OMG! I'm Naked in School! Ch. 02: Carolyn

It was 7:25, and Carolyn was as nervous as she'd ever been before a date. Just because she didn't have to worry about what to wear, didn't mean that she didn't have to worry about what to wear. In fact, it was worse. She'd spent most of the afternoon preparing. Even as early as this morning she had stripped and freshly repainted her toes and fingernails with a sparkly, metallic--blue polish she'd been saving for a special occasion. She had gone back and forth about what to do with her hair for at least an hour, finally selecting a blue bow to match her eyes. The whole thing with the bow had been such a decision. She'd felt compelled to wear something, but knew the bow would make her look younger; something she definitely wanted to avoid. Yet it was pretty, and it was something, so she went with it. For a necklace, she chose a simple gold heart on a chain her dad had given her, and she'd even talked her mom into loaning her a favorite pair of sandals. Since she didn't have to spend so much time changing and rechanging clothes as was her normal anxious compulsion prior to going out on a date, Carolyn had spent that time in front of the bathroom mirror worrying over her makeup to the point that she'd redone herself three times before she was satisfied enough to leave well enough alone.

The entire time she worked on her makeup, her mind was awhirl. She'd try to concentrate on the task at hand, as she worked carefully on her eyeliner, but found her eyes would keep dropping to her breasts reflected in the mirror. Looking at her nipples, that anxious chill would set back in. God! Carolyn! You're naked! Do you really think you can go out on a date, naked? But even with the anxious chill, the cloud of butterflies raging in her tummy and that voice in her head trying to talk her into backing down, the thrill of knowing she simply was going to do this was what held everything else at bay.

When Carolyn had finally finished up, and was back in her room and standing before her dresser's mirror and trying not to tremble, the image she cast back to herself was one of mixed messages. Her light brown hair was brushed to perfection, falling about her shoulders and actually shining in the light. She had to admit she'd done a really stellar job on all her make up, but especially her eyes; the soft cornflower blue seemed to shine out. The little heart necklace looked so sweet, as sometimes going simple and understated simply is better. yet, in terms of a fashion understatement there just wasn't any getting around this was a naked girl in the mirror. Since Monday a week ago she had fought a constant running battle of conscience over her pubic hair, or lack there of. This afternoon she'd been so careful with the razor as she worked on keeping herself bikini line trim, yet still, here again she felt as if she'd gone to far and her lips were painfully naked.

Carolyn had decided to go ahead and carry a purse. Whether or not to carry a purse had been a big decision in itself. She'd chosen one with a long, fine chain and silvery sequins. It wasn't too formal, but it wasn't like her well--worn, "I--don't--care--I'm--just--going--to--the--mall--with--Marcie" bag, either. Here, looking at her reflection in the mirror and seeing herself as she would appear to Ryan, the whole purse thing remained somewhat an issue. It was just that she felt she should carry a purse, and as an accessory, it did match her hair bow, lipstick, nail polish and sandals. Yet it had to be the psychology of the thing, but it did look out of context to be completely naked and have this bag hanging off her shoulder and positioned at her hip. She tried posing with it on the left and then right, and then a little in front and then a little behind, and finally decided on letting it just hang off her left hip so she could hold it in place with her hand. She really didn't have all that much in it anyway, just a compact, her lip--gloss, a brush, her wallet, and a package of the hygienic towelettes.

Next, Carolyn's eyes focused on her ID security bracelet. The thing just did look tacky as there had been no attempt by the designers to make it the least bit feminine friendly as an accessory, and it really looked like a guy's cheap watch. Yet that was one item that couldn't be helped. She could nix the bow and ditch the purse, even the sandals for that matter, but the ID bracelet was there to stay.

As she drifted back to her image in the mirror and now concentrating on her eyes, she flashed back to her very first real date. Those same eyes had looked back to her as reflected in this same mirror those few years ago, and oddly, so many of the emotions behind them, then as now, also were the same. Technically, her parents had said she couldn't date until she was sixteen, but she and Paul Beringer had gone to the eighth grade graduation dance. Of course, his dad had driven them there, and the whole affair had been heavily chaperoned by parents and faculty alike. Yet, for Carolyn, in her mind's eye, that would always be her very first real date. She could recall it now so vividly, standing in front of this very same mirror, the very same butterflies tickling her insides. That evening she'd been wearing a pretty, blue dress with white lacing. That was one big difference between then and now. But a similarity was her anxiety and excitement and that so much had been racing through her mind. Little things, like: If we sit in the back seat should I sit up close next to him or as far away as I can get? What if he wants to hold hands? What if there's a slow dance, should I let him hold me close if he wants to? Of course, the big question was: What if he tries to kiss me?

Now, though all that seemed a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away; so many of those questions were still running through her head, especially the one about the traditional goodnight kiss. In her mind, she'd been tumbling this issue over and over almost ever since she'd told Ryan, "yes" and then hung up the phone. The very thought of it, in picturing herself naked and letting him kiss her was fraught with every kind of excitement and apprehension. In her worst case scenario she'd imagined him being so bold as trying to make out with her in the movie, or out parked somewhere in his car. But then, finally she'd imagined the more traditional and conservative scene out on her porch at the end of the night.

Quite frankly, the first two concepts she wasn't about to let happen; but the third, imagining standing out on her porch under the stars and both of them being so nervous while they held hands, looking into one another's eyes and then coming together to touch lips, this gave her quite a little thrill.

Finally though, Carolyn went down to the living room to sit in silent anticipation on the couch, her purse strategically placed over her lap and looking at the time on her ID band every few seconds. Of course, her mom, her dad, and Charli were all right there with her. Her dad had been pretty much against the whole idea ever since she'd burst into the den last night with the news. Right off, he'd said he just couldn't imagine it; and kept repeating over and over, "How can you go out on a date if you're naked?" It's just not right!"

Tonight, just minutes before Ryan was supposed to arrive, the argument had flared back up again.

"Carolyn!" Like a caged animal with no room, her dad was pacing back and forth in front of the TV. "I can't believe you're going to go through with this. I mean," he swept out a hand, "come on, look a you?"

"She looks pretty," her mom had come back.

"She's not pretty! She's naked, for Christ's sake!" Her dad fired back. "There's a difference!"

"Yes, Carolyn is unclothed. But, I don't for the life of me know why you're so against this, John?"

In another quick revelation, Carolyn suddenly realized that her mother strictly avoided ever using the word, "naked." She'd say, "un clothed," or "undressed," or sometimes even "nude," but never "naked."

"Yeah, dad," Carolyn had argued back. "Dad, it's just a date. It's not sex."

Just saying the word sex, he'd flinched and missed a step in his pacing.

"I mean, come on, Dad?" Carolyn pressed her case from where she was sitting on the couch with her mother by her side. "You've been seeing me naked now for a couple of weeks. You of all people should know," she waved her hands down to indicate her body, "the study isn't about sex."

Pointing out to her dad that he had been seeing her naked wasn't exactly the right thing to say, that is if Carolyn's goal was to soothe rather than incite.

Carolyn's mom jumped in. "She's right, John. In fact, I'd say sex is less likely now that she's unclothed."

It was Carolyn's turn to be aghast. "Mom!"

"Well, look at it this way, baby." Her mom placed a calming hand on Carolyn's knee. "I'd say the fact that you are undressed will make the entire date so different the whole issue of sex will be a little too weird. It's just ... just ..." Her mom threw up her hands, almost at a total loss for words. "It's just ... Too! Well ... Too ... Too!"

Charli, as always was ready to help. She'd jumped into the conversation with, "Daddy when I turn sixteen, would you let me go out on a date with a boy if I was naked?"

Carolyn's dad's pacing stopped right in his tracks.

"Look, John," Carolyn's mom was desperately trying to be so diplomatic, and in spite of the heavy stress in the air she was doing a fair job of keeping her voice even and calm. "I don't really feel all too comfortable about this, either. But, I haven't felt all too comfortable about a lot of things since Monday a week ago. We're just going to have to deal with this, too." She again patted Carolyn's knee. "John, Carolyn is eighteen. She's in this study. We all agreed to it."

"Yeah." He looked almost pleading. "I know, she's in the study." 'Study,' the way he'd mouthed the word, to Carolyn it sounded as though it tasted rotten. "But I didn't think she'd be going out on any nude dates."

Carolyn scooted a bit and tossed her hair back. "Daddy?" She was always careful when around him to sit with her knees clenched and her arms in so she could mostly cover her breasts without making it look like she was blatantly trying to do so. And with the purse in her lap she had her hands folded down over it ever so ladylike. "I'm telling you, daddy, I'll be okay. I'm scared, too. I won't say I'm not. But, I've been scared so many times since I got started in all this. And every time I find some way to get through it, and then, when I look back it's not so bad." Boy, you really told him a whopper with that one, rushed through her mind as she again tossed her hair.

Carolyn raised her hand briefly to jangle her wrist before quickly recovering her purse to keep it from falling off of her lap. "I've got my security bracelet, and I can tell you after Marcie set it off at the pool it really works." In her mind Carolyn was suddenly flashed with that pervasive image of Sarah, naked, and smiling as she had as she so coyly, yet overtly, presented herself to that big, black cop, Calvin Roscoe. She quickly regained her thoughts. "And it's not like I haven't been out with Ryan before, you know."

Her dad was focusing on her, but only on her eyes. "I hope you weren't naked with him that time?"

Now it was Carolyn's mother's turn to be aghast. "John? What a thing to say?"

"I know! I know!" He threw up his hands. You're going to tell me I'm getting over emotional again. But, it's just ... what kind of a guy is willing to go out on a dare with a naked girl?"

"Dare?" Carolyn seized on the word. "You said 'dare.' "

Now he really was flustered, her dad fired back, "You know what I meant! Dare, date, what's the difference? I guess you're going to say that was some kind of a Freudian slip on my part. And who knows, maybe it was?" He was back to pacing again. "I just don't feel right about it is all. And I don't see how this guy she's going out with could either?" He was now so worked up he fairly roared. "I mean what is he, anyway? Some kind of a pimp or something? What kind of guy goes out on a date with a naked girl, for Christ's sake?"

The doorbell rang.

Everyone looked toward the hall.

Carolyn's mom got to her feet, speaking in a hush with her finger before her lips. "Now you be nice to the young man, John. I can imagine he'll be nervous enough without you jumping on him."

Carolyn started to get up, but her dad waved her back down.

"You just sit where you are, young lady." He began walking toward the hall. "Everybody stay where they are. I'll let him in."

Carolyn, held her purse, and her palms were wet and clammy. She heard the door open, and then Ryan's strong voice. "Good evening, Sir. You're Carolyn's father? I don't know if you remember me, sir? I'm Ryan."

Though Carolyn didn't have super vision and couldn't see through the wall, she could see in her mind Ryan standing there with his hand extended, and that eagerly boyish look she'd though was so cute when he'd done the same thing a year ago.

When the two came around the corner, Carolyn's dad still had Ryan's hand gripped in a handshake, as he had yet to let go. Upon seeing Carolyn, her dad did let go of Ryan's hand and came striding over to stand right next to her, as though he were some kind of guard.

Carolyn's mom got up and stepped over lightly, offering her own hand. As he took it, she said so sweetly, "I remember you, Ryan. You play football, don't you?"

He was so cool, but Carolyn didn't miss spotting the nervous shuffle of his feet. "That's right, ma'am."

Carolyn's mom looked back at her husband, then quickly back to Ryan "What position do you play?"

Ryan was dressed in a pair of freshly pressed tan khakis and a nice button down white shirt. With the way his dark hair was so perfectly combed, it was obvious he had taken great pains to present himself as the picture of a nice young man. "Linebacker." He showed everyone a flash of pride in his grin. Strong side linebacker."

"Carolyn's dad played football in high school, too, Ryan." Her mom's voice was oh--so sweet and as condescending as if she were praising a three--year--old about a picture he'd just drawn as she addressed her husband. "What position did you play, John?"

Carolyn knew full well her mom knew exactly what position her dad had played. They'd heard every one of his football stories at least as many times as infinity squared.

Her dad, still standing protectively to Carolyn's side grudgingly offered up a reply. "I was a tail back."

Ryan, to his own credit, spoke right up. "You know, that's one thing I love about my playing defense, Mr. Timmons. I love to tackle backs coming out of the backfield. And, of course, one of my all--time favorite things is catching one while he's still in the backfield and then nailing him for a loss." He had his eyes squarely fixed on Carolyn's dad, football player to football player. "Of course, on a pass play to come up full speed on the receiver when he's concentrating on making the catch and he's not paying attention to you while he's got his eyes fixed on the ball, that's a pretty good one, too."

Carolyn knew Ryan had it won when her dad couldn't help but smile. It was Carolyn's mom who then stepped right back in with perfect timing. "Well, I guess you two young people had better get going if you're going to make the eight fifteen show."

As Carolyn got up and passed by, her mother made a quick little reach to touch Carolyn by the shoulder and stop her and straighten Carolyn's bow. Up close, Carolyn was positive she saw a tear in the corner of her mother's eye.

Outside in the evening air while walking down to Ryan's car, was another of those overwhelming and entirely surreal experiences. The afternoon heat had long ago broken, the sun was angled down below the trees and the evening sky had gone that soft and velvety blue. Just after coming down the steps she had almost let go of her purse and almost held hands with him. It was one of those reflexive things, and they'd both drawn back upon contact of their fingers. There was just so much going on emotionally; Carolyn's normal first date jitters were squared exponentially, even if this wasn't technically their first date. As she led the way down the walk with Ryan trailing right behind, she had another of those visions of herself in her mind's eye. It wasn't so entirely detailed as some of her others; it was more a holistic thing of seeing the front of their house and the two of them on the walkway. Still, as she led the way down to the driveway she found herself hoping Ryan wasn't looking at her tush. She knew for a fact if she was to give a look back over her shoulder she would see her dad and her mom, and surely, Charli, too, peeping out around the curtains of the front room's windows checking on everything.

She hadn't noticed it before, but with a quick gasp, she realized Mr. Keyes, was out in his yard across the street. He performed the most pronounced double take when he saw Carolyn. This wasn't the first time he had seen Carolyn since she'd started participating in the study; he had seen her twice before. The first time he'd been out arguing over something with Mr. Wryno, and Carolyn's walking down the driveway to her car naked had brought the political confrontation to a screeching halt. The second time was last Wednesday evening when she'd gone down to the street to the mailbox to get the mail as Charli had steadfastly refused telling Carolyn it was her turn. Mr. Keyes was just getting in from work, and was so distracted by seeing Carolyn naked he almost hit his own garbage cans with his car while pulling into his driveway. Tonight it was probably a little shameless, but Carolyn found herself with one of those odd mood swings, and it was actually fun for her to wave a little too--da--loo at Mr. Keyes as Ryan opened the door for her. When she'd sat down and Ryan quite gentlemanly closed the door for her, Carolyn looked out at Mr. Keyes as she adjusted the seat belt. Suddenly though, she found herself flushed with the most brazen grin, she just couldn't seem to suppress, as the realization of her nudity and what her neighbor must be thinking as he looked at her caught up with Carolyn.

Ryan got in, closing the door and immediately put the key in the ignition. As he started the motor and then fastened his seatbelt, he was fixated on staring out the windshield, but did hazard one quickly furtive glance at Carolyn just before putting the car in reverse. When they backed out onto her street and then began driving, for the first little while the silence was deafening. Finally though, it was Ryan who spoke up. "So what was so funny back there?"

Carolyn, who had been concentrating out of the side window, glanced over. "What?

"When I got in the car, you looked as if you'd just thought of something really funny." He nervously regripped the wheel, lacing his fingers up and then back down again. "Whatever it was you need to let me in on it. Whatever I did wrong, I was there, and I can't remember anything all that funny in my meeting your parents?"

He gave Carolyn a surprise, suddenly looking down to his lap and then flashing her an embarrassed grin. "I mean, my fly wasn't open, was it?"

Suddenly, the whole spell was broken. Being so blatant as to have tossed that little wave at Mr. Keyes, and now Ryan's self--effacing attempt at humor was just the right touch to help her breath an internal sigh of relief. "As if anyone would have cared," Carolyn came back.

"Hey! Hey!" Ryan was doing a good job of acting put out. "What do you mean, nobody would have cared? Geeze, I mean I don't get to go around like your pal, Robert, but I would hope at least somebody might care if I did let it all hang out."