited about? What is it?"

"I haven't thought about it." Then, an idea just popped into my head and I thought about it for a few seconds. "Marty, it's worse than that. I just realized that I can't remember getting wet at all, for a long time, unless Dan and I were having sex." I felt like crying.

Marty stepped forward and hugged me. It was comforting, but awkward. Her head rested across the top of my breasts. I was suddenly aware that I was paying more attention to her head on my chest than her comforting me. My attention was distracted when Marty reached around me and grabbed my ass.

"We have to get this working again. Gotta' shake your ass up. Sex with hubby is great, but you have to feel like a woman again. Someone who can turn men on, who can flaunt this great ass of yours." She let go and stepped back. "Tell me the truth, what is your real reaction to what Luke and I told you tonight?"

"I'm not sure," I lied. Marty simply crossed her arms, glared at me, and struck a pose that yelled, Tell me the truth. Damn. It was time for truth. "I got wet. I haven't thought about all of it or what parts I would want, but the thought of doing something so different, so daring, got me wet." I braced myself. "I want to try it." It felt so good, so right to say that. "I want to try all of it."

I was excited about sex! I could feel the stirrings of a change in my attitude. Hadn't thought about my missing breast or felt that I couldn't be a part of any sexual situation because I was deformed. Then I realized that not only Dan, but Marty and Luke didn't seem at all hesitant to be in a sexual experience like this with me. Dan's repeated promise that the loss f a breast didn't affect my sexuality was finally sinking home.